Ethnic identity is very cool and all, should certainly be super celebrated by everyone. But I wouldn't get caught too much into it. We're all part of the same human race. There's very little genetic variance in the human DNA structure.
Agreed, 100%.
Odd thing....
My Sis and I were both adopted at/near birth. Raised by 2 of the finest God has ever placed here. We came from 2 entirely different gene pools (she, from Columbus/I, from CLE, although we could pass for blood on viewing).
Since we were little kids, she's been obsessed with her origins.
I couldn't care less if I was paid to.
I don't even care for health/longevity reasons, because...
-everyone dies of something eventually. Sometimes, it's because one was hit by a bus. For me, 'genetic markers' would be a weight around my neck. I don't know anything about them... and I feel free, as a result.
Back in the early 2000's, Oprah ran a series of "reunion" episodes, wherein long-lost family, separated by adoption, were reunited. It was a huge rage at the time (early DNA/internet years, you know?)
At a dinner party, one of my dearest friends had been caught up in the Oprah thing... and wanted to know why I wasn't at the 'bleeding edge' of such an initiative. She was shocked that I wasn't part of the spearhead movement.
[Mary]: "...but WHY NOT? You have the tools to solve a mystery..."
[Clem]: "What mystery?"
"Where you came from.... who you are..."
"I'm from Cleveland. And I already know who I am."
"But-"
"Answer me this, Mary- how many parents do you have?
"Two."
"How many parents did you need?"
"Well... two."
"How many parents did I have?
"Two."
"Exactly. It doesn't matter to me if I share blood with My Parents. What's important is that I shared
Life with them. They're the only parents I've ever had, the only ones I've ever known... and the only ones I'll ever need. They gave me everything- and because of that, I want for nothing."
"But aren't you curious about-"
"Nope. My life started when I first opened my eyes to My Mommy and My Daddy. Just like you. I don't care about bloodlines, heredity or potential health and wellness issues. I'm here now... and that's enough for me."
That was almost 20 years ago. My stance has not changed one iota.
I admit that my situation is unique, but it also lends itself to a certain freedom of identity for me. To be sure, I've adopted My Momz's and Pops' family histories... but I've also always felt free to make of myself what I may, without the pressure of health history/family institution(s) influencing my day-to-day choices. I base my day-to-day life on the teachings that I received from them... but I also make my own way in this world.
I know that My Incubator and My Sperm Donor were both young students in the CLE area at the time of my birth. I know that they were unwed when I arrived. I know that my tan-looking arse came from a couple who didn't look like Barbie and Ken (Barbie? perhaps. Ken- not so much). That's all I've ever known. I
assume that my adoption was due to my bi-raciality, waytheF back- in 1956.
________________
I have two things to thank My Incubator for:
1. Carrying me to term
2. Giving me up, so that I could be raised by two of the most giving and loving Human Beings Our Father has ever seen fit to place on this planet.
I started out with less than nothing... and was gifted by God with more than most. To ask or want more from my life just seems like... greed to me. A person who has everything he's ever wanted or needed should not require more from his life.
Oh, I'm sure that there is some heart-wrenching/heart-warming story behind the circumstances that led to my abandonment/embrace, but that story belongs to others' biographies. I'll let The Donor and The Incubator write out "my chapter in their lives" as they see fit.
I'm too busy writing out my own chapters- with 2 Real Parents as central figures in my early chapters.
If I hail from Sweden and Zimbabwe, fine and dandy. If I hail from a dozen other worldwide sources, so be it. It means nothing at all to me.
What matters is who raised me, who I am... and who I make of myself, going forward.
I know that for some, this post reads as me being harsh and bitter, but it really isn't. I write these words from a a dispassionate, detached POV. I make a distinction between Incubators/Doners and Mothers/Fathers because that distinction has been essential in my understanding of Family. It's a distinction that My Sister always struggled with, because she could never make the intellectual separation between a random act of procreation- and a commitment to child-rearing.
Life isn't about blood.
Life is about choices.
I
choose to ignore the 'unsolved mysteries' regarding my genesis. Because I've already had the best parents a person could want... and because they came from champion American stock.
Case: closed.
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