Shameless Self-Promotion time, hounds.


Clemdawg's Swagger

OK... so you all know that I use a horse's tail to scratch out noises on a hollow box, a weirdazz specialized activity for which I am paid money. I started this journey when I was 9 years old, and it's been a blessing to do so all these decades later (beats dahelloutta honest work, knowhatimsayin'?).

What is less well-known: I also have a side hustle.

I can read and/or memorize printed text, and recite it as natural speech (think: audible.com).
About 20 years ago, our band's Admin found out about this ability of mine, and asked me to perform the narration to a piece that featured spoken voice with orchestra (Google: Aaron Copland: 'A Lincoln Portrait' to hear the piece that gave me my start).

That first joint worked out.

Next Saturday (10/19/19), I'm the featured soloist on our October Masterworks Concert.

I'll be narrating a 30- minute composition written as an 'introduction to the orchestra'- type piece. The music is written to highlight all the different orchestral instruments (and the sounds/roles they play) in a format that teaches the listener about the various parts of the symphony orchestra, and eventually pieces them together like puzzle parts. It's a time-honored writing tradition that dates back to the 19th c.

This joint is a clever update that is only about 10 years old. The music was written by a SanFran- based composer, Nathaniel Stookey. The narration is written by sardonic childrens' author Lemony Snicket, author of "A Series Of Unfortunate Events."

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This piece takes form as a murder mystery. The composer is found dead, and the Inspector is called upon to find the murderer (or murderers) and bring them to justice. Each and every instrument of the orchestra finds themselves on the list of 'usual suspects.'

I have worked every day on this project for 6 months.
I have memorized the text.
I have worked out the cadence, timing, and tone, as it relates to the composed music.
I have developed 15 distinct, unique voices to portray the various characters in the narrative.

Dawgs: If you have the evening free, you really should consider dropping in on this joint. Our new Music Director is trying to find new lovers of the art like you- and he's lining up gigs like this one to invite you all in. The music is stuff you've heard all your life (without even knowing it), and the feature piece is something that will make you smarter/more clever- while you LYAO.

If you are in the 419, consider rolling up into "Da Style." It's gonna be a stone par-tay.

#ssp/out

Wish I could attend.

Let me know if you make it up to the 330. (to the Youngstown/Warren area)

Sounds pretty neat! If I lived closer I’d check it out

I'd be there for sure if I lived closer. Sounds cool.

Wow. Sounds pretty amazing Clem! A lot of dedication required to pull this thing of, eh? Wish I wasn't 600 miles away.

Any chance of an audio recording?

I'm very happy for you and certainly wish you all the best. I'm sure you won't need it with the preparation and dedication you have devoted to it.

Living south of Nashville I won't be able to attend. But it sounds as if this is yet a second passion to you and I'm so very glad you will have the opportunity to expand on it.

yes, I’d enjoy a posted recording too

He sent me a cd a while back. 10 years ago or so? He does a great job.


For some reason, he doesn't care for me anymore due to politics......yet he still takes crap from others.

Sounds pretty awesome!

This is no small thing, and needs to be shared. You gotta find a way to get a CD/MP3 for the remote dawgs to get in on this.

"This piece takes form as a murder mystery. The composer is found dead, and the Inspector is called upon to find the murderer (or murderers) and bring them to justice. Each and every instrument of the orchestra finds themselves on the list of 'usual suspects."

Shhhh. The maestro is decomposing.

There are copyright/intellectual property issues involved. In fact, if you go to YouTube, the only full recording available is the one narrated by the author of the text. I did an interview on the radio last week, and we weren't allowed to play excerpts or quote any of the text.

For local folks, there is only one surefire way to experience this clever, funny work- get to the concert on Saturday night.

If I can find a way to share on the sneak tip, I'll follow up in this thread. I do know it will be broadcast via the local NPR station around a month after the performance. When I find that date, I'll drop the 411 here, as well.

Thanks for your interest. I'll see what can be done for our far-flung Dawgs. It's definitely a piece that deserves as many ears as can be reached.

clem

This is not about you. It's about Clem and his music.

Btw...............I think this is very cool. I like seeing other dawgs do well. I remember something from awhile back where dawgs were asking Clem if it would be cool to start barking [or something similar] while he was playing at Carnegie Hall. I think I chided them, but Clem came on said he would like it or love it. I can't remember exactly. The point is that I retold that story to family members and friends because I thought it was cool as hell.

This story sounds cool, too.

I don't take crap from anybody any more. I'm too old, and life (what's left of it for me) is too short.

There are at least 3 or 4 other Dawgs I've recently placed on the curb. I've immediately stepped on the gas, and haven't bothered to look in the rear-view mirror for any of them. All were guilty of the exact same transgression.

I don't take well to preaching or scolding.
I am amazingly consistent in this.
I've walked away from non-cyber friends as well.

It was never politics. This is now the fifth time I've told you that. Only difference: this is first time I've done it publicly.

Thanks for the compliment. The passive-aggressive barb attached was a particularly charming addition.

Clem, good luck with the show. I am sure you will pull it off.

Preparation pays off.

I wish I could attend but Reno is pretty far away.

Maybe you could provide a little recap of how it went.

Thanks, bone.
Usually, the Masterworks gigs are reviewed in the local rag. If there is a review, I promise to share it (even if the reviewer hates the main act).


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So, yeah... our local Public Broadcasting affiliate has a very nice facility near the central city. They run the PBS/NPR programming for the entire NW corner of the state of Ohio.

Years ago, they made a public service commitment: they entered into partnership with all the local/regional Arts organizations to help promote their projects/initiative/concerts. An outgrowth of that commitment: a regular radio program/podcast that features My Band's doin's. It's called SymphonyLab™, and it exists primarily to hype the upcoming events folks can attend when we do our thang.

Monday 10/7, I was in the studio to blast with the podcast cast (a.k.a. "The Usual Suspects").
Yesterday, this dropped on an unsuspecting public.

419 Dawgs please note: a limited number of tix are still available. The Peristyle at the Toledo Museum of Art is one cool place to take in a show... and this one is fun AF. Be there... or be the one wishing he was.

I wish I lived closer and could get Saturday off Clem. Good Luck!

I love that Museum... I was supposed to come see your one show a few years back. My sister don't live far from there..Luna Pier.. Maybe I can plan a road trip... let me put this in the works... get a hold of me during the week..

Sounds very interesting...Hope I can make it work..

We're camp hosts at the state park until November 1st. Are you doing the Christmas show this year? Would love to catch that again.

That schedule hasn't come out yet for us individual players. I'm sure the band will be there, but we players rotate in and out the entire holiday season.

It was great to put your face to the posts a few years ago, and would be cool to hook up again this year. I'll let you know.

You really should try to make it. The piece I'm doing is a stitch. It's funny, very cleverly written, and you don't need a degree in music history to be in on all the jokes. The rest of the concert is cool, as well. Follow this link in my OP, and you can reserve your tix right from that page.

Hope to see you at the gig!

Damn.. miss the old 419... where I grew up

This sounds to cool to pass up. I remember you postig pics of the Peristyle a couple years ago and thinking that I couldn't believe it was in Ohio. I'm always talking about getting the family out for new experiences, but I've turned into a lame homebody. Time to take action.

The Kong's are roadtrippin' to Toledo Saturday. Spoke to a charming young lady named Kalindy at the box office Wednesday. Asked her if I could buy tickets to the orchestra and museum together. She let me know the museum is free and informed me of various things going on there even though it's a separate organization.

My kids are pumped. My son likes the idea of a murder mystery and my daughter is intrigued by the dark story behind "Night on Bald Mountain." She is also excited to see the youth orchestra members playing with their mentors. I think it will be great for the kids to see people who are living their passion.

I'm excited to see you do your thing. I'm also looking forward to learning about something out of my element; in reading about this I never even knew there was a difference between classical, pops, light classical or any of that.

At the very least, I'll have 15 different dialects to choose from when I read your posts from now on. We'll be in Section F Row D seats 8-11. Looking forward to it. Break a leg, Clem.

This is fantastic, Kong!

I'm always at work to bring new eyes and ears to this crazy thing we do.

Thank you so much

Had a great time! Couldn't find you at first 'cuz I didn't really know the layout and got lost in the tunes. During the Liberace medley I pinned you down. I've always had a negative reaction to musicians who give pained expressions, as if they are trying to draw attention to their herculean efforts. Your face was a picture of cool, calm, and in control. No pretension, a freakin' pro who knows what he's doing.

I was Blown Away by The Composer is Dead. I loved the way you enunciate the onomatopoeia's throuhout the piece. 30 minutes in perfect syunch with a legion on musicians behind you. I would think it would be so easy to get just a beat or two off, but you nailed it. I loved the ad-lib bit where you said something along the lines of, "somebody must have snuck into the penthouse in hell and set the thermostat to 31 degrees because the CLEVELAND BROWNS are in second place in the AFC North." Was that a stage direction where you had so long to ramble before the conductor turned and tapped at you or how did that come to be? As you listed off the dead composers with ever increasing intensity I kept thinking, he's gonna have to take a breath. How in the HECK did you keep going?

My son and I laughed so hard when you set up the "whisper" of the trumpets. My son thought the piano was awesome. The tuba is now his favorite instrument.

My daughter and I wondered if the girl who plays the harp has callouses on the sides of her fingers. We talked about the story behind Night on Bald Mountain. I asked her to visualize while it was playing. I toyed with the idea of showing it to her in Fantasia before the concert, but thought it would be like watching a movie before you read the book. I thought it was a great lesson in how sound can affect your other senses.

Thanks for the shared experience. Maybe the kids don't see it now, but I felt a closeness to them, rarely achieved, as we drove home and shared what we enjoyed.

Dawg, I'm so happy that you came with your family.

I got into this when I was 9 years old. My Parents had to learn about this weird, niche world right along with me, so it was this huge group experience for us all (My Sis played viola). The fact that you guys bonded through sharing music is a testament to the special times I had with My Fam growing up.

Just now, I'm remembering Bert A. Blair, the man who first placed a cello in my hands, and whom we just lost 3 months ago. He was also my HS music director. He planned a weekend with My Fam wherein he escorted us to Oberlin for my entrance audition. When we were preparing for the drive home, My Pops (a stoic, macho assistant Chief of Police) placed his hand on Mr. Blair's shoulder and said: "Thank you- for helping my boy find his future."

This memory (and your recent experience with your fam) are prime examples of the power of The Arts... it draws upon our shared humanity to gain and exert its power. It brings people together. I've been blessed to have found a life with some of the most giving, wonderful people ever. I'm convinced that it's the music that makes them so.

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That looked like an ad lib, but I actually planned it out in detail. Just before we took the stage, I told the Maestro: "Your cue to interrupt me with the baton tap will be: "...and speaking of football..." That gave me the space to drop the joke in without worrying about being cut off. I did the ad lib in the voice/character of the narrator, who was always a bit stiff and proper. Here's the exact quote:

"Random thought time, if you'll allow me... It would seem that someone has managed to pull off the ultimate Halloween prank- by stealing surreptitiously into the Devils penthouse, and setting His thermostat for 31° Fahrenheit... because, ladies & gentlemen: the Cleveland Browns..." I thought of it about 2 weeks ago, and practiced it to sound as if it was off-the-cuff. Truth- it was totally scripted. At the time I conceived it, I was hoping for a CLE win against SEA and a BAL loss, so I could claim CLE was in first place. The laffs would have been even better. If you read my bio in the program, it actually mentions that I am a lifelong Browns fan.

When we played Carnegie Hall back in 2011, I popped off a deepazz "WOOF!" at the end of our dress rehearsal on Sat afternoon, before the big primetime festival performance. I'm a Dawg to the last, bro. I always represent for My Kennel. I'm so glad that enough people got the joke that there was laughter in every corner of the house. It was only then that I could actually relax and finish the piece.

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Breath control: There's a trick that stage actors use. They time their cadence to allow for a couple of short breaths at random times, so they can keep going. Dude- I did OK at timing my breaths, but pushed it a bit hard, and almost ran out of air a couple times. I was actually getting very light-headed when I screamed: "Dead composers litter the musical world- and all because of one man- and one little stick! ARREST HIM AT ONCE!!!"

*performer's note: It was hotter than blazes on that stage. And it still 'smelled like teen spirit' when we walked out to start the joint. Aside from the stage lighting, you can't imagine how much 80 extra pubescent chunks of 98.6 can spike the ambient temp. I was only halfway through my second address before I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead. By the time The Inspector was grilling the violas, my shirt was drenched.

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Nancy (our harpist) is gorgeous, and the quintessential glamourpuss (another orchestra stereotype/cliche), but Dawg... them fingers of hers is jacked-up, yo! Calloused beyond belief. And her hands are... muscular. That pretty lady can crunch a man's grip with one of those 'alpha male handshakes' anytime she wants. Hands like a ballerina's feet (which you never want to see, either!)

Jeffrey Biegel (piano soloist) is The Real Deal. He can make a piano get up on tiptoes and recite the Gettysburg Address. That piano piece he played with us was fluff for him. That encore he played (of Strauss' Blue Danube Waltz) was pure poetry. I hope we get him back to play something deep that we musogeeks love.

And there's a reason your son is now a fan of the tuba. Our Boy Dave is probably one of the top 50 Classical Tubists alive today. That solo he played "while taking sips of warm milk from a little blue cup" was like syrup- dripping down a stack a fresh pancakes. Dude blows magic every day. His personal sound is part of my life's daily soundtrack. How lucky am I to have that?

You were right to let your daughter form her own personal videography as she heard this wonderful music for the first time. Our internal movies are always better than the commercial ones. Always. Blessings on you- for giving her that space.



You totally get it. Trust your instincts, going forward. If you have any specific questions, my inbox is always open.



Glad we could help you more deeply experience Your Humanity, and experience/express it with your progeny.
You are now a part what all this is all about.


Welcome to The Club.

Wish I could have made it. Was it recorded? Is there a place others, I, can now hear this?
Any chance you’ll be in Baltimore over the next few weeks? I’m taking some art there to share with the world. Would love to share it with you... not just on Facebook.

The concert was indeed recorded.

It will air on our local NPR station (WGTE) at some later date. When I find out that date/time, I'll post it here in the thread. I'm not certain if they allow access to their archived performances, so you may need to listen at that exact time (Thursdays, 8PM-10PM).

I may be allowed to have a copy for my personal archives, as well. If so, I may try to park it temporarily at a cloud site where you can listen, but I'd be flirting with intellectual property troubles if anyone found out. Such an undertaking would have to be on the super DL, know what I mean?

I'll keep you (and other interested parties) posted.

Clem- I really wished I would have saw this post as I would have loved to have brought my daughter with me to see this as she is a Junior in High School and an aspiring musician and would have loved this.

It is pretty crazy as neither my wife or I have ever played an instrument and to see our daughter perform is really something special.

When she was 7 years old we told her we don't care what you do (soccer, cheer leading, etc) but we want you involved in an activity.

Luckily my daughter had an incredible music teacher at her school and she introduced the flute to my daughter and the rest is history and this lady made a huge impact on my daughter's life.

She is already starting to receive scholarship offers at colleges and has decided she wants to give back to younger students and be a music education major and continue to perform with Orchestra, concert band, marching band etc. in College. She then would like to become a music teacher when she graduates.

Please do let me know the next time you will be performing as I would love to bring her over to watch.

Ps. she is a big Browns fan too so I did something right

'sup, Dawg?

Your daughter is fortunate to have found music. It has profoundly enhanced my life in ways too numerous to list. When I was leaving HS, I was torn between MusEd and MusPerf. Started my schooling to be a teacher, and switched to perf. Both are demanding paths, both are rewarding as can be.

You can find our performance schedule here. Browse the schedule. If you see something you like, PM me. I'll give you the 411 so you can go through your "pre-snap reads."

I don't think I have any more solo joints coming up this year, but that shouldn't be a deterrent. This bunch puts on crazy good shows all the time, be it Classical, Pops, Holiday shows or special events Last spring, we did the entire John Williams soundtrack to Star Wars ep. 4 at the Huntington Center with the movie playing on the jumbotron overhard. Imagine: the home of the Walleye packed to the rafters with sheering fans, while lightsabers flashed above our heads. Crazy fun.

We pretty much have something for everyone, so I'm sure you'll find something you like. We also hit the road after Thanksgiving, and play holiday concerts is at least a dozen towns in NW Ohio. Check the schedule for that, as well.... we may be coming to your town or one nearby.

Thanks Clem! I will definitely check the schedule for sure and make sure to bring her to one of the performances.

Music has made a huge impact on her life for sure and I am so proud of her.

Hoping to get to see one of the performances before the holidays of your group and maybe even get to meet you sometime and introduce my daughter to you.

**BUMP**

I just received word that the performance will air Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020 at 8PM.

WGTE Radio

It will be streamed at that time.

*BUMP²*

So... I dropped the ball on posting a reminder about the broadcast/stream of the October performance. It was last night at 8PM. Life intrudes, you know? So if I forgot, I'm pretty sure none of you marked your calendars, either. Luckily, the station manager is a friend, and hooked me up with a dropbox link that you hounds can access.

If you have a curiosity and a half hour to spare, click below. You will get an education about the construction of a symphony orchestra, hear some really great music, and get a laugh or two.

This is where it happens:

The Composer Is Dead

Dude. That was amazing - great job! Don't know how the heck you managed to keep all the voices straight, let alone the seamless transitions between characters and narrator. So good I'll listen to it again!

BTW... Loved the Browns reference.

Clem, that was terrific and humorous as well.

Very enjoyable to listen to and your talent was appreciated.

"The Cleveland Browns are in 2nd place in the AFC North!"

Just started it and am loving it.

Thanks, Clem!

Very clever, and well done.

That was great. Well done my friend. Bravo.

That was great! I second what Fate wrote....how in the heck did you keep those voices straight?

It really wasn't that biguvadeal, JFan.

Only 2 voices persist throughout the entire piece: The Narrator and The Inspector. They are different enough that I can keep them separate and distinct. The other voices (individual instruments) come and go in short order- and are never heard from again.

'The Narrator' is my normal speaking voice, dropped down a bit in pitch. I open my throat, send more air through the larynx, and allow the sound to resonate in my chest before it hits the mic. For the Inspector, I close down my throat to get a reedier, more Don Adams (Max Smart/Tennessee Tuxedo) kind of sound, and raise the pitch center about the same amount as I lowered it for the Narrator.

For the other voices, I tried to turn each instrument's sound/cliched stereotype in to a vocal equivalent. I used a lot of different glottal pinches/expansions to mimic their sounds.

Violins were effete Poindexters.
Violas were nasally 'Droopy The Dog' types.
Oboes were pinched, nasally high-pitched whiners
Trumpets are great: you simply place the sound at the front of your face, and yell as loud as you can.....

You get the picture.

btw: The 'cellos and basses' were my natural, unaffected voice. It's the voice you heard when we hooked up at the Clay Xmas concert a few years ago. It's the voice you'd hear if we hung out at a tailgate. Just my little way of Representing it Real for My Posse, know what I'm sayin?

And keep in mind: I lived with this project for 6 months. Every day, I was working on the voices, timing, facial expressions, etc. By the time we dropped the concerts, I was almost guilty of being over-prepared

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I just got word thru the grapevine that the DET Symph Orch is planning this piece, and is considering me for the joint. I guess it's time to find an agent/rep house. I never needed one before, as I only worked in-house as a side hustle.

Who knows? Maybe I'll use this as a second career after my box scratchin' days are behind me.

Dare to dream, eh?


Get paid to act an ass onstage and read books for Audible.com as an old man? What's no to love, bro?

That's great news. Time to give Drew Rosenhaus a call, eh?

As a former drummer, I particularly enjoyed the percussions.

The "Party Animals" of the orchestra, no doubt.

Just listened to it. He did a good job.

Very cool!