Boy, do I hate shopping with my wife. I can relate to this.

I never understood why malls didn’t have sports bars in them. Even places like Target could set up a TV in the corner with one beer on tap and do good business.

I hate shopping. I do as little of it as possible. (Outside of grocery shopping which I do multiple times a week.) I take my work clothes off after work, hang them back up, and wear them as often as I can between washings to extend their lives. It’s not as though I’m doing manual labor that builds a sweat. I’m not doing hands on skilled level nursing so I don’t get dirty in that way either. (...mostly) Socks and tshirts/undershirts are about all I ever buy anymore.
Generally I’m not much of a consumer. I believe in buying quality stuff once. Not cheap stuff you have to replace. I have what I need now to get through life. Unless a TV or such dies it won’t be replaced for the sake of replacing or upgrading. With that I haven’t been in a Target or Walmart or such in years and years.

Hilarious!!!!

thank you for this.
I think I may have broken a rib watching this.

I'm glad my wife is not a Target fiend. We just watched this and she said "sometimes, you take longer than me in stores." She's accurate as I'll wander around Barnes and Noble for an hour without even deciding on a book...or I accidentally find myself in a camera store.

Man, just take my ass to the 7 dollar store in the mall and I'm happy. That is my favorite store. Cheap ass clothes from China in a store with no dressing room. Buy it, and if it don't fit then you sol. Totally gambling.

The best stuff doesn't come from Target or Malls anyways.
Looking at 105 buck custom ordered Vans shoes from online because they don't have what I want at the mall.
Give me my leopard print Vans right now. Now! Oh? I gotta wait while you make it? Ok. Just hurry up.

My wife hates shopping and I keep her away from stores out of my fear that she will kill somebody in the store (picture road rage on steroids when somebody is in her way, not moving fast enough, moving to fast, blocking the isle with a cart)

I on the other hand do all of our shopping

Your wife would kill my wife. Mine doesn't go shopping to buy what she needs, she goes for the experience of shopping...and savors every moment.

See I am saving your wife and mine

My wife's a shopper, she goes to look at everything. I'm a hunter, I go to find the prey and bag it. For me to go shopping with her, she has to be able to describe what she wants to take home, if she can do that I can go find it and bag it. Which is why my shopping these days is limited to grocery stores.

About 15 or so years ago, I told the girl I was dating that I was going to the mall to buy some pants. I asked her if she wanted to go with me, and she lit up like the national Christmas tree, and almost yelled "Yes!".

She went from delighted to horrified when I walked into Penny's ... and bought a couple of pairs of pants.

She was like ...."You can't do that! You have to go to all of the stores, and see what they all have. You have to compare the prices. You can't just walk into a mall store and ... (almost gasping for air here) just buy something!!!!!"

I laughed.

We broke up shortly thereafter.

It was the last time I ever asked a girl to go to the mall with me.

Mine too. Took me a long time to figure that out, probably longer than it should have. My wife views going shopping the same way I view going golfing.. it's hours of fun whether you do well or not.

I go with her sometimes and this is a typical conversation:

Wife: *picks up an item off the display* We could use this.

Me: So get it.

Wife: Nah, I'll get it some other time.

Me: But you are standing here, holding it in your hand, right now. Get it.

Wife: Nah, I'll come back later.

Me: That's a stupid waste of time, just get it now.

Wife: *evil stare as she puts it back and we move on*

I had to learn that each shopping trip is, in part, about setting up the next shopping trip. I swear she buys stuff sometimes just so she can return it a week later and give her a reason to go back out.

I call this ‘cyclical shopping’. My exwife use to do it. Drove me crazy. She’d come home with a bunch of clothing that she hadn’t tried on while at the store. Try it on. Then return half or more of it... and then buy more on that trip too. Rinse repeat. I asked her why she didn’t just try them on at the store... “the lighting is bad’”, or “I wanted to try the pants on with a particular blouse I own”... seemed like a massive waste of time. I stopped asking or arguing.
When I do shop I’m similar to other posters. If I need a pair of jeans I walk directly to the jeans. Find the size I need. Pay. Leave. No side shopping. No wandering the isles.

When I need a pair of jeans, I have my wife grab them when she's out shopping.

Everyone wins.

Me too.. Drives my wife crazy.

I'm like that too. That's called Type A.

My wife loves to shop and I always go with her as I enjoy riding in the cart.

There are 2 stores I will go in and browse as I look for something.. the hardware store and the golf shop.

Geez why waste your time at two things you suck at

I was always a laser beamer when it came to shopping. Actually, I was almost never a "shopper"; I was a buyer. If I went to a store it was because I knew what I wanted and where it was. The only stores I ever "browsed" were book stores and record stores. My wife Debbie, on the other hand, browsed everything - the fashion jewelry kiosks, womens clothes, and her weakness, shoes. That's why they put bars at the entrances to shopping malls. She'd continue shopping and I'd have a cold one at TGI Fridays while people-watching at the bar. Eventually, she'd appear, happy with her "finds", and we'd have a beer while she showed me what she bought. Good times.

The second I bought my first house, I started browsing at Home Depot/hardware stores. It was totally a subconcious thing, as I'm usually very anti-shopping. I honestly have no idea the mechanism behind how that switch flipped in my brain, but it did. I could spend hours in Home Depot and not realize it.

That was great.

I despise shopping and shopping with my wife in particular with every ounce of my being.

The part where he said he just started putting shopping carts back because he was bored was my favorite.

I am like others here, go in, get what I was after, pay and leave.

Now Lowe's and Home Depot are different, but mainly because I have a running list in my head of things that need done or that I want to do, and often am working toward estimating costs and ideas of how to accomplish said tasks, whether they are current projects or far in the future projects, always re-designing.

That and sometimes you stumble on something in there that could solve and issue you didn't really consider.

For instance, our master bath door always swung itself 1/4 closed, I adjusted the hinges, tried adjusting the jamb, everything was plumb. I stumble on a small magnetic door stop for $5, solved the problem.

As far as shopping with the wife, luckily, she doesn't ask me to go often, but when she does she specifically picks shopping center that have restaurants with bars. And she'll shop, stop by for a drink and lunch, shop more, then come pick me up.

I get to sit, have a cold one, chat with the other guys waiting on their wives, watch some sports, chat with the bartender, etc.

On rare occasional she will call and ask me to meet her at some store to look at something. But typically she will plan to re-visit the store for the meet after she's done shopping.