Should the Browns go for 2 on every touchdown they get in the first half of games, especially if the defense looks gassed.

No! First half -- all Field Goals -- just to keep the defense guessing!

If our knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?

Stools?

I always am nervous when we decide to voluntarily go for 2 early on, but it’s worked out thus far

We need some of our going-for-2 mojo to transfer to 4th downs.

Well if the 4th down is inside the opponents 20, and it's not near the end of the game,
then just take the 3 points on a 36 or less yards field goal, and don't give the opponents defense any chance on a momentum shifting stop. I'm sure there is an analytic for that.
There also is the rewarding your team with the 3 points for getting the ball to that position of the field in the first place!

Lol great point

I agree, but until our kicker misses, which he hasn't yet this year on a FG or an XP, I would extend that back to the 30.. anything under a 50 yard FG, we need to take the points until such time as our kicker starts to be less reliable. I would draw a distinction though where I would consider going for it on 3rd and 1 or 3rd and 1/2 a yard.. but this going for it on 3rd and 3 or 3rd and 4 when you don't need to has to stop.

The kicker can't miss if he never gets to kick it..... BUT, even if it's 3rd and 14, you should still go for it.