Whether you agree with my thoughts or not I just wanted to thank all of you who took the time to participate in this thread. However you decide to raise your kids I wish you great success and happiness. God Bless you for being a parent who cares =)
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
And I get that real life is not like internet games. But the psychology is still the same.
You can punish a kid without physical violence. And have the punishment change their behavior.
If you can't figure out how to do that, without beating your kid, then you shouldn't be a parent.
The End.
Its not the end. I have three older brothers. Each of us reacted differently to types of discipline. Myself, I only had to be spanked once. The mere threat of it was all I needed to see afterwards. My brother, they would never spank. Did nothing to him. He would laugh while my father tried to spank him. Put him in his room for 30 min, that was the worst punishment you could do to him. He would beg for a butt whooping instead of that. Me, put me in my room - I would play with my toys, take a nap, enjoy a break.
It all depends on the child, and how they react to discipline. I believe ALL forms of punishment will and can work, it just depends on your child.
My son is going to be 3. I have only ever given him a tap on the tush once in his life so far. All I have to say to him now when he is being bad, " do you want to go outside?" (when I did we were at a restaurant and took him outside and gave him a tap on the diaper). As soon as I say then he says "no, dada." Then I say "what do you say?" He will reply "bye bye tears" and wipe them away (if hes crying of course).
All options are and should be left on the table for each child, and how each child reacts. That's the end of story.
There is nothing wrong with it. A spanking is not a beating. People typically against spanking and call it beating have never raised children for one, and have no idea what it is like daily. Spankings in my house ( I have only had to give my son 1x so far), are reserved like you said for OVER THE LINE actions. In my son's case, he tried to hit grandma at breakfast. He was taken outside, I explained why he was getting a spank before and after. At 3, he understood, and still does. He has never tried it again, and when I say "do you wanna go outside and get a spank?" he instantly stops any bad behavior.
This is a very personal thing ... i’m with u ... spanking is not beating ...
I was like your brother as a kid ... i would take a whoopin on my butt for 5 straight minutes as opposed to be in my room for a half hour ... I HATED being in my room ... didn’t like the butt whoopin much either but it was way less evil than sitting in my room ...
When I was growing up I had this friend who's Dad would beat him and his 2 brothers with a leather whip that had leather balls on the end of its many arms.
Once they became teenagers, two of the brothers pinned Dad to the basement wall while the other ripped the whip from his hand and threw it into the blazing coal furnace.
When I was growing up I had this friend who's Dad would beat him and his 2 brothers with a leather whip that had leather balls on the end of its many arms.
Once they became teenagers, two of the brothers pinned Dad to the basement wall while the other ripped the whip from his hand and threw it into the blazing coal furnace.
No more.
Two things about this post.
First, having a special whip described above in this post is psychopathic (demented),
The second part - having a final stand-off against dad - being old enough to let dad know he's not "in-charge" anymore - was fairly common. I've heard this story more than once before.
I don't agree with it.
I think spankings should naturally stop at a very young age. (like ~ 6 years old - by then verbal warnings should be more than enough)
Two additional things:
1) I think it's definitely OK to be "mad" while spanking. It would be kind of weird to give a calm, cool spanking.
Yeah, that's weird, and
2) Spankings at a young age can be terrifying without being injurious.
There is almost never a reason to hit a child. The only thing I could ever see myself hitting a child for is blatant, willful and disrespectful insubordination.
Google studies on hitting children and you won’t find any positive studies on hitting your kids.
There is almost never a reason to hit a child. The only thing I could ever see myself hitting a child for is blatant, willful and disrespectful insubordination.
Google studies on hitting children and you won’t find any positive studies on hitting your kids.
Don't need Google, look at how kids act today compared to how they acted in the past, and that's all you need to know.
There is a difference between spanking and hitting, BTW. No one on here is calling for hitting children.
To each their own. Deal....We won't berate you for beating/whipping/spanking (whatever you call it) your kids. And you won't berate others who find more effective and more positive ways to discipline their children, thank you.
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
There is almost never a reason to hit a child. The only thing I could ever see myself hitting a child for is blatant, willful and disrespectful insubordination.
Google studies on hitting children and you won’t find any positive studies on hitting your kids.
Don't need Google, look at how kids act today compared to how they acted in the past, and that's all you need to know.
There is a difference between spanking and hitting, BTW. No one on here is calling for hitting children.
It is my belief that the correlation of single parent homes has a much bigger impact on the things you are saying than not hitting children.
There is almost never a reason to hit a child. The only thing I could ever see myself hitting a child for is blatant, willful and disrespectful insubordination.
Google studies on hitting children and you won’t find any positive studies on hitting your kids.
Don't need Google, look at how kids act today compared to how they acted in the past, and that's all you need to know.
There is a difference between spanking and hitting, BTW. No one on here is calling for hitting children.
It is my belief that the correlation of single parent homes has a much bigger impact on the things you are saying than not hitting children.
I believe that to be true as well, yes. There are many factors, fear of discipline in my belief is one of the biggest as well.
I am not saying spankings is the end all be all of that problem - or the singular result. But I certainly believe it has direct correlation.
Hey, I stated before, the types of discipline depend on the child. Some children never need a spanking, some need a few. If you are against spanking child, more power to you - raise your children as you see fit. Just don't try to tell me how to raise mine (im not saying YOU are, just in general.)
Its not the end. I have three older brothers. Each of us reacted differently to types of discipline. Myself, I only had to be spanked once. The mere threat of it was all I needed to see afterwards. My brother, they would never spank. Did nothing to him. He would laugh while my father tried to spank him. Put him in his room for 30 min, that was the worst punishment you could do to him. He would beg for a butt whooping instead of that. Me, put me in my room - I would play with my toys, take a nap, enjoy a break.
It all depends on the child, and how they react to discipline. I believe ALL forms of punishment will and can work, it just depends on your child.
Thank you for making this point.. children respond differently. My friend has a daughter, she loves to read and is a bit of a loner... he punishes her by putting her in her room.. that's where she spends 80% of her time anyway, reading and listening to music.. it's a totally ineffective punishment.
I think my father spanked me twice as a kid.... it wasn't the pain of being spanked that worked, it was that I knew I deserved it and I genuinely believe it hurt my father more to do it than it hurt me.... the most effective punishment for me was the extremely disappointed look I would get from my parents (especially my mother)... if I misbehaved bad enough, she would give me this look, and I knew how disappointed she was in me.. and it made me feel like a total schmuck... to the point that I would think about that look before I did bad things and usually it was enough to stop me.
Not every kid responds to that.. the key to being a good parent is not a formula, it's knowing what makes each kid tick and responding accordingly.
And I get that real life is not like internet games. But the psychology is still the same.
You can punish a kid without physical violence. And have the punishment change their behavior.
If you can't figure out how to do that, without beating your kid, then you shouldn't be a parent.
The End.
Its not the end. I have three older brothers. Each of us reacted differently to types of discipline. Myself, I only had to be spanked once. The mere threat of it was all I needed to see afterwards. My brother, they would never spank. Did nothing to him. He would laugh while my father tried to spank him. Put him in his room for 30 min, that was the worst punishment you could do to him. He would beg for a butt whooping instead of that. Me, put me in my room - I would play with my toys, take a nap, enjoy a break.
It all depends on the child, and how they react to discipline. I believe ALL forms of punishment will and can work, it just depends on your child.
My son is going to be 3. I have only ever given him a tap on the tush once in his life so far. All I have to say to him now when he is being bad, " do you want to go outside?" (when I did we were at a restaurant and took him outside and gave him a tap on the diaper). As soon as I say then he says "no, dada." Then I say "what do you say?" He will reply "bye bye tears" and wipe them away (if hes crying of course).
All options are and should be left on the table for each child, and how each child reacts. That's the end of story.
Well said mate. Well said. I agree 100%.
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
When I was growing up I had this friend who's Dad would beat him and his 2 brothers with a leather whip that had leather balls on the end of its many arms.
Once they became teenagers, two of the brothers pinned Dad to the basement wall while the other ripped the whip from his hand and threw it into the blazing coal furnace.
No more.
That's clearly child abuse.
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
You think hitting someone is going to teach them not to hit someone?
Oh, I can say it works quite well. When a kid understands that when he hits an Elder that dad is going to tear him a new one then yes he will think long and hard about it.
I can give you a personal example. My little brother at 10 years old decided he was strong enough he could just choke our mother because Dad was working out on the water. I am 8 and a 1/2 years older than him. I slapped him hard in the face and drug his little arse out to the garage and beat his arse with a paddle. For the rest of Mom's life he never lifted a hand against her again. He understood if he ever laid hands on a woman again the men in our family would descend like a hurricane.
My father always made it crystal clear that anyone touches mom then they are doomed when he gets home. I think he made it clear to my bro that my giving him a whooping saved his life. I was never quite clear if he meant that or not but my father who was no angel especially when drunk has never hit a woman. He made it VERY clear that his kids would never hit one either. It's a matter of family honor.
My brother turned out great btw and we have a very close relationship. That was the last time we ever had issues of those kind and he is very loving towards family members. I'm very proud of him.
So yes, it can work VERY well.
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
When I was growing up I had this friend who's Dad would beat him and his 2 brothers with a leather whip that had leather balls on the end of its many arms.
Once they became teenagers, two of the brothers pinned Dad to the basement wall while the other ripped the whip from his hand and threw it into the blazing coal furnace.
No more.
That's clearly child abuse.
I don't think there was such a thing as child abuse back in the 60's.
Its not the end. I have three older brothers. Each of us reacted differently to types of discipline. Myself, I only had to be spanked once. The mere threat of it was all I needed to see afterwards. My brother, they would never spank. Did nothing to him. He would laugh while my father tried to spank him. Put him in his room for 30 min, that was the worst punishment you could do to him. He would beg for a butt whooping instead of that. Me, put me in my room - I would play with my toys, take a nap, enjoy a break.
It all depends on the child, and how they react to discipline. I believe ALL forms of punishment will and can work, it just depends on your child.
Thank you for making this point.. children respond differently. My friend has a daughter, she loves to read and is a bit of a loner... he punishes her by putting her in her room.. that's where she spends 80% of her time anyway, reading and listening to music.. it's a totally ineffective punishment.
I think my father spanked me twice as a kid.... it wasn't the pain of being spanked that worked, it was that I knew I deserved it and I genuinely believe it hurt my father more to do it than it hurt me.... the most effective punishment for me was the extremely disappointed look I would get from my parents (especially my mother)... if I misbehaved bad enough, she would give me this look, and I knew how disappointed she was in me.. and it made me feel like a total schmuck... to the point that I would think about that look before I did bad things and usually it was enough to stop me.
Not every kid responds to that.. the key to being a good parent is not a formula, it's knowing what makes each kid tick and responding accordingly.
Making a child sit in the corner or stand in the corner is also a very effective punishment. Way better than spending the day in your room. My mother used it on me and it drove me bananas worse than her weak attempts to spank me. The right tools for the right job. Positive and negative reinforcement are all needed in raising a child. I am a firm believer that if a child fears the wrath of their father it will save them from making a lot of bad decisions but that we all need our mothers to come to for comfort. I think that losing that balance is why kids in single parent homes have it so tough. It's hard for one parent to be everything to a kid. Some manage to do it well but most have a very hard time at it.
We can all just do our best. At least if your trying in your own way your at least better than parents who give up and don't care anymore.
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
When I was growing up I had this friend who's Dad would beat him and his 2 brothers with a leather whip that had leather balls on the end of its many arms.
Once they became teenagers, two of the brothers pinned Dad to the basement wall while the other ripped the whip from his hand and threw it into the blazing coal furnace.
No more.
That's clearly child abuse.
I don't think there was such a thing as child abuse back in the 60's.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son while there is hope; don’t be intent on killing him.
It was child abuse even thousands of years ago. I get what your saying though. It's why we made some new laws to ensure things like that don't happen.
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
You think hitting someone is going to teach them not to hit someone?
I think it a maltitude of things, as stated before. This child obviously has no respect for either the grandma or mother ( I am assuming that is the mother in the video sitting across). As others have stated, if you actually are a parent, your child will respect you and know when you mean business and know the boundaries you have set.
My experience (as I stated before) my son swiped at my mother once. He was taken outside, talked to, and given a light spank. He has never since attempted it again, and all I have to do now is ask him if he wants to go outside when he is acting up and straightens right away. He's 3. So yes, I do believe that in some cases. This case of this boy, I would certainly start there.
Its not the end. I have three older brothers. Each of us reacted differently to types of discipline. Myself, I only had to be spanked once. The mere threat of it was all I needed to see afterwards. My brother, they would never spank. Did nothing to him. He would laugh while my father tried to spank him. Put him in his room for 30 min, that was the worst punishment you could do to him. He would beg for a butt whooping instead of that. Me, put me in my room - I would play with my toys, take a nap, enjoy a break.
It all depends on the child, and how they react to discipline. I believe ALL forms of punishment will and can work, it just depends on your child.
Thank you for making this point.. children respond differently. My friend has a daughter, she loves to read and is a bit of a loner... he punishes her by putting her in her room.. that's where she spends 80% of her time anyway, reading and listening to music.. it's a totally ineffective punishment.
I think my father spanked me twice as a kid.... it wasn't the pain of being spanked that worked, it was that I knew I deserved it and I genuinely believe it hurt my father more to do it than it hurt me.... the most effective punishment for me was the extremely disappointed look I would get from my parents (especially my mother)... if I misbehaved bad enough, she would give me this look, and I knew how disappointed she was in me.. and it made me feel like a total schmuck... to the point that I would think about that look before I did bad things and usually it was enough to stop me.
Not every kid responds to that.. the key to being a good parent is not a formula, it's knowing what makes each kid tick and responding accordingly.
Making a child sit in the corner or stand in the corner is also a very effective punishment. Way better than spending the day in your room. My mother used it on me and it drove me bananas worse than her weak attempts to spank me. The right tools for the right job. Positive and negative reinforcement are all needed in raising a child. I am a firm believer that if a child fears the wrath of their father it will save them from making a lot of bad decisions but that we all need our mothers to come to for comfort. I think that losing that balance is why kids in single parent homes have it so tough. It's hard for one parent to be everything to a kid. Some manage to do it well but most have a very hard time at it.
We can all just do our best. At least if your trying in your own way your at least better than parents who give up and don't care anymore.
Thank you for the kind words. Like is said I believe it all depends the kid - not the parent and their beliefs. I believe in spanking, as do my brothers (we all got spanked) however my nephew Johnny - a spanking would be the worst thing in the world to him. He could care less about getting spanked. Hes even said "ill take 30 seconds of pain over 30 min in my room". My nephew Riley, a spanking once was all my other brother ever had to do. My brother uses each punishment accordingly to each child.
My son, we tried timeouts for the longest time. He would act up, we would put him in time out. he would act up again. After his first spanking, if he EVEN acts up - all I have to do mention it, and he will straighten up rather quickly. If a spanking is done correctly, you only need to ever ACTUALLY spank once or twice. The mere threat of it is usually enough to garner them to turn a tantrum around.
If you want to discipline a kid without hitting them, just take their electronics away from them.
I agree. I've used that many times myself. Forcing a kid to be bored can be a terrifying punishment to be sure. You can't just rely on that though because kids can get used to anything. You have to mix things up a bit. Eventually you get to a point when a kid has has everything taken away and they are still determined to rebel and be disobedient because after all they have nothing left to lose now.
At the end of the day when things get seriously bad the kid has to fear punishment for punishment to work. Spankings are most effective when they are not overused. You save them for those things they absolutely must never do or when they need a severe attitude adjustment. You always give them a warning so they know it's coming if they continue. Then you quickly forgive them and let them earn their stuff back. Positive reinforcement that comes after negative reinforcement is a powerful effect.
I have always hated spanking my children. I probably cry more than they do. I can fully understand that you don't like the idea of it. I'm a very strong person so I have to be very, very careful how much force I use. It use to terrify me that I might smack them too hard. I do it when it's needed though because it sets firm boundaries that keep them out of trouble. Other believe in spankings and just don't know how to do it properly to avoid being abusive. Some parents are just monsters that enjoy dominating their kids and have no problems at all abusing them. Those ones need to go to jail.
My only thought is to help those who believe in spankings but are not sure HOW or HOW MUCH. If it helps one parent from becoming abusive even by accident then I have completed my purpose for this thread.
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
You think hitting someone is going to teach them not to hit someone?
If done appropriately, yes. When my son was about 11, he pushed this kid (probably 7 or 8) around and took whatever it was he was playing with.. roughed him up pretty good.
Other kid went to his dad who came to me. I made sure the kid got his stuff back then dealt with my son.. That involved a nice discussion about using force to get what you want.. and that no matter how big and tough you are, there will always be somebody bigger and tougher than you, so if you are going to take stuff that way, don't come crying to me when the next bigger guy takes it from you the same way... then a quick couple swats on the arse just to prove I'm bigger than him and if those are the rules, then I'll play by his rules... then made him go up and give a full apology to other kid and his father.
Never happened again. Could I have handled it a different way and achieved similar results? Maybe.. but it worked.
I think we all want what's best for you children. We all have varying opinions on disciplining - all within reason. Parenting is the most wonderful thing I have ever had the pleasure of doing. Everyday though is a fine line of wearing many hats. I want to be my son's parent first and foremost, friend second. I am want to be his confidant, his rock, and his guide/compass when he comes to passes and crossroads in his life. I believe that the rules and guidelines I set now will allow him to think back when he comes to those crossroads and make the right decision. I know to this day, anytime I have a hard decision to make or was presented with a choice - I always thought about how my father would react or think of me with each decision. I still do. And that usually leads with the words "dad will beat my rear end if I do that." I can say with certainty, I am a 240 lbs grown man still afraid to get a spank from 63 year old 150 pound old man lol.
I think we all want what's best for you children. We all have varying opinions on disciplining - all within reason. Parenting is the most wonderful thing I have ever had the pleasure of doing. Everyday though is a fine line of wearing many hats. I want to be my son's parent first and foremost, friend second. I am want to be his confidant, his rock, and his guide/compass when he comes to passes and crossroads in his life. I believe that the rules and guidelines I set now will allow him to think back when he comes to those crossroads and make the right decision. I know to this day, anytime I have a hard decision to make or was presented with a choice - I always thought about how my father would react or think of me with each decision. I still do. And that usually leads with the words "dad will beat my rear end if I do that." I can say with certainty, I am a 240 lbs grown man still afraid to get a spank from 63 year old 150 pound old man lol.
LOL same here man although I am more NFL size but I still fear my father as a good son should =)
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
Aways nailing the Catholics which I am one .SCREW you pal why don't you have problem with muslim mercy killings or is that acceptable to you and your boys here.
I always thought about how my father would react or think of me with each decision. I still do. And that usually leads with the words "dad will beat my rear end if I do that." I can say with certainty, I am a 240 lbs grown man still afraid to get a spank from 63 year old 150 pound old man lol.
I'm 52, both my mother and father have been dead for nearly 30 years.. and when I screw up, one of the first things that crosses my mind is how disappointed in me they would be...
Like you say, good parenting just follows you around no matter where you go or what the circumstances are.. it's just always with you.
I always thought about how my father would react or think of me with each decision. I still do. And that usually leads with the words "dad will beat my rear end if I do that." I can say with certainty, I am a 240 lbs grown man still afraid to get a spank from 63 year old 150 pound old man lol.
I'm 52, both my mother and father have been dead for nearly 30 years.. and when I screw up, one of the first things that crosses my mind is how disappointed in me they would be...
Like you say, good parenting just follows you around no matter where you go or what the circumstances are.. it's just always with you.
I am sorry your losses, especially at such an young age. I couldn't even imagine going through that in my early 20's. Heck, I cant even imagine going through that now. My father truly is my best friend (he was co-best man at my wedding). But he wasn't my best friend until I was 18
Whether you agree with my thoughts or not I just wanted to thank all of you who took the time to participate in this thread. However you decide to raise your kids I wish you great success and happiness. God Bless you for being a parent who cares =)
Just wanted to say I like your post(s) & your obviously very knowledgeable about the Bible.
To each their own. Deal....We won't berate you for beating/whipping/spanking (whatever you call it) your kids. And you won't berate others who find more effective and more positive ways to discipline their children, thank you.
Here is the problem YOU and everybody else has never found a more effective way to discipline children.
Whether you agree with my thoughts or not I just wanted to thank all of you who took the time to participate in this thread. However you decide to raise your kids I wish you great success and happiness. God Bless you for being a parent who cares =)
Just wanted to say I like your post(s) & your obviously very knowledgeable about the Bible.
Thanks! I appreciate the kind words =)
You can't fix stupid but you can destroy ignorance. When you destroy ignorance you remove the justifications for evil. If you want to destroy evil then educate our people. Hate is a tool of the stupid to deal with what they can't understand.
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