DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Something you don't see everyday: Wyatt Teller

WHOA

j/c:

I bet he was the one who bit that chunk off it's tail.

No doubt that guy is a real beast

Between this and alien sightings it's starting to look like this may be a loooong off season.

That is... not small.

I figure he is working out and that is his workout gator aide.

Is he carrying an alligator while wearing crocs?

Some guys have to have contract riders to keep them off motorcycles, or from sky diving, etc. I doubt this is listed as something he’s not allowed to do in the off-season. Who’d think to write it in?!

To be fair, he first shot it in the head and then picked it up. It’s not like he’s going full Steve Irwin.

I didn't think that needed to be said. The gator is dead.

Who was our one player, Samoan I think, that used to pig hunt with spears?

Tim Manoa?

I think it was either LB David Veikune or LB Kaluka Maiava.

Maiava, I think?

Yeah, it was Maiava.

https://www.cleveland.com/browns/2009/05/browns_rookie_linebacker_kaluk.html

Edit: Maiava played LB for USC with Clay Matthews III, Brian Cushing, and Rey Maualuga. It figures that instead of Larry, Curly, and Moe, we ended up with Shemp.

Yup.

would make some nice boots

Will make....good eating too.

eh, mediocre eating. Gator is decent, but I'd far prefer just chicken.

Chicken is good eating too.

You do get more meat from the gator tail, but then it is easier to kill a chicken, and if you screw up, I don't know of any case where a person has been killed by a chicken, so eating chicken has advantages.

and if you overcook chicken by 82 seconds, it doesn't turn rubbery like gator, too.

Pretty much the same flavor and texture, and way easier to work with from field to table, lol!

But you miss out on the:

You didn't read my article?
I've never heard of a gator taking a blade to a man.

Fortunately, most people are wise enough not to arm their chickens. Though, I may have just given myself fuel for a chicken army nightmare. Forget zombie apocalypse. It's the unstoppable chicken horde that we really need to worry about.

...yeah, my brain's weird.

Haha Kaluka Maiava is a name I totally forgot about

I was about to mention the open thread about a person who died from a rooster fight, to refute the nobody's died from a chicken, but, let's address the chicken army.

The chicken army. Think of: chickens you've seen in a group in a yard, outside a farm house somewhere,

1. they don't exactly move with purpose, except maybe to fight each other over some unseen territory that pops up unforeseen after they've intermingled for an hour.

2. they are easily distracted by grain type food, I think
3. if you've ever seen this... they actually run the best, exhibit the most athleticism, after, (moment of silence), one second after their head gets cut off.

What if they were giant chickens, (no, you don't understand, not 900 ft. but 4000-ft tall chickens)

OK....fair enough.

Tell you what. You jump in the swamp water and take on a gator and I'll wander in to the chicken coop and take on a chicken.

May the best man win.

Make it 50 razor wielding chickens and we each get a revolver with hollow points and... you probably still don't have a deal.

It's more the mass production element than individual danger that I was thinking about. Something like 60 Billion chickens are reared for meat each year. Plus, a single hen can lay like 250 eggs a year. I mean if a militant wing of PETA started taking over chicken factories we could be in trouble.

In 1978, on Saturday Night Live, Steve Martin asked an equally provocative question: "What if Eleanor Roosevelt could fly?".

Spoken like a man who has experience being flogged and spurred by fighting cocks.

Only a dumbass or a highly trained serious badass would jump in the water to fight a gator. But I'd take safe in a boat with a gun and a gator on the line over walking into a chicken army of those.

Anyone who’d eat meat from a giant rodent is a hillbilly.

Superiority complex much?

Sometimes, yeah.