Alright, I need to vent a little here. Since I came to college in the fall of 2004, most of my friends have split up across ohio, but most of my closeknit group remain in my hometown. I see them whenever I visit home and occassionally they visit me here at OSU. However we have had one tradition every year since I came to school: Four of my best friends from home come to OSU and stay from Thursday thru Sunday of the Michigan week. Thursday we jump in the lake. Friday night we hit up the bars/keggers as need be, and on Saturday we do the gameday thing before they go home sunday (possibly staying to watch some football that day as well). Its a tradition we all agreed on, just like I go home for St. Patricks day to celebrate there with them.
However, this year one of our friends, who we shall call "Nate", is not coming. He doesn't worry about class because his are all online, he doesn't have to work, and there is no family event. It has to do with one person...his girlfriend. They have been dating since our senior year of high school. They live in the same town and see each other everyday. And by everyday I mean at least 6 hopurs of the day they are together. Anyways, it turns out that he won't be coming this weekend because on Friday night he will be going with his girlfriend to one of HER friends b-day parties. He doesn't even know her. So he has blown off this yearly tradtion to spend time with his group of male friends that get together maybe 5-6 times a year to hang with the person he sees everyday. And he won't come thursday because hes supposed to go shopping with his girlfriend friday morning or Saturday because the game is too early since he'll be out friday night.
Every man knows there is a code, and Nate you broke that: here is Dr. House to explain...
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
It's funny you bring this up....i'm having the same prb with one of my best friends...we are like brothers...and as of late he has been with this girl like every freaking day for the last 6 months...she transfered to OSU and has taken over his life...it's really quite pathetic...she comes out EVERYWHERE...gets pretty annoying...shes cool and all but it gets old when it's every single time...even if it's just guys hangin out..he would come out for a few then leave early with his gf...it makes me sick....i told him to jus cut off his balls and hand em to her
There is one thing you need to learn. It took me a long time.
Friends are friends, the good ones are around no matter what and some you just seem to lose touch. But one thing remains true. If you really love your significant other and want to spend the rest of your life with them then they are the most improtant friend in your life.
The "code" is for single guy's as an excuse for their taken friends to spend time with them.
I fell into the trap quite a while back and chose my friends over my girlfriend at the time who might have been the best thing that ever happened to me. Whom I also have a child with and was engaged.
You know where i'm at now? Single while those same friends have girlfriends that they spend most of their time with.
It's called growing up and getting your priorities straight.
It's tough as relationships become more than just casual dating and things get serious. My best buddy since we were 5 or something recently got married and while I am happy for him, since he got serious with his new wife, I don't see him much or anything anymore. We used to get together almost EVERY weekend and now if it's once every few MONTHS that's good.
As others have said, part of the growing up process. When you find that one, or think you have your life's priorities change real quick. I am one to talk as I am very much in love with my girlfriend, but certain friends I always try to make time for.
And if time is hard now, it will only get harder once kids and the whole family thing take over. It's exciting in one regard, but also hard for some of us that don't want things to change so quickly. Looking back, you wonder exactly where those 4, 5 or 6 years of college went. They can go by so incredibly quick it's not funny. I wish I could go back and tell myself when I was 18 to enjoy the next 4 years b/c once those are done, life changes all over the place. Some good, some not. Regardless, have fun. College is the only time where you have all that freedom and friends and girls EVERYWHERE. Big adjustment into the real world for me at least...
Trust me, these two are never going to get married, they are the couple that fights all the time, has broken up constantly and gets back together, and not to mention he is whipped, and I mean (sound of whip cracking). She literally controls every aspect of his life. He can't smoke anymore (which I'm happy about but not because his girlfriend made him do it), if he goes out with his friends he is called at least once an hour, she is trying to change him.
The first year it was just us guys. The 2nd year two of them brought their girlfriends (who were very cool by the way). Last year the same girls came back and "Nate's" girlfriend came too and it was a blast. Honestly we think she is just doing this to prove to us that she has control. I have a girlfriend as do two of my other friends coming. They are all invited. They understand that we are good friends who never see each other and this one time of year is our chance to get together and relive old times. They are fine with that. I am lucky enough to have a girlfriend who trusts me enough to be by myself with my other friends.
That being said hes been saying for months he can't wait to come down, then she pops the birthday on him 2 days ago and now he can't. Theres one thing in spending time with the one you love, theres another thing in being completely whipped. He, unfortunately has become the whipping boy. I guess it just frustrates me hes actually DITCHING his friends for something that we always do because his girlfriend said so.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Well that sheds a whole new light on things. It seems messed up but hey, what can you do. I can understand you being po'd at him but it's no reason to dis-own him or anything drastic like that. Just have a blast and make sure you tell him about how much fun it was. Over and over again.
You said they fight all the time and she controls him? Sounds like they are already married.
Quote: because the game is too early since he'll be out friday night.
The game is too early?!?!? I'm sorry... but my girlfriend will need to understand that you just leave me the hell alone on Michigan Sat... IMO it should be a national holiday...
Sorry to hear... I don't have any traditions for Michigan week except to blast my Dead Sclembeckers and music from TBDBITL. But that sounds kind of sad... glad to see his comitment to his woman, but come on now... this is Meeeechigan.
Hey man...did you not hear the school bell ring???? Recess is over.
It is time to realize that you must now put on your "big boy" clothes and leave the frat house mentality to the newest group of 17 year olds.
The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, .
This chick oughta realize the importance of this game, and allow him to go...
Case in point - one of shep's friends invited us to his house to watch the game (he lives in Ohio, I live in PA...2 hour drive)...I decided that I didn't really want to go, because first off, I'm not really much into college ball, and secondly I had no interest in sitting there for hours listening to the game turned up to the maximum volume while a bunch of guys screamed obscenities to the point of hoarseness.
Since the season started, he and I had previously watched all of the OSU games here at my house...I told him to stay home this weekend so that he can watch the game at his buddies house. I realize not only the importance of this game to Buckeye fans, but the whole "guy-bonding" aspect of it (this is also a friend of his that he hasn't spent that much time with because he's here with me every weekend).
This isn't a maturity issue at all....it has to do with the fact that this guy really is whipped, and his girlfriend seems to be rather selfish, unless there is a part of this story that I'm totally missing.
Quote: This isn't a maturity issue at all....it has to do with the fact that this guy really is whipped, and his girlfriend seems to be rather selfish, unless there is a part of this story that I'm totally missing.
Nope, that pretty much hit the nail on the head...unfortunately
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Quote: It's called life. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the better off you'll be.
BINGO....Welcome to life....it happens to everybody.....what really stinks is when your kids get old enough an wanna spend time with thier friends or girlfriends instead of going out deer hunting with thier father....Yep my life...I do know he will come around one of these days after the P.Whipped is worn off,.....We are going out for youth hunt this saturday, he's 17 so this is the last youth hunt we can go on, it happens, and as parents all we can make them do is feel really, really gilty about not going.....
Quote: It's called life. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the better off you'll be.
It's called messed up is what it is. Being stuck up each others behind isn't healthy, even the best relationships need occasional breaks. Best friend doesn't mean only friend. Most people are very jealous of the relationship the wife and I have. We love each others company, because we can occasionally spend time away from each other.
I feel you, I think its really a bummer when friends fade. Whether this guy is fading or not is something you'll have to decide, but, I'm at my 3rd college now, and I just continually seem to talk to the people i went to school with and became, what i thought was very good, friends with people, just fade away and you lose touch.
It really bugs me, because I thought we were good friends, but, ya know, when you arent spending a lot of time together, that closeness fades. People find new things to do that become more important than keeping up with old friends.
disappointing, but, it happens
"It has to start somewhere It has to start somehow What better place than here? What better time than now?"
My wife lets me hang out with my friends as often as I want. In turn, I encourage her to hang with her friends whenever she wants/needs to. What your friend's girlfriend needs to understand is that you guys are in college, and only have a handful of these sort of retreats left. If she puts ultimatums on your friend, he will end up resenting her, and eventually, they will split up.
Well, christy, despite your poor taste in NFL teams, you seem to get it.
I do something similar for my hubby when it comes to the big endurance races of the year (Daytona 24 hour, Sebring 12 hour and LeMans 24 hour races). He and his friends gather here, I make a slow cooker full of chilli or pot roast or whatever. They boys gather downstairs, watching the races and playing computer racing games. I stay upstairs and watch whatever I want to and play online. OR, I just go out with my girlfriends. But I still cook for the boys or they'd just eat potato chips all day. LOL!
Pres~for your friend, do as someone else suggested. Go out, have a freakin' blast and then tell him what a great time you and the boys (and your girlfriends) had.
Quote: It's called life. The sooner you learn to deal with it, the better off you'll be.
It's called messed up is what it is. Being stuck up each others behind isn't healthy, even the best relationships need occasional breaks. Best friend doesn't mean only friend. Most people are very jealous of the relationship the wife and I have. We love each others company, because we can occasionally spend time away from each other.
Uh, I understand all that, and honestly, tomorrow my wife is going out with her friends......leaving at 2 ish and she said she'll be home "later", which may mean 10 pm, or it might mean 2 am......doesn't really matter to me (other than I have to be home by 3:30 when my daughter gets off the bus)
See, I understand how things work. There was a time when I wanted to do nothing but spend time with my girlfriend, who is now my wife. She was the same. We have since gotten to that magical moment in a relationship where we love to spend time together, but we also value our friendships with others as well, and here's the kicker: we TRUST each other.
So, to paraphrase: It's called life. I turned my back on my friends many times years ago because of this woman I married, and she did the same to her friends. Now, it goes the other way, to an extent (meaning if my wife, or I, decided every friday night was bar night, and saturday was friend night - nah, we'd have problems then).
It's called life. Some people grow up sooner than others, which is fine.
Relationships are give and take, my friends are up here now and basically they told me they dont even see him in our hometown anymore either, hes always with her friends, so you know what, his loss.
Anyways i'm off, time to pound as much alcohal as possible to prevent hypothermia. GO BUCKS
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
I really dont see what the problem is....Is it because you whant him to be at your becking call? Fill me in here.....Sure you are friend's, but does that mean he has to do every thing YOU think is the right thing to do? Im not trying to sound like an azz hole....But its just a game ! And if you two are gonna be friend's for ever , then he will come around , and alll will work out in the end.
I really don't see the problem. But that's because they're all friends (their girlfriends are in the same sorority) so they do everything together, and they all like me and introduce me to their friends (I'm working on one right now but no progress will be made until the new year cuz of break).
I understand what you are saying.....I too was young once But to make such a huge thing out of nothing is welll........Just childish! JMO. All will work out in the end, And will be meaningless in the end.
Quote: I really dont see what the problem is....Is it because you whant him to be at your becking call? Fill me in here.....
He said in his original post, that this is one of about 5 things this group does in the course of a year. I would hardly call that being at his beck and call.
that water was freezing and there weren't as many people out tonight as i thought, but it was still a great time, we called him and he regretted not coming, but hey we aren't going to let it ruin the weekend, just wish he could have been here
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
No problem, reading comprehension is a lost art these days. I always read at a level higher than the grade I was in while in school. My daughter is like me and the wife that way, I'm really proud of her for that. She does well in other subjects also, but reading is the key. If you can read & comprehend, you can do anything.
Glad you're weekend is going good. Hopefully your friend will realize that a woman isn't the only important relationship to have. When he does take him back, but be sure to ride the hell out of him for being whipped.
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your life's priorities change real quick. I am one to talk as I am very much in love with my girlfriend, but certain friends I always try to make time for. 
They can go by so incredibly quick it's not funny. I wish I could go back and tell myself when I was 18 to enjoy the next 4 years b/c once those are done, life changes all over the place. Some good, some not. Regardless, have fun. College is the only time where you have all that freedom and friends and girls EVERYWHERE. Big adjustment into the real world for me at least...![[Linked Image from i45.tinypic.com]](http://i45.tinypic.com/adhq2o.gif)
But that sounds kind of sad... glad to see his comitment to his woman, but come on now... this is Meeeechigan.
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But to make such a huge thing out of nothing is welll........Just childish! JMO. All will work out in the end, And will be meaningless in the end.
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