DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Palus Politicus Political Jokes Pt. 4

The first convicted felon made his way to Alligator Alcotraz.

Name: Donald Trump.

Convicted on 34 felony counts.

Bondi Calls Epstein List as Non-existent as Trump’s Healthcare Plan

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In her most vehement denial to date, Attorney General Pam Bondi told reporters on Thursday that the so-called Epstein List is “as non-existent as President Trump’s healthcare plan.”

“The Epstein List is not even a concept of a list,” she added.

“Let’s say you had three things that don’t exist—the Epstein List, President Trump’s healthcare plan, and a unicorn—and you had to rank them from most existent to least existent,” she said. “It would go, unicorn, healthcare plan, Epstein List.”

Asked why she had earlier asserted that the Epstein List was on her desk, she responded, “What is this ‘desk’ you speak of?”

When further pressed on how the list could now suddenly be non-existent she replied, "The list is no longer existent because Biden's dog Commander ate the list."

SEATTLE—Less than two weeks since he tied the knot with Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos has been finding it “nearly impossible” to return wedding gifts to Amazon, sources close to the newlyweds revealed on Wednesday.

According to those sources, Bezos has experienced an unacceptable level of difficulty navigating the Amazon returns system and has failed “repeatedly” to get a customer service representative to speak to him.

An associate who witnessed Bezos cursing as he attempted to print a return mailing label said that he was “in disbelief that so-called friends had bought wedding gifts on Amazon.”

“He thought that he and Lauren would be showered with luxury items,” the associate said. “At the very least, he thought he’d get more than a set of steak knives from Ivanka and Jared.”

Andy Borowitz

Trump praises Liberian leader for his good English..... Interesting compliment to give someone from a country where their first language is English. Can't make this stuff up.

Sometimes the jokes write themselves.