DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Palus Politicus Poltical Jokes Part 5

The last political joke thread is well into page 13 so it's soon to be locked. I certainly didn't want this little gem to get buried......

WASHINGTON—Donald J. Trump warned Iran on Monday that any members of its Revolutionary Guard who use violence against protesters will immediately be recruited by ICE.

“If Iran thinks they can get away with cracking down on protesters without us recruiting the people doing the cracking down, they’re kidding themselves,” Trump warned.

Trump said that he had dispatched Kristi Noem to Tehran, adding, “If Kristi sees anyone murdering protesters, she will immediately swoop in and tell them about ICE’s benefit package.”

Responding to Trump’s threat, Iran’s Supreme Leader said he was raising the Revolutionary Guard signing bonus to $55,000.

Andy Borowitz

Even all of Nick Cannon's kids!?

They both have too many kids, but on a positive note, both can afford them.

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney just announced that he is demanding the immediate turnover of Alaska to Canada for national security reasons.

WASHINGTON—In a daring daytime mission on Monday, aircraft from the European members of NATO flew over the White House and sprayed its airspace with antipsychotic medication.

All NATO leaders signed off on the plan with the exception of the UK’s Keir Starmer, who proposed inviting Donald Trump to yet another state dinner.

Explaining the rationale behind the mission, Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Stoere said, “We saw his letter to me as a cry for help.”

On the decision to deploy antipsychotic meds, Stoere added, “We were uniquely qualified to do this because our drug prices are far lower than in the U.S.”

Stressing that the NATO members did not take their decision lightly, the Norwegian PM said, “We had been hoping that Congress would intervene, but we were left with no other choice.”

Andy Borowitz

Headline Hawaii!

Forty people missing after flat earth surfing Championship!

I found this somewhat amusing but not as much of a joke as I thought after thinking it over................

The story below explains everything:

Two economists are walking in the countryside when they come across a pile of horse manure.
One economist says to the other:
“If you eat that pile of manure, I’ll pay you $10,000.”
The second economist thinks for a bit — it’s disgusting, but $10,000 is a lot — so he eats it.
The first economist pays up.
They continue walking. After a while, they come across another pile of manure.
The second economist says:
“Now it’s your turn. If you eat that one, I’ll give you $10,000.”
The first economist, not wanting to lose out, eats it. The second pays him $10,000.
They walk on in silence for a bit. Then one says:
“Wait a second. We both ate poop… and we both ended up with the same amount of money as before. What was the point?”
The other replies:
“Well, we increased GDP by $20,000.”