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Legend
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J/c
Last day of school. Everything is done. Teacher decides to let the students go home early, IF they can answer a "who said this" question.
Johnny is excited cause he wants to go home. Teacher says "who said 'I have a dream'"? Johnny raises his hand, but the teacher calls on Sally. She gets it right, she gets to leave.
Johnny is upset. Next question: Who said "ask not what your country can do for you, ...", Johnny raises his hand, but the teacher calls on Mary. She gets it right, and goes home early.
Ticked off now, as the teacher turns her back, johnny says "I wish these $%@@*& would keep their mouths shut".
Teacher turns around and asks "Who said that?".
Johnny replies "Tiger Woods, can I go home now?"
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Legend
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someone actually busted that one out in the locker room last night. pretty good.
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Legend
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I just got it in an e-mail.
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Legend
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Quote:
I'm glad they are keeping Tiger. On my Tiger Wii game if I hit enough fairways and greens or win enough tournaments it opens up options to buy visors and new clubs and stuff... I'm looking forward to what 2010 will allow me to open up. 
The 2010 version lets you use two controllers at once ... making it the wii-wii ... and it gets to see a lot more action than other golf games.
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Hall of Famer
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Well, at least Tiger can chase all the tail he wants without fear of getting caught 
Quote:
Report: Wife to divorce Woods
Comment Email Print Share
ESPN.com news services
Elin Nordegren, the wife of Tiger Woods, will seek a divorce, ABC News.com is reporting.
A source close to Nordegren told the Web site on Wednesday that a "divorce is 100 percent on."
[+] EnlargeTiger Woods
AP Photo/Scot TuckerElin Nordegren and Tiger Woods have been married for five years and have two children.
Nordegren was recently photographed pumping gas without her wedding ring.
Woods and his wife have been married for five years and have a 2-year-old daughter and a 10-month-old son.
Woods announced late last week he was taking an indefinite leave from public life and golf while he works to fix his marriage after multiple allegations of infidelity.
The announcement came two weeks after Woods crashed his SUV into a tree outside his Florida home, setting in motion a stunning downfall for the world's No. 1 player, who for 13 years rarely made news off the golf course. One woman who said she had a 31-month affair with Woods shared a voice mail that she said Woods left her two nights before his Nov. 27 accident.
"I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children," Woods said in a statement released last week. "I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I've done, but I want to do my best to try."
Good for her.
***Gordon, I really didn't think you could be this stOOpid, but you exceeded my expectations. Wussy.
Manziel, see Josh Gordon. Dumbass.***
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Legend
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Quote:
Nordegren was recently photographed pumping gas
Woods was recently photographed pumping everything else.
yebat' Putin
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Quote:
i can pretty much already see what is going to happen with tiger too.
obviously we just heard about how he and his wife are reportedly going to split, and probably divorce (no one can blame her)
tiger will take this leave of absence, he has already lost gillette he may lose a few more sponsors (no way does nike or EA drop him)
he comes back for the masters, he comes determined, he wins, the folks get behind him, because he's "out for blood' against everyone who is currently piling on him, and goes back to being the hero that he is.
he probably gains most if not all of his sponsors back. and everyone goes back to loving him.
why is this easy to tell? because we saw the same thing with kobe.
I was just thinking while catching up on these posts, I had already forgotten about Kobe being an infidel,...
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Good for her.
I hope those restaurant skanks were worth it Tiger. You'll miss so much of your kids lives it will haunt you FOREVER! Nice going ass.
![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/Punchsmack/punch.gif) “...Iguodala to Curry, back to Iguodala, up for the layup! Oh! Blocked by James! LeBron James with the rejection!”
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Quote:
Good for her.
I hope those restaurant skanks were worth it Tiger. You'll miss so much of your kids lives it will haunt you FOREVER! Nice going ass.
As much disgust as I have for what he did, I have to feel sorry for the kids.. yea I know they will never do without and will always be rich and blahblahblah.. and I know they are too young now to fully grasp what is going on but as they grow older, they are going to become aware of this whole story... so I feel very bad for them.
I feel very bad for Elin too.. I think I should call her and see if she wants to get together... to help her feel better.
yebat' Putin
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Gonna be a very, very expensive settlement.
Wonder if she'll need house boy? I'll be looking for work soon.
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You wouldn't dare,...you happily married, father of two,...
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Legend
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Legend
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It's part of my divorced swedish model outreach program...
yebat' Putin
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Legend
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How do I start one of those,.... 
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It's part of my divorced swedish model outreach program...
The next Nobel prize awaits you! 
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Legend
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It's part of my divorced swedish model outreach program...
Or is it part of your "I wanna be like Tiger and get my bell rung from my wife swinging my 5 iron at me repeatedly" out reach program? 
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Quote:
Quote:
It's part of my divorced swedish model outreach program...
Or is it part of your "I wanna be like Tiger and get my bell rung from my wife swinging my 5 iron at me repeatedly" out reach program?
That reminds me:
What does Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common?
Both have been beaten by a Norwegian with a club! 
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No pun intended, but that was cold ! 
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It's part of my divorced swedish model outreach program...
It's good work if you can get it.
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Legend
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Legend
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Just make sure you get those text messages deleted. 
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Legend
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Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
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Quote:
Well, at least Tiger can chase all the tail he wants without fear of getting caught
Quote:
Report: Wife to divorce Woods
Comment Email Print Share
ESPN.com news services
Elin Nordegren, the wife of Tiger Woods, will seek a divorce, ABC News.com is reporting.
A source close to Nordegren told the Web site on Wednesday that a "divorce is 100 percent on."
[+] EnlargeTiger Woods
AP Photo/Scot TuckerElin Nordegren and Tiger Woods have been married for five years and have two children.
Nordegren was recently photographed pumping gas without her wedding ring.
Woods and his wife have been married for five years and have a 2-year-old daughter and a 10-month-old son.
Woods announced late last week he was taking an indefinite leave from public life and golf while he works to fix his marriage after multiple allegations of infidelity.
The announcement came two weeks after Woods crashed his SUV into a tree outside his Florida home, setting in motion a stunning downfall for the world's No. 1 player, who for 13 years rarely made news off the golf course. One woman who said she had a 31-month affair with Woods shared a voice mail that she said Woods left her two nights before his Nov. 27 accident.
"I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children," Woods said in a statement released last week. "I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I've done, but I want to do my best to try."
Good for her.
I agree.
This goes way beyond a drunken screw up.
I think the guy is done as well.....this, the links to steroid use...
I really hope Augusta sends him a private letter telling him he isn't welcome on the grounds any longer. Spare both of them the embarrassment of having to deny him access.
If everybody had like minds, we would never learn. GM Strong ![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/small-gator-chomp.gif)
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Quote:
He is done.
LOL.. done in what way? He's still the best golfer in the world by a fairly wide margin.
I didn't mean he was "done" as in, his golfing career is over.... I should have been clearer, sorry. I meant the Tiger we've always known is over, no matter how many more majors he wins.
But his reputation - the one he always tried to keep mint in condition - is in tatters, no one will ever look at him the same way, and he's lost a ton of fans.
He won't be strutting around golf tournaments like he owns the place, or treating people like dirt beneath his shoes.
He should be walking with the proper form of humility from now on.
BTW, I'm glad she's divorcing his arse... she deserves much better.
![[Linked Image from i28.photobucket.com]](http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/shadedog/mcenroe2.jpg) gmstrong -----------------
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BTW, I'm glad she's divorcing his arse... she deserves much better.
She does deserve much better and DC's here to provide it!
I'd step up but I'm too old for her, anyone know what her mom looks like? 
#GMSTRONG
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1st String
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1st String
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Quote:
Quote:
Nordegren was recently photographed pumping gas
Woods was recently photographed pumping everything else.
That's one of the funniest things I have ever read on this board.. Awesome...
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Legend
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I agree.
This goes way beyond a drunken screw up.
I think the guy is done as well.....this, the links to steroid use...
I really hope Augusta sends him a private letter telling him he isn't welcome on the grounds any longer. Spare both of them the embarrassment of having to deny him access.
C'mon Peen.. unless some substantial link is made between him and steroids, not just a doctor that had steroids there is absolutely no reason to ban him from anything.
What is Augusta going to do, start banning people for infidelity? I have a feeling if they did that their own membership might get cut by half.
yebat' Putin
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Peen, they won't do anything to Tiger and I don't know why you would say that??? Since Tiger has been tested and passed every test I don't see how a doctor he used in the past automatically links him to PED's just because said doctor has been linked.
IMO, Tiger is going to lay low for a while and come back half way through the year and finish the last two majors. It will be just like the Kobe situation except no one that I've heard of has accused Tiger of raping them.
I hope the best for Elin. May she get as much money as she can. Be a great mother to your kids and I hope she allows Tiger to be a father to them as well.
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I currently think tiger is a dirt bag. However, I disagree with your hope that Elin gets as much money as she can.
Why is she "entitled" to what he earns? They had a pre nup.
He'll owe an ungodly amount in child support. (and I disagree with that also - as I said in the braylon thread - I think $10,000 per month for each kid is more than enough). Just because she was married to him she should get "all she can"?
I don't like tiger. I don't care for braylon.......but fair is fair. And a one night stand that thinks she deserves $70,000 per month isn't fair. And for Elin? Her $20 million pre nup is fair.
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Tag Hauer has dropped him now! I wonder if he feels like Humpty Dumpty right about now? Tag Hauer
#GMSTRONG
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If every lurid detail about every celebrity's life were made public...99% of paid spokespeople would lose their endorsements.
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Agreed. I'm not sure why celebrities are thought of as idols, or gods. They screw up just like the rest of us.
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
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Quote:
I'm not sure why celebrities are thought of as idols, or gods. They screw up just like the rest of us.
Because they're airbrushed to perfection.
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Legend
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Quote:
Agreed. I'm not sure why celebrities are thought of as idols, or gods. They screw up just like the rest of us.
Exactly... We are all human.
Especially MEN!!
If these walls could talk.. politicians.. musicians.. athletes.. teachers.. doctors.. lawyers...
Man.. if these walls could talk.
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Quote:
If every lurid detail about every celebrity's life were made public...99% of paid spokespeople would lose their endorsements.
Probably so, but if you're going to take the money and be the front person for the product, you've got to be a little brighter than Tiger was with your indiscretions. It's not like you don't know the microscope is there waiting for you when you put yourself out there.
#GMSTRONG
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the media loves to paint the pretty picture, and then tear it down.
they build you up, and tear you down, it keeps them in business.
i personally don't think the guy should lose any sponsorships. he commited no crime, what happened with him and these affairs should be between him and his wife and it's kind of disgusting that it's all being laid out for the whole world to see.
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Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Tiger Woods in Accident
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