DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... The Ease and Concept of Being Offended

With the whole Donald Sterling thing in the forefront...and I didn't really want to talk about that event specifically.


But I wanna discuss the whole concept of being offended. It's something that has truly come to the forefront in recent times. If anyone somewhere says something off-color, people come from everywhere to claim that theyre offended and that this is an outrage and blah blah blah like it means something and is important.

The word offended doesn't mean anything. And being offended doesn't accomplish anything.

Looking at the Donald Sterling case...theres white americans claiming to be offended by Sterling's comments...this makes even less sense! Be upset, be angry, be disappointed, be whatever...but you cant be offended. There was no offense taken towards you (us?). Sterling didn't say he didn't want white americans at his games...he said he doesn't want African-americans...theyre the only ones allowed to be offended because that is a statement or action that is an offending statement/action.


And the commentary on this Donald Sterling case has been appaling. Every single black person in sports is being placed on TV and asked about it. What does ANYONE expect there to be said there...Can any African-American look and say...oh...well im okay with it, Im sure he was joking or he was set up...No...not going to happen.

When Kanye West said his insensitive comments everyone jumped on the "offended" bandwagon.

Any time anyone says or does something that doesn't jive with the "moral" majority anyone with an opinion becomes "offended" by the action, like it means something.
Does it mean anything if lets flip it around and a black owner of a restaurant doesn't want white people in his restaurant, or if a Chinese restaurant owner doesn't want white people in his restaurant...and I say im offended by it?
No...its a non-action word that has given people in American society a right to condemn something...but do nothing about it, but feel like theyre doing something. I don't understand the quickness, eagerness, and ease everyone has feeling important about being offended by something.

If we want to use the Sterling thing as an example, instead of everyone being offended by his actions...why don't people just not go to game 5...Why don't people stop buying tickets and Clippers gear. It'd be even easier in LA because you can be a Lakers fan and not even leave town to support.

Offended is the word of inaction in American society but it allows the users to feel entitled to certain feelings without doing anything, or truly being affected by anything. How many people that are offended make up the community that Sterling doesn't want coming to his games...Only 14% of the American population applies there...How many people that are soooooo offended by what he said even go to Clippers games...or will ever go to a Clippers game. Or even watch basketball. Or knew who Donald Sterling was before this all happened. Or knew that he owned a team...

Im rambling a bit here...but does anyone else have an opinion on this whole concept and eagerness of getting/being offended. I have one side of this in my mind that its just a non-action posing as action and the entitlement associated with it, are allowed to feel any way they want, and not take any action...

I mostly feel like we're using the word offended to represent other feelings...
Using the Sterling event as an example, I'm disappointed that he feels that way. Im upset that he would verbalize such negative feelings in such a forum that could lead to what is happening. Im angry that he is the owner of a team that 85% of the roster is made up of the people that he doesn't want in attendance. I have a lot of feelings about situations...but offended just shouldn't enter that realm...

This is where our society is falling short in my opinion.

What are your thoughts on being offended...?

I am offended by this article

This is no article! Just the inane ramblings of someone frustrated...by our failing command of English and societal happenings.

If I want to claim to be offended for personal gain and publicity, I should be able to! It's the progressive way!

I agree. Being offended is such a neo-liberal term that demands no action, but voices displeasure. It's sad, really. Well, offended is the first action, but it needs to be followed quickly by an action. The Clippers avoiding the use of the Clip's name and logo is the action followed. Conservatives were offended by Kanye after the Taylor Swift accident, and they black balled him as their second action. But way too many times people just stop at the offended part and don't back it up.

Many people love to jump on the holier-than-thou wagon if they think they can wedge themselves into a seat on it, regardless of their own character flaws.

I think it just serves as an opportunity to feel better than somebody else. Some people need that badly.

I am reminded of the non-smokers vs smokers. It doesn't matter how much of a slime bag a particular non-smoker might be, in a smoker he finds at least someone of whom he is "better" than so he jumps on the wagon of making disparaging remarks aimed at the smoker thereby elevating himself in his mind.

One of the better comments made to me while I smoked a cigarette outside on break was from a 350 lb woman chiding on me how unhealthy cigarettes are for me. This while she was eating herself toward a sure heart attack.

Interesting post.

I wasn't offended. I simply thought he made a colossal error. I thought he was stupid. I also thought that there is a double standard in our current society. It's terrible if one group "offends" as in they actually show a preview of some guy saying: "Stop! White guys can't fight." Nah, that's not stereotyping. On the On the other hand, people are flipping out about being "offended" by some old rich geezer's comments. Okay.

Whatever. People go to extremes. I am married to a minority. I don't see color. I see the person. My wife came from poor beginnings and now makes over $300,000 a year. Should we categorize her by her ethnicity? Do you really think she gives a rat's ass about any of that? Work hard. Practice good moral habits. Forget race. Focus on the individual.

Nice.

Speaking of hockey, it looks like the refs have put their whistles away for the 3rd period in a 2-2 Avalance/Wild game. The sticks are getting high.

Well, Minnesota got shafted on one of the worst non-calls I've ever seen in the last game....blatantly held while skating in for an empty netter. Of course the avs skated in (offsides, mind you) and tied it up....and then won in OT. I don't like either team, but I hate to see officials decide a game.

They let another blatant interference call go tonight too, but the Wild pulled it off with two empty netters. I want the Wild to win as I can't stand Patrick Whaaaaaaa.

Forgetting race or gender is a wonderful idea.

However, it doesn't work. There are clear "double standards". White guys get the opportunity to say, "What about me?" as much as anyone else and they often do.

Until actual double standards are eliminated, like equal pay and equal opportunity, there will always be people voicing their concerns when a person in power, which is how most people see Sterling, shows their prejudice.

Weird how racism doesn't matter which party you are. For example, Donald Sterling is a Democrat while Ronald Reagan is a Republican.

People blame other people for their frustrations all the time….

The following thoughts may be found @ zenhabits.net/gah (link function not working for me).

The Other Person is Never the Problem
By Leo Babauta

In countless little ways each day, we blame other people for our frustrations.

They irritate us, don’t do things the right way, are incompetent, rude, inconsiderate, bad drivers, too slow, not tidy, boring, uncaring.

And yet, we will always be frustrated if we stick to this mindset.

We will always be angry, offended, hurt, disappointed. There will be no end to the offenses humanity can take against us, as long as we decide that everyone else is wrong, all the time.

They’re not the problem.

The other person is never the problem.

This is a lesson I learned from Charlotte Joko Beck in her book, Everyday Zen. The problem is our reaction. The external event (someone is rude to you) will always happen, every day, often multiple times a day. We cannot stop others from being rude — but we can change how we react.

If we can react in a calmer, more peaceful manner, we will be happier. We will then act in a more compassionate way, smile, and perhaps the other person will be transformed just a little bit by this act of compassion.

Here’s a short guide to reacting peacefully:

1. When you notice yourself getting offended, frustrated, angry, irritated, disappointed … pause. Take a breath.
2. Don’t act. Acting in anger is harmful.
3. Examine the idea you have about how they should act. You are holding onto this idea, and it is in conflict with reality. As long as you hold onto fantasies that aren’t in line with reality, you will be frustrated. Try changing all of reality to match your expectations — let me know when you finally succeed.
4. Toss your expectation into the ocean.
5.Smile. Accept the person in front of you, and yourself, as a flawed human.
6.Act with compassion. When you stop blaming the person for not acting perfectly, you can then respond appropriately, and with compassion. Accepting reality doesn’t mean you don’t take action — it just means you let go of the frustration. Instead, you can act appropriately, and be more centered in your actions.

Question: What if people you rely on are careless or irresponsible? Aren’t they the problem, then? Yes, the other person is careless or irresponsible. And this is reality — it will always be this way. You can’t change that, and so the question is, how will you deal with it? You can rage and get mad at them, or you can let go of expectations, breathe, and act appropriately within this reality.

Toss your expectations into the ocean, smile, and act with compassion. The other person, rude bugger that he is, will never see it coming.

Not that it matters but I believe Sterling is a registered repub. However he has contributed to both parties.

jc

I do feel we have made strides to become colorblind in recent years, I really do. If Sterling's tape came out in 2004 I have no reason to believe his punishment would have been as severe as what was dished out this week.

Sterling was an adult in LA during the times of the MLK, the civil rights movement, and the Watts riots to name a few. This had a profound effect not just on African Americans, but whites who were there at the time too. Many whites sided with the struggles going on. But many also doubled down on their racism because they felt the civil rights movement was an affront to their freedom. The civil rights movement can feel like a lifetime ago, but many are alive today who lived during that time.

Events like what transpired this week show how far we've come in matters of race, but also how much farther we have yet to travel.

I agree. I think at this point racism is more institutional and less person to person. However, the institutions take awhile to change.

Nobody can make you feel offended. In order to take offense... you have to take it.


Just don't take it. Leave it with them.

I don't care if anyone takes offense....

The things that upsets me is this "general feeling" that we have some sort of RIGHT to NOT be offended.

So that if someone offends us, the way people act out against it is as if one of our constitutional liberties was taken away....THAT is what is disturbing to me.

I swear , my reaction to people claiming to be offended is..."Yeah.....so what?...."

I get it..your hurt in some fashion...and many times it is wrong.But Joe Blow is allowed to say whatever he or she wants. You don't have to support them...as a matter of fact...you can lead boycotts against them....But I really don't care if you are "offended". Did we not learn anything from the KKK's Supreme Court Case??? They say MANY offensive things....But they are allowed to say them....you don't have to listen nor support them.

Hard to really find a good place to talk about this as we have a few race threads already. But I want to place this here as it truly has to do with people being offended. Bomani Jones talks about Donald Sterling and racism.

https://www.youtube.com/v/g6bLKe9-Mto

So why are we only caring about Donald Sterling with his comments about race instead of actual meaningful things like housing.

it's far easier to be offended than to get your hands dirty to fix socioeconomic problems

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So why are we only caring about Donald Sterling with his comments about race instead of actual meaningful things like housing.

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As is the case with the Shaq story, offending poor and disabled people doesn't get you as much action as offending a bunch of spoiled millionaires like LeBron and Snoop Dogg.. when they get offended, things happen.

We should be more worried about the actions that he has taken in his adult life.


Its crazy that there is so much outrage over these comments. Every time someone says something, everyone that has the ability to improve their standing, gain extra attention, or generally make a statement that makes them more known, gets to take a moral stand about all off what is happening.

Im amazed at the amount of black celebrities Ive heard from since Sterling got in trouble that are so outraged. Even mark Jackson...a player that played for Sterling suddenly has an outraged opinion about the man.


So much outrage...and while its justified...I feel like its been INCREDIBLY misplaced so often that to me it loses its steam and worth.

When I say misplaced...I mean directed in the wrong places and at the wrong things...

I'm offended that you presume to be able to tell me what I can and cannot be offended about.

Thats fair offense taken...I approve this offendedness. I said something that was an offense at people being offended.

Donald Sterling may be an Ahole. Probably is, but can somebody tell me what laws he broke. He was on a private conversation with his girlfriend. He offended her and she got even. He has to be very embarrassed
So guys like Dan gilbert demand he get fired. In America I thought we had freedom of speech.I GUESS THE GOVT AND liberals know whats best. I have not watched a pro basketball game in years and not gonna start anytime soon.

You DO have freedom of speech.

You DO NOT have freedom from the consequences of what you say.



That simplistic difference aside... you should REALLY look into what the real intent behind "freedom of speech" was. This is not a case for it.

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but can somebody tell me what laws he broke.

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It's actually better now to break laws, because then there is actual justice at work, than do to something that you can't be tried for..

Because then you are tried by every, forever..

Sterling did break laws, years ago, he paid a fine, and everyone moved on. He even donated to the NAACP and got some awards from them (Wow.)

But no he's gone and opened his mouth, and theres really nothing he can do but slowly try and fade away... Because that's the only way everyone will stop coming at him..

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So guys like Dan gilbert demand he get fired. In America I thought we had freedom of speech.I GUESS THE GOVT AND liberals know whats best.

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The two funniest parts of your post are that, 1. the government didn't do anything to Sterling.. and 2. you think the billionaire owners of pro sports teams are liberals.

People love the feeling of indignation. I honestly don't see the point of the thread. "Offended" is merely a synonymous word with every other word that expresses the indignation people feel when they suspect that they, or the community, or a truth, is being wronged. It's a universal human characteristic. If you think you're above it, you're fooling yourself. On this board there are a lot of people who rail against "political correctness" and Americans who are too easily offended. But if I started a thread titled "Christians Are Stupid," get ready for the deluge of offended/angry/indignant/outraged/etc., etc. etc. responses. A distinction without a difference is no distinction at all.

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On this board there are a lot of people who rail against "political correctness" and Americans who are too easily offended. But if I started a thread titled "Christians Are Stupid," get ready for the deluge of offended/angry/indignant/outraged/etc., etc. etc. responses. A distinction without a difference is no distinction at all.

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And most of the people responding would be Christians who you just called stupid...

Now if PDR, who is outspokenly not a Christian, says he's offended by the comment, I would find that bizarre...

What gets me is when a billionaire white guy in California insults black men and black basketball players in California and a white trust fund kid at an Ivy League School who doesn't even watch the NBA says they are offended..

So I get what you are saying.. and I guess PDR could say he understands why Christians can find it offensive, but you can't be personally offended by something that doesn't apply to you.

I will never get my period ever. However I find it offensive when guys ask girls if they're on their period to rationalize their thoughts.

What if you just think they might be to help explain it?