I guess as a Browns fan, I have a range of feelings from guilt to frustration to disgust. Sometimes I feel guilty rooting for and supporting a team with a guy like Watson on it but I 'm still a Browns fan.
I've had to deal with this as well. And this isn't the first time, where this team is concerned.
Every time Kellen Winslow's name came up, I got this nasty taste in the back of my mouth. So much talent; such flawed character.
Johnny Manziel tried to push me away from this team.
I was totally devastated when I learned of 32's treatment of women. He was a hero like My Dad... until he wasn't.
I'm on the record: this issue raises a conflict in me unlike any player's who came before. Guilty/not guilty, doesn't matter from my perspective. It's the stain on the logo that bothers me. I can rub and rub, use bleach, borax & brighteners, and scrub that orange helmet with acid and sandpaper, and it won't come out. I'm a different Browns fan than I was before this trade. They took something from me, with the way they did it. And it's not because I'm a DeShaun hater by any means. It's not that I was ever a BakerBoi, either. It's not that the trade wasn't a sound roster decision or dubious upgrade. None of that. It's the stink that surrounds the whole thing. Browns just can't ever make it easy for their fans. Acquire a FA lead-pipe cinch top 5 QB in the offseason? Cleveland??? What's the catch? Oh, yeah... there's
that.
I've said before that I expect my ongoing enthusiasm for this team to be forever tempered, even if the Cleveland Browns win it all. I know myself. I know how I react to things like this. I know that I'll probably always place an * on anything CLE does while #4 is under center.
The years are winding down for this little kid who sat in Municipal Stadium and asked His Dad "Where is he?" when Jim Brown's jersey became too muddied to see 32. I always expected myself to have a break from reality if I ever saw a CLE team hoist the Lombardi. I don't see that fantasy projection any more.
I'll be glad for them/us, in that "satisfied old man" way... but this team waited until the last minute to steal the little kid from me. I'll follow them until I'm horizontal, but it simply won't be as sweet as it could have been, had this whole thing been handled better. Browns even managed to 'brown up' the offseason FA QB grab of the decade. Only in the 216, yo.
I still love'em, bless their hearts. I just hate the ever-present 'Keystone Kops' look that seems to slap itself onto everything they try to do.
