Clemdawg - I really appreciate your perspective as someone who was adopted. I often wonder what goes through Edwin's mind (my son adopted from Guatemala). He doesn't seem to be at all interested in contacting his bio. family though I have offered to help him with this many times over the years.
Hi, sk8termom. Good to hear from you again.
I love that you spend time with us.
I can only speak for myself, when I talk about such a personal topic. Perhaps Edwin sees things as I do, perhaps he sees them in his own personal way. Life is something each of us must go through on our own. The lessons that Life teaches us plays a major part in how we find our way in this world. You, me, your husband... and Edwin, too. We are all connected... and yet, each of us are alone, as well. Each of us must find our own paths in the time we are given.
Do the things that are meaningful to you.
Be the person you were raised to become.
The details will sort themselves out, in the fullness of time.
_____________________
I see my adoption from a different viewpoint as My Sis. She was always curious. She did the research, found her data.
I never was curious. My take: "Thanks for depositing me here, but bigger thanks to the fams that raised me to
get here."
My Sis wanted to know.
I did not- and still don't.
We were both given what (scant) info was available to us.
She&Me are miles apart on this one... and yet, we're both still OK with each others' choices.
Perhaps Edwin falls somewhere in between My Sis & me.
...and if he does, wherever he falls will be OK, if it happens in a place that allows him the comfort of family support, and the autonomy to choose his own course.
sk8:
Edwin will always possess individual traits specific to him, but that's to be expected from any kid in any family.
In all the most important ways, he will grow to become the kind of person he was raised to be. That's what he's getting from you.
Nature determines personal traits.
Nurture determines personal outcomes.
Big thanks to you- for giving someone like me a chance.
Edwin has a fan in his corner... and so do you.
best,
clem.
