DawgTalkers.net Forums Thread Like Summary - Poster's Challenge Game

You're at a posh dinner party/event reception.

Tons of people from different walks of life are in attendance. Libations are flowing, faces are glowing, open conversation's ongoing. But you're in a salty, mischievous mood. You find yourself in a conversation, and someone asks, "what do you do for living?"

The challenge: Poorly describe what you do for a living in one sentence.


Your answer begins, "I get paid to..."


I already know what my answer would be, but I'm much more interested in hearing from the rest of you. I'll drop my submission in later.


3...2...1... submit.

I get paid to .... do too much work for the biggest boss ever.

I formerly aided people’s deaths.
Currently, I make stuff out of other stuff.

I make drinking water from crap. And proud of it.

I get paid to be Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!