Round 3.
I'll set it off:

Brutal...

This is so unapologetically creepy, I'm not sure where to begin-

Can you imagine what her typing looks like?

For those of us that grew up with Johnny Carson, Immortal........

a classic.
An absolute classic.

so messed up...

Here in Tennessee the T-Rex hunting season is open 365 days a year and there is no bag limit. Now THAT'S messed up!

Is that Bubba's friend "T-Rex"?? or the dinosaur.

As per usual I have no clue what you're talking about.

Lol. I didn’t see his post due to ignore issues but that was still funny!

What if "soy milk" is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?

I've never actually seen anyone milk soy, almonds or coconuts. They keep all of that hidden from the public. Maybe rightfully so.

For those of us who remember.....

Oopsies.....

A 63, a 63 pound, a 63 pound Gorilla walks into a room. (wearing a big, " I weigh only 63 pounds" sign on it's neck.)

The first man says, uh "hey, why do you weigh only 63 pounds"

The 2nd guy, a 2nd guy, the 2nd guy says, "Shut up Larry, obviously, nobody wants to talk about the boeing "cough" airplane not being allowed to fly still.

The first man says, "lost some weight, did ya."

[img]https://scontent-dfw5-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t...amp;oe=6088B2E0[/img]

Oh

Em

Gee!

If you want to bust a gut laughing, check out Ozzy Man Reviews on Youtube. It's an Aussie guy doing commentary throughout the videos. "Drunkest Guy Ever", "Cheese Rolling contests (2 of them)" and "Horse Girl" are especially good. Can't post them or the links due to profanity.

I've watched a ton of his vid's. I especially like Ozzy Man reviews: Destination F. As you said, the language is quite salty - but funny.

Ozzy Man did some really great Game of Thrones reviews.


Not Ozzy Man, but from his neck of the woods..

thanks for the tip.


#somethingnew

Which one of the Rolling Stones is that?

Old high school flame?

Hey look... It's Ted Cruz!

Me after I shaved my head, and my face.

Hey!
It's Ted Cruz!!!

A father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
His son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”

j/c


time to bring back this classic.

That looks like a regular fish if you put it in it's super high pressured environment, of several thousand feet deep in the ocean. If it's what I think it is.

I dont know if this is funny or not. I took this picture outside my neighborhood today.

Notice the sign, next to truck in ditch.

Your submission was perfect... and needed no explanation (at least for me-)


I also love the "f-ed up burnout face" on the ass-end of that tank:
"4/20's: We don't just suck at driving, we also suck at trailing..."

#torch2much





edit: now that I've called it to your attention, you'll never be able to un-see it... Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa....

I was watching a show earlier of some kids gathered around a film of some guys relating what they did on an outdoors trip.
I thought how far can this go.

How straight is the roadway to the right of the picture, and how much farther back should the no trucks sign be, if the roadway is curved to allow for it to be seen before the road hazard.
Trucking companies only let the better drivers drive tankers so they are usually safer less likely to end up in a ditch, unless of course, there is an unforeseen hazard due to a wrongly warned roadway.

Right before that sign is a three way stop, where I was stopped. Trucks go through there all the time, that driver just screwed up.

Actually, because of road construction that is the only way for trucks to go to get over the railroad tracks to get to the freeway.

This is an oldie but goodie!

Maybe not goofy but certainly rare.....

I've had one in my life, albeit online.

Why does it cost so much to have your dog's nails clipped? (Sorry, but I don't now how to post a Facebook video here)

https://www.facebook.com/DailyMail/videos/462578998203239

" If horses had been smaller would cars engines still be in the front?"

See. see.

I was looking at a 1940's pickup truck and thinking, that still has some design elements of a horse drawn carriage.

See.

If you can't see at ground level directly in front of a car would this have been accepted in designing autos?

Was always a huge Carson Fan.

Johnny Carson and Jack Webb

Dragnet: The Copper Clapper Caper

For those of us who remember.....

Euclid Beach Amusement Park: Sal, The Laughing Lady.

Thanks. I will have a nightmare about that tonight.

I know what I want for Christmas

For those of us old enough to remember.....goofy, immortal.

Before Marriage:
Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: No don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will.
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get.
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy?
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

The three rings of marriage.

1. The engagement ring; A time when you see that bright future ahead and life looks so optimistic for the two of you as a couple.

2. The wedding ring; A moment in time when your love is so strong that you make a vow of love and loyalty to someone you fully intend to spend the rest of your life with.

3. The suffering; Everything that is coming your way after the wedding ring.

Pit and TTT, all I will say that I used to know that world, but moved on from it about 10 years ago, not my choice....

I no longer have to acknowledge those sentiments... they are in the past...

and yes, I am remarried... coming up on 8 years...

carry on....

Steve and Sarah accidentally run over a rabbit in their car. The rabbit is badly hurt, but Sarah quickly takes out a can and sprays it. Suddenly, the rabbit gets up and gives them a wave. They watch as it hops off, still waving its paws. Steve looks at the spray can. It says:‘Hair spray – restores life to dead hair and adds permanent wave’

I was reading some of the junk Microsoft Edge throws at me, and discovered that the internet shorthand for Wonder Woman 1984 is WW84. That is rather close to W84.

It is.

And for the record, I've always thought that you had one of the more creative screen names at this address...

Legalizewd
and I always thought it was
leagalize lewd, for years but I'm kind of slow, and dyslexic somewhat.

Is it Daman shot or Da Man's Hot?

I always kinda read it "Da Man's shot" (just messin' with ya)

It is Da Man's Hot.

j/c:

It took a minute of thought for where this should go, then it seemed obvious...


Tennessee Titans CB Janoris Jenkins says his Rolls-Royce was stolen from airport parking lot

6:34 PM ET
Turron Davenport
ESPN

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- Tennessee Titans cornerback Janoris Jenkins returned from a trip to West Palm Beach, Florida, to find his 2016 Rolls-Royce Wraith was stolen from Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta. Jenkins reported the car missing on Wednesday.

Jenkins said he parked the $250,000 vehicle in the south economy lot at Hartsfield-Jackson on May 5 before catching the flight to Florida.

According to Jenkins, no one has any idea as to the whereabouts of the vehicle. Jenkins said he felt mistreated by the staff at the airport.

"They gave me the complete runaround!" Jenkins said via social media.

"The airport was in no way, shape or form empathetic, concerned or in shock that something like this could even happen."

Jenkins said he has contacted the Atlanta police about the vehicle theft.

Not like you can take a rolls to a chop shop.

During lunch at work a woman ate 3 plates of baked beans. When she got home her husband seemed excited to her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the dinner table. She took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! She took her napkin from her lap and fanned the air around herself vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg she ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, so she quickly fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with herself. Her face must have been the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if she had peaked through the blindfold, and she assured him she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"

Trust me- this was the right place for that story.

Would be funny if not so true. (not quite sure how to post a Facebook image)

http://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1...amp;oe=60D9DEFD

I don't know exactly who it is who you think shouting their opinion means more than the facts or who it is that gets offended, but depending on who you are talking about I may agree.

LMAO! Love it!

A grandma was at the farmers market with her young grandson. He kept walking just a little faster than she was so he kept getting ahead of her. She shouted at the her grandson, "Degree, slow down! I've told you that I want you to stay beside me Degree."

A man standing close by thought that was a very odd sounding name. So he approached the grandma and inquired why he was named that.

The grandma responded to the man by saying, "Oh, That's not his actual name. That's a nickname I gave him. You see, I paid for his mother to go to college and this is what she came home with.

Gotta fit in this thread.....

Vid in link.....

Teen tees off, golf ball hit by lightning.....

https://golfweek.usatoday.com/2021/07/10/teens-golf-ball-struck-lightning-topgolf-texas/amp/

Maybe not Goofy immortal. Maybe nuts, but not Goofy immortal.

Jeb Corliss, Grinding the Crack.

I believe he passed away/killed in a future wingsuit accident.

Any takers.....

I looked up Jeb Corliss to check when and how he died, and he didn't. He was in a bad accident but survived.

He might be thinking of someone else. Seems I recall a guy who did this....maybe tandem with a lover, both splat in to a wall.

Yikes!

Oops, you're right. BAD accident.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeb_Corliss

A wise man started this thread for posts like this.

I present to you, The Worlds Fastest Talking Man

0:40 - 1:00: absolute perfection.

Hey, leave me out of this!

Ok, Lover, will do!

In a school just outside Pittsburgh, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Steelers Fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they are Steelers fans too. Not really knowing what a Steelers fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all fly into the air with one exception. A little boy named Timmy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different.
"Because I am not a Steelers fan." says Timmy.
The teacher asks "Then what are you?"
Timmy says "I am a proud Cleveland Browns fan!"
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Timmy why he is a Browns fan.
"Well, my Mom and Dad are Browns fans so I'm a Browns fan, too." Timmy responds.
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot?
Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Steelers fan."

I guess Tommy has grown up and now has a son named Timmy.

Gravity Hill, Mentor Ohio.
Leon Bibb.....Cleveland Newscaster

Been there many times, yeeears ago. Trust me.....Goofy, immortal.

Put your car in neutral, car rolls the opposite way you think it is.

This Strange Phenomenon In Ohio Is Too Weird For Words
There’s something strange about King Memorial Rd. in Mentor, Ohio.

All throughout the U.S., “gravity hills” are a phenomenon attracting curious out-of-towners to experiment with the mysterious roads, their vehicle and gravity. King Memorial Road in Kirtland Hills is one of such hills.

When you get to the bottom of the hill and stop at the intersection of Little Mountain Rd. in Kirtland Hills, you can test this strange phenomenon by going about 100 yards past the intersection, stopping and then putting your car in neutral. The road ahead of you will appear to be at an upward incline—however, when you release the brake and leave your car in neutral, your car will start rolling uphill.

Many people speculate that the gravity hill is nothing more than an optical illusion and that while your car may appear to be rolling uphill, it’s actually rolling downhill. One thing is for certain though: The hill undeniably looks as if it’s at an upward incline.

To view this experiment in action, watch the video below:

An important aspect to note about testing this phenomenon is that law enforcement discourages drivers from experimenting with the hill for traffic and safety reasons. (And testing the gravity hill will be a dead giveaway that you’re an out-of-towner.)

In October, News anchor Leon Bibb also tested this phenomena during his “My Ohio” series. Watch the video below to view his experiment and findings:

What do you think about this phenomenon? Does it defy nature itself? Or is it merely an optical illusion? Have you tested it for yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments below!

Once a woman who has been a Cougar for so long that she now needs a hearing aid, she has officially reached the age where she has become a Def Leppard.

(this is as good of a place for this post as any.)
Everybody has a sense of humor.
And everybody has a sense of right and wrong, it's wrong, don't find humor in a tragedy.

How much time has to pass, from the collapse of the building in florida, a couple weeks ago, before we can acknowledge one thing that happened.

Everybody has a sense of humor and a sense of right and wrong.
It was a terrible tragedy and a colossal loss of life.

One time someone presented to me a gravity hill, I didn't think much of it, it was a small area.
In that situation, it seemed to me, this 25 yards long area of the road flowed backwards (downhill) but the road rolled a car forwards (uphill) slightly.

But here is what seemed to be going on. The topography of the land seemed like we were on a hill side that wasn't obviously visible or apparent, because the hillside was very large and very gradual, (think 8 miles wide and long and 1-3 miles high).

If you place someone on an 89 degree incline, that is so large it's invisible or unapparent, and at some point reduce that incline for a small spot to maybe only 69 degrees, that even though the entire everything is still an incline drop, the small spot appears to go uphill, in relation to what is immediately visible around it,
but it's still a 69 degree drop so things would appear to roll uphill, like an optical illusion, or a spacial awareness illusion.
actually not an illusion at all if you look at the big picture around you.

The red and blue are very telling. lmao

j/c:

Men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month slash their risk of prostate cancer by A THIRD, Harvard study finds

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic...ncer-THIRD.html

-------------------------------

P.S. At least 21 times a month?!? I'd be tired as hell all the time and have to get a desk job for a living. "I can't stand up anymore!"

21



DAMN ROOKIES

I bet it was rough trying to get a bunch of college students to participate in that study.

Alfredo Rivera is the greatest storyteller of our time.

"This man smelled like a pack of Marlboro cigarettes, 4 shots of Everclear alcohol ... and regret."

... right after he said he had to go attend to this a#$-whoopin.

If there was any doubt that the good guys came out on top in this situation, that video should put those to rest.

Glad you cleared that up. I wouldn't fly if that guy was a flight attendant. Every time he would walk by, some portion of his pants would chafe your cheeks.

I knew he wasn't a flight attendant. I was like....no way that guy fits down an isle lol.

I saw this today lol

Now that’s awesome.

But it sounds like something OJ would do…..

If you saw the game live, no doubt, "GOOFY IMMORTAL".

Yeah... that is my all-time favorite ref's call.

I saw it live, and couldn't regain my composure for at least 5 minutes....



A classic.
THanks.

Well then, you're probably old enought to have seen "Wrong Way Marshall".

I saw it live as well. Back then I was a huge fan of "The Purple People Eaters". Paige, Marshall, Larsen and Eller.

Guess ya can't watch it here but there is a youtube link below that takes you there.

Gm.....

I remember that game like it was yesterday.....

My wife and I were at that game with a flight booked to Las Vegas with a departure roughly 2.5hrs after the game ended. To beat the crowd to the parking lot after the game ended we watched the last play from the lower deck close to an exit ramp. At that plays end we tore outta there "stunned/ya gotta be kidding???" at the final play and outcome.

yup.
another for the Top 10.

p.s.
That would have been me, bro-
trust & believe.

If he were here today, I'm sure he would be welcomed back.

On Monday Night Football.....yeeears ago.

In the article below.....

MNF'S Dandy Don Meredith, on live tv, in the booth commenting on Browns WR Fair Hooker.....

Dandy Don... "Fair Hooker. I've never met one".

On a side note, it seemed like Meredith, by the sound of his slured voice, was generally at least 2.5(perhaps 3) sheets to the wind by mid 3rd quarter

https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/a...nights.amp.html

"Turn out the lights-"

j/c:

Not immortal, but goofy nonetheless...

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10214259632195302&id=1550513356

For those of us that remember.....More Cowbell.....

An honest question.....

Can you honestly get enough and/or too much Cowbell?

Leslie West of Mountain says no. You can NEVER have too much Cowbell!

"Dude, You had one job: throw the stick."


Some people are more fun than others.

Years ago, I cut this cartoon out of our local newspaper, placed in in a small frame, and mounted it on the wall of my studio. About 2 in 10 students ever actually notice it. The ones who do get the joke- and LTAO.

The Soup Nazi

NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!

I'm tryin' but don't get it!

All the other dogs are out having fun, chasing the mailman....But that one dog is inside practicing his violin.

The sacrifice you have to make to be good at it.

Alright. Makes perfect sense. I was trying to think too far outside the box -- like the cartoon represented some song or band something!

"Three Dog Night... nope."

"Hey Mr Postman... nope."

This no doubt will emotionally shatter both the Human and Chimp.

Sad.....

Zoo Bans Woman Having 'Affair' With Chimpanzee From Seeing Him
BY SARA SANTORA ON 8/23/21 AT 12:05 PM EDT

A woman in Belgium has reportedly been banned from visiting the chimpanzees at a local zoo after developing a close bond with one of them. According to zoo officials, her "affair" with the primate was preventing him from bonding with the other chimps, reports ATV.

Multiple outlets report that Adie Timmermans has been visiting Chita, a 38-year-old chimpanzee at the Antwerp Zoo, each week for the past four years. In that time, Timmermans claims that she and Chita have forged a strong friendship.

"I love that animal and he loves me," Timmermans said in an interview with ATV, according to LadBible.

Timmermans's relationship with Chita has reportedly consisted of the two waving and blowing kisses to each other through the glass. On the surface, the interactions seem harmless. But zoo officials say that their friendship has proved detrimental to Chita's social status with the other chimpanzees.

"When Chita is constantly surrounded by visitors, the other monkeys ignore him and don't consider him part of the group, even though it's important for him," a spokesperson for the zoo told ATV. "He then sits on his own outside of visiting hours."

In an effort to promote Chita's social wellbeing, the zoo allegedly banned Timmermans from visiting him.

"I haven't got anything else. Why do they want to take that away?" she asked in her interview with ATV. "We're having an affair, I'll just say. Other dozens of visitors are allowed to make contact. Then why not me?"

The zoo explained that Chita might be too focused on Timmermans to bond with his peers.

"An animal that is too focused on people is less respected by its peers," the zoo said. "We want Chita to be a chimpanzee as much as possible."

LadBible reports that Chita has spent 30 years at the zoo. Sarah Lafaut, curator at the Antwerp Zoo explained that prior to his time at the zoo, he was someone's pet, but eventually became "unmanageable." Though he's learned chimpanzee behavior at the zoo, he still has a bond with and an interest in humans. Which, apparently, isn't unheard of.

A 2014 study conducted by Stephen Ross and Hani Freedman showed that chimpanzees that had been separated from their mothers early and raised primarily by humans showed "social deficiencies" many years later.

"Grooming is the glue that holds chimpanzee society together," Ross told Wired in 2014. "We found chimpanzees that were around humans a lot early in life tended not to do a lot of this behavior, even much later, after they learned to live with other chimpanzees. They just weren't good at maintaining these social bonds, and that was expressed by these lower rates of grooming."

Sadly, Chita may always struggle to bond with his peers. Hopefully, handlers at the zoo can help him learn to adapt to life with his fellow primates.

https://www.newsweek.com/zoo-bans-woman-having-affair-chimpanzee-seeing-him-1622129

I blame that on gay marriage. We all knew it would come down to this.

smdh

Florida has it right.

We had the largest back yard on the block. It was exactly 50 yards deep-perfect for young boys' backyard pickup football games. My backyard was the neighborhood Muni.

We'd start up a game, get right to the good part, and I'd get called in to practice. "Jim Brown" had to leave the game to become Pablo Casals. At that point, the others would continue the game right outside my window. "We ain't goin' home just because you have to practice...." Sometimes, they'd group at the window, and try to taunt me with my own football! I'd flip them some birds, and get back to work. It was all good- Once I got into the musiking, I didn't care what went on in the rest of the world, anyway.

In my original post, I mentioned that 20% of my students 'got it'- that's because they were the actual dedicated ones-future music majors and professionals. The other 80%? Hobbyists, dillitants, and 2nd-teamers. Kids who played backyard football instead of practicing. All were welcome in my studio, and each got the best I could give, without favor to any. Still, I could tell who was whom just by the way they reacted to the cartoon... or if they even noticed it at all.

_____________________

Gary Larsen (the cartoonist) must have a musical background. About 10% of his output was directly related to music... with an insight that could only come from being an insider.





I mean, whose mind works like this?

My mind works more like this (one of my favorite Far Sides):

Ben Crazy.....

The International Silver String Submarine Band

We've all been there.. you start spending too much time with your girl, then your bros don't call you any more to hang out..

Poor Chita is living a bad country song.

Oftentimes right after I get up I will hear a song in my head. This jingle popped up today and also a couple of days my past:



For those of you who remember it, sorry if I may have poisoned your mind for the day.

j/c:

Gotta be others who actually saw the show. I'll be "DARNED" if I didn't see it. Never missed Johnny.

Jane Fonda asks Johnny about it on national TV.

OMG! Wonder if those boys wore their dresses to school back then because they are certainly wearing them in this pic?

THIS JUST IN:

SATAN SUES BLACK SABBATH FOR USING HIS BABY'S PIC ON ALBUM COVER!

Funny, but that's not Anavid Reyes. It's a comedian (perhaps you knew that?) named John Crist. My cousin.

LMAO!

Nope, He fooled me. Well played by your cousin!

Rodney Dangerfield.....at the Top of his Game.

I know there's a few of us who remember.....

Immortal.....

Goofy.......? Only to the 99.99999% of society who don't have that talent.

Remember this?

Goofy, immortal.....

"I had no idea I had a gun in my pants"

https://www.wkbn.com/news/local-news/ypd-man-claims-he-didnt-know-about-gun-cops-found-in-his-pants/

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio (WKBN) — Reports said a Chicago man told police Tuesday afternoon he had no idea he had a gun in his pants.

Joshua McCranie, 29, was booked into the Mahoning County jail on a charge of carrying concealed weapons, a fourth degree felony. He is expected to be arraigned later today in municipal court.

McCranie was arrested just after 4 p.m. after officers answered a gunfire call in the 1500 block of Fifth Avenue. Reports said when officers arrived, they found McCranie, who matched the description of the person who was firing a gun, walking in the street.

An officer drove up to him and saw an outline of a gun in McCranie’s pants, which later slid down to his knees, reports said.

McCranie was ordered several times to get on the ground before he finally did, reports said. Reports said he told police he had a gun in his pants and police searched him and found a revolver.

At first, McCranie denied firing a gun then said he had fired a gun recently. He also then told police he had no idea he had a gun in his pants even though he told officers he had a gun there, reports said.

The Cone of Silence.....

speaking of cones...

cone of shame


someone call the A.S.P.C.A. immediately.

We've had to put and/or came home from the vet with cones on our dogs after various surgeries to thwart them from chewing/disturbing the stitches, sans the cutie-cute colors and/or decorations. Just straight up clear plastic.

However, rest assured, if my wife knew the dogs wanted/preferred the cutiecolors cones to the clear/transparent cones....etc, etc, it would be "top of mind" on her part.

Me: "What's for dinner"?

Her: "Fend for yourself. I gotta go buy some foo-foo colored cones".

Rodney Dangerfield on Johnny Carson.....

j/c...

Wild.

Ben Crazy

j/c:

Worth watching:

Pitcher Throws the Ultimate Blooper and Nearly Hits Himself with WORST Pitch in MLB History

https://www.mediaite.com/sports/watch-pi...in-mlb-history/

No bathroom breaks. Lol.

Now if someone put them on a deserted island and the last remaining one alive wins, I would actually watch Survivor.

2 checkmarks.....

Goofy "AND" Immortal.....

ok one more, Bookman might be my favorite side character on Seinfeld, well then there is Putty...

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Oh My! I never saw that, LMAO!

absolute classic.


One of the best inside jokes of the entire show was the name of Arsenio Hall's character:

"Semi."

Happy Baloonfest Day Everybody!!!

Goofy, immortal.....

But would you compete!
and No I would not.
Can you actually ever see a deserted island?

I’ve long said that commas can be a writer’s friend. Readers appreciate it, too.

Just saw a video short of Shaq talking about Kobe. Can't post it due to profanity, but Shaq said some teammates asked if he could talk to Kobe about passing more. He told Kobe, "you know there's no I in team". Kobe said, "no.....but there's a ME in that emmeffer!"

You ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie "Up", but he cannot give it to you because he's never going to give you up.

However, in doing so, he let's you down.

Thus, the Astley paradox.

.

j/c:

Not so much funny as it is brilliant:

[img]https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t...amp;oe=618E0060[/img]

Some skits almost write themselves. LOLetc. Never saw it before.

impressive.

but- can he move a rubber tree plant?

Saw this today: " Soon, we will be moving the clocks back an hour. Gaining an extra hour in 2021 is like getting a bonus track on a Yoko Ono album"

truth.

Just in time for Hallowe'en....



Skeleton walks into a bar.
Says to the bartender: "Hey, bartender- gimme a beer- and a mop."

So, you are at the bar chugging beers with your friends and you need to go relieve yourself... And you go into the restroom an American, then come out as an American... but what were you while you were in the bathroom?

Her: Now that we’re married, I'm sure we can do other things besides watch the Browns every Sunday.
Him: You’re starting to sound like my ex wife.
Her: I didn’t know you were previously married?
Him: I wasn’t!

All week, folks... he's here all week
(don't forget to give some love to your wait staff-)..."

I'm using that one.

j/c...

This might be the first time I'd actually like wearing a mask-

https://scontent-ort2-2.xx.fbcdn.ne...7eaa6ebb7ae82ee4e6f0145a&oe=6186E2AD

For those of us that remember.....

Conrad Dobler, The Nastiest Man In Football.....

What if the hokie pokie really is what it's all about?

That's never been what it's all about! I think you need to turn yourself around Mister!

LOL!

That was funny, clever, and the truth, Clem. Because it mostly is (not alway) your own asphalt.

One if the best ones yet.

That was funny, clever, and the truth, Clem. Because it mostly is (not alway) your own asphalt.

One of the best ones yet.

Referring to this


https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.ne...45152cfdfd9fbc15fecab158&oe=618E0060

He would be standing in the (operates the carnival ride), position, which is closed, the carnival ride named "around", and it's not working,
and on his left side,

would be a walk up counter where he is handing out menus, and the menus' would be dessert menus'
with big "sold out" "sold out" "sold out" "sold out" on all of the items on it.
(of course after handing over the menus' he is shown to take down names and sign a letter of intent to have a lasting commited relationship with each one who did not get the sold out ice cream. )

2021 WSOP MAIN EVENT just got underway.....

Goofy, nuts.....

Quads vs quads.....

j/c

This rendition of the National Anthem has now been given the level of respect it earned.
There is still justice in this world.

j/c...

a classic.

From way-way back.......the early years.....

Buy Murican!

Ever been to Engagement Ohio?

It's half way between Dayton and Marion.

why?

Ooooohhhhhh

Not surprised a person of your ilk would think its wonderful someone would make fun of the National Anthem.

j/c:

One of my fav youtube clips:



P.S. Sorry if I posted ^that^ once before, my memory is getting really bad.

Not surprised a person of your ilk would think that Fergie would learn the words to the National Anthem...

you obviously did not watch it...

Not goofy, but certainly immortal.

The Best Damn Band In The Land.....

Somehow that just doesn't translate well.

It's viral among the Baroque/Renaissance/Early Music/HipHop crowd.

Pit:
- Hendrix " Acting funny, but I don't know why 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky" from purple haze


- Biggie "Gimme the loot, gimme the loot" from gimme the loot.

I should have said it doesn't translate well to me. Now the Hendrix one, that one translated. I'm probably not as multilingual as I should be.

j/c:

Amazon Creates Online Looting App To Allow The Timid To Loot From Home

https://babylonbee.com/news/amazon-creates-online-looting-app-to-allow-the-timid-to-loot-from-home

Not immortal but certainly goofy.....

Vid in the link.....

High school football team scores touchdown on ridiculous backflip trick play
By Ryan Glasspiegel
November 26, 2021 3:23pm Updated

No flipping way.

Joe Accidardo, a wide receiver for Johnston High School Panthers in Rhode Island, did a series of backflips while running in motion to misdirect the defense.

The distraction worked, as the Panthers scored a touchdown on the play.

Whether it was even necessary for Johnston to score on the sneak is debatable. Nevertheless, the absurd play contributed to Johnston’s 29-12 victory over the Pilgrim Patriots on Thanksgiving.

Football is a copycat sport, and it would be profoundly entertaining to see a college or NFL team try to replicate this trickeration.

https://nypost.com/2021/11/26/video-hs-football-player-does-flips-to-distract-defense/

Morticia Adams.

Do you mind if I smoke?

pic #1 is Biggie Smalls- the Notorius B.I.G. He had a hit called "Gimme da loot"

Venice Beach Hoops Nerd

Taxi.....

Thought it was time to bring back this classic:

The International Silver String Submarine Band

Said Every Drummer, Everywhere, Ever.

I say she needs more cowbell.

"Pa-rumpapum-pum, BaybeeJeez!!!!
What???!"

-Yours truly,
Li'l Drumma Boi.

Peace/out.
I'm here all week!"

I wish I knew how to put a photo of myself on here

Pretty incredible thread....

Immortal.....

Seinfeld.........Shrinkage

Not goofy

Certainly immortal

How is this funny? This belongs somewhere else.

Not goofy. Not immortal. Not worth a new thread.

Our 37 year wedding anniversary is today.

Texting my blushing bride of 37 years things like this has def helped along the way.....

CRANK IT!!!

Okay, so here's the deal, it was 4am and I wrote them down.
#3. Why did the dog not cow jump over the moon? Ok.
#1. ...Why did the REALLY nice Chicken, cross the really watery road.
#2 this a little funny. What did the DR. say to man holding rose?
Man in Orange hat. Man in Orange hat drinks so much coffee. How much coffee? (not funny)
cant finish that one. - and finally
Who got fat while looking at hamster? I may not have a sense of humor after all.

For those that can remember.....

.....Immortal.

I remember Perry Mason.

WSOP Main Event.....Quads vs Quads

I hate mush.....

Hey TTT, can you shrink that sig? It's huge and takes up a lot of screen space.

I've been laughing all week.
It's like IMAX at the bottom of his posts.

Goofy.....

Nation Collectively Realizes Cleveland Browns Logo Looks Like a Rabbit Pushing a Walker
Kyle Koster
By Kyle Koster
Dec 26, 2021

The bad news for the Cleveland Browns organization is that its playoff aspirations took a major hit in Green Bay on Christmas as Baker Mayfield racked up four interceptions and missed ample opportunities. Now at 7-8, they'll need to win their final two games and get all sorts of help from others in the hunt. The good news is that it was a banner night for brand awareness in a very specific way. Fox's scorebug placed the unmistakable plain orange helmet against an orange background and it created one of those ambiguous images where one's perspective defines what they see. Is that an old lady or a young lady? A rabbit or a duck? A vase or two old dudes looking at each other.

In this case, there was a swift and widespread recognition that the Browns' logo looked like a rabbit pushing either a walker or a shopping cart.

https://www.thebiglead.com/posts/na...e-a-rabbit-pushing-a-walker-01fqvkc55mer

Goofy, Immortal.....

Not goofy. Not immortal.

Just good stuff.....

Love it! The dog forgot how to dog!

Seinfeld

The Magic Loogie Theory

I always subscribed to the "second spitter theory".

https://scontent-atl3-2.xx.fbcdn.ne...p6xIoFCZerMb1jMBsWjcm1TA&oe=61DC12CA

Home School marching band

The Michigan football team visited an orphanage in Mexico last week. "It's really sad to see their faces with no hope for the future," said Alejandro, age 6.

Love it!!

Been there, done that......

......well, maybe not this bad.

If you're gonna do it, do it Gangnam Style.....

Damn that song is over ten years old now isn’t it

[img]https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/I...HtaKndQ6_4mfw5I91k7tWzATIbD4mcnyveOMrw9o[/img]

Alright, this is goofy as hell. Not funny, not a joke (well, actually, the joke's on me).

Bought some Girl Scout Cookies. Opened the Shortbread, hmmm, something just a little off.

Opened the Thin Mints?? What in the actual ____ ?!

Taste like crap, nothing like Thin Mints!

Jump on the Google to see if they changed the recipe. Noooo, but it seems Fort Wayne is in a special part of the Midwest that gets the other cookie company's cookies... There are two different companies making the cookies, and some of the recipes aren't even similar! What a hoax!






7 Girl Scout cookies you thought you were getting but aren’t
https://graphics.latimes.com/girl-scout-cookies/

We used to know that song by heart.

I remembered every word as I sang it in the car the other day

The Chinese are predicting us to go to the Superbowl next year.

That is cool. Thanks

Oh, bro- thanks for reminding me. If you think that's cool, wait 'til you see this:

How's about a little Johann Sebastian Bach?
In a TV commercial?

https://scontent-hou1-1.xx.fbcdn.ne...eO1uDVHcDGe9O1Pm2tpLCztg&oe=6202E283

Considering it's Olympics time.....

I saw that and did a whole bunch of copy-paste in work chats. Hilarious.

20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day

WASHINGTON—Flushed with anticipation and ready to emerge from another long, cold winter, millions of Americans participated this week in the annual tradition of trimming their pubic regions in time for Valentine’s Day.

A ritual as old as time itself, this year’s pubis-shearing is expected to be among the largest in decades, with more than 20,000 tons of curly clippings predicted to fall by Feb. 14.

“My boyfriend and I are going to see As You Like It and then enjoy a nice candlelit three-course dinner,” said Brooklyn resident Lydia Simonson, who along with many other hopeful lovers will soon excuse herself from her daily duties, retreat to a nearby bathroom, and carefully tend to the area around her genitalia. “It’s going to be so romantic!”

Indeed, tiny scissors and electric razors have already begun to fly off drugstore shelves, while all across the country legs are dangling precariously over open bathtub drains. According to statistics from the National Depilatory Council, the week before Valentine’s Day is by far the busiest time of the year for shaving, trimming, sculpting, playful pattern-making, waxing, and even manscaping.

“David and I are going to take a long walk around the park and then maybe on the way home we’ll stop and grab some ice cream,” said Julie Stibbons, a Dallas-area design consultant who recently made use of grooming shears, a pair of tweezers, and two magnifying mirrors to contribute her 0.4 ounces to the nation’s total raw tonnage. “I wonder if David will send me flowers at work like last year.”

Added Stibbons, whose smooth vaginal region will show no signs of stubble for days to come, “He’s just so wonderful.”

While this year promises to be prolific, experts said the country has gone through many personal grooming phases over the years. In 1947, the first year records were kept, Americans only mowed about 1.25 tons off their “crotch lawns,” while in the mid-1970s private trimmings were so rare that documentation was actually abandoned until 1981.

But with the booming economy of the 1990s, the U.S. saw a significant resurgence in pre–Valentine’s Day shearing and plucking.

“There’s a huge spike every year in the first half of February,” said Brooks Watson, who is head of sales at Schick, makers of the TrimStyle razor for women. “The rest of the year, Americans generate about 50,000 tons of total trimmings, but in the week before this special holiday we see a massive jump. It’s a veritable clear-cutting down there.”

“Bzzzzzzzz,” he added. “Timber!”

According to Schick’s marketing research, during the Valentine’s season, U.S. pubic hair removal rates briefly approach those of Brazil, traditionally the smoothest country on the planet. While Americans seem willing to chop it all off for their annual celebration of romance, personal trimming still varies by season, and plummets to levels almost as low as Greece’s during the week of Thanksgiving.

“If I trim the shrubs, the tree looks bigger,” said Jeremy Wertz of Boise, ID, standing in front of his hall mirror with a pair of scissors taken from his employer’s supply closet. “See? Worth the itching, if you ask me.”

While many consider the practice a time-honored tradition, not all Americans share Wertz’s enthusiasm.

“I’m not going to let corporate America dictate the date or time at which I choose to groom my genitals,” said Denver resident Marcus Shannon, adding that Valentine’s Day was “invented by the razor industry” to sell grooming devices. “If you really love somebody, you should shave your pubes year-round.”

Meanwhile, National Depilatory Council director Donna Spaulding said the sudden nationwide surge in follicular concern is understandable, but she urged caution.

“We all want to look good and feel desirable, but it’s important to keep things in perspective,” Spaulding said. “In the end, you want people to love your pubic region for what’s inside, not just for how it looks.”

https://www.theonion.com/20-000-tons-of-pubic-hair-trimmed-in-preparation-for-va-1819571323

Interterrestial interspecies gay porn that won a Hugo award

Whaaaaaat

J/C:

Can't get the video to play, but that stuff is nothing more than hot dog sauce with cinnamon in it that they dump on spaghetti noodles.

that sounds nasty af.

Not sure if he'll bark- or invade Ukraine...


[img]https://external-preview.redd.it/yO...9a66a132eec83ce208ea085277a511462abdbfe1[/img]

It actually tastes pretty good, and is cheap. Calling it chili is a travesty, IMO... but oh well. I don't mind it at all, but I'll never understand the cult-following it has down here.

They sel the Skyline brand in the frozen food section. I thought I would try it one day. It was disgusting.

My brother is from your neck and loves it. I think it's that "something to call our own" bias. Reminds me of the west coast "In 'n Out" bias for crappy burgers whose only redeeming quality is there are so many sheep in line that it will inevitably be fresh.

I buy this all the time. You have to add your own cheese and onions .Love the stuff.

Ugh. It is sickenly sweet flavored.

Not a fan either. They opened up a Skyline Chili resaraunt in Toledo about 20yrs ago, it didn't last long.

Yo- ain't you heard? It was the Polish Mafia behind all that bidniss.

1. Before the joint even opened up, they started a local anti-Skyline propaganda campaign. Poisoned the well before the poor bastiges even got a foothold.
2. Payed off city inspectors to slow-walk the permits, leading to start-up cost overruns. Fools were behind the 8-ball from the get-go.
3. Once the place opened, they sent in the "safe neighborhood business tax assessors" to collect twice the usual rate. Weekly, instead of monthly.

Those boys from Cincy figured it out real quick. They had no stomach for the way The Game is run up north.

Them Packos are for real. That Family ain't playin'.
They will supply ALL your 'doggz+toppings' needs. No need to look anywhere else, son.

Yep, I find skyline disgusting. Two of my kids love it. I don't get it at all. Different tastes.

j/c:

Then you have to determine, is it "handjob" or "hand job"?

On the importance of punctuation:

"It's time to eat, Grandma."
"It's time to eat Grandma."

Details matter.

That's a boulder. Not a block.

j/c:



No entourage is safe in Cleveland during the All-Star Game festivities.

They say a picture tells a thousand words. That one says a lot.

Hawkins is a treasure.

"Day 60"
It is March 1st, the 60th day of the Calender year, and in leap years today would be February 29th.
Is it March 1st, or is it, February 29th, it is the 60th day since New Years, and because February 29th does not exist every year, but is Real, Day 60 is the perfect day to recognize the favorite Giant Creature of lore roaming around in the Forests of North America, Bigfoot, Sasquatch, of whom I'd bet at least 20% of Americans believe in it's existence. (but 4 outta 5 are hope it really isn't out there.)

Given the American population long since passed 300 million, 20% believing would be over 60 million people.
60 Million people! Today is February -- March 1st, it's Day 60 friends. Sasquatch day! Go grab some beef jerky, and watch "Harry and the Hendersons" and Scan the forests a little bit harder as you pass by!

I was just coming here to post this.

He really is.

Surprised this hasn't been shown yet.



And no, I do not follow "MAGAJew" on twitter. It was "MAGAIrishman" that retweeted it.

Ooops!

Wow… funny though.

I think the funnier bit is the co-anchor's face flash by during the clip. Try to pause it and see the "Oh, crap!" look on his face.

[facepalm]

What do you see at first glimpse.....?

https://www.the-sun.com/lifestyle/2274048/optical-illusion-answer-personality/

Both

me, too, but I saw choice #1 just before choice #2 (as they are listed in the vid)

In the brief time in was zooming it changed for me, but due to the description I was intently looking for an alternative to what was there. The pic seems to guide your eyes to the exact spot that let's you see both.

I saw a man with a backpack walking towards the woods. I didn't take it as he was running or trying to escape anything however.

j/c:

Never forget.


For anyone that remembers the cancelled Kiley and Booms Show when they clowned on Shurmer almost daily with his Madden-like sayings.

"I think it's important on defense that you prevent the scoring."

j/c


This looks like the dopest concert ever...





...until you realize it's a cotton harvester at night.

That totally sucked me in , thought it was legit haha.

It's goofy as hell that anyone would fall for this email in my spam box...

j/c:

A brutal boxer but he could never could knock out the letter ‘S’.