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Cow runs out into the road…


Suddenly, a cow runs out into the road and a Limo driving late at night hits it head on and the car comes to a stop.

The woman in the back seat – in her usual abrasive manner, says to the chauffeur: “You get out and check on that poor cow–you were driving.”

So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it appeared to be very old.

Well, says the woman, “You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there”

Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally inebriated, a full belly, is hair ruffled, with a big grin on his face.

“My God, What Happened to You?” asks the woman.

The chauffeur replies, “When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt scotch, the wife gave me a meal fit for a king, and the
daughter made love to me.”

“What on earth did you say?” asks the woman.

Well, I just knocked on the door……….and when it opened I said to
them, “I’m Nancy Pelosi’s chauffeur, and I’ve just killed the old cow.”

OK, a Redneck (can I still use that politically incorrect term without offending anyone?) couple had 9 children.

They went to the doctor to get the husband "fixed". The doctor performed the procedure, but was curious about why. He asked the couple, at their follow up appointment, what made them decide, after 9 children, that this was the right time to make sure that they would have no more.

The husband replied that they had seen an article that stated that 1 out of every 10 children born in the US today is Hispanic ....... and that would be a major problem because ......




Neither of them can speak a word of Spanish ......




I know ...... Ugh.

Sounds like he avoided quite the udder catastrophe.

I think we are going to milk this thread.

Do you think that cud happen?

What's your beef with jokes?

I liked the joke actually; it mooved me

It really behooves me to bump this thread back up.

Oh crap I think I just butchered that.

I'd never herd that joke before today...

If I hear one more pun I'm gonna hoof it outta here.

Moo.

Drive a steak in it, this one's done.

Thats rare that it's this well done.

We need to be careful the cows stay behind defence...

The whole thing is starting to sound like BS to me.

Yeah, it's a load of manure.

As a comedian, you're pasture prime.

I can't see this thread advancing anyone's brand. There's too much bull in here.

Quit trying to slaughter this thread. I simply can't process it.

Now you're just trying to milk it.

Ooops. Repeat.

Hay, don't have a cow dude.