DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum My wife burned me last night.....

I went to Giant Eagle last night to supplement the grill with a cookout.
Going into the spices aisle I was talking to her on the phone.
I said "Chrisy, wheres the meat rub at?".....
she said without hesitation.......

"Its holding the cell phone"......

lines like that is why we have been happily in love for 17 years now,married for 14.

My wife isn't quick enough to burn me.

It's is pretty funny though..

Which brings me too another little wife story.. Kids birthday party yesterday, they had a Pirates of the Carribean cake, with all the 3D frosting effects.. Well anyways, wife is cutting cake, and hands me a piece, with a little tree on it, and she says, " Here, I saved a little bush for you hun," and all my pervert cousins and friends spit cake everywhere laughin, HORRIBLE .. Grandma and parents, EVERYONE there..

We are 30ish,

wow talk about rated R jokes

Quote:

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wife is cutting cake, and hands me a piece, with a little tree on it, and she says, " Here, I saved a little bush for you hun,"

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Did ya eat it?....

For a second there, I thought you meant with fire..

Awesome guys. I sure needed a good laugh after the whacko day at the gas station with some real fruitloops.

Glad to see you made it through the day Atomic..........a gas station is not often a nice place to be..............especially now days!

Naw, no big deal there. I know everyone that comes in. But once in a while we get the odd person that's never been in there before that is a bit odd. The guy today was a couple of cards short of a full deck and he was playing with dice.

ummmm Atomic, those were not dice I was playing with

When I was 12, we were visiting relatives. One of the relatives was Aunt Sophie (some distant aunt). I didn't know aunt Sophie but mom and dad talked about how she never shut up. Sure enough they were right, if aunt Sophie was in the room, nobody else got a word in. The second night we went out to eat, probably 15 of us at the table. Aunt Sophie got oysters and couldn't get them open.... so she says to my uncle, "Joe, how the hell do you get these open?" .... and I swear I thought I was whispering when I said, "Why don't you talk to it until it yawns, then slip the knife in there." ...Well beer flew from my dads nose, from my uncles nose, and my grandmother almost choked on a clam... and as soon as my mom stopped laughing and composed herself, I was dragged outside...

Didn't you hate getting in trouble for things that adults actually found funny.

LMAO DC! I don't understand why they dragged you outside?!

, thats funny man,LOL..

Wives say the silliest things sometimes,,

The year was 1988, I was at work when I called my wife at home and asked her to go to the desk and get a Mastercard bill that I wanted to take with me but had forgotten. ( needed an amount from the bill).

Anyway, she says ok and puts the phone down to look for the bill. She comes back a few minutes later and says,,,, Honey,, which desk is the bill on..........................................


WE only had one desk at home!

What gets me is how the adults talked about the aunt in front of you in the first place. What did they expect a 12 year old to do? Hopefully you just got a talk about how adults can say things they shouldn't and they were sorry.

Well, it was a 5 hour drive to my uncles... and since we didn't have iPods, MP3 players, in-car DVDs, or handheld video games with headphones, we actually got to LISTEN to our parents.. and my parents talked extensively about Aunt Sophie...

and no, I didn't get much from my mom... other than it was inappropriate....

That's cool...I was hoping you didn't get a spanking for it is all.

Nah, not at 12.. the spankings stopped at about 7 or 8... my mom was 5'1", 110 lbs... I was bigger than her when I was 12... LOL..

Christmas 10 years ago and my Mom was getting all of the prsents for the grandkids boxed up so we can all go home. She has them almost all put away when she finds out she needs one more box. The men were all in the living room and she walks in and tells my dad she needs another box for the toys and then goes back into another room. He gives my daughter a box to give grandma , she goes into the next room and gives it to her when my Mom yells to my dad " I need a smaller box " Well my Dad being who he is instantly smiles, winks and yells back " Honey, I've been telling you that for years "

Turns out that after she threw the toy at my Dad's head she didn't need the box anyway.

I know exactly what you mean, My wife Is one of the most quiet people I have ever known, but every once in a while she will have me on the floor rolling at some super quick remark about the subjet we are tlaking about or a burn. A good woman keeps you on your toes

God Bless her big heart! I hope you collected later.

My wife was sitting in the barber shop while I was getting a haircut. She was about seven months pregnant and my barber asked what I wanted. My wife replied "He just hopes it's his."

Impact~She didn't burn ya, she was being playful and suggestive.

However, Pdawg's wife burned him! Gotta love Mrs. Pdawg! (so, was it yours P?)

He is whiny, ill tempered and a smart alleck. What do you think?

Ummm...no comment!

Better than you do, since I look more like a midget