DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Opioid Crisis Hits Close to Home

I am a pretty private person, so I hesitated to share this on here, but some of you I have "known" since probably close to 17 years, going all the way to the message board on the actual Browns page. So that has to be around 99 or 2000 or so.

We have discussed the opioid crisis, and I have shared a few the tribulations I have gone through because of a prescription drug abuser. Namely my first wife/ my children's mother, Sandy.

I have been a singe father since around October of 2012, and was pretty much well before that even though we were technically still married and shared an address, but she was gone, who knows where. But she officially left the house in 2012 after she did a stint in a detox and never really came home. Since 2012 she has for the most part been a non-factor is the childrens lives, Financially, physically, or emotionally. My daughter has had hundreds, possibly even thousands of Basketball, soccer, and softball games since second grade. She has not been to one. My son has been in marching band since 5th grade, as well as pep band, and concert band. He has been in The HOF parade that literally passed a 5-minute walk from the shack she lived in in Canton. The week before last he turned 18 and graduated HS and not a word from her.

Well this past Thursday I got a call from The Cuyahog County Medical Examiners office. Well actually they called my parents house and let a voicemail message for me to call them back. Well my stepmom sent me a text and kind of messed it up and just said Cuyahoga County Investigator called and left a number to call back. So this scared the hell out of me because I was thinking what the hell did I do in Cuyahoga County to get in trouble, I havent lived there in 15 years. Well I called the number as soon as I heard it was cuy county medical examiner's office, my gut knew. My kid's mom had been found dead.

You know, I can't lie and say I didnt have hate in my heart for her and what she has done to my kids and I, but when the first said it I shed a tear for a quick second, and I think more thinking of having to tell my kids . I was at work and I took off immediately and called my kids and asked where they were,, of course they were driving around somewhere. My wife, who I cant express how wonderful she has been for us through all this, took off from work in Akron immediately. Well I work in Canton but live in Barberton which is about a half hour away. So we all got to the house right about the same time . My kids were like what the heck is going on. Afyerwards my daughter said she thought I was going to say I was going to jail.Not really sure how take that one LOL

Well they took it pretty well, my son has wanted to do with his mom for a few years, but my daughter still talked to her occasionally and would visit her once in a great while. But the part I struggled with is telling them where and how she was found.

Well she was found at 4 am in the morning in some house in the CMHA projects over near The Cleveland Clinic. Heres the kicker, the dude who found her dead was so drunk that he had to be transported to the hospital for alcohol poisoning . Also, this guy who name is Michael is NOT her BF that she lives with. So I had to be the one to call her BF, Ryan and tell him. SO as we piece information together Ryan says she has been disappearing for periods of time and then popping up or calling him and telling him she was in alcohol detox. Which is news to me to find out she had become a raging alcoholic too. And she had been admitted to Lutheran Hospital Detox for alcohol withdrawal. But this guy Michael messages my daughter and says her mom had been staying with him for several weeks . But now this guy michael will not return a text or phone call.

Sorry to share so much detail, it is sad what addiction to do to you . This is a woman who grew up in the suburbs with a perfect home life. Her father was a thirty year retired Cleveland Policemen and a small business owner. She never smoked a cigarette or did a drug in her life. SHe would have a drink once in a great while. When we were younger she would get POed if she found out I smoked some weed. It is sobering to see how addiction cna turn you into someone found dead in the projects.

Of course there is no life insurance or anything . Since my son just turned 18 he is the adult next of kin and the decision maker. My daughters BF started a gofundme to try to raise enough at least enough to get her cremated.

But thanks for listening , and please pray for her to be able to put her demons behind her and RIP, please pry for my kids too

Thank You

I'm sorry to hear this and very sorry for your kids. However, you are their rock and clearly always have been. They are fortunate to have you as their foundation.

I wish all of you the best in your grievance and with moving forward with your lives. I trust you will all be fine as it sounds as if you have been doing brilliantly for years.

Best wishes to you and your kids, dawg!

I'm so sorry to hear this. Must have been so rough for your kids. Like PDXBrownsFan said, you have been the rock for you family, and you have done a great job with your kids.

Wow, first off I salute you for being there and keeping your kids feet on the ground like you have. Well done Dad.
Secondly, please accept my condolences man, my heart aches for you and your family.

Yeah, sad story.

I wish I knew what it was from your ex-wife’s past; while she was growing-up, that lead to such self-destructive behavior.

If I were forced to guess, I’d say as a child she had an intense but unfulfilled yearning for love and attention.

Resulting in a total lack of self-worth as an adult.

What a sad life.

That's awful.

I'm sorry to hear this and I wish only the best for your family.

So sorry to hear this. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

Sorry bro.

Thats what is strange though. None of that. Wonderful, loving parents, she was the baby and there were 9 years between her and the next oldest child. Her Dad was the greatest father/ husband you could imagine. Her Mom was a stay at home mom and one helluva great home maker.

I'm curious like rocky. What lead to her addiction? How did she get started?

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I'm not a doctor, or a psychiatrist, or some mental health person.

Some people just get addicted. It doesn't have to have a root cause in some deep, dark past.

It can be as simple as getting a legit prescription for a legit reason........and bam, it takes off.

JMO.

and thats exactly what it was. She had a back injury in about 08 or 09 and got hooked on the morphine, and it took a long time for people to figure out she had a problem. A lot of it was she was such a friendly and charismatic person that nobody would believe when I tried to tell them and begged people from the church etc. who said they cared and wanted to help us out . She was very cunning in how she used people's emotions and sympathies. And it was not a conscious act, it was the addiction doing it .

My condolences to you and your family.

Addiction immediately seizes the top spot in the addict's life. It is boss, lover, and god. It consumes a person, without a lot of help, and, I believe, without a lot of prayer.

I pray for your family, and that the Lord will comfort you during this horrible time.

I'm sorry for your loss. I've witnessed first hand how addiction changes a person. Even though she went down that path with her addiction, you might find some solace in the fact that it was not her, it was the drug.

The tear you shed was for the person she was and I hope you can find it in your heart to share that person with your kids as they likely don't remember her then.

I hope you and your family can move on with healthy happy lives. Again, my condolences.

Prayers go out to your kids, and everybody else involved here King. addiction sucks. Drug addiction, addiction to booze, gambling, sex or anything else just ruins the lives of far to many people

I’m sorry.

I do not want to accept that Sandy was destined to a miserable existence and premature death because she became addicted.

There’s been reams of studies on addiction and how to beat it.

Many “organizations” (companies really - ie. for profit) claim they can do it

Unfortunately I realize some people can’t do it.

The most well-known literature on the subject says:



This is probably the most respected passage in AA. Many AA meetings always start with a reading of it

Sorry for your loss.

Opioids are a big problem, especially here in Ohio. A few years back my brother-in-law's brother, who was married with kids, OD on oxy and passed away. I think it was a suicide. He had major back problems his whole life - he would get his spine fused, one vertebra at a time, every year. He was studying to be a minister before the drugs took over. He was a great guy but the addiction and pain were just too much for him to handle.

My cousin's son (I didn't know him) also died from an overdose of oxy. He was in college. I think this was a suicide too.

I took oxycodone for a couple of operations I had a few years back. They definitely helped with the pain but I didn't like them, they amped me up and kind of made me feel like I was in another dimension when I closed my eyes. At first it was sorta fun but after two or three days it kinda tripped me out in a bad way. I took them for about 5 or 6 days - if that - and that was it. I still have a bunch left and every time I tell people that some of them go, "Can I have them?" Um, no! My drug days are over. (P.S. 22 years clean & sober - give or take a year! Yes, it's been that long.)

Hey seriously, a general warning for patients who received oxycodone is to NOT keep them in your medicine cabinet.

And guess what. About two years ago a kid (~ 18 year-old) helped me bring some heavy bags up to my apartment.

He got there ~ 2 minutes before me and left when I got there. I put away the stuff and went to use the bathroom and noticed the medicine cabinet was open.

And I almost never open it and never leave it open.

Yep. I hid mine a while back.

Life throws some high hard ones. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

j/c:

King and I don't get along, but this story troubles me. Personally, I don't think we should be focusing on why his ex-wife became addicted. Instead, I think he needs support.

I'm most concerned about the children. I see that his son is 18. Not sure how old the daughter is, but I am assuming a teenager? I get that they are not real young, but man, that ha to be tough. Those are difficult years even when there aren't family problems to deal with.

King, I hope that you are able to deal w/their emotional needs and have a lot of other people to help you support them. You probably already are aware of all of this and know to keep close eye on their emotions and behavior. Not trying to act like a know-it-all. Just concerned for them.

I'm very sorry to hear this. I was married to a woman who formed a severe addiction later in life. It too destroyed our marriage and eventually took her life. I'm the only real dad her children ever had.

I lost a brother to addiction as well.

I'm not trying to make this about me, I just wanted you to know that you have someone here who can identify to what you're going through. If you like feel free to PM me and if you wish I'll give you my phone number. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has shared the same experience.

Condolences and best wishes.

Sorry, again, for your loss, bro

Addiction plays no favorites and it only knows destruction - feed itself at ANY cost.

No words, just taking a minute to reflect. What a shame.

From the brief initial story, I’m impressed with king’s daughter’s boyfriend:



That’s a compassionate gesture by the boyfriend to help out your family and who I assume is a stranger to him (Sandy).

I’d say that’s a good sign regarding your daughter king. (her choice of bf)

king’s initial post wasn’t about current suffering of him and his family. It was about the tragedy of addiction close to home.

For what it's worth, if I were a multi-millionaire, I'd send in the ~ #1,000 to the aforementioned gofundme account.

My condolences for your loss king....

Things like this are never easy.

Your children lost their mother, and you will never have the opportunity for complete closure on things...is so tough all around.

Your the rock now that everything else will be built around. You have been around here long enough for me to know your a fine individual. Stay strong, and my deepest condolences on your loss.