DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Nature or nurture? What do you believe?

Do you guys believe nature or nurture? Sam (my husband's problem sister in another thread) is an adopted child. Her bio mom is dead from a drug overdose. Sam was born a crack baby and has ADD and ADHD. She was also sexually abused as an infant by her bio's mom's boyfriend before she was placed into protective custody.

Do you guys think that because of this she is/was "doomed" to be a problem child or do you think she's like the way she is because of lack of parenting or do you think it's a combo of the two?

Her mom is always saying that Sam has her problems because of her biological makeup and that even if she was mother Theresa she'd still have problems. I don't believe this and I think it's a total copout on her part. She's a horrible mother plain and simple. I don't think your biological makeup matters much in your adult "self". I think it's ALL parenting, which my MIL clearly failed at.

So, what do you believe? Nature or nurture? I'd love to give my husband some info IF it's nurture because he also believes that Sam is so F-d up because of her biological parents and not because of his own mother.

Probably both.

It's predominantly nurture... Nature plays a part in your chemical make-up and what-not, but all of your sister-in-laws problems seem to be nurture...

Being born a crack baby is nurture, not nature.. being sexually abused is nurture, not nature.. having crappy adoptive parents is nurture, not nature... Children of drug addicts who get into drugs don't do it because they are predisposed to, they do it because that is the model they were taught to follow...

Both.... I can see where some things are definitely rooted in Nature, but when it comes to Behavior, there is NOTHING that Nurture cannot correct.

Behavior is between your ears, and all it takes is that person having the willingness to want to change, but most importantly being able to SEE that there is a NEED to change as some have been the way they are and been around people just like themselves for so long that to them it is "normal".

It's a total cop-out. Her mother is reaping what she sowed as a younger child. The sexual abuse *might* have played a small part, but if she was properly disiplined as a young child, she'd probably be a better teen. The longer you wait to actually "parent" your kids, the harder it is to do when they are older.

It is both. No doubt in my mind.

Sometimes nature outweighs nurture and sometimes nurture outweighs nature.

I think she was basically saying Bio vs adopted.

Sorry, that's not the way I read it... Being adopted, especially at 18 months, doesn't really change anything.

She is set up for trouble.. .but it's both... she probably has some tendencies to be outlandish because of her genes... but being sexually abused and probably having a mom who was drugged out while pregnant will cause some serious issues later in life.

All you can do with a child like that is love on them as much as possible and try to keep them in good situations. But also sometimes kids just get to a point where they choose what they want to do and it doesn't really matter how they were raised. My older sister went through her goth/suicide/drug stage that neither my younger sister or I went through and we were all raised basically the same way .

Nurture 100%

90% nurture.

I'll continue the trend, 80% nurture.


Family and the way you are raised has a huge impact. However, I do believe in a genetic predisposition to certain things, especially around drugs and alcohol. Me, for instance. My parents don't drink, largely because my grandparents drink more than enough for everybody. When I went to college, I knew I really liked beer. I actually talked to my parents about it who brought up the family history. I knew/know that if I don't carefully watch what I drink I could easily follow down that path. There is a nature part to it, but I believe it can be overcome by the nurture portion.

Behavior is learned.

Parents can do as much or as little to help/guide a child. In the end, a child is a person too... they will make their own decisions. Parents should play the biggest part in teaching morals, but some of it is learned from society as well. My parents are bible thumping, conservative browns fans. And look what happened to me! I'm almost opposite, but my sister is a damn clone of them!

I believe biology makes up a certain part of who you are. I believe another part is the things you go through, but even bigger than that is HOW YOU HANDLE THOSE THINGS! Will you be a better person, or a bitter person....? you choose your own path. No excuses.

Look up a man named Omar Periu. "Destined" to die poor in Cuba. He escaped and is now a multi millionaire... self-made. He didn't accept the hand delt to him, so he changed things.

Bottomline, nobody's life is perfect. It helps tremendously to have people love and support you, but not everyone has that luxury. The common denominator in both situations is SELF. (To me, self means mind and spirit. They are both stronger than body)

Both, but mostly nurture.

It's both, as there are some tendencies that are just inherited genetically and some that are learned. However, you can usually overrule bad nature with proper nurture, but you can almost never overrule bad nurture with proper nurture. IMO, nurture is much more important.

20% Nature, sometime people get addictied to things, they cant control, it's in thier make-up,

80% nuture, even being addicited to something if brought up to understand you cant have this becuase of your addiction, many people over come it, and will stay away from it and choose friends that dont put them into a position to be around it,

Peen,
She was only 6 months old when she was molested. When she was growing up she was a very hyperactive child that had NO rules whatsoever. She only had rules at my house, which she followed. She never gave me one bit of trouble actually. But her mom will NOT punish or discipline her because she's scared of her.

Nature vs Nurture I'd side with Nurture however IF she was a true crack baby then there are some serious consequences that go along with that. If she were a true crack baby then brain makeup is affected and she may never be right. I have seen documentaries showing these kids and man are they disturbing. They were showing that these kids even have different brain chemicals than "normal" kids and that is something that no amount of good parenting can overcome .

90 percent nurture

Nurture. Most of the things that happened are deffinatly a result of environment vs being born with some bad trait. Most of what you said could have been avoided if she was in a different situation.

I do feel bad for her. Children put into that situation have a hard time breaking free from the bull but it can be done once they realize how messed up the situation is. The bad thing is even when it is pointed out sometimes they don't care b/c thats all they know. It's important to know the grass is greener on the other side and things don't HAVE to be the way they are.

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But her mom will NOT punish or discipline her because she's scared of her.

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Then she's rolling the dice and hoping her daughter grows out of it. It can and does happen....but not so much in our society where people are taught to use a crappy childhood as an excuse for dependant behavior for the rest of their lives...especially if the parents don't step in and give some structure and guidance.

The coping methods she's utilizing now must be brought to an abrupt end to give her the best chance at leading a successful, independant lifestyle.