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Questions that have Confused humankind!

a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

a.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

a.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

a.. What do you call male ballerinas?

a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why didn't he just buy dinner?

a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

a.. Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

another one i thought was pretty good



A woman is shopping in the local supermarket. She selects milk, some eggs, a carton of juice, and an apple.

As she unloads her items at the cash register to pay, while a drunk standing behind her in line watches. "You must be single," he slurs.

The woman looks at the four items on the belt, and seeing nothing unusual about her selection says, "That's right. How on Earth did you know?"

"Simple," He replies, "you're ugly."

don't know why, but i laughed out loud

Are you trying to suggest that someone told them "It tastes like chicken"?

What I'd like to know is who the hell came up with the idea to make "gravy"?

Who could have possibly thought that if you left some bacon grease in the pan,threw in some flour,let it get brown,then add milk it would actually make gravy???

Now there was brilliance!

Adding on.....


Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

How do a fool and his money GET together?

Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?

How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

How come there aren't B batteries?

If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?

How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

Crime doesn't pay...does that mean that my job is a crime?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?

Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

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What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

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Let's just say, it took quite an effort to clean up the mess!!!

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What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

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All hell breaks loose!

Why are they called buildings, when they are already built?

Why does MS Windows have a "start" button in corner? The computer is already on.

Why are asteroids in the hemisphere, and hemorrhoids on your --- ?

Why do they call it a spacewalk, when all they really do is float?

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How do you throw away a garbage can?

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Good question, i had one to dispose of and put it out there, inside another can, and each week I'd come home to find both sitting empty on the curb.

Finally, I used my saws-all and cut it into smaller pieces and put it out. :P

A stitch in time saves nine what?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Are female moths called myths?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands?

Are there any unguided missiles?

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?

Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer?

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?


nordawg

If our knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?

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How do you throw away a garbage can?


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Good question, i had one to dispose of and put it out there, inside another can, and each week I'd come home to find both sitting empty on the curb.

Finally, I used my saws-all and cut it into smaller pieces and put it out. :P

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You take a marker and write on the side of the garbage can "PLEASE TAKE CAN"