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Wow?!?!

Surgically alters thumbs to better use iPhone

Written by James Benfly
Wednesday, 08 August 2007
Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."
"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless."

"This is really, on the edge sort of stuff," explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure. "We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency."

The procedure involved making a small incision into both thumbs and shaving down the bones, followed by careful muscular alteration and modification of the fingernails. While Martel's new thumbs now appear small and effeminate in comparison to his otherwise very large hands, he says he can still lift "pretty much anything I could lift before the surgery - though opening spaghetti sauce jars has been a problem. That was a big surprise."

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Well he should have TONS of room to stick his other thumb up his arse since obviously he had to remove his head from there. Because that's where his head HAD to be when he made this decision!

Guess he never heard of those plastic things that come with touch screen gadgets that look like a pen. They couldnt be more than a buck or two. Brilliant man, Brilliant.

and my world just got a little dumber.

Ted Kaczynski was right; technology is slowly destroying the world. Take a note from Ted and start calling yourself an anarcho-primitivist.

Quote:

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anarcho-primitivist.

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I'm booked in to have my mouth surgically altered so i can then prounounce anarcho-primitivist.

The idiot could have saved even more money if he just threw his Iphone in the garbage

Perhaps he should have his brain surgically altered to allow him to think.

I would expect you to find an article like this, Brute.

Pays off in the longrun? I'm sure he won't be saying that when he gets older... Maybe he should have avoided the upgrade, and just got one of those bigger phones. They're getting way too small now adays. I say we should move to abolish this procedure, on the grounds of common sense.