Hey guys I could use some input on an issue I'm having at the moment.
My roommate has had this girlfriend for about 8 months now. Which is ok, I have no problem with that, its cool.
My problem is he just brings her over here whenever he feels like it without ever consulting me. Even after I've told him numerous times that I dont care, just let me know. Its just a courtesy, to me and to her.
I'm pretty sure she doesnt want to see me running around in my boxers as much as I dont want to be surprised when I wander to the bathroom in the morning to find it occupied.
Now I'm pretty sure he's brought her up here to stay for 6 days before school without asking me. Is it wrong of me to be a little upset? What would you do in this situation.
"I don't remember any of my catches. I remember the drops." - Kellen Winslow II
Anyway, if she's not paying rent, you have every right to 50% of the privacy and facilities. At the very least, your roomie should extend you the courtesy of letting you know he has a guest in the house.
And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul. - John Muir
Try to get a minute alone with her, then work your magic and get her to sleep with you. After that things will be so awkward you will probably never see her again.
Even try a little humor like "Dude, could you please give me a little notice when your girl is going to be here, so I don't come out of my room in the morning in my boxers with morning wood, and put you to shame when she sees me."
If he doesn't ever get the message, start with the male pranks, like vaseline all over the toilet seat, a chocolate bar in the toilet unflushed with some lemonade, mix corn, applesauce and cream of chicken soup without the chicken and dump some on the floor in front of the toilet, and a little in the kitchen sink. She'll get disgusted and quit coming over.
We don't have to agree with each other, to respect each others opinion.
Quote: My problem is he just brings her over here whenever he feels like it without ever consulting me. Even after I've told him numerous times that I dont care, just let me know. Its just a courtesy, to me and to her.
You sent mixed signals. You said you don't care, so why should he ask if you're down with it?
Tell him the same thing you just wrote. You're sincere, you're not being an ass, and its a legit courtesy to show. Don't joke when you ask, ask him straight. Then say with a smile "Thank you and tell him how much you appreciate it." Then if it doesn't work, do as somone said above...show her some morning wood!
Talk to the girl,, explain that her coming over is cool, but that you would like just a little courtesy in knowing ahead of time.. that way you wouldn't be surprised when you walk into the bathroom and find her there..
Couple of things can happen...
1. She understands and says,,, ok,,I'll call you when I'm coming over
2. She says,, Screw you, it's his room also
3. She says she likes surprises and hopes that you step into the bathroom with her next time and spend a little quality time
4. Your roomy finds out and gets all midevil on your butt
5. Both she and your roomate confront you after you tell her and they explain that they have been leaving all kinds of hints that they want a threesome..
LOL
Or, you could just move
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe." Damanshot
Quote: My problem is he just brings her over here whenever he feels like it without ever consulting me.
What are you, his mom? You want him to consult you when he's bringing his gf over? Is that what you would do if you met a hottie at 1:00am and she wanted to go back to your place? "Well, I'd like to but my roommate isn't answering the phone and I can't take you home unless he's cool with it."... I doubt it.
Quote: Even after I've told him numerous times that I dont care, just let me know. Its just a courtesy, to me and to her.
Obviously it's not bothering her... she keeps coming over. It's nice of you to think of her feelings though....
Quote: I'm pretty sure she doesnt want to see me running around in my boxers as much as I dont want to be surprised when I wander to the bathroom in the morning to find it occupied.
Live your life... stop worrying about what SHE wants and what SHE is comfortable with... If YOU are uncomfortable in your boxers around her, then that's on you, not on her... it's your house, run around in your boxers if you want... use the bathroom when you need to...
If she drinks your beer, eats your last box of mac & cheese, and tapes General Hospital over your porn, THEN you have a situation that needs corrected... but as you explain it, I think you are way overreacting...
Quote: If she drinks your beer, eats your last box of mac & cheese, and tapes General Hospital over your porn, THEN you have a situation that needs corrected... but as you explain it, I think you are way overreacting...
LOL ... I had a girl roomate once who's boyfriend was always over visiting. He liked to borrow sodas from my fridge and was nice enough to leave 50 cents when he did. However, one hot afternoon, I came home craving a nice cold soda and opened the fridge to find an empty 24 pack and a pile of change.
Tell your roomate if he doesn't start telling you when his g/f is stopping by you are going to leave him a surprise on his pillow.
I had six roomates at one time, all guys and one bathroom. I tried to spend the least amount of time there as possible. A few times I walked into the shower thing with one of their chicks.. I liked it We had 2 showers in the one bathroom but only one toilet,, it sucked.
Our honor defend, we will fight to the end, for OHIO! GO BUCKS!
Hey bro. If the guy would grow a set, he should always let you know when the girlfriend is coming over, and how long she is going to stay. If he doesn't he is either just plain rude, or he is a ... ummmm kitty cat.
"Look Dude,at home I sleep naked and just like to walk around the house naked once in a while. Now,since this is "our room and not hers",I plan to make myself at home here. So if you don't want her to see me running around here naked,I suggest you extend the courtesy of letting me know what's going on and when she's gonna be here. If not,the results are on you."
Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.
I've spent enough time playing sports in the locker room that personaly,I think anyone who would find that "terribly offensive" is slightly insecure in their own manhood.
Not refering to you Peen as I know you're just joking.
But no,I wouldn't see a thing wrong with sleeping in the nude and I'm sure not going to get dressed in the middle of the night or straight out of bed if I gotta pee.
I guess my whole point was,maybe if he were faced with the fact that if he refuses to show any common courtesy,neither will I. Sometimes a dose of reality works miracles.
Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.
If she's there for 6 days before school and he didn't bother to ask if you were okay with it, I would be pissed. Guess it depends on who buys the food, pays the water and electrcity bills, etc. If it costs you guys anything for her to be there, she needs to pay rent for a week.
Brownsfan... I think that you have a right to be upset... it is putting you out. You could ask him how he would feel if he had to change his routine because you brought a girl over all the time. I guess I would talk to him about it and just be like it's cool to have her over...just let me know beforehand and let me have a say in it. Tell him that sometimes you don't want to worry about running around in your boxers or taking a poop and not have to feel bad because she is in there. Now, for her to be hogging up your bathroom is a big thing...that's just rude! If I was staying at a house that was not mine... I would get ready super fast and try to get as much done to get myself "ready" in the person that I'm visiting's room! Anyways, I would probably start to look for a new place too because it seems that their relationship is getting serious...and I'm sure that he's going to be co-habitating with her soon anyways...plus you want to live the way you do and not have to worry about someone else there... or...if you want to scare her off don't even worry! Just fart and poop and make it stinky and annoy her...maybe that will make her stay away from your apartment! Haha...just kidding! Whatever you do, just be careful on how you bring this up...you don't want your dude getting mad thinking you're trying to tell him not to be with his girl or that you don't like her...just say what you told us... you don't want her popping up while you're in your boxers or doing something else...and also say you need the bathroom when you do and ask him if she should not hog the bathroom up! Good luck dude!
The guy is rude to bring her over un-announced, esp. after you spoke with him.
I agree with the poster who said to>talk to the GF. It's hard to give advice on this without knowing the dynamics of your relationship with roomie, and roomie's GF, and who pays what, and how important the pad is to you, what kind of people you and your roommate are... etc.
He shouldnt have to let you know when she is coming over.
Now if she stays at your crib for weeks at a time, well then that may be a bit akward. When she does come over, are they all over the apt, or are they chilling in his bedroom. If they are chilling in his bedroom all the time, so what? Now if everytime you come home they are sprawled out on the couch, then that might get annoying.
Communication with these things is usually the best solution.
If I were you I would say to the roomie, does she have any friends?
Sack up and get over it !!! Be a man ...and do the normal man things that you do when she isn't around. Wake up with wood ? Too bad for her if she is offended by it. Gotta let one blast ? Let it fly and if she remarks tell her you will stop when she starts paying rent. If it really doesn't bother you then leave it alone and go about your business. Sounds like you would be a little too sensitive to be a roomate of mine.
Quote: He shouldnt have to let you know when she is coming over.
Depends on the agreement they made when they started rooming together. Personally, I would not want to live with someone that just brought people over whenever the hell they felt like it. When two people share a house, it's only decent to let the other know when company is coming in case of schedule conflicts.
I had multiple places with multiple roommates when I was in college and shortly after... anywhere from 2 to 5 roommates at a time... we all had gfs from time to time and this was NEVER an issue... leaving crap in the sink was a big sticking point but having guests was never an issue...
Michelle, I'm not sure what "agreement" your talking about, me and my roommates only had 1 agreement.. get your rent and utility money in on time... everything else we just worked out...
And, that's what I mean. You didn't have an agreement about guests. Some people may. So, it would depend of if they even had an agreement in place as to whether he has any reason to be upset or annoyed.
I just don't think most guys are that organized to have any kind of agreement that covers guests... Heck we didn't even have an agreement covering food... if we ran out of ketchup, somebody bought ketchup, because obviously we didn't need 4 seperate bottles of ketchup... occassionally somebody would feel like they were being taken advantage of because they bought 2 bottles of ketchup in a row... but those things got cleared up quickly....
Start walking around in tightie whites and fart all the time... oh and make sure you smear some peanut butter on the tightie whites before walking by her... he'll start staying over at her place more
LOL I can definitely handle the gas part. I'd give GM a good run for his money.
Our agreement is to tell each other when we'll have guests. Its not that big here so if we both brought people over at the same time it might be an issue.
Its all worked out. I guess it was a last minute thing with her parents being able to move her. It was only a one night thing.
He even apologized so I kinda felt like an ass. I'm glad I didn't jump the gun and let him explain the situation. He also was talkin about how he was glad she didnt have a crazy roomate this year so he could go over there.
I was the only kid living at home while growing up so I guess I tend to be a little territorial at times. This is my 3rd year with this guy and we get along great. I think the leash just might be getting a little tighter.
It's not a jealousy issue at all...trust me my friends and I havent figured out why hes with her in the first place, other than well you know. Heck she doesnt even have a good looking friend
We get along great I think I over-reacted a bit. Thats just my one request from him really....other than rent/utilities of course.
Thanks for the advice/criticisms! Its always good to get a slap of reality.
I never really had to share space as I was growing up. Fortunately we were pretty freakin poor so I'm not spoiled in that sense
"I don't remember any of my catches. I remember the drops." - Kellen Winslow II
Common courtesy tells us that he should let you know when she is spending the night[s]. Occassionally he may not know it until it happens tho....ride with it.
Try to be accommodating when she is around...if she is there unannounced in the AM...let her be embarrassed.
Your roommate may be too dense to realize the awkwardness of the situation. He may also not care...be kind...she may realize how dumb he is.
The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, .
Glad everything worked out well. I can understand the being an only child thing and not liking to share your space. I was an only child growing up and yes we do tend to be very territorial.
Quote: Hey bro. If the guy would grow a set, he should always let you know when the girlfriend is coming over, and how long she is going to stay. If he doesn't he is either just plain rude, or he is a ... ummmm kitty cat.
That made me think of these commercials LOL
"I don't remember any of my catches. I remember the drops." - Kellen Winslow II
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