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Any adoptive parents out there?

My wife and I have been eying to adopt for the last five or six months... we have struggled with infertility for ten years... we have two great sons but it took surrogates, ivf, and donors to help us get them... now we've moved into adoption...

We watched instant family tonight... awesome movie... I'm not sure we could emotionally handle foster to adopt but love doesn't the movie... my parents have adopted two... my sister adopted two... and I'm hopeful thwt in the next few months I'll be able to adopt....

we are adoptive parents to Edwin, born in Guatemala. He came home at 19 months old. He is now 20. Wishing you all the best on your adoption journey. I'll be happy to answer questions if you would like.

Good luck.
It's a wonderful thing to do. I'm sure that it's not without its frustrations (bureaucracy, red tape, waiting), but it helps unwanted kids and families who have love to give.


It worked for me and my sis. We entered this world with no family at all, and were taken into one of the finest families America has ever had.

I hope this all works out for you.

Good luck, jay.

I'm not the smartest guy around, but I never quite understood why fostering children was so much easier than adopting them. Seems to me that those who want to adopt are very serious about wanting those children to be a real part of the family. Meanwhile, I imagine that while there are many foster parents have honorable intentions, the likelihood of those w/more sinister intentions might come from this group. As a former teacher, I have seen these stories play out time after time.

Regardless, good luck to you and your wife. It's an honorable endeavor.

My wife and I adopted two japanese babies in 1990-1991. Right from Japan. (you still have to go through "state protocol")

Very tough.

First it’s the “fertility” drill.

Which included me giving my wife an injection everyday for a month before having sex at exactly 6 pm. (that sure takes the romance out of sex)

Also numerous tests, physical exams etc... (for instance, sperm samples (at hospital)). “Here’s a jar and a magazine.” ("How about a bottle of Tequila?")

Then it’s the actual adoption drill.

Things like attending “parent meetings” for a couple months at night after work, “Hi, my name’s Don and I want to adopt a baby.” “HI Don!” (you go around the room and introduce yourself like an AA meeting).

Also, State police background check, FBI background check, writing essays about our lives, providing family, friend and work references.

Then there was an expense. I believe the final payment was $15,000 per baby. (all legitimate of course)

Very tough since I think the numbers run something like:

There’s ~ 1,000,000 couples who want to adopt annually.

There’s ~ 50,000 newborns put up for adoption.

So they have to weed out 950,000 couples.

A lot of work. "You gotta want it."

The baby’s “race” was completely irrelevant to us. So that widened the field a bit.

And it’s true. I never felt anything other than Keith and Mandi were (and are) my son and daughter.

I have to imagine with all the adoption your family has already done that you're aware of work to be done to adopt a newborn.

My personal feeling is that there are very few more loving things a couple can do than to adopt a child. You really do give a child a new life.

Thank you everyone for sharing!!

Sorry, had to chuckle because my wife and I had the same conversation after watching that movie.

Our youngest is 15.. I'm too old to start with an infant/toddler.. but damn, I still feel like there is more we could do.

I could never take on a toddler. I am 56 now, with a horrible back. If the kid was 2 .... I'd be 72 or 73 when he graduated high school. (if we are still bothering to educate our kids by then, that is) Man, 74 or 75 when he graduates College.

You know .... I'm getting old.

People/couples who adopt “older babies/children” are true heroes.

This is much different than adopting newborns (like my wife and I did).

I think you have to have much more tolerance and understanding.

It’s much harder.

The vast majority of adopters want a newborn. A child they can “mold” from the beginning.

This is why adopting a newborn is so tough. (simple "supply and demand")

If you want to adopt an older child - no problem. How many you want?

But you need a deeper understanding (and love) of humanity. And a very high tolerance.

People who adopt - and capably raise - older children have my deepest respect.

GETTING *Spitting diet coke out of my nose*

Alright .... enough comments from the peanut gallery.