DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... I am a Dad with no control.

I was just kidding, arch. Smarten up.

Mine too.

Hate to say it but I kind of miss the good ole days when the kids who were in "the drug scene" generally dressed and acted in a way that tipped you off... sure, the other "good kids" might have had some beers/wine on the weekend and smoked a little weed but that was about it... now the pills, opiods, those kinds of things are everywhere and kids seem to be getting better and better at hiding it. There is no "good school" or "good neighborhood" or social class that gives your kids a buffer from it.

Shes half right.

I spoil my son, and I give in more than I should, but I am stern and more so than my wife.

its weird. I am the playful parent and his buddy, but I am also the disciplinarian in the house. I will play and joke and wrestle etc, but once he steps out of line, I am the first to correct him. I believe in spanking, but as the ultimate punishment. I have only had to spank him 1x (he is 4).

I get it though, its hard NOT to spoil them. We want them to have everything we couldn't or didn't have. I catch myself in a toy aisle every time we go to the store even if hes not with me lol. I don't always buy, but im always looking at things I think he would like.

I think their is a happy medium in spoiling and still be able to discipline and have boundaries.

Im sure you do fine at it.

I disagree and agree to an extent. My son gets just about every toy - but he earns them to get them. He is 4 but has chores, and if he is good at we school he gets an extra toy. You can make them earn it, but still spoil them at the same time.

That depends on how you define spoiled...

Giving your kids nice things and allowing them to do most of what they want to do doesn't spoil your kids...

What spoils your kids is not holding them accountable for their actions when they screw up, not teaching them a decent work ethic, not teaching them to appreciate what they have (whether it's a little or a lot), not teaching them that relationships are more important than their material possessions...

I've known kids who had little who acted very spoiled because nobody taught them discipline and respect... I've known kids who had everything who didn't act spoiled at all...

They are your girls..spoil them..love them have fun with them..Treat them like gold..

Because most of the males now a days won't..so make them look for a good man who is like their Father to be with.

I have 3 daughters and to this day after giving them everything they work they love the Browns and they still tell me how much they love me..

I have a daughter….my first born.


Just resign yourself that if you do it right, they are going to hate you for a good number of years.....your wife might disagree for a good number as well.

A story.....a new boy showed up to date my daughter who I wouldn't allow to date before 16 years old, that's another story. He showed up wearing a Rolling Stones "tounge" t-shirt. I told him he needed to show up wearing a collard shirt if he wanted to take my daughter out on a date. I told him to go home and change. My daughter and wife were horrified.....I didn't care....my way or no way, even if everybody in the house was mad at me. I have a strong backbone....no wishbone here.

Be strong bro. She will love you even more in 15 years, though those 10 where she hates you for the most part hurt.

You are the adult. You have the roadmap. You know what's best. Stick with the map.

My daughter's boyfriends have learned, I guess, that there is a certain preparation they need to go through to meet me. I just found this out a few weeks ago, after my wife told me.

I'm fine with it.

I have a horror story that is something my family and friends still laugh about.

My daughter was 14 at the time. She is a beautiful woman and was a beautiful girl. She has always been very well endowed. Boys would follow her around all the time. The older boys would even attend her brother's [2 years younger] baseball games all the time. They just wanted to be around my daughter.

So, this kid pulls into our driveway when she was 14. I walk out w/the shotgun and ask what he wanted. He was stammering and my daughter runs out and says she knows the kid. I ask how old he is and he says 16. I tell him she's only 14 and she can't get in a car w/a 16 year old boy. He was scared poopless.

Later, I find out that the poor kid was actually a very nice young man and not the type to take advantage. My daughter, son, and wife still get on me about that one. I kinda felt bad............but then again, the word was out. LOL

My Pops played the same role when Stevie Gibson showed up on our front porch with NO shirt on. Middle of the Summer. Hot. Didn't matter.

Stevie was 6'2". Pops was 5'9."
And Stevie was the short one, slinking off the porch to go home for a shirt.

"My daughter will only see people who are fully dressed. Come back correct, or stay away. Those are your options, son. Goodbye."

Sis hit the ceiling. Pops was Mt Rushmore.
After he'd given her her 'rant time,' he shut it down. With authority.

"I've given you ample opportunity to express yourself. Now, you will stop. Because I can send his young ass away even if he's dressed in a suit and tie. Now would be a smart time for you to stop talking."


Pops always ran his ship tight.
And we were good kids because of it.

Your dad sounds pretty awesome to me =)

One of my favorite Bible verses on parenting is:

Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

I think it's important to use language with your kids that isn't provoking them to fight with you but instead being clear what the rules are and what behavior is expected. Then letting them know the punishment for failure to comply is and then execute said punishment without belittling or insulting them.

Phrases like, "What are you stupid or something?!", "Why can't you get anything right?!", and other such phrases are really bad IMHO because it lowers their self esteem if they accept it or makes them angry enough to rebel if they don't.

When my daughter reached dating age my guns were much cleaner than usual. My daughter often times found me cleaning them at just the time boys were due to pick her up for dates. My daughter and grandchildren brand a certain facial expression I give when I disapprove of something "the look".

When a date would come to pick up my daughter I would clean on the gun for a minute, then give them "the look". Rinse and repeat. It seemed to be a pretty effective form of intimidation.

J/C

I was a big boy in HS. The vast majority of girls I picked up would try the "intimidation" tactics you guys are talking about. I always laughed, as those same vast majority of guys would try to act tough simply for their own ego.

Their "looks" or comments were simply nothing more that a stroke of their own insecurities. I always treated everyone's daughter with respect, so there was no need for any confrontation - but it was still none the less amusing to me. They would have been squashed in a minute if an altercation broke out between the two of us.

I find it funny that some of the old guys feel they need a gun to intimate a 16 year old. If your so insecure about yourself that you cannot intimidate a 16 year simply by your own stature and tone of voice - I feel sorry for you.

We couldn't just beat the crap out of minors without going to jail. If parents could have, I'm pretty sure you would have been high on their list.

He still is high on the list. LOL

Once again, the point is completely over your head.

I never said you needed to beat a kid up. I said if you needed a gun to intimate a kid, that says a lot about you.

Nobody said I needed it. It was just a fun. I didn't have to say anything or really do anything. But since you're on your troll rant today, I can understand how felt some need to follow me around and pick a fight.

You're really not worthy of the bother. And you're not the brave soul you pretend ro be either.

I have no problem with some rules for picking up my daughter (like have a freaking shirt on)

.. but what seems to be missing from this whole conversation is that most of y'all seem to have zero trust in your own daughter.

If y'all think you need guns out or any other kind of real intimidation to get a HS boy to act right.. then you must think your own daughter is a horrible judge of character or completely lacks the self-control to think for herself in the moment if the boy starts misbehaving...

I'm fully aware of what HS boys are like, I was one and I just raised one... but Swish, worry more about teaching your daughters the right kind of boys to date, teach them to respect themselves and be willing to stand up for themselves and their own convictions.. and they will attract the right kind of boys.

Well said DC.

And I agree.

Last word?

I was a teen age boy myself. One who got very good grades and played high school sports. But I understand that if you don't plant a seed of doubt into a boys mind, he may be trying to plant a seed somewhere else.

It has nothing to do with your daughter. It's about possibly preventing a situation she doesn't need to face in the first place.

It's often those supposed good boys who really aren't good boys at all.

If you think cleaning your gun was going to inhibit that boy from wanting to have sex with your daughter because he thought you might shoot him, then you don't understand teenage boys at all.

I also good good grades, played sports, dressed respectably, etc.. I took girls out, some of their dads had guns in the house, some of them had big brothers who could have pulverized me... but at the end of the evening, generally, if she was willing, so was I...

j/c:

Well, this thread started off good. Then, people had to flex their internet muscles telling others how screwed up they are.

Congrats.....you guys win.

No way.



Pit, I bet you had that beard in high school.

I did have that beard in high school.

Did it have all that gray in it?

I actually don't believe anything will stop a boy from "wanting to have sex with a girl". I do however believe that it may persuade him not to have sex with "that girl".

At least a smart guy. There are plenty of girls whose fathers certainly aren't considered quite the threat that others are. A smart kid would follow through with the date than move on if he didn't really care about the girl.

And actually that isn't really what this is about for me. I don't really blame a kid for being a kid. From being a normal boy. What I don't want to do is risk a higher percentage of putting my child in danger. Some people, including boys, don't know how to take no for an answer. A lot of girls face date rape and sexual assault.

Now maybe my actions wouldn't stop something like that. But on the other hand, often times bullies and those who commit violent acts against girls and women are looking for an easy target. If I can make that target look more difficult and make the risk greater, it certainly helps the odds IMO