DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum help? rough night

ahhhh....hello all, I'm askin for some advice/help.

I'm back in town for Thanksgiving break and tonite I was out at a bar (in Binghamton, NY) drinkin back at home. Well. I met a girl and had a good time, got to know her and offered to give her a ride home.

Well, I did that and was invited in, and during that time, her ex-boy was giving her a hard time via calling (her not answering) and leaving voicemails. Well he cheated on her and they broke up and i feel like i may have been a rebound for the night. However, we got along real well and things were going well. And we were going to sleep, in her bed, but nothing was happening...just cuddling. I try to be a nice guy, i dont wanna be that guy that tries to be a perv. But, we laid together and kissed some, and i had to go to the bathroom.

Well, i got out of the bathroom, and her ex-boy was there, and wasnt happy, and was all angry, being a guy who just met this girl and isnt a fighter, he essentially threw me out of the house. So I left, because Im not a fighter. But this girl was so nice and we got along so well, and Id like to see her again.

Im wonderin what would be a good way to see her again. Heres the catch thouse. She leaves town in the morning to head back home (on Long Island) and will be back sunday, the day I have to head back to school. I wanna see her again, but my only chance would be to do something......Maybe Sunday...and that isnt a guarantee, Id have to show up and hope that kid isnt there, since he's not happy with me.

But this kid cheated on her...she said....and id like to see her again because we got along very well, and i find her very attractive.

So....since all i I know is that her name is kate and where she lives, im thinking that sunday I should go to her house and maybe, leave a note or something...or if shes there talk to her....but, i dunno.

Its a really awkward situation and I dunno how to react. I know that letting it go would prolly be the most simple situation. But im very drawn to this girl and would like to see her again. What do you guys think would be the best way to go about this?

it appears that this guy still wants her, but he cheated on her, and she said she doesnt want him anymore, but he showed up ready to fight, which isnt my style...especially with a girl ive only just met, so im not gonna fight for her, cuz i dunno her all that well...but id like to.

I dunno what to do. I want to pursue her...but...as of what went on, it appears like a relatively ugh idea.

ideas? i dunno what to do? im askin for opinions from you guys. She wont be back in town until sunday, and id like to see her. Should i make an attempt? or should i just let it go? or take a chance? or leave a note with her friends? or ? idk? im a big fan of this girl. so far.

My thoughts fwiw,

Leave this train wreck in the rear view mirror and don't look back.

It sounds like this girls ex is a psycho-stalker sick SOB, till he's permanently out of the picture you'll have no chance with this girl, you should have kicked his ass right there and then, or called the cops.....I'd consider looking for love in other pastures if I were you.....good luck

riddler/62.

ugh. youre prolly right. i shouldve fought, but i was just caught really off guard cuz he was just there in her room, in the amount of time that i went #1, (ie he got upstairs). I didnt even see her...just some dude opened the door when i knocked, cuz it was closed.

It didnt help that he called while we were in the bar, and i answered upon her request out of fun and said, dude you shouldnt have cheated on her. And was pissed. but. Oh well?

lame. i wish things wouldve been as simple as they were before this kid showed up. I was just caught so far off guard...that i was more like, how did you get up there so quickly, more than, what are you doing here? and, i didnt even see her, i was just like, fine....ima get my shoes, and im gone...im not gonna deal with this.

I figured, theres no reason to fight, when i can just come back another day...and make amends and go with it. but, idk.

ugh

. I wish there was a better option. thats been my only thought. but i wish there was something else to do. *sigh*

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Leave this train wreck in the rear view mirror and don't look back.

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Trust me.

Don't know her at all, but this sounds like a potential train wreck. I'd tell her if she calls again maybe, but not now.

1. Nothing wrong with not being a fighter.....

2. But Sometimes ya have to fight...pick when you have to fight, go get some training.

3. Yes you were a rebound...nothig wrong with that, no strings attached....but really get your behind out of this......no women is worth that crap. If it's gonna be let her know to get her life worked out, put him in the past, and when she's done all that to give ya a call.

Slip out the back jack, make a new plan stan,, you don't need to be coy Roy,, just listen to me... Hop on the bus Gus,,, you don't need to discuss much,, just drop off the key Lee,, and get yourself FREE!

Or, in the words of that old Country and Western favorite,,'


Move along lil Doegie,, Move along!

She has unresolved issues... if you see her, tell her to call you when they are resolved... then play it by ear from that point...

Did you ever lie to a girl?
Ever think she may not be completely truthful with you?
hard to build a real relationship when you pick up a gal in a bar...get invited home with her...sleep with her...all in the first evening....and then get threatened with bodily harm by a pyscho boyfriend.

He doesn't realize that the ex in ex boyfriend means go away!

Start over tonight in the same bar 30 minutes earlier this time...see who shows up.

Also....

At this age the good guy.....YOU....99.9% of the time gets screwed over....Young girls like the ya he cheated but he's sorry and wont do it again thing, sorta a bad boy thing, If your to nice she'll dump ya once her ex returns..cheated or not...if you want any chance with her drop off your number make yourself availible but stop at that, dont seem desperate or eager to see her, make it as if ya call ya do if ya dont ya dont...

My Ex-Wife before we started dating wanted nothing to do with me, that was until I gave up on her and showed her no attention and didnt want her...


If I know now what I didnt know than......

Don't get involved with a girl just coming out of a traumatic relationship situation. Her emotions and feelings for her ex will be up and down, and most likely she will forgive him if it's the first time.

She "statistically" will not leave him this quickly without giving him another chance.

Enjoy the time you shared, but move on. You even said you were home, meaning your away at school most of the time... Distance relationships seldom work. Especially when your young.

Gimmie three steps, gimme three steps Mr.,
Give me three steps towards the door.

Gimmie three steps, gimme three steps Mr.,and you'll never see me no more.


That stupid bimbo was setting you up dude. She knew the dude was going to show up. How the heck did he get in???.....he had a key is the answer.

She didn't do the deed because she just wanted to tick this guy off, and make him mad when he showed up. Not to get too personal here, so take no offense here....but she probably picked you up because you aren't a fighter....she didn't want some tough as leather cowboy who might actual stand there and kick the crap out of her boyfriend.

Let the little manipulating beach go her miserable little way.

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Let the little manipulating beach go her miserable little way.

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you always have a way with words...But tell us how you really feel......

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but my only chance would be to do something......Maybe Sunday..

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There ya go...invite her to watch the Browns game...and if she turns you down...then you know she isn`t right...

If you don`t try....you`ll always wonder what if.......and if you go for it...and it does`nt work out.....at least you`ll have learned something....and it will be easier to move on...

Ok last comment


I'm 45 and have some what the same experiances a couple times like you...Hot girl, you like her, wanna see her again...wonder what if.....

honestly when your my age your gonna look back and laugh about this, you gonna look back without wonder and chulk it up to growing up experiances...You gonna say that was one fun night...and that how you should leave this, one fun night....there are alot of guys who never get to pick up a chick and take them home from a bar....My buddies one, We use to tease him he couldnt even pick up the gramma who picked up the under age girls at the bars..30 years ago it was alittle diffent getting in bars...but really in 20-25 years your gonna think back and smile about this....but dont ever wonder what if....Life is to short to worry about what if's, just enjoy the what happened...

I gotta say King, I agree with Peen... the whole thing looks like a set up. He cheated on her, she wanted to show him how that feels so she brings you home, takes you right to the edge but won't seal the deal... he calls, then he shows up and sees your car there, just like she knew he would... You leave. Hell it wouldn't surprise me if they weren't in the sack 30 minutes after you were out the door.

As for not fighting, you did exactly the right thing. You fight for your family, your loved ones, those who mean a lot to you... no way a girl you met 2 hours ago means that much. If you win, you likely end up in jail, ruin your thanksgiving and have it on your record... If you lose, you have the crap beaten out of you, aches, pains, black eyes, broken ribs, ruins your thanksgiving (or worse the guys a total psycho and pulls a knife or a gun).... It's a no win brother... Not to mention, my philosophy has always been, I don't want to be with a girl just because I can beat up some other guys... seems like a rather shallow basis for a relationship. I'll fight to protect them, but not to impress them.

Sorry to hear about it. I wouldn't have fought either. I've always been willing to sacrifice pride to keep my bones intact. I'd fight if I needed to, mind you, but this certainly wasn't the type of situation where I'd feel I needed to.

Put the ball in her court, and you'll find out real quickly what's up. Call her (I wouldn't leave a note for concern that "ex" boyfriend gets it and now has your cell number) and say "hey, sorry things didn't work out last night. My number is..... I'd really like to hear from you. It was great meeting you and I look forward to hearing from you.", and leave it at that.

You've said nothing that was untrue, but you've put the ball in her court. If she really wants to get to know you or something, she'll call you. If she doesn't, you haven't put yourself out there too much.

And, make sure you don't fall into the "the only reason I'm really attracted to this girl or even thinking about her is because I know I can't have her" type mindset. Believe me, we've all been there. But, it generally doesn't work out for the guy in your position.

I have a simple philosophy in life. If someone wants to do something bad enough, they'll find a way to do it. If she is truly interested in you, or if she is truly over her ex, she'll find a way to get past it all. If you don't hear from her, that means she really didn't want anything anyway, and you're no worse for the wear, just another experience to learn from.

What was her whole reaction when the "ex" showed up??

Dont ever talk to her again. Let it go buddy.

Her having you answer the phone when he called her pretty much tells me that she wanted him to get jealous. But it sounds like you really like her and if you have her phone number, call her Sunday. I wouldn't leave a note just in case the ex swings on by to see what she is doing again and has your number now.

King,

Just be glad that you've gotten to experience a girl showing interest in you! I'm sure 337 and myself would have died for that opportunity! Well, me at least.

You can also just give her your # and let her know that she can call you when and ONLY when she dumps this excess baggage....You definately have to be the one set the ground rules here.

King, you gotta be smarter than this, come on.

I'm sorry Steve...but I find it hilarious how you go to the bathroom, then come out, and the ex is there in the room. Talk about the ultimate blank-block.

That would be one awkward situation. Makes me think of a scene in Dumb and Dumber. "Big gulps huh? Welp, see ya later."

Sounds like a classic case of "Olive Oil Syndrome" to me

I'd stay away

Just get on down , get on down the road ! .. Give here your phone number and a dime !

By the way Danielle, I think it's very mean that you make your baby do push-ups like that...

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Her having you answer the phone when he called her pretty much tells me that she wanted him to get jealous.

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Yeah pretty much shows what kind of character she has. King, forget about her. She's just another brain-dead whore.

it was so awkward.

well...After thinkin about it, ive come up with...so bizarre.

thanks for the advice. The overwhelming see ya appears to be the route. ohhhhh well

While it's probably the best route to take, King, you need to make sure you're making this decision on your own. Only you know how you feel and the entire situation (as much as anyone can know it, at least).

It might be worth giving her a call and letting her call you back. Not knowing is a terrible thing, and you may always have the "what if" in the back of your mind.

But, that's JMHO. I'm sure you'll make the right decision.

Run away! Don't walk....RUN!!!!!

Chalk it up to experience and move on . That situation could have turned real ugly partner so if I were you I would let it become just another one of those stories you tell of a crazy night you spent with this girl and look for a better choice . Good luck and have fun .

yup

moving on. what a bizarre night