DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Favortism in High School Sports - Personal Story

So, my daughter is entering her freshman year at a Catholic School in Northeast Ohio. She tried out for the volleyball team this week and didn't make it. Problem is, My daughter has been a prominent player on her k-8 school's team over the last few years. They won 4 in-season tournaments during this span, and took home the whole enchilada this past fall, winning the league championship. -- To which she played a prominent role on the team.
My daughter also plays club volleyball -- while there are about 10 teams for her age group at the club level, she made a prestigious national team, and has been on it for 3 years. Again, to which she has played a prominent role.

So, we get the results of who made the freshman team a couple days ago. Two of the players that made it play at the same club as my daughter, but are clearly not as good as her, and this is evidenced by them playing on regional teams. -- Not national.

One of the kids who made the team has wealthy parents and a relative that has given over 25,000 in donations per the school website. The other kid has a helicopter mom who is in constant contact with the coaches.


To make matters worse, there are two other kids that play on my daughters national club team. -- They both made the JV squad.

I emailed the ad and the coaches and they gave me a fluff excuse about how she should join a club and work on a few skills. -- When I replied that not only has she played club for years, she also plays on one of the national teams. I didn't bring up the fact that two of the kids who made the team are on remedial regional teams.

The ad replied that the results were final, better luck next year. Part of me wants to start contacting people on the board and at diocesan headquarters and demand an investigation. However, this is my kids first year at the school and obviously, I don't want to ruffle too many feathers.

Today, my daughter received several text messages from her friends, asking which team she made- as they assumed she made freshman and though highly enough about her that they figured she may have made the JV team. When she told them that she didn't make a team at all, they were stunned. Noting that it didn't make any sense.

I've talked to a couple of my friends who went to Diocesan schools and they said "welcome to the club" this is how it works in Catholic schools, all politics".

My reason for this rant: Can somebody relate here? Can somebody talk me off this imaginary ledge before I send a few emails and make a few phone calls that I might regret?

Thank You friends.

I'd consider switching schools... I went to a catholic high school but thankfully was a small school and didn't have this type of crap... but it doesn't surprise me at all...

I'd be ticked if I were you... thankfully as a freshman she'll have more opportunities... but still sucks... I was blessed that I sucked at any sport with a ball, so I did track and cross country... harder to get people through based on nepotism there.. all that mattered was my times during time trials...

I would look at sending her to another school.

As much as it may suck, I would advise not contacting anyone and griping. If, IF your daughter goes to that school for all 4 years, if you gripe she'll have a black mark next to her name.

I went to a Catholic grade school for 8 years and a Catholic highschool for 4 years.....both in northeast Ohio. Graduated in 75.

Something just doesn't sound right. Then again, on the flip side, my father died young(in 73) and I had to quit football and get an "after school job". After that I became somewhat of an "outcast".

Not necessarily from the teachers but moreso the other students and/or players. Ehh, perhaps a teacher or 2

Good luck. PM me. Interested in what highschool. Could be the same school. Just curious.

It's certainly not restricted to Catholic schools. I went to a very small, rural school. It was quite easy to see that kids like the principals kids, teachers kids, school board members kids and children of those parents who were very involved in the school received preferential treatment in terms of sports as well as other things. It was the nature of the beast as they say. Luckily with being a small school, in team sports they needed every student that could play average or above just to fill a roster. But man, when your #1 guard in basketball and the teams starting QB both suck and only hold those positions because their parents are on the faculty, it's pretty deflating for the players. Neither were positions that I played or wanted to play so it didn't impact me directly. But I certainly had friends far better at those positions who should have started and had more playing time that were cheated out of it the very same way your daughter is.

I don't know what you should do. I think arch had a great point if you plan on her attending that same school throughout high school. I think if you stir things up you take a very high risk of her not being treated fairly her entire time in high school. One thing people in power at any level hate is being questioned on their power.

Thanks to everybody for the responses.-- And most importantly, go Browns tonight!

My wife received texts from several parents last night who called the entire situation "disgusting" -- absolutely dumbfounded as all of their kids (my daughter's club mates) are getting placed on JV teams. When they heard about who had made the freshman team at my daughter's school, it pretty much opened up the floodgates and parents started telling us story after story about how "cliquish" of a school it is. -- And now I know why none of them sent their kids to this school.

It's situations like this where the only thing that makes sense is that things happen for a reason.

As for how I handled things... I kept the correspondence with the AD and coaches respectful. - Sent in the email asking them to reconsider, ad said results are final, so my next correspondence was to thank him for his response, and ask if there were any other sports/activities that she could attempt to join. Cross country and soccer. Her and my wife went out and bought a pair of soccer cleats and shinguards. She observed soccer practice today, and the coach briefed her and my wife on his expectations - apparently he was really cool. When my wife told him about her volleyball accomplishments, he asked why she didn't make the team. - My wife gave him a look and he was like "ahhh, well we don't play favorites in soccer." -- Good to hear. So she has a tryout with the soccer team tomorrow. I'm willing to bet that if she makes the soccer team, she'd fall in love with soccer and that would be her fall sport for the next 4 years. --She still has club volleyball, which starts in November.

I'll fill you all in as the events occur.

Thanks again Gents.

I

And maybe if you decide to transfer to a different school it will be for a reason.

That just sucks. I don't know the full situation, but I'd have a hard time letting that go. I'd demand an explanation as to why students that didn't achieve what your daughter has can make the team ahead of her. The AD answers to somebody, go to them. It sounds like you have connections in the vb scene, I'd be name dropping big time. Unfortunately, in this day and age, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Having a reputation as a loudmouth who can't be pushed around isn't always a bad thing....especially if you're right and the truth is on your side. I feel bad for your daughter, those 4 hs years are short and fly by. I remember watching my son's first varsity football start, and in the blink of an eye we were standing on the field with him on parents night for his last game as a senior.

It's definitely good to be getting a good situation with soccer.

You're not going to win any battles fighting the system. If anything, you're just making life more difficult (especially for your daughter). Let this experience be a data point, and if the data starts to show it's not a good environment, then switch up schools.

Hopefully this experience doesn't taint her view towards volleyball. She should definitely keep playing on the club teams if her schedule allows.

I think it's a two way street and while I understand the point you're making and don't really disagree with you, I would like to make a counterpoint.

Sometimes life lessons are the responsibility parents have to weigh out and consider. And while you may be right that, "You're not going to win any battles fighting the system", there comes a point when your children need to be taught the lesson that there comes a point when you must stand up for yourself. That if you permit people to step on you at every turn your life will spent as a door mat.

So I can see how this would be a difficult decision for any parent to have to consider. Would there be backlash from the school and some in the administration moving forward? Quote possible. But when is enough enough? At what point do you feel it's worth the possible consequences for standing up for what is right? I believe that's something that only his daughter and himself can decide.

Again guys, Thank you again for the replies and advice. I was going to write a draft email yesterday then re-read and possibly send today. - This one wasn’t going to be nice and was going to include the contact info from her previous club coaches (all of whom coach varsity teams). I was going to raise discrimination as the only reason why she wasn’t placed on the team. - Discrimination because she doesn’t have family alumni and discrimination because we haven’t made any donations yet. - A couple lower caliber players that made the team have these attributes on their sides.
However, I came home and my wife and kid essentially begged me not
To do it. They noted that it wasn’t my decision, my high school experience, etc. I told my wife that we can’t let the kid get treated differently at this stage because it could carry over to the academic side of things. - Should that happen, should my kid start receiving what we feel are unfair grades, and experience more exclusion from school teams/clubs. Then yes, we’ll let the administrators know our feelings and at that point, will switch schools.
For right now, I want to demand an investigation, but my wife and daughter really, really, really, don’t want me to. - And they’re right, it isn’t my choice at this point.

On the flip side, the soccer coach has been incredible. We met the guy three days ago and he’s already given my kid his cell number and has been encouraging her to follow her passion and to join the soccer team only if she really wants to. - Everything you’d want in a coach. It’s the kid’s decision but I’m hoping that she’s up tomorrow and wanting to go to soccer practice.

My advice is this:


1. It's not how things start. It's how they end. If your daughter has the talent, it will work out. Didn't Michael Jordon get cut from his basketball team at one point? If she is new to the school, those things happen. Coaches go with what they know. Next year they will know her.

2. The further along the athletic path, or any path for that matter, you have less and less control over what happens and as a parent you can't fight her fight. I think most parents face something like this in one way or the other. In the end, as hard as it seems now, not making the 9th grade volleyball team is small beans. Refer back to point 1.

That stuff happens all the time, unfortunately. A few years ago when I was still a sportswriter there was a junior B hockey coach in my area (Similar to division 3 football, is my rough guess) whose son played on the team, a decent player but nothing special, but his dad put him on the top line, gave him lots of ice on the power play to help pad his stats but the kid wasn’t cutting it.

Thing is, the other players saw what the deal was and revolted, and the coach got fired. The players knew it was unfair and that it was hurting the team.

Players KNOW when sketchy things are going on and sooner or later, the sour cream falls to the bottom.