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Why don't they speak English?

I have this thing in my side, that is hard and pronouced when I stand, but disappears when I sit or lay down. What are the test results?

RELATIVE LARGE HETEROGENEOUSLY HYPOECHOIC LESION IS APPRECIATED
CORRESPONDING TO THE PATIENT'S PALPABLE ABNORMALITY WITHIN THE RIGHT
LOWER QUADRANT ABDOMINAL WALL, LIKELY RELATED TO LARGE FAT-CONTAINING
HERNIA OR LIPOMA.

What the heck does that all mean???? lol

Sounds like doc's way of saying "Hey, that may be a hernia".

You know they get paid by the syllable, right?

Probably. lol

Pretty much what Fate said, lol. Suspected :phernia in the lower right side of the stomach area.



Yes, when you stand straight up , your stomach muscles are stretched or flexed that is why it is pronounced or bulging. Same as when u are laying down straight as a board.

When u are sitting your stomach muscles are relaxed, so it’s not pronounced or basic terms not sticking out. If you have a patient with stomach pains or some issue, we would have the patient lay down and have them bend their knees (like u would in a sit up position) this takes the pressure off their stomach by relaxing the abdominals. This is usually the position of comfort as it relieves the pressure.

This is assumption and might not be true for you - lower quadrants typically can be hernias due to the intestine issue like a twisted bowl (more serious) or just the intestine moving out of place (not as serious, but an issue).

Or to keep it on a lighter note. There’s this movie from the 80s, where an alien popped out a dudes stomach…so I wouldn’t rule out that possibility

Yes, that would be much more deserving of that technical mumbo-jumbo they laid on YTown!

I was expecting the clip to be from Aliens. I went up to the plate focused on Aliens or Spaceballs, and you threw the curveball. Got’em.

It's really scary how much Doctors DON"T know. But in your case it's just a hernia or lipoma. Hell my hernia pops out like a turkey timer at least a dozen times a day. I just push it back in.

Basically they are repeating exactly what you told them, but making it sound fancy and charging you for it.

They’re not much different than car mechanics. A lot of trial and error until they find the problem.

If they're that kind of mechanic, they also could be the kind that upsells you bogus stuff to make a buck because "you" don't know any better until you're broke/dead. ...Sorry, I'm grumpy most mornings.

I'm not sure your Doctors are either type, though, YTown. To me, the "conclusion" after the comma reads like they are assuming the problem is because you are overweight without really looking into it much. "Hard and pronounced" and Lipoma (basically a loose glob of fat) don't really seem to go together to me, though I'm no doctor.

Edit: It sounds like you got an ultrasound, hypoechoic appears to mean that what they were looking at showed up darker (less reflection of sound waves) than the surrounding tissue. The heterogeneous part seems to indicate a varying shape or consistency, i.e, possibly muscle and fat instead of just one or the other, which to me, would make hernia the more likely "diagnosis." (Of the options given)

That explains the problem with your exhaust, GM. They never reinstalled the catalytic converter to control the toxic fumes!

j/c:

I've always thought I had a lipoma between my belly button and sternum .... now I think it may be a hernia instead....I don't know though. It doesn't hurt.

Sounds like my hiatal hernia. It doesn't really hurt, but definitely was causing some acid related issues.

I love these impressions. "Relative large"? Relative to what, lol. They way you describe it sure sounds like a hernia, but that ultrasound isn't definitive. Hopefully they'll do some further investigation.

"...what we have is a relatively large mass in your stoma..."

"How large, doc... how large???"

"Well, Mr Jones, it's smaller than a beach ball but larger than a bowling ball. You should be fine"

I'm pretty sure mine would be a epigastric hernia if it isn't a lipoma... It fits the description [of a epigastric hernia].

Attorneys are much the same way (I am one), and I think it's all part of the ruse.

Do we need to start documents with four sentences that all begin "Whereas" or use words like "chattel"?

No, but it gives off the impression that we're smart.

I think everybody does that. Tech dudes are the worst. They'll sit there and monkey around for a half hour solving a five minute problem... mumbling technical jargon the entire way through.

Sounds like you need Dr. Pimple Popper.

This thing in my side is about the size of a small eggplant, narrower at the front, and thicker towards the back. in the middle of my side. It does hurt. It also goes away when I sit down, or lay down. Weird.

I also have to go get an x-ray on my right shoulder. I know what a torn rotator cuff feels like ..... as I have had 2 in my lifetime. (so far) This sure feels like another.

I am trying to find a third medical issue requiring surgery so I might be able to get a one person group discount. lol

In regards to the rotator cuff. I suggest you keep your pitch count down.

My pitch range is about 3 1/2 feet. I can only lift my arm about 1/3 of the way, and I can no longer reach behind my back.

It's a fun time in my family.

LOL, sounds like the engineers I work with. Those guys have acronyms for acronyms I feel like.

Good grief, sorry man. You've certainly experienced your fair share of physical challenges over the years.

Just lucky, I guess. My best friend since Middle School, has had far worse than I have. I have sometimes joked that I am gaining on him, and something else happens to him .... so I have stopped that joke.

Being in the construction field they used to drive me up a wall. In the end I used to ask them how they suggested I accomplish what they had put on paper? Or how what they put on paper would work and function over a long period of time? In the end, in the vast majority of cases they had no idea. While I understand that an architect is much different than an engineer, the same problem exists. I worked a project on a building designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. There were always constant problems with that building both before and after I worked on that project. While from the perception of optics it was a beautiful structure, the practicality and functionality of it was a complete disaster.

I can imagine!

I wonder how it was for all the people who have actually done the hands on work putting together La Sagrada Familia.

I had no idea what that was until I Googled it. lol But after seeing it I can't even imagine.

The construction trades are crazy. It seems like there's always three trades saying "now who the hell thought that would be a good idea?"... and three others saying "well how the hell do expect me to do that before they've done that?".

It's funny from the outside looking in -- probably pretty frustrating from the other side.

Lol. After a lithotripsy procedure to remove a kidneys stone...

Doc: "I've got good news and good news. First good news for you -- you're stone free. Next good news for you and your insurance company... we noticed a stone right side as well, so we removed them both!"

What I didn't realize: Now I have stents tugging on both kidneys.

When I realized it was going to be a big problem: The first time had to pee... I went from vague urge to pee to "I'm going to die if I don't pee"... in about 20 seconds.

What I was doing the next day: Rock concert. 😮

[quote=YTownBrownsFan

I am trying to find a third medical issue requiring surgery so I might be able to get a one person group discount. lol[/quote]

I'm not making light of your situation here, at all.

My dad, a number of years ago, went to the e.r. for stomach pain. It was in the early afternoon, after his mom's funeral visitation.

E.R. released him but said if anything changes, come back. It changed. Second time to the e.r.

They released him. Our family was at my sis's house, and mom and dad showed up after the second release from e.r.

Couple hours later, dad went BACK to the e.r. for the third time. That time they said "Mr. X, you've set a record for e.r. visits in a day. We're keeping you tonight and you'll have surgery in the morning, first thing."

He got that done - I was at the hospital at 6 a.m., as were much of the rest of the family. It went well, but he missed his mom's funeral.




Maybe that can put a small smile on your face?

It can sometimes be frustrating but I did find a way to mitigate that frustration to at least some extent. Most every problem can be dealt with for a price. I would often ask my superior if he had any suggestions on how to address some of these issues which was usually followed by him asking why I couldn't figure it out. I always told him I had no problem figuring it out but my solution was both material and labor intensive so it would come at a costly price. Then I went over my solution and the costs that would be involved. They would almost always approve it which prevented any repercussions from falling back on me.

Ugh, man. I remember I stupidly asked a coworker what it felt like passing a kidney stone and he deadpanned me and said "Like you're ****ing peeing out a small rock through your urethra, dumbass." Haha.

Well, YT, just be happy that your docs put in the time to learn all of that to confuse you. After the hell they paid during the pandemic, I would have left the field.

And best wishes for a fast recovery from your hernia and procedure to repair it.

Went to my new Urologist ln Monday. He asked when the last time was that I had a kidney stone. (as part of his regular workup) I tole him it had been about 20 years ...... until tonight, when I went to the ER, feeling like someone sawed me apart at the waist.

Bleh. I don't like pain.

Man Y, I'm so sorry. That is the worst. Did they tell you the size; do you know if you can pass it?

They said that it was large enough that the doctor saw it immediately on the CT scan. It was killing me. However, a couple of IV bags of fluids, and some pain killers, and I was somewhat as good as new. I don't know if it passed, but I am peeing without blood, or pain. They gave me Toredol for the painn to the Pharmacy yet,

Lotsa water bro.

Hit me up if you're having issues, need any advice or just need an ear. I've had more stones than most of these doctors have treated. Funny/not funny/true

This was my 2nd ... and it was more than enough.

Can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure, don’t really want it