DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Palus Politicus Political Jokes Pt. 4

If I'm going to take health advice from a former heroin addict I choose Keith Richards.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3dr0zrr1kpo

The very definition of a snowflake.... what a cry baby.

Donald Trump has demanded an investigation into what he called a "triple sabotage" during his visit to the United Nations General Assembly on Wednesday.

In a post on social media, the US president referred to an escalator abruptly stopping as he and First Lady Melania Trump stepped on, a teleprompter malfunctioning during his speech, and an audio issue in the auditorium.

A UN official said the sound system was designed to allow people to hear translated speeches through earpieces.

The UN previously said a safety mechanism might have been triggered by Trump's videographer who had been travelling backwards up the escalator while the teleprompter belonged to the US delegation.

Trump criticised the incidents on Truth Social and said he was sending a letter to the UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres demanding an immediate probe.

"A REAL DISGRACE took place at the United Nations yesterday - Not one, not two, but three very sinister events!" he wrote.

"This wasn't a coincidence, this was triple sabotage at the UN. They ought to be ashamed of themselves."

He also called for the arrest of the people responsible for the escalator incident, referencing an article in the Times, external that said UN workers joked about turning off the escalators.

"This was absolutely sabotage... All security tapes at the escalator should be saved, especially the emergency stop button. The Secret Service is involved," Trump added.

Mike Waltz, US ambassador to the UN, echoed the president's call for an official probe, saying the incidents were "unacceptable".

"The United States will not tolerate threats to our security or dignity at international forums. We expect swift cooperation and decisive action," he wrote on X.

On Wednesday, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt raised concerns that someone deliberately stopped the escalator.

"If someone at the UN intentionally stopped the escalator as the President and First Lady were stepping on, they need to be fired and investigated immediately," she wrote on X after the incident.

Stephane Dujarric, spokesperson for Guterres, said Trump's videographer "may have inadvertently triggered the safety function" while filming the couple.

After the escalator mishap, Trump ran into more technical difficulties when he said the teleprompter was not working - although it was restored towards the end of his address.

"I can only say that whoever's operating this teleprompter is in big trouble," he said.

A UN official later told the BBC the White House was operating the teleprompter at the time, bringing their own laptops and plugging them into the UN's system.

Trump also referred to audio issues in his lengthy post, saying "the sound was completely off in the Auditorium".

"World Leaders, unless they used the interpreters' earpieces, couldn't hear a thing," he added.

In response to Trump's comments, a UN official said: ''The sound system was designed to allow people at their seats to hear speeches being translated into six different languages through earpieces."

Sadly this isn't a joke although it sounds as if it should be.

No it is a joke - he is the joke. It's absolutley pathetic.

Dumbest thread in the history of DT.

Dearest Mother,

I write to you from the front lines of The Great Portland Conflict of '25, where our battalion bravely holds the lines between the artisanal kombucha stand and the vegan taxidermy co-op. The enemy, armed with reusable tote bags and passive-aggressive signage, launched a surprise assault during our morning mindfulness drills. Our oat milk rations are low, and Private Jasper refuses to fight until his chakras are realigned. Pray for us Mother and send more flannel.

PYONGYANG—Kim Jong Un was incandescent with rage on Wednesday as he accused Donald J. Trump of stealing his idea of gathering his top military brass for an orgy of propaganda.

“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” Kim said of Tuesday’s event in Quantico, Virginia. “That azzhole totally ripped me off.”

“The summoning of the nation’s generals, the insistence on loyalty, the unhinged rhetoric—I had all of that,” the North Korean dictator added. “The only thing I didn’t have was the weird drunk guy with all the makeup.”

In another accusation, Kim claimed Trump lifted his idea of attacking American cities, stating, “Washington DC, Los Angeles, Chicago—they were all on my target list. The only one I didn’t have was Portland. Why is he attacking Portland? That makes zero sense.”

Andy Borowitz

I'm pretty sure this is real:

Kim Jong Un orders North Koreans to check women for ‘un-socialist’ breast implants

https://metro.co.uk/2025/10/01/kim-...lants-24310489/#metro-comments-container

P.S. Where do I apply?

[social:tweet]https://x.com/TheBabylonBee/status/1972768366159872232/photo/1[/social]

How come my link didn't show?

Okay, here is the headline:

NFL Hoping To Win Back Conservatives With Super Bowl Performance By Spanish-Speaking Man In Dress

https://babylonbee.com/news/nfl-woo...ormance-by-spanish-speaking-man-in-dress

I think they just git tired of continually kissing your azzes to baby you.

Thanks to Republican policies everybody is arming up. It’s so easy to get an AR thanks to GOPers.

Ha-ha! If the Browns ever get in a Superbowl I want Metallica to play at halftime. (Love the band but burned out on them.) They would be great at halftime.

They certainly would! I'm certainly no fan of Bad Bunny. Metalic, Aerosmith, Counting Crows and even Pearl Jam would make me happy! I just realize that I am getting much older now and the NFL is a business. As such they have to play to the fans of the future and the younger generation. I also feel a lot of businesses are getting tired of having to second guess every decision they make based on politics. It's sad that it's gotten to this point and it comes from both sides.

To me? Rock has been dead since grunge faded away (I loved grunge). There has been some good rock songs, but that is that. The Foo Fighters wrote some good stuff. Most of the youth listen to rap now. Rock is played out. There are only so many ways you can play 12 notes in rock music and still make it catchy that hasn't been done before - sometimes over and over again, especially in the choruses of songs.

Randy Rhoads and many other rock guitarists would disagree with you. His along with the style of some others was rooted in classical styling.

The blues is mainly seven bars. In essence even a simpler form of music than R&R. I don't believe the blues is dead either. Most of the youth listened to disco at one time as well.

AMEN

#nightmarefuel

Thanks. So much.

Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating The Only Artist Who Can Perform The Super Bowl Halftime Show Is Creed

WASHINGTON, D.C. — America took yet another step away from destructive progressive policies and toward a new Golden Age today, as President Donald Trump signed an executive order mandating that the only musical act that can perform at the Super Bowl halftime show is Creed.

In response to widespread public outcry over the announcement that Bad Bunny would be featured at Super Bowl LX, President Trump took swift action to restore order and decency by signing an order that would ensure that, effective immediately, Creed — and Creed only — would play all future halftime shows.

"We're making the Super Bowl halftime show great again, folks," Trump told reporters in the Oval Office after signing the order. "For far too long, our great Super Bowl halftime show has been held hostage by the radical Left. Starting now, the only act that will perform at halftime of the Super Bowl will be Creed. Such a tremendous band. Have you seen them? The guitar riffs are incredible. And their lead singer. What's his name? Scott Stapp. We love Scott Stapp, don't we? ‘Golden Voice Scott' we call him."

As part of the executive order, Bad Bunny was to be detained and immediately deported to Puerto Rico, according to Deputy White House Chief of Staff Stephen Miller, who spearheaded the order. "This is a clear message to the radical Left," Miller said. "We won't tolerate these terrible Super Bowl halftime shows anymore. This is a new day in America. Creed symbolizes a return to what made this country great. Starting this year, and following with every year after, they will, in fact, take us higher."

At publishing time, the White House confirmed that the executive order included stipulations that bald eagles and motorcycle jumps would be included in each Creed performance.

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-s...rm-the-super-bowl-halftime-show-is-creed

You would think someone ordered the Cracker Barrel sign be changed again.

Very funny, Pit!

ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA—A federal judge dismissed all charges against former FBI Director James Comey on Wednesday after Donald J. Trump’s handpicked US attorney misspelled his name as “Homey.”

The attorney, Lindsey Halligan, begged the judge to overlook the error, which she blamed on “frickin’ autocorrect.”

“This is the first time I’ve charged someone,” Halligan pleaded. “Indictmenting is hard.”

In yet another embarrassing spelling goof, Halligan referred to the attorneys she ordered to charge Comey as his “persecutors.”

Andy Borowitz

Trump Rallies Angry Supporters Outside Nobel HQ in Oslo

OSLO, NORWAY (The Borowitz Report)—After promising on Truth Social that the gathering would be “wild,” on Friday Donald J. Trump summoned angry supporters to a rally outside the headquarters of the Norwegian Nobel Committee.

Urging his irate loyalists to “stop the steal,” Trump declared, “If you want to win the Nobel Peace Prize, you’ve got to fight like hell.”

In a brief public statement, the Norwegian Nobel Committee said, “What a F'ing baby.”......................

Trump Enraged After Nobel Peace Prize Goes to Bad Bunny

Alright. This is funny as all get out.