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This post is not meant to knock those of you who have children. I'm just wondering how much of a minority I am on this board. My wife and I have opted out of the parenting thing. We don't have children and have no plans on starting. I'm 35 she's 31. This isn't something we'll change our minds on at this point, as we are so often told by older couples when we speak of our future. "Oh you'll change your minds." as if we haven't thought this out.
Amongst our friends we have many couples who feel the same way. No children. Some of our friends are in their 40's and don't have kids. I've talked to them about how their lives differ from their friends lives that chose the "family" route. They seem content with their decision.
So my question to you... Am I alone on this board? Are there any other non breeders out there? How has this changed your lives? How have your family and friends treated your choice?
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My sister has chosen not to have kids..I know of several other couples that have made that decision as well.
That's such a personal choice...I really hate it when other people will ask a childless couple about their decision...it's nobody's business but their own.
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I'm single, and have no desire whatsoever to have children. And yeah ...... I've heard the whole "One day" speech too ........ but I'm 44 .... and still don't want screaming miniature humans running around. 
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
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I have 2 kids. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't ridicule or mock those who opt to not have kids though... (Not that I know very many people that don't have/want kids... they aren't usually at PTA meetings, soccer games, or the pediatricians office..  )
yebat' Putin
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Even though the whole idea of being a parent scares the bejesus out of me right now, you can mark me down as a "someday" guy.
My parents deserve to have the lessons they've taught me passed down, more specifically from my mom.
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I get almost harrassed about it at times. As though my choice is an affront to them. Like, "How could you do this?" Or I get "But you'd be such a great dad." As if that should be the only reason to have kids, because I'd be good at parenting. Forget the fact I don't want them.
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Ive never wanted kids. Im 29, maybe at some point that will change, my girlfriend of 3 years eventually wants kids but she is in no hurry to have them which is nice. I may change my mind, I just know that at this point, Im not ready for them, my nephew will do just fine for now. 
Eat it Phil...
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Quote:
Ive never wanted kids. Im 29, maybe at some point that will change, my girlfriend of 3 years eventually wants kids but she is in no hurry to have them which is nice. I may change my mind, I just know that at this point, Im not ready for them, my nephew will do just fine for now.
Just make sure you keep an open dialog about this subject. The last thing you'd want is a broken marriage because a differing opinion. I was lucky and found a wife that has no desire to have kids.
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All Pro
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Well I am 33 years old and dont have kids. When I was younger I always thought I would be married with 2.4 children but it just hasn't worked out that way for me. I want nothing more than to be a parent - its just I havent had the feeling of wanting to spend the rest of my life with any of my girlfriends so far. Without this I am not gonna just get a girl pregnant to make my dream of being a parent come true. In the meantime I have the next best thing - A nephew who is 5 and a niece who is 9 - and I get to give them back to their parents at the end of the day!
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Legend
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Y'know, just last night at 1:30 AM when I was cleaning up macaroni and cheese vomit from the hallway carpet I was thinking to myself... 
yebat' Putin
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Quote:
I get almost harrassed about it at times. As though my choice is an affront to them. Like, "How could you do this?" Or I get "But you'd be such a great dad." As if that should be the only reason to have kids, because I'd be good at parenting. Forget the fact I don't want them.
If I were you, I would smile politely and just say "I don't see where that is any of your business".
These people who say those things to you aren't intentionally being rude...but still they need to understand that it's none of their business, period.
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It's great being an uncle. All the joy, none of the responsibility.
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Me? I don't want kids...  Of course, I'm due in a month. And I really do want kids. Just a little joke. My sister never wanted children. But my beautiful nephew is 3 years old now and she's thrilled with having him. Of course, when she told me she never wanted kids, she was only 23-24 (she's 31 now). I know plenty of people that don't have children and won't in the future. Good for them if that's their decision. I know that those of my friends that don't have children will be great aunts and uncles to my baby. They've all got something really cool/interesting to teach. Don't let other people push their values on you. If you and your wife don't want children, you're old enough to say that it's pretty much a final decision (though, ya never know...we're having baby #1 at ages 38 and 34). In the meantime, have fun practicing!!  
![[Linked Image from i75.photobucket.com]](http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i302/lrhinkle/d5eaf0b9-e429-4211-b53f-b843bfcf6aa9_zps2ac17420.jpg) #gmstrong
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Your not wrong Portland!! - games on the Playstation and just generally messing around being childish ......
My nephew is amazing - he phones me at least twice a day and talks utter nonsense on the phone but I love it.
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Not for nothing, but to you and Portland, good family is as important as good parents in my book. Personally, I have 4 children. Kids need that objective adult advice quite often and often time, parents can be too biased. Between my parents and my brothers, I have a trusted support network.
So, whether or not you have children, you can still positively effect other children. Most of my friends have children, mostly due to the reasons DC mentioned, school, sports and birthday parties. I know a few couples who have no children, and they're happy enough. Sometimes I wish I had the freedom, but overall the rewards children bring are unique and priceless. I think that may be where the comments you receive come from. It's not meant to insult, it's just wishing that you knew the satisfaction.
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When I was your age (low to mid 30's) I felt the same way.. exactly the same way.. Well into my 40's I continued to feel the same way..
I'll be 56 this month... I wish I had kids...
I honestly came to the conclusion that I would NOT be a good father.. I thought my wife would be a good mom, but I didn't think I could be good for kids..
I was afraid of making too many mistakes and I didn't want to screw up a kid.
As I got older, I came to the conclusion that kids don't come with owners manuals.. Nobody expected me to be perfect.. except me.. and that was rather dumb as it turned out..
I look at myself today and I have to say, I would have been a pretty good dad I think..
Now, unless I adopt, it's not gonna happen.. It's too late and I"m sorry I missed out on that particular pleasure..
Today, I think I made a mistake.. I hope to god you never feel remorse! My best to you and your wife..
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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Add me to the list. My girlfriend and I have a cat, and he is our child. I in no way want kids (I'm 31), haven't had the itch in the past, and can honestly say I have no desire to in the future.
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I don't want a big family, just wanted one kid. So I'm done!
But I wouldn't feel like my life was complete if I didn't have a child. It changes your life for the best.
It seems like the people who I've talked to (and I'm not saying this is you/your wife's side) don't want children because they feel it would take time away from their social lives. Which sounds kind of selfish.
![[Linked Image from pic18.picturetrail.com]](http://pic18.picturetrail.com/VOL905/3216203/6567769/349897772.jpg) "The Browns' defense is kicking mucho dupa."
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I have 2 kids and love it!!!!
I don't knock people if they have kids, I don't knock them if they don't. I feel for the people that want them and CAN'T have them though.
It's a personal choice - whatever you think is right for you is what you should do.
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I don't have kids of my own, I have a stepson who is now 20, and have had him around since he was about 7 or 8. I also have alot of young cousins, and a niece, as well as a grand niece now.
There are times when I wonder if I made the wrong choice. but I can accept the fact I didn't and I have no regrets, just wonder sometimes how my life would be different if I had a kid 10-12 years ago.
We don't have to agree with each other, to respect each others opinion.
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I have three from my first marriage and two step kids, so theres five....and wouldnt trade a one, but as for having anymore....Nope My kids are daughter 21, Son 17 daughter 14...Step son 12, step daughter 8, so there pretty spread out.
Last edited by ClayM57; 02/12/08 12:09 PM.
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My girlfriend has three kids (one lives with us). I have no plans of ever having my own (biological) children. I'd be a horrible father.
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Quote:
I don't want a big family, just wanted one kid. So I'm done!
Coming from an only child, please think about this...that's all I'm going to say.
Portland -- as to not wanting to have children -- that's okay, too. It's your choice and that's all that should matter.
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
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I keep getting people saying that. I wanted one child, my wife wanted 2.
After Kenleigh, we pretty much settled on just one.
I'm not saying that we'll have all the problems with a second child as we've had when she was born or are having now with Kenleigh trying to get her to eat anything. But it's enough to make you very hesitant and happy enough to have one beautiful (but stubborn) little girl.
"The Browns' defense is kicking mucho dupa."
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I have been thinking more about it as I am getting older. If i had a child, there would be a 50/50 chance it would be born with RP. I do not know if I want to bring a child into that world. Is that responsible? I don't know. . . .
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Dyna and I are not having kids either. I've been torn on the subject a few times. There are times that I have wanted children, but I'm ok not having children too. I've seen a lot of things that make me want them and not want them. We've taken to spoiling the children in the neighborhood and our friends kids too. Dyna has a campout style sleep over twice a year for the kids in our yard. Tents, scary stories, marshmellows the whole works. Not to mention that at Christmas time I get the best presents.
KeysDawg
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. - Carl Sagan
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Never wanted kids but I have a 14 year old daughter and she is truely the reason I was put on Earth , on the days when I don't want to strangle her , .
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If you have complete days when you don't want to strangle her, your doing good
I AM ALWAYS RIGHT... except when I am wrong.
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Quote:
Never wanted kids but I have a 14 year old daughter and she is truely the reason I was put on Earth , on the days when I don't want to strangle her , .
Quote:
If you have complete days when you don't want to strangle her, your doing good
Amen to that, My daughter is also 14 so i feel your pain.....
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The wife wanted four. I wanted two. It took us three loooooooong years to get our first. And it was well worth the wait. Who knows what the Big Guy has planned for us during our eventual 2nd attempt.
My little sis (27) doesn't want kids.....but she's still a kid herself. She's a doctor and her husband is a high school teacher/football coach. They're both very, very busy. I see them as a "no-kids-couple" only because they worked too hard to get where they are and don't want to throw it away for a kid......but that will change in three years.
![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/Punchsmack/punch.gif) “...Iguodala to Curry, back to Iguodala, up for the layup! Oh! Blocked by James! LeBron James with the rejection!”
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Quote:
She's a doctor and her husband is a high school teacher/football coach. They're both very, very busy. I see them as a "no-kids-couple" only because they worked too hard to get where they are and don't want to throw it away for a kid......but that will change in three years.
I would never tell anybody they are wrong for not wanting kids, only that I don't understand it. I really don't.
I mean, what is the point of working hard and succeeding if you have nobody to pass it on to and share it with? Is cutting back on your work hours and limiting your extra curricular activities so you can raise a child or two really "throwing it all away"? 
What is the point of enduring the growing pains and the lessons of life if you can't impart that wisdom onto a young impressionable mind that will ignore everything you say and go on making all their own mistakes so then you get to say "I told-you-so"?
What is the point of growing old just for the sake of growing old so you can have the money and the time to see another country or another great work of art and not have anybody to talk to about it? I suppose everybody that says they don't want kids has thought about these things and just reached a different conclusion than the one I reached...
But my other thought is this... I see more and more intelligent successful couples opting to have no kids.. or possibly one kid... I see poor uneducated folks having 3 and 4 and 5 kids.... Do the math. 
yebat' Putin
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I don't want to grow old for the sake of growing old. And it's not like I don't have anyone to talk about things with either. I enjoy the conversations I have with my young nieces and nephews and neighborhood kids. I'm able to teach them quite a bit. While at the same time, I don't have the added expenses or emergencies. Having kids just isn't in my (our) future.
KeysDawg
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. - Carl Sagan
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When you have a child, life as you knew it will cease to exist if you plan on being a responsible parent. I was 37 when my son was born (a surprise....I finally slipped one past the goalie ) I totally respect and admire your decision. I'd much rather see someone such as yourself realize what you want out of life and decide children aren't right for you.....rather than someone having a child on a whim and not making the necessary sacrifices to raise a well adjusted human being to adulthood. It's definitely not for everyone. To answer your question, I know several couples in their 40's who are childless. The only problem I see is that they are way too often asked if they have children and have to explain themselves.
And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.
- John Muir
#GMSTRONG
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As I said, everybodys situation is different. If you're happy with it, then I'm happy for you... That still doesn't mean I'm going to understand it.
yebat' Putin
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What's to understand, I don't get that. And I never understand when people say people not wanting kids are selfish. I think it could be more easily argued the other way around. Anyway, we do plan to have children.
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You know DC , I have two boys , grown ... One will be a lifer in the Air Force , the other is a Prof. at Winthrop UN... Can't begin to tell ya the pride I have in being a half ass good Dad .. Wish we would have had at lest one girl .. I need someone to spoil the old man in my old age ... lol
Last edited by waterdawg; 02/12/08 03:16 PM.
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What don't you get? I try to understand peoples rationale for making decisions...
yebat' Putin
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I still have you stumped don't I 
I AM ALWAYS RIGHT... except when I am wrong.
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I don't understand your not understanding, understand?  That looks and sounds like a very weird word now. 
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Quote:
I still have you stumped don't I
I only try to understand people who actually use some rational thinking.
yebat' Putin
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Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Anyone else not having kids?
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