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What is the point of enduring the growing pains and the lessons of life if you can't impart that wisdom onto a young impressionable mind that will ignore everything you say and go on making all their own mistakes so then you get to say "I told-you-so"?
That was one of the things I questioned myself in my decision, but since those early days I have had time to reflect on that thought and realize that while I may not have imparted that wisdom on a child of my own, I did help shape the lives of young teens during my 5 years of working with the youth group at our church, and my young nieces and nephews, and such, as well as my stepson.
So I feel I did pass something along, maybe not to my own flesh and blood, but maybe it was God's plan for me to pass it to others that may not have had those teachings in their own home.
We don't have to agree with each other, to respect each others opinion.
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Legend
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You certainly don't have to have children to lead a happy and productive life, and it certainly doesn't mean you haven't contributed to humanity in positive ways. People who try to insinuate that are either very shallow or not quite right. 
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Legend
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I heard you recently adopted another child. Well he isn't really a child but he acts like one. 
#gmstrong
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Well he isn't really a child but he acts like one.
More like the other way around. 
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I definitely will be having kids. Sometime in my early 30's. I would like to have something like 4 or 5.
From a biological perspective, I just can't fathom the idea of not passing my genetics onto future generations. I'd kind of feel like I'd be doing all my ancestors a disservice by letting it end here.
I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch......
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Legend
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Gee, that's too bad......
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Legend
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Quote:
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Well he isn't really a child but he acts like one.
More like the other way around.
#gmstrong
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2nd String
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Have you ever wondered how things would be different if your parents had this conversation? 
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You could say that to the last kid born to a family with 18 kids. what if they stopped at 17? That's silly.
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Legend
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Then they're selfish. 
yebat' Putin
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2nd String
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You could say that to the last kid born to a family with 18 kids. what if they stopped at 17? That's silly.
Even with your example, its a powerful choice...to give life. Without your parents decision to have children, we would not have your poking comments on this board.
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Legend
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I think it's silly, sorry.
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Shark, I think your point is valid.. arguably there is no more powerful choice than to have a child, whether it's your 1st or your 18th... My opinion has always been, if you're prepared to love them and care for them, have as many as you want.. but don't have one more than that.
yebat' Putin
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On a semi-related topic, I choose to have a tubal ligation after the birth of my second child. Not a big deal, right? But I was only 24 years old. I've had a lot of people question me about that, asking me how I could possibly know at such an early age that I definitely didn't want any more children. But it's something that you just know....kind of hard to describe. Any more than 2 kids would have been too much for me. Besides, kids are expensive!
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Sometimes people just know when they're ready for things...kids, no kids, getting their tubes tied, getting snipped, etc. You can reverse most of those things anyway...well, except the already having kids thing. 
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
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Sometimes people just know when they're ready for things...kids, no kids, getting their tubes tied, getting snipped, etc. You can reverse most of those things anyway...well, except the already having kids thing.
Bingo! We have a winner
KeysDawg
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. - Carl Sagan
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Not married and not close 
At 36, I'm less inclined to have kids now than I was at 26, and I wasn't very inclined to have them then, hehe.
Every animal is programmed to procreate, but some of us have reasons why we have chosen not to. In my case, as odd as it may sound, the future of my race doesn't teeter on the edge because of whether or not I choose to have kids
I don't feel as though something in my life is missing if I don't have children. That's the big one. Some people feel that drive while some few don't.
My best bud in the world, a guy I've been brothers with for more than 20 years, was so driven to get married and have kids that we all knew he'd be the first. It was the one thing that he always admitted would keep his life from being incomplete.
I'm the complete opposite.
After really exploring this realization about myself over the years, I've come to accept a rather odd fact about myself: I'm selfish in this regard. I want my life to revolve around that which makes me happy. Since I don't have any strong desires to have kids, I don't personally feel that having one would significantly enrich my life. I believe it would have the opposite effect, which would be to tie my life down.
***Gordon, I really didn't think you could be this stOOpid, but you exceeded my expectations. Wussy.
Manziel, see Josh Gordon. Dumbass.***
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Legend
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Quote:
its a powerful choice...to give life
There's some that think the terms of "choice" and "birth" should not co-exist. 
We don't have to agree with each other, to respect each others opinion.
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Legend
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Quote:
Quote:
its a powerful choice...to give life
There's some that think the terms of "choice" and "birth" should not co-exist.
Of course they should co-exist... however the dynamics change after the term "conception"...
yebat' Putin
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Legend
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I still have you stumped don't I
I only try to understand people who actually use some rational thinking.
See what I mean 
I AM ALWAYS RIGHT... except when I am wrong.
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Have you ever wondered how things would be different if your parents had this conversation?
That response is the one that really gets me frustrated. I mean really? THAT's your arguement?
If my parents felt this way, you wouldn't be replying to me and I wouldn't be posting because I wouldn't be here. So really what's your point?
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Legend
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Not to mention i would almost bet that better than 50%, and probably closer to 70% of births were unplanned. Not unwanted, just unplanned.
We don't have to agree with each other, to respect each others opinion.
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Not married and not close
At 36, I'm less inclined to have kids now than I was at 26, and I wasn't very inclined to have them then, hehe.
Every animal is programmed to procreate, but some of us have reasons why we have chosen not to. In my case, as odd as it may sound, the future of my race doesn't teeter on the edge because of whether or not I choose to have kids
I don't feel as though something in my life is missing if I don't have children. That's the big one. Some people feel that drive while some few don't.
My best bud in the world, a guy I've been brothers with for more than 20 years, was so driven to get married and have kids that we all knew he'd be the first. It was the one thing that he always admitted would keep his life from being incomplete.
I'm the complete opposite.
After really exploring this realization about myself over the years, I've come to accept a rather odd fact about myself: I'm selfish in this regard. I want my life to revolve around that which makes me happy. Since I don't have any strong desires to have kids, I don't personally feel that having one would significantly enrich my life. I believe it would have the opposite effect, which would be to tie my life down.
That's really how I feel. I hear a lot about being "selfish". As I see it it's not about that. It's about knowing what will make you happy in your life and acting on it. Look, as a hospice nurse I know that life is a gift. It was given to me and it's mine to live how I see fit. I don't want the clutter of children nor the restrictions they place on you. This is MY choice. I certainly don't expect others to fall in line with my way of thinking. I just take heat for it at times and was looking to see if there were others feeling the same.
There are times when I wonder if I'm making the right choice. Especially since I've moved away from my nephews a few years back. I use to get the whole parenting urge knocked out of me after an exhausting afternoon watching my sisters three boys. Four hours of that'll make you go out to the garage and sterilize yourself with a soldiering gun!!  Without them as a part of my daily life I kind of wonder what it'd be like.
Then I go on a weekend trip to Mexico with my wife on the spur of the moment and forget all about it... the having them part, not the making them part.
![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/PortlandDawg/banner.jpg)
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the future of my race doesn't teeter on the edge because of whether or not I choose to have kids
I disagree...
Thank God you don't want kids. Our gene pool is already severely contaminated and the addition of little Toads could very well put us on the brink of extinction. 
I think whether to have kids or not is a personal choice that others shouldn't stick their noses into.
Last edited by Pdawg; 02/12/08 05:46 PM.
#gmstrong
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From a biological perspective, I just can't fathom the idea of not passing my genetics onto future generations. I'd kind of feel like I'd be doing all my ancestors a disservice by letting it end here.
Are you an only child?
See, my sisters have kids, so the "bloodline" will live on. And besides I really don't feel the need to have a bunch of mini-me's running around. It would be kind of arrogant of me to think the world needs them.
Not knocking you or how you feel. It's just my take on that arguement, which I hear often.
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Legend
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Not to mention i would almost bet that better than 50%, and probably closer to 70% of births were unplanned. Not unwanted, just unplanned.
50% unplanned in my case (my son), 50% planned - my daughter.
However, without going into a long drawn out story, my son's mother was ready to have an abortion.
Both of my kids are wanted.
Also, if you can read between the lines, you may get a feel for my views on religion and abortion. Wait, that's a dangerous thing for me to do - to tell someone to read between the lines. Suffice it to say, based on MY experience, I have my feelings.
And to those of you that don't want kids (toad, you come to mind), kudos to all of you for realizing/knowing/whatever, that you don't want or need kids. Not everyone needs them, not everyone wants them.
I will never ask anyone "so, when are you going to have kids" for 2 reasons......#1 my brother had been married 14 years before they had any, and I asked them a number of times why they didn't have any. Guess how surprised I was to hear that they were trying, just hadn't had any luck. Imagine my red face when I realized they had been trying for 14 years, doctors involved and everything.
But, I didn't learn my lesson, as I did the same thing with my other brother - asked, asked, said "what, you don't want kids?" - not knowing that my sis in law had had some problems earlier in her life and was not able to have kids.
I don't ask anymore, and I don't assume I know why people may not have kids, and I don't need to know why they do or don't.
Like I posted earlier, my thoughts go out to those that WANT kids but can't have them.
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I used to not want any as the thought of being responsible for another life is something I thought I couldn't handle and scared the heck out of me but now at the age of 31 I believe I can. Just looking for the right person to have them with at this point.
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Not to mention i would almost bet that better than 50%, and probably closer to 70% of births were unplanned. Not unwanted, just unplanned.
I'm one of four kids. I was the only planned one.
For those who may wonder if my upbringing brought me to this decision. I was raised in a great family. Not perfect, but loving and close knit. If anything this is what puzzles my mother the most about my choice. I had a great childhood, why wouldn't I want to pass that experience on? That and my mother thinks her only shot at a grand daughter must be in me. My sisters are boy factories. I stopped counting nephews a few years back, there are no nieces.
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Legend
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And besides I really don't feel the need to have a bunch of mini-me's running around. It would be kind of arrogant of me to think the world needs them.
As I stated earlier.. after seeing some of the people that are having 4 and 5 kids... the world needs as many responsible well-cared for intelligent children as it can get...
yebat' Putin
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On a semi-related topic, I choose to have a tubal ligation after the birth of my second child. Not a big deal, right? But I was only 24 years old. I've had a lot of people question me about that, asking me how I could possibly know at such an early age that I definitely didn't want any more children. But it's something that you just know....kind of hard to describe. Any more than 2 kids would have been too much for me. Besides, kids are expensive!
You are so right on the fact that you just know. I also had a tubal banding/ligation at a young age. I thought long and hard over it. My decision was based on my 1st marriage and the fact that I did not want to put anyone else through what we were going through at the time. I did not feel that it was a selfish decision but the right decision at the time. I have not regretted any decision I have made on having children considering that both my daughters were surprises.
Some people are cut out to be parents and others aren't. It is their decision to make not anyone elses and that said...anyone that thinks they can sway another person away from a decision to not have children is just asking for a bit of trouble.
If I had decided not to have children I wouldn't have 2 beautiful little grand daughters. My only regret at times is the choice of father for my daughters. lol
(just my 3 cents worth)
![[Linked Image from i8.photobucket.com]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a43/jlq112atomicdog/janstags/browns%20tags/atomic.jpg)
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(Not that I know very many people that don't have/want kids... they aren't usually at PTA meetings, soccer games, or the pediatricians office.. )
I tease a friend of mine who just had his first child a year or so ago... "Well I'm the last of your chosen friends. From now on your son will chose his friends and you'll be stuck with their parents as your friends." I stopped calling him Matt, and started refering to him as "Noah's dad."
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That's 10-15 years from now. I got enough time to think about my decision!
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If you are selfish for not wanting kids because it lets you focus on the things that make you happy, then I am equally as selfish for wanting (and having) kids because it let's me focus on the things that make me happy.
I just happen to enjoy chasing my 2 boys around and look forward to eventually coaching their youth-sport teams and helping them in school, taking them to their first Brown's game, et cetera.
We all do what makes us happy...if we don't, then we lead miserable lives.
#gmstrong
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I don't knock people if they have kids, I don't knock them if they don't. I feel for the people that want them and CAN'T have them though.
This is why it is rude to stick your nose where it doesn't belong.
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Quote:
Quote:
I don't knock people if they have kids, I don't knock them if they don't. I feel for the people that want them and CAN'T have them though.
This is why it is rude to stick your nose where it doesn't belong.
Did you read my post about my brothers and their wives? I learned the hard way.
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No I did not,...but I will. I know what you mean.
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Legend
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"Well I'm the last of your chosen friends. From now on your son will chose his friends and you'll be stuck with their parents as your friends." I stopped calling him Matt, and started refering to him as "Noah's dad."
I hope he reminds you that someday you will be old in a nursing home and nobody will visit you. 
yebat' Putin
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That's not really funny for people that can't have kids.
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
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I hope he reminds you that someday you will be old in a nursing home and nobody will visit you.
Believe me when I say this, just because you have kids doesn't mean they won't "Dump and Run". I've worked most of my career in nursing homes. MOST of the elderly I've cared for were visited two or three times a YEAR, if at all by thier loved ones. The staff becomes their families. So make sure you take good care of your child. He or she will choose your nursing home. Me... I'll chose my own. And it should be a pretty nice place as I'll have saved a pretty penny by not havig kids.
see...http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/CollegeandFamily/Raisekids/P37245.asp
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I never wanted a kid..I wasn't a kid person but now that I've had one I wouldnt want it any other way...
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Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Anyone else not having kids?
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