$100 offer for baby's name gives dad gas
Scott Maxwell | TAKING NAMES
July 11, 2008
When David Partin heard that a local radio station was giving $100 worth of free gas to the listener who called in with the most interesting item to trade, he wasted no time in making his offer:
The naming rights to his unborn child.
Needless to say, it was a winner.
So now, when this innocent baby boy comes into the world around Christmas, he's slated to do so as Dixon and Willoughby Partin.
Yes, the "and" is included.
But 96.5 FM (WHTQ) morning hosts Richard Dixon and J. Willoughby didn't want to leave out their executive producer. So they suggested the kid's middle name be: With Radio's Alan Spector.
Dad-to-be David thought that part might be too much.
Just that part?
"Hey, man, times are rough," replied the 26-year-old landscaper from east Orlando. "I figure I'll be able to drive around for a couple of weeks on that gas."
But that kid of yours will have that name for much longer.
Surely Mom had some objections.
"Well, it was his choice," said David's girlfriend, Samantha. "I'd told him that if it was a girl, I'd name her. And if it was a boy, he'd get to choose."
But Dixon and Willoughby?
"Yeah, I think he might hate David for a while," she said of her unborn baby. "But after he grows up some, he'll always have a story about his name. I always wanted that but never did with 'Samantha.' "
Actually, baby Partin may have an even more interesting story to tell -- because this radio contest is really just the beginning.
After some of David's friends heard about the deal, they started offering more to name his baby. Like $300.
"With that," he said, "we could get some diapers too."
Or maybe, I thought, go down to the clerk's office and change the name back to something normal, since that's about how much it costs in some counties.
But David and Samantha aren't looking for normal. They're looking for unusual -- and for money. So the parents have decided to take things one step further.
They've officially put their child's name up for bid on the open market.
That's right, corporate America. For the right price, there could be a real, live human being walking around Central Florida named Wal-Mart Partin.
Who knows? You pregnant readers out there might one day send your own little ones to day care with baby Best Buy.
Or, if the sponsor's local, maybe little Lockheed Martin Partin.
Oh, and because David always intended to tattoo his baby's name on his body, the winning namesake will get that as well. "That part," said David, "is just an extra."
There's always the chance loving friends and family members will swoop in, pool their money and save this kid from a life of name tags that say: Appliance Direct.
But in case they don't, how about a couple of caveats:
Please, no bids from politicians. No other kids are going to want to play with a kid named Re-Elect Buddy Dyer.
And let's just hope some companies have the common sense to take themselves out of the bidding. Because one can only imagine the laughter that would erupt if some poor teacher had to call attendance every day and ask whether Fairvilla Megastore's mom had dropped him off yet.
Scott Maxwell, who wants to reassure his son, Chase, that no banks or financial institutions of any kind were involved in his naming, can be reached at
smaxwell@orlandosentinel.com or 407-420-6141.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/columnists/orl-maxwell1108jul11,0,6907962.column