|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,246
Legend
|
OP
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,246 |
For some background, I am white. Fortunately for me, my parents raised my sisters and me the proper way. I do not hold stereotypes of people based on race, sex, sexual orientation, etc. Instead, I love/loathe people on an individual basis, which is the way I feel it should be. Well, my sister and her husband have three children, all boys (age 5, 4 and 2). They always wanted a girl, but my sister can't have any more kids. Just yesterday, their adoption went through of an absolutely BEAUTIFUL black baby girl. Needless to say, she will be accepted into our family without hesitation and be given all the love and support that all the other children have gotten. But I'm not necessarily concerned about my family. My biggest concern lies with the fact that, for all intents and purposes, my family has become, well, black. Think about how often (if you're white) people make racist comments to you. I know one of the secretaries at work makes racist comments all the time. Heck, I don't even think she realizes she does it. One of the regular patients at my mom's dental office was telling her a joke about how if Obama wins the election, they're going to replace the Rose Garden at the White House with a watermelon garden. When my mom told him that was inappropriate and how my sister was adopting a black baby, he made a comment that I fear many people have at least thought: "Why would they want to do something like that?" One of my absolute best friends makes racist jokes a lot. A guy I play basketball with whom I consider a good friend was telling me once that one of the best things we ever did for black people was bring them over to the U.S. as slaves, since they now get to experience the "good life." I mean, these are very educated people! I'm sure they would never say anything like this to a black person, but they have no idea that my niece is black. Now, whenever people have said things like that to me in the past, throughout my life, I have stood up for what I believe and gotten in many arguments pointing out the ignorance of their ways. I guess the point of this post is to see how other people have dealt with these things. How have you dealt with racism, sexism, and other prejudice? It's to the point now where I can't just laugh it off. If someone was making fun of someone in your family, I sincerely doubt you'd just laugh it off. But at the same time, I doubt I'm going to be getting in fist-fights all the time, either (I'm a big wuss  ). So, just wanted to throw that out there.
I am unfamiliar with this feeling of optimism
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 74,746
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 74,746 |
Those who ignore or dismiss your post are not grounded in reality. It sounds as though you are.
I guess it boils down to this.......
You'll have to either "accept your racist friends", or make the decision that you don't want racists as friends.
I'll be the first to admit that I haven't been as "open minded" about sexual prefrance and race when I was younger. I grew up in a farming community that was white.
But as I've grown older, I've learned a great deal and came a long way in that regard. And I realise it's a far greater problem than those with "limited exposure" to the problems.
So you can "talk with your friends about it". Explain your feelings on the matter. If they are "really your friends" they will respect your feelings and keep those things to themselves in your presence.
If not? You'll have some tough decisions to make.
JMHO
Intoducing for The Cleveland Browns, Quarterback Deshawn "The Predator" Watson. He will also be the one to choose your next head coach.
#gmstrong
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,649
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,649 |
Quote:
One of my absolute best friends makes racist jokes a lot. A guy I play basketball with whom I consider a good friend was telling me once that one of the best things we ever did for black people was bring them over to the U.S. as slaves, since they now get to experience the "good life."
Perhaps your buddy needs to go above the scant world history that they teach in high school. For one, one of the biggest reasons Africa has such social, and economic turmoil is because prior to, and during, the North Atlantic Slave trade, virtually all of Europe invaded Africa. After the invasion and slaughter of much of Africa. European countries sucked up all of Africa's resources, set up phony political boundaries - which meant different currency, and different languages for all of the different countries within Africa.
Don't believe me? Go look up the history of Debeers diamonds. Go look up King Leopold. Go look up the history of the boundaries between the African countries of Ghana, Togo, and Benin.
Second, you buddy also needs to understand that "we" didn't simply go into Africa and take a bunch of people, call them slaves, and bring them over here.
Most African slaves were brought to South America, because they were better able to adapt to humid conditions. Many of the slaves that were brought over were sold to European invaders because African rulers saw many young African man as a threat to their throne, also, many slaves were in African prisons when African rulers sold them to us.
Perhaps you and your family need to stop hanging out with a bunch of stupid hillbilly's. -I admit, that's hard to do around Northeast Ohio, but, hey, I've found a way.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 14,511
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 14,511 |
I try to ignore it the best I can... I really am surprised at how many racist people (of all races) there are in Houston... I was raised like you... I grew up in a school system with kids of all races and really have no problem with anyone as a whole (for the most part).
My best friend from college is a gay black man so we had to put up with some jerks while in college... we always got some weird looks when we'd go out together and it'd be amazing that we'd have a waiter or something only talk to me and not him.
I went out with a girl here in Houston who told me that it was 'disgusting' that I was friends with people who are black... I basically laughed in her face and ended the date. I had some friends who are really well educated who were making some seriously offensive racist jokes that i just tried to ignore... I'm cool with joking and all but sometimes it just gets taken too far...
I do crack up at people who say they aren't racist but they make a ton of racist jokes and might have one friend of color.
<><
#gmstrong
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,246
Legend
|
|
OP
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,246 |
Thanks all for your responses. I guess just a general reply.
These aren't "hillbillies" that I hang out with. These are really pretty sophisticated and educated people. To think that only backwoods rednecks are racists is pretty narrow-minded. I often begin to wonder if non-racist people are in the great minority of this country compared to people who are racist (or at least harbor prejudice).
My grandparents are pretty uneasy about this whole adoption thing, but I really attribute that to the generational thing (my grandma, one of the absolute nicest people in the history of the world, still says she likes to watch basketball because she enjoys "watching the little black boys run."). But, like I said, they're in their upper 70s and 80s. Not that it makes it right, but it helps explain it a bit.
But to think that only stupid hillbillies are the ones making these ignorant comments is not correct.
Before I met my wife, I dated a black woman. You would not believe the amount of stares and dirty looks we would get when we would go out. And we weren't going out in rural Mississippi. And this was only a few years ago.
I am unfamiliar with this feeling of optimism
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,102
Dawg Talker
|
|
Dawg Talker
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,102 |
25 years ago I worked with a big Polish guy (Stan) from Cleveland who was the most racist fellow I ever met. I respected his honesty, but there was times he'd bring some of his views up at coffee break and it really made the group uncomfortable. One day his joke was about a black boy being potty trained and running away from the potty screaming, "Mommy, mommy, I'm melting".
Nobody got the joke and he repeated it a 2nd time a day or 2 later. One of the other guys at the table (Tim) asked, "Did you hear the one about the pollack boy being potty trained?"
Stan answer a very gruff, "No, I didn't." in sort of a dare-yah tone.
After a second when Tim hadn't responded I chipped in, "He started screamming, 'Mommy. mommy, I'm losing my mind',".
Those at the table roared. Stan didn't talk to me for a few days after that.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 468
All Pro
|
|
All Pro
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 468 |
Well , I am white and have a relative and various friends in mixed marriages....Those individuals choice that option and should Not be penalized or stigmatized for it.....** Personally , I would not become involved in a mixed marriage or especially bring mixed children in to this world , because they are the ones who become the target of the racism that you speak of from both sides....Adoption which creates mixed family is asa I said a personal choice , however it too will leave that family open to racism by the Morons....The one part of this equation that I don't understand is why , IF couples are open to creating a mixed family(Whichever the color of the parents) why they seem to more often than not go overseas to do it....Example Whites adopting black babies from Africa vs American babies or a black couple adopting a white American baby vs a Russian baby.....
The Mammal
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,253
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,253 |
Quote:
[quote
Perhaps you and your family need to stop hanging out with a bunch of stupid hillbilly's. -I admit, that's hard to do around Northeast Ohio, but, hey, I've found a way.
You seemed so considerate and caring until your last paragraph. Can't you show Applachian Americans the same respect you show African Americans? What are you just another eletist. They are kind of hard to stay away from around NE Ohio too.
Last edited by Dawg Duty; 08/10/08 01:50 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691
Raven
|
|
Raven
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691 |
My question to all who visit this thread is this, if you were in need of a transfusion or donor organs, heart, liver, etc., would you question the donor's ethnicity? If you needed an emergency surgery or police protection, would you prefer to have a White or black or Asian or Indian DOCTOR do the job? How about when you need the police, would you prefer the next available (pick your race preference)or would you prefer to have the local Barney Fife and Andy Taylor (No offense, I love the show too) be at your doorstep? I guess when you look at all of this, as long as Jamal and Braylon, Josh and Kellen do their jobs, everything is cool, come over to the house and have dinner with us, but the minute one of those guys dates someone else outside of the skin color, it's a problem. I always thought this was the HUMAN race where these types of prejudices didn't or shouldn't occur but I guess that's not the case. You ever notice how in the animal kingdom, there seems to be an accord among them that doesn't call for the singling out because of color or religion or race, it's just for food and we are supposed to be the most intellignet species and can't even get along with one another due to race and religion??? What is this world turning into?? This thread was over a child being adopted, my advice is this, deal with it just like many other family''s have dealt with racism as an issue in OUR lives. We all can't turn our colors when we want, but if we could, some would to keep from the hateful and terrible things that are said more often than not.....America, the greatest land of all.......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,955
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,955 |
79, congratulations on your new neice!  I hope you don't have to deal with any of the issues you are concerned about, but it's good to go in with a plan in case you do encounter idiots along the way. Quote:
My question to all who visit this thread is this, if you were in need of a transfusion or donor organs, heart, liver, etc., would you question the donor's ethnicity? If you needed an emergency surgery or police protection, would you prefer to have a White or black or Asian or Indian DOCTOR do the job?
No. 
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691
Raven
|
|
Raven
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691 |
The reason why I asked the question is because one of my friends (co-worker) told me about his ex-wife who, when she needed medical attention, preferred to be seen by a white doctor who was not available over an African American doctor who was right there in the room. I guess some of the doctors are not as good as the others huh???? 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,671
Dawg Talker
|
|
Dawg Talker
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,671 |
Most racism stems from fear. Fear of whatever difference the 2 groups manifest. We humans share about 99.3% similar DNA regardless of color,race or nationality but it is the difference we seem to focus upon.
I was raised during the 50s in a mixed neighborhood of white Catholic working class folks with a large number of A.A. families intermingled. When we were young we all played together but as we grew we separated along color lines for social purposes. School sports and activities brought us together but private time was more segregated.
I knew almost NO ADULTS to ever use racial slurs but the divisions were clear and mixed dating was almost unheard of. I cannot honestly say that the white group was any more determined to be separate from the other group or vice versa.
Those days...50s and 60s were times of work and peaceful relaxation. I occassionally ran into my old black kindergartner friends and we were sociable but a bit distant.Work was important and the stereotype of lazy black slackers was something unknown to us. The stereotype of rabid white rednecks was just as uncommon as the other.
Were these groups equally at fault if there was any fault to accept? I never once heard my Mom or Dad talk in a disparaging way to or about any A.A. person based upon ethnicity....they did complain about those specific black kids riding thru the garden just as the Callahan or Flannigan brats knocking down the laundry hanging out back.
Accept people as they come and ignore the ones who refuse to change and embrace the ones who are different in appearance who wish you good will.
Good luck with the niece
The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of 'liberalism' they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, .
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,649
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,649 |
Quote:
Thanks all for your responses. I guess just a general reply.
These aren't "hillbillies" that I hang out with. These are really pretty sophisticated and educated people.
Yet. . . . . . they make enough racial comments to push you to come on this message board and vent your frustration. -Yeah, these idiots you and your family hang out with sound really, really, sophisticated and educated.
Look dude, the people you are fed up with, at their core, are a bunch of no good, backwoods, hicks.
Don't come on here and say you know some educated, sophisticated, people who are racists. -It makes no sense.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,693
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,693 |
Congratulations on your new niece.  Regarding racism... I don't like it, try not to practice it, never really understood it. In fact, I don't really understand all the self-imposed divisive devices humanity throws up: race, religion, borders, skin color, regional dialects, etc. and so on. I've seen Argentines belittle Mexicans and Mexican belittle Salvadorians, Japanese belittle Koreans and on and on and on... And it never makes any sense. Although I am fairly well traveled, I had never experienced the effects of it personally until I spent time in Japan. I didn't notice it the first time, started to see it the second time, and by my third and fourth trip I realized it was overt but subtle and disguised by politeness. I got angry every time I encountered it; boiling mad, on a deep and visceral level because it made no sense. I was me, I had always been me but suddenly I was encountering situations where I was looked down upon and being treated differently simply because of my race. I knew it wasn't personal, these people didn't know me, yet they were absolutely positive that I was inferior and undeserving of the same treatment as those of their own race. It was an amazing experience. You know it's wrong, aside from the obvious reasons, when you call someone on it and they're embarrassed by their actions. So I don't let it slide. I don't ignore the belittling comment or laugh at the joke because others are, and if I get the chance, I try to make the point, if I can, that we are all the same. We love our families, like to laugh and we all feel pain. Education is the key, experience, love, and understanding hopefully the result. Racism and hate exist and the only thing to be done about it is to try to effect change where you can, whenever you can. I hold out hope, but it is a difficult struggle. I see differences from when I was young, but I also see perpetuation. In Ohio, in Los Angeles, everywhere... But hopefully through open, frank discussion, education and compassion, the veils of hatred can start to be lifted. I applaud your sister and husband, not because they adopted a black baby, but because they adopted a baby in need of a family. I know there will be struggles for all of them, but nothing compared to the struggle of not having a family or knowing love and safety. Peace.
![[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]](https://i.imgur.com/hfMNC7T.jpg) "I am undeterred and I am undaunted." --Kevin Stefanski "Big hairy American winning machines." --Baker Mayfield #gmstrong
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 805
All Pro
|
|
All Pro
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 805 |
Quote:
One of my absolute best friends makes racist jokes a lot.
I'm married to someone of a different race. I have a lot of good friends that I've made over the last 20 years and few of them will make racist jokes from time to time. The thing is they actually would be first to help if another was in need. It doesn't really bother me or my wife for that matter. There are plenty of jokes about rednecks or crackers so a joke is a joke. If someone was plain out offensive and klan like I would be angry.
Anyway congrats on the new family 79,I think you will find many people will be accepting of everything. I haven't had any problems and I've been married for 7 years now
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,246
Legend
|
|
OP
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,246 |
Thanks all for the replies. We really won't have much choice but to figure out how to deal with everything when things come up. I just wanted to see how other people have dealt with this type of situation.
I am unfamiliar with this feeling of optimism
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 30,825
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 30,825 |
Well, truth be told, some doctors aren't as good as some others. However, the race or nationality of a doctor has never been and never will be a determining factor in how good he/she is. At least in my opinion.
(and yes, I know you know that - I was just chiming in to chime in)
To the origional poster - unfortunately, there is still rascism in todays society. Sometimes overt and blatant, other times it's hidden a little bit. A child of a different race than the parents is more than likely going to feel it/see it/sense it.
That goes for whites adopting blacks or asians, etc, as well as for blacks adopting whites or asians, etc.
The best thing for the kid will be for mom and dad and the rest of the family to offer/have a loving home environment where things can be discussed openly and with love and concern. And, I'm sure they know that.
I suppose getting angry about things won't help much. Best wishes to them, and a big CONGRATULATIONS as well.
We have some friends that just adopted an infant from the Columbus area.....they had done all the pre adoption stuff - the home checks, the question and answer things, dealt with the interviewing of them as well as their 2 other kids, psychological interviews, another unexpected home visit, etc etc. They told the agency they wanted a girl - nothing else specified.
One morning, as they were getting ready to go on vacation, the phone rang. The agency had a girl, black, appeared to be in good health, mother was an i.v. drug user, no idea on who the father was, what his health history was, etc. "do you want her. You've got "x" minutes to decide, and if you do, you'll need to pick her up tomorrow, unless some medical condition arises.
Vacation was cancelled, baby was brought home.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,955
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,955 |
Quote:
Well, truth be told, some doctors aren't as good as some others. However, the race or nationality of a doctor has never been and never will be a determining factor in how good he/she is. At least in my opinion.
I was going to say something similar.  Some doctors just suck regardless of where they were born or the color of their skin.
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691
Raven
|
|
Raven
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691 |
I like the way you see things Ralphie.. I too was brought up in a similar setting albeit the late 60's but about the same. For all who ever watched Star Trek, did you all ever see race as an issue? Why couldn't life be a little easier like that among us all????
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 39,556
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 39,556 |
One other thing to deal with....life is all about dealing with things.
If everybody had like minds, we would never learn. GM Strong ![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/small-gator-chomp.gif)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691
Raven
|
|
Raven
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,691 |
Quote:
Well, truth be told, some doctors aren't as good as some others. However, the race or nationality of a doctor has never been and never will be a determining factor in how good he/she is. At least in my opinion.
(and yes, I know you know that - I was just chiming in to chime in)
To the origional poster - unfortunately, there is still rascism in todays society. Sometimes overt and blatant, other times it's hidden a little bit. A child of a different race than the parents is more than likely going to feel it/see it/sense it.
That goes for whites adopting blacks or asians, etc, as well as for blacks adopting whites or asians, etc.
The best thing for the kid will be for mom and dad and the rest of the family to offer/have a loving home environment where things can be discussed openly and with love and concern. And, I'm sure they know that.
I suppose getting angry about things won't help much. Best wishes to them, and a big CONGRATULATIONS as well.
We have some friends that just adopted an infant from the Columbus area.....they had done all the pre adoption stuff - the home checks, the question and answer things, dealt with the interviewing of them as well as their 2 other kids, psychological interviews, another unexpected home visit, etc etc. They told the agency they wanted a girl - nothing else specified.
One morning, as they were getting ready to go on vacation, the phone rang. The agency had a girl, black, appeared to be in good health, mother was an i.v. drug user, no idea on who the father was, what his health history was, etc. "do you want her. You've got "x" minutes to decide, and if you do, you'll need to pick her up tomorrow, unless some medical condition arises.
Vacation was cancelled, baby was brought home.
If the parents stick by their guns (no pun intended) the baby will have a wonderful life. It's really unfortunate that this issue (racism) is what it is, STUPID..  ......One day, when the world is about to be taken over by aliens. we will probably, in a desperate manner, band together to save our behinds so that no one else can interfere with our lives (Martian Chronicles)......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,349
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,349 |
Quote:
Thanks all for your responses. I guess just a general reply.
These aren't "hillbillies" that I hang out with.
I find it ironic that you dont like steretypes but then make a stereotyping comment yourself.
KING
You may be in the drivers seat but God is holding the map. #GMSTRONG
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,955
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,955 |
He was responding to this: Quote:
RememberMuni: Perhaps you and your family need to stop hanging out with a bunch of stupid hillbilly's.
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,349
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,349 |
Quote:
He was responding to this:
Quote:
RememberMuni: Perhaps you and your family need to stop hanging out with a bunch of stupid hillbilly's.
I saw that when I went back, so I guess it is Muni that I should have been directing my comments at.
I still say it is funny that someone would talk negatively in regards to people making stereotyping or racist statement, yet make those same statements about " hillbillys". Isnt the word "hillbilly" a steretyping word in itself?
KING
You may be in the drivers seat but God is holding the map. #GMSTRONG
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 30,825
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 30,825 |
I don't know who it was - actually there were several that, while discussing the issue of this thread, felt it was no problem or it was justified, to use hillbilly and redneck to describe a certain group of people.
Yeah, I noticed the irony of it.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 805
All Pro
|
|
All Pro
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 805 |
Quote:
I don't know who it was - actually there were several that, while discussing the issue of this thread, felt it was no problem or it was justified, to use hillbilly and redneck to describe a certain group of people.
1 of them was me so I apologize fully if you or anyone else were offended by my comment of "redneck"......Hope that makes things better
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,704
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 8,704 |
Quote:
These aren't "hillbillies" that I hang out with.
I find the term hillbilly to be offensive
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,349
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,349 |
Quote:
Quote:
I don't know who it was - actually there were several that, while discussing the issue of this thread, felt it was no problem or it was justified, to use hillbilly and redneck to describe a certain group of people.
1 of them was me so I apologize fully if you or anyone else were offended by my comment of "redneck"......Hope that makes things better
Its cool, I dont think most people realize they are doing it when they do it. I thought it was kind of funny that it seems in this discussion that it is the so called " smart,sophisiticated,city folks" who were the racists.
Funny thing is I just moved to little small town and have embraced the small town country lifestyle. I dont know, it seemed like racism was a much bigger issue in the city than I have ever seen here.
KING
You may be in the drivers seat but God is holding the map. #GMSTRONG
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 30,825
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 30,825 |
Quote:
Quote:
I don't know who it was - actually there were several that, while discussing the issue of this thread, felt it was no problem or it was justified, to use hillbilly and redneck to describe a certain group of people.
1 of them was me so I apologize fully if you or anyone else were offended by my comment of "redneck"......Hope that makes things better
Oh no, I took no offense to it, really. I just found it ironic - those terms - redneck and hillbilly - being used in a thread about racism. That's all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,908
Bengal
|
|
Bengal
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,908 |
jc
This is my hot button issue as most people around here know! I will never understand it, and I hate to say but I'm sure it will always be that way. Believe it or not I actually have a black nephew and my friends who know this, STILL don't care! What's worse is my own family is also very racist and make comments and "jokes" infront of him and his mother(my sister).
People can argue that "that's the way I was raised" and so on... but truthfully there is absolutely NO excuse for it. I wish there was a cure-all tip I could give you, but I don't know what it is! I guess just make your feelings known and be strong about it, yet not overbearing. (if that makes sense). If you're a good example then you may just make a difference in the way other people feel about it! In a sense you're "selling" your point of view so you can't be a jerk about it and shove it down peoples' throats. And if they don't respect your convictions, respectfully tell them you can't hang out anymore.
Bottom line is we're all the same and nobody is less or more important than another based purely on race or gender, etc. The people who don't get it are the less fortunate because of what their narrow minds are missing out on.
I live in a fairly diverse city and have witnessed many hurtful things. Some days it infuriates me, other days it brings me to tears. I'm learning not to take it personally and I'm starting to feel sorry for the ignorant morons.
Just hang in there, Tim, and be there for your sis as much as possible! You have no idea how lucky you are to have such an understanding and accepting family.
![[Linked Image from media.lehighvalleylive.com]](http://media.lehighvalleylive.com/tv_impact/photo/birds-of-war-3b1e411c023703c8_custom_120xauto.jpg) Birds of War
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 890
Dawg Talker
|
|
Dawg Talker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 890 |
Try to accept that they're joking and not trying to offend you, yeah it's not really a good way of humor, but it is a common joke that people make. They aren't necessarily racist, they just think the joke is funny, so they say it without thinking really.
Only advice I really can give is just try to ignore it.
![[Linked Image from i4.photobucket.com]](http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y132/Defiantmac/nickk2.jpg) PRO-BOWLER!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 15,076
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 15,076 |
Quote:
For some background, I am white. Fortunately for me, my parents raised my sisters and me the proper way. I do not hold stereotypes of people based on race, sex, sexual orientation, etc. Instead, I love/loathe people on an individual basis, which is the way I feel it should be.
If this is how you were raised, then you honor your parents by the way you live your life. It seems apparent that your sister learned those same lessons, as well. She too, honors your parents' ethics by making this loving choice.
Some of the people you mentioned in your concerns may not have been so lucky as you. They may have been taught mistrust and intolerance instead... or worse yet, taught nothing at all... and were allowed to be influenced by people who set a low bar for themselves. Don't be fooled- "educated" people are not the same as "open-minded people."
At some point, those who don't know about your neice will find out. Either they'll stop by when your sis is visiting, word of mouth will reach their ears, or you'll simply tell them. What they do with that information will tell you what you need to know... and if they are worth having in your life. It might even turn out that YOU no longer wish to hang with them, if they can't get with your family's program.
"Friends," co-workers and acquaintences come and go. Family is forever.
bfs79- my family has been dealing with this superficial skintone crap for at least 3 or 4 generations... it's nothing new. Like 'Peen said- life is about dealing with what comes our way. We were raised in the same philosophy as you, and it sometmes put us at odds with other folk. Bottom line- we knew we were right to believe as we did, so the things they said and thought couldn't really hurt us- unless we allowed them to. If your family truly lives the philosophy that you were raised with, they'll define themselves by the way they deal with this issue... and it will be on their terms. How you deal with your friends will define you, as well.
I sense that your post is less about your sister and her choice than it is about how her choice will impact your life. Answer: as much as you allow it to. If your friends and co-workers can't accept this new reality for you and your family, there's little you can do about it... nor should you really want to. What's the point of worrying about the kind of folks who'd let this change their feelings about you?
On the other hand, if they are as "educated" as you say they are... maybe your family will serve as their next big "lesson"...
Will they pass, or will they fail?
The cool part is- YOU get to decide that. Not them.
.02,
Clemdawg
"too many notes, not enough music-"
#GMStong
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 39,556
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 39,556 |
Quote:
Quote:
I don't know who it was - actually there were several that, while discussing the issue of this thread, felt it was no problem or it was justified, to use hillbilly and redneck to describe a certain group of people.
1 of them was me so I apologize fully if you or anyone else were offended by my comment of "redneck"......Hope that makes things better
I am a redneck, but wasn't offended. My mama taught me stick and stones might break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
That's why I laugh when people get in a big huff about calling people some name. It's only when one group can or somehow has gotten people to think their moniker is somehow "worse" than the others that gets me ticked.
If everybody had like minds, we would never learn. GM Strong
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,458
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,458 |
I have never been offended by a joke that pokes fun at my race, ethnicity, or gender.
I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 27,314
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 27,314 |
Quote:
I know one of the secretaries at work makes racist comments all the time. Heck, I don't even think she realizes she does it. One of the regular patients at my mom's dental office was telling her a joke about how if Obama wins the election, they're going to replace the Rose Garden at the White House with a watermelon garden. When my mom told him that was inappropriate and how my sister was adopting a black baby, he made a comment that I fear many people have at least thought: "Why would they want to do something like that?"
She missed a great chance to say. "Because unlike you, they are not racist" Then watch the stupid stunned look on her face, before walking away.
I also wonder why your mom felt the need to point out the fact that the baby girl was black. If your sister had adopted a white baby girl, whould she have pointed out that the baby was white?
I AM ALWAYS RIGHT... except when I am wrong.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 15,015
Legend
|
|
Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 15,015 |
Quote:
Look dude, the people you are fed up with, at their core, are a bunch of no good, backwoods, hicks.
I know some backwoods hicks, and they aren't racist, at least not that I have ever seen.
I guess racism isn't right, but stereotyping is.
Racism is something that is here, and will be for several more generations at least. With each generation it slowly fades, but it is hard to teach people who are already racist either by experience, upbringing or whatever, how not to be racist. For a lot of people it isn't intentional, but reactionary.
Add that racism takes on many forms and many levels, from the simple joke teller to the supremest, it is something you can either try to deny exists, something you can actively fight, or something you can learn to blow off when in it's minimalist forms.
Often, those who are in the simplest form (joke telling) don't always realize that it is racism, or that it affects people, and simply talking to them will help some, or at least make them aware.
We don't have to agree with each other, to respect each others opinion.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 88
Practice Squad
|
|
Practice Squad
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 88 |
O.K. I'm going to be a realist and shoot you straight. You're friends are just like you and everyone else. Take what they say with a grain of salt, because I am guessing they are jokes. We have all made racist comments or jokes, everyone, including me and all the other people on here who claim to be saints. I know alot of people feel awesome claiming they don't do politically incorrect things, but those claims only make one a liar, and that's far worse than being politically incorrect. Hey anyone can lie to other people, but you can't lie to yourself. So honestly who in here never makes a racist joke or comment?? I'll bet the majority of us deep down don't really have a problem with other races either. Comments about the unfamiliar is just what humans do.
At the end of the day Brownsfan79, I'd say just brush it off. Unless your friends are hateful, they are just having fun because they are unfamiliar. I've done it and still do when around white friends. As does most of the people in here, even though they will just lie about it and crucify me for being honest. You know what though, I still have acquaintances and co-workers of other races that I get along with just fine.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,833
Dawg Talker
|
|
Dawg Talker
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,833 |
Quote:
Quote:
One of my absolute best friends makes racist jokes a lot. A guy I play basketball with whom I consider a good friend was telling me once that one of the best things we ever did for black people was bring them over to the U.S. as slaves, since they now get to experience the "good life."
Perhaps your buddy needs to go above the scant world history that they teach in high school. For one, one of the biggest reasons Africa has such social, and economic turmoil is because prior to, and during, the North Atlantic Slave trade, virtually all of Europe invaded Africa. After the invasion and slaughter of much of Africa. European countries sucked up all of Africa's resources, set up phony political boundaries - which meant different currency, and different languages for all of the different countries within Africa.
Don't believe me? Go look up the history of Debeers diamonds. Go look up King Leopold. Go look up the history of the boundaries between the African countries of Ghana, Togo, and Benin.
Second, you buddy also needs to understand that "we" didn't simply go into Africa and take a bunch of people, call them slaves, and bring them over here.
Most African slaves were brought to South America, because they were better able to adapt to humid conditions. Many of the slaves that were brought over were sold to European invaders because African rulers saw many young African man as a threat to their throne, also, many slaves were in African prisons when African rulers sold them to us.
Perhaps you and your family need to stop hanging out with a bunch of stupid hillbilly's. -I admit, that's hard to do around Northeast Ohio, but, hey, I've found a way.
Virtually all of Europe invaded Africa? Are you kidding? Stanley made headlines searching for Livingstone with the words" Dr. Livigstone I presume" Nov. 10, 1871. It was headlines b/c whites knew nothing of Africa and few ventured to the interior b/c of disease and hostile natives. The source of the Nile was discovered by explorers in 1866.Centuries of invasion? All African slaves were brought from the interior to the coast. The Africans' did this out of GREED. BTW slavery was common in the world at that time and the first countries that made the push to abolish slavery were Britain and the US. It is true that colonies were established to support the "mother country". The American colonies were no exception. What happened here? Why have other former colonies suffered while others have prospered? The former African colonies have been given lots of aid and still they fail. Yet they still blame colonialism? If the European had not "invaded" what would Africa be like now? I say in even worse shape .....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,431
Hall of Famer
|
|
Hall of Famer
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,431 |
Quote:
If the European had not "invaded" what would Africa be like now? I say in even worse shape .....
And you base that assumption on what exactly ? It is in the best interests of the "civilized" world to keep Africa the way it is to further their interests in that continent and that is my opinion.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,833
Dawg Talker
|
|
Dawg Talker
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,833 |
and you base your opinion on what?
the fact is that the west has pumped billions into Africa., buiilt infrastructure etc. and it all crumbles and turns into jungle within a few years. If it wasn't for the West's aid, Africa would not have even that. That is what I base my assumption on.....
Africa = Apathy
they don't care enough to do what it takes to prosper,why should the West?
|
|
|
DawgTalkers.net
Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Dealing with Racism..
|
|
