DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum I met a girl, Part 1...

When it comes to dating, I've been about as lucky as the Browns' quest to get to the big game. Let alone win it.
But I may have stumbled on something, or someone, interesting.
Last Sunday my mother encouraged me to go to a Bible study group at my church. I told her I wasn't interested but that I'd go just to shut her up. Two days later, (Aug. 26) I go and wind up there five minutes late. I walk in and I immediately can sense which one she is--there's a few young people there--and most of the group is 55 or older. Where I live there's not much for young people to do.
After the session is over I'm talking to someone else about the readings and she introduces herself to me. We talk and I tell her I'm a writer for a newspaper. That really gets her excited and she gives me a high-five in the middle of the room. I was like, uh, okay? But then she proceeds to write down her name and contact info on the back of an envelope. I do likewise, not really knowing why I'm doing this. Then she says she wants to get together with me sometime. I've never met this girl in my life. None of my friends knew her. It's a random girl from the St. Petersburg Florida area that moved up with her sister and lives next door to my church. (She's about 5'6, blonde, thin, athletic, etc.)
So she wants to know about my writing career. In the past week and a half, she's send me a few e-mails and I've called her a few times. I'm set to meet her at 5 today. She wants to take a walk in the park and go for dinner.

Even if it's never a dating thing--she probably has a boyfriend--it would be cool if it was. I'd be happy if it was a day to day friend--I have close friends (Mike and Jen) but they moved away from me. They're like Winslow and BE, because they go deep for me and have since college. They're clutch.

But I'd like some local friends in the area or (gasp! a girlfriend) a good reliable day-to-day friend to talk to. A lot like Donte Stallworth or Steve Heiden on bread-and-butter underneath routes like slants or quick hitch routes. I miss college--there's a window to meet young people that's closed for me. All the people I work with are 40 or older.

That being said, based on my past experiences, I don't want to get too excited. She might just want to talk about my writing career and nothing else. She went to Rice, majored in poli-sci and wants to get a PhD. I'm a reporter with a lowly bachelor's degree although I'm looking at a master's degree. If she just wants to hear about my writing career I'll tell her and then get the hell out of there.

But if she wants to really get to know me, well then, we can go that route. I don't know how to deal with girls much...the last few times I've attempted I've failed. I'm 24 and have had no real success at this point. She doesn't seem like a boozer either. She is a swimmer and a cyclist; I'm a 5k runner.

At least she likes Phil Collins.

Any advice? I'll post Part 2 later tonight--10:30 p.m. EDT or so.

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Just have fun and don't expect anything...roll with it. Oh, and one thing I've learned from advice threads -- don't listen to anything the guys here will tell you. Good luck.

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Now thats some sound advice...

Really have fun, things happen when you least expect them too, people push to make things happen and they dont, have fun, if nothing else ever happens atleast ya might get a friend out of this and a friend isnt a bad thing to have.

PS. Find out right away if she's a Browns fan, if not drop her like Quincy Morgan dropped footballs.

Being from St. Pete, she's probably a Buccaneers fan, so there's room for an AFC team in her fandom.

Church groups are probably the absolute BEST place to meet women. Now I'm not talking about one-night-stand women. I'm talking about long term relationship/potential wife type women. Because you go to the same type of church, you are much more likely to have the same set of core beliefs ... which go a long, long way further down the road. You won't get into many heated moral arguments, you won't have to consider going to church twice on Sundays, you won't have fights over which religion is best for your kids, etc.

Just be yourself. Act natural ... ish. Don't smother her, or give her any indication that you are completely desperate for her.

my early read on this is that she likes you...if she went out of the way to introduce herself, and give you contact info and take a walk and go to dinner...

and what ExclDawg is right...thats a great place to meet a real keeper.

and just a small bit of advice...i wouldnt use all the browns analogies around her...not until later on.

excel,
well I met her last Tuesday (Aug. 26). She sent me an e-mail the following day. Thankfully my co-worker--a recent hire about my age--told me to e-mail her the next day..."You don't want to get the impression that you're waiting for her," he said.

The key to this is to be ahead in the "decision-making loop," as the military refers to it. (My friend in VII Corps (1st AD) used that phrase when planning to stay one step ahead of the Soviets during the Cold War in Europe, but that's another story. He was in the US Army from '80 to '88 and was in VII Corps. His friend was in V Corps...whatever).

If you have the girl reacting to you by building a sense of mystery and having her WANT to know you more then you're good. But if you read and react right away she'll probably think you're needy.

She e-mailed me the 27th. I responded the 28th. Didn't hear from her until the 30th, and that was to call to confirm she would be at last night's (2nd Sept.) Bible study. Then I sent her a random e-mail with a youtube link to a Phil Collins song that night--not really thinking...a bit tired. She replies right away and asks me how my weekend was. Then I saw her last night. Now I get to meet her today at 3. She changed her plans--one minute it's 5:30, then it's 2 p.m. Then it's 3...so we're going to meet somewhere in Chesterland (argh!) this afternoon. I have a 7:30 meeting to cover too so we can't spend too much time together

Bah, best place to meet women is at keg'rs and strip clubs, don't let anyone tell you differently.

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so then he needs 3 and a HALF minutes then?

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Ahhhhh....To be young again......at my age you think about it or the wind blows and it's over

At your age ... you use viagra just so you don't pee on your shoes.

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At your age ... you use viagra just so you don't pee on your shoes.

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LOL....ant that the truth.....I always laugh about those commericals, that say if you experiance it for 4 hours contact your doctor.....heck if I have one for 4 hours forget the doctor, call the police, lock the door, shut the windows, put the sheep in the barn.....becuase if it's up for 4 hours I'm gonna use it....

She's interested in you ? That's half the battle won. Figure her out, and if she's golden, hang on and treat her right. These kind of women are hard to find. Good luck.

OoohRahJoice...
Well, I'm kinda guarded. She's nice and all, and it sounds like she wants to know about me, but sometimes I'm not sure. She wants to know about my writing career first and foremost, although in her last e-mail she asked me what my favorite movie was.

In the past I've met girls and guys who I thought were my friends, but they just wanted to talk writing with me and not much else. So that's why I'm a bit apprehensive. There are people who are *nice* to me but not my friends--they only like me from a professional standpoint.

I'm not really expecting anything. If she turns out to be more Tim Couch than Tim Brown, then I'll move on. I'm really looking at doing Volunteer Work at Habitat For Humanity to meet people. But--because I live in Geauga County--the people I meet at Habitat are probably going to be middle-aged and married. I'll still have fun helping there. That's my backup. I'll still go to Bible study if Kath busts but I won't talk to her outside of that. I'm telling myself not to get too excited.

What's ironic is that although I'm 24 I've always related better to my parents' friends than kids my own age. But that makes it worse because I'll never be able to truly understand them--they're nice but they've got their own lives and kids and mortgages and whatnot, while I'm still living at home and trying to buy a house.

I was hesitant about posting this in the first place, because I *know* Beerdowner and Ammo will come in. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.

But thanks for the advice.

Damn bro, I guess it just comes down to confidence. Tell her what your thinking, if she doesn't like it man don't waste your time. One thing off track but I must say, saying they go deep for me is fricking halrious, and don't use those football anaolgies when your with her. *L*

I doubt that she has a boyfreind if she wants to do dinner. If you like her, tell her you want to see her again, if she doesn't connect the dots then she isn't interested and move on. Women should be treated with respect, but not there is only one on the planet respect. If isn't interested at first bro don't be afraid to diss her and not respond to her emails and phone calls. When you run into her later on at least you'll have something to talk about (why you didn't call).

Just be honest, don't BS her, don't BS yourself and above all, don't be intimidated by her. She sounds sweet, probably won't bite your head off....like Jules would.

and don't take advice from women who like women.

That's actually the very best people to take advice from.

The guys who think they give the best advice on this are the one's who can't keep a girlfriend....and lie about it by puffing out their chests here.

Woah!

why so defensive?

I never understand why making a comment is considered being defensive. Some can't handle the truth, I suppose.

I am so easily amused.

j/c

thanks for all the advice. I will give you an update later on.
When I first got on, one of the first posts I got was "Listen to me and Beerdowner when it comes to advice about women."

But in truth, I've gotten good advice from people more experienced than me. There is advantage to not being a college kid, and there are times when I wish I was 50 and experienced. There are times I hate being only 24. I'm young and have no power in this world yet.

Asia....Dont go into this with a plan or a stratigy, it's not like your going to war or anything, just enjoy......dont over think what she wants, she will tell ya what she wants later, dont try to figure her out.....you cant.....just enjoy the fact you get to spend some time with a attractive lady.....enjoy that, nothing more nothing less, enjoy the fact somebody else wants to spent time with you and maybe more.

Relationships get ruined becuase one side or the other plans or try to be something there not...Just be yourself, and I hope your understand when I say, Dont think......just enjoy the company

Just relax, be yourself and have fun. You've said you're not sure if she's interested in you or your writing. Answer her questions, but ask her lots of questions about herself and what she does. Ask questions about movies, music, books etc that she enjoys. At the end, if you feel the vibe, ask her to meet for another dinner.

I hear wedding bells son,, you are hooked

Just kidding,, the best advice anyone can give you is this;

Be yourself,, if it's meant to be, it will..if not, then that's ok too..

Best of luck with her.

Ignore everything everyone has said on here, and listen to me.

That whole relax and be yourself, BS will get you nowhere.


Just be yourself, and relax. That's the ticket.

I won't pretend to know what women want because they want it all (and that's the truth).

They want sensitive, but strong and aggressive. They want kind, but isn't afraid to law the law down.

Bottom line, they are crazy. At least men know what they want...plump assets and a sweet demeanor.

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Any advice? I'll post Part 2 later tonight--10:30 p.m. EDT or so.

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Yes please post Part 2 in this thread, so your lack of love life isn't floating all over this damn board, because honestly some of us don't give a crap.

Thanks in advance

Ahhhh.....always a hint of sunshine and a breath of fresh air......

Nice guy that Fletch.

First off, good luck. This girl seems outgoing, and pretty cool. However, she may be like that with everybody. -Who knows bro? Your smart, go with your instincts. Hang out with her if you can, ask a few subtle probing questions, and then determine if you should ask her out for dinner, or ask her over for dinner and a movie. -It may work, it may not. Always be a gentleman, never lose your cool. If she declines, be a gentleman, be cool. You'll be alright.

PS. I read what Fletch wrote, -obviously he is trying to make this thread about him and his bleak outlook on the Universe, my advice to you is to not pay him any attention.

This thread is about you, keep it that way.

you seem to have some common ground in your tastes in music (Phil Collins) thats a good place to start, like most others have said, be yourself and relax, also dont expect a complete perfect match, there's always got to be some differences in every relationship, god knows how me and my wife get along so well , at any rate good luck

My biggest advice? Be yourself, but don't use so many football analogies with her until she flat out says she loves football.

Good luck.