DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum We need a little mid week humor!!!

'Late again,' the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. 'It ain't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this 'one on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!'

Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that.Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth.

'You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low down coyote. The last few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma; 'That darn coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!'' 'Stay back,' he whispered to all us kids.

He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that double barreled 12-gauge shot gun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyote on his mind, our old hound dog Zeke had done woke up and comes sneakin' up behind Daddy. Then as we all looked on plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold nose in Daddy's butt !

'Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!'


nordawg

Heres another one....


> > THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.
> >
> > SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.
> >
> > A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'
> >
> > THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.
> >
> > THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.
> > THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID..........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT....
> >
> > I'M GETTING A FAX!!

nordawg