DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum The Wisdom of Dawgtalkers 2.0

Hey Dawgs

Haven't been around as much these past 6 months, job changes, offseason and summer golf etc Try to get on daily but rarely log in these days. Started a thread like this last year and it went down well, my absences this year will undoubtedly mean that i've missed a boatload of gems but there's more than enough funny stuff in here thats made me LOL this past season.

So without further ado, here are just a few of some of the more memorable quotes from Dawgtalkers own over the last year or so, the timing makes the wait for summat interesting to happen a less painful hopefully .

Enjoy

DCDawgfan - If I went into any other country and flew the American flag above their flag, I would expect a serious reaction... and if I didn't get one, well then I'd know... that I had somehow ended up in France.
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Boise - Can we find something else to knock the snot out of

Diam - Wanna start a thread on Daman and what color skirts he looks best in ....
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Molly Hatchet Dawg - But the Bengal faithful still treat this guy like the second coming. Sad,really.


Topdawg16 - What is this Bengal "faithful" you speak of?
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Clemdawg -
Not to add fuel to fire, or to fan it...
But this prospect- the Browns should just ban it.
For we simply don't need
A guy blessed with speed
But is cursed with two hands made of granite.
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Gift Horse - This is a mid round DT pig whose job is to fill a hole and move about two feet in either direction. Jeesh, a guy that size probably craps 12lbs after a meal..
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Lampy - FYI Diam: jackass is one word - no space between jack and ass.

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Purp - Phil (to Donte): "You complete me."

Donte: "You had me at 'big signing bonus'. "
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Ndutyme - My recollections of D&D is a table full of Trench Coat Mafia members sitting in DeVry's cafeteria for hours...you could almost smell the stench of virginity.

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Excl to Pit - What the heck are you talking about?

Miss South Carolina, is that you?
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On the debate of allowing blogs and rumours:

Excl - Word has it that the Referees have made a final decision about Blogs and Rumors being allowed on the board, and there will be a sticky thread posted at 4pm.

Also, there are rumblings that the Refs traded shepdawg to PFT for cash and a poster to be named at a later date.

Dawgpound017 - Link?

Pdawg - http//www.thankgodwegotridofshep.com

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Re: The Dirty Brown Towel:
Medmann - What a lame & pathetic knockoff.
Thebigbaddawg - Just like the Bengals!

jfanent - Only Mr.Edman would be looking for used items on the floor of a men's room.
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Kingcob - Tommy Blake was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, not bi-polar. A slightly preferable treatment. Then again, a manic pass rusher would be incredible to watch.
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Jfanent - Yeah, remember when we had beauties like Billie Jean King and Martina Navratilova playing?
Kingodawg - Those are my favorite tennis players of all time

Signed

Peppermint Patty.

Julesdawg - And Jules.
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I like this one as it reminds me of the footage everytim i read it

LeBron James - matt stover will go into the hall of fame strictly for getting owned on television by derek anderson

WE GOT OVERTIME BOYS!
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.......and written in stone folks, straight from the horses mouth

Ballpeen - Actually, I thought Couch was the right pick and thought he was going to be a good qb.

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BpG - My farts are wonderful!


FYI
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anarchy2day - Oklahoma is a nice state. I lived next to it (in Texas) for better than 20 years. I saw a trucker washing his balls at the sink of a truck stop there once.
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These next exchanges were taken from Shotty's date thread. Several pages full of "Win" LMAO

Beerdowner to Michelle - I am a pimp when it comes to this stuff. Trust me, they like the sweet texts after the date.


Dawgpound017 - My only advice to you is, if she says "stop," no," or "don't," listen to her. Otherwise, it's called rape.


bignasty31 - Depends on the order; switch up the order to no, don't stop, and we've got ourselves a whole different situation.


DC - (waiting for an update) - In Vegas it's only 6:30am right now... right about now he's staring at the ceiling deciding if he should just go ahead and chew his own arm off so he can get out without waking her up.


ClayM57 - Ohhhh...god...I hate that ....ya lye there and wonder just how in the heck did you mistake this hairy beast of a women your lying next to as a twin sister to Jessica simpson last night....Things start to make sence as your lying there, wondering if your body can still take the trama of a fall from a second story window if you make a mad dash to the window and hurl yourself out. You begin to realize why in a bar full of mostly men she was the only female standing at the bar not being hit on, You realize it is summer and way to hot to wear fluffy leg warmers....which means she hasnt shaved since Vince Lambardi was the Packers head coach.....but one of the worst things is you remember as her brother was driving away the 5 kids bouncing around the back of the pick-up isnt just his kids thier there kids.


Ammo - Does someone have a negative experience to share?


Dawg Duty - Dude, All us old married guys were rooting for you and you turned it down......Sheesh.....Now I might as well go back to letting Phil turn me into a Commie.


Choco - this wont end well......sorry man.

you old folks seem to think booze is a bad thing.....but its a truth serum. you rejected her.....if you know anything about women, that will come back to haunt you.

most women are insecure, and many prefer to get the ball rolling while on the sauce. it makes it easier for them. damn, you blew that one....

Staying over doesn't necessarily mean sex!

Jules - She's a slut, move on.

DC - You say that like it's a bad thing...

Dawg Duty - What are you Ammo 20 years old and already you have Football, Baseball, politics and women figured out. You are a amazing guy.

Erikin Hell - I just listen up to what they want.


And I can lick my eyebrows.

Gmdawg - Thats nothing to brag about. I can lick your eyebrows to. Now stand still


Choco - you guys really have this big of a problem with the written engrish language?
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GmDawg - Couch and Holcomb now that was a carbunkle. What we have now is more like a breast. Both of them look good, and I'll be happy with which ever one we play with.
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Clemdawg - Actually, no.
JJ had a STAPH infection. (staphylococcus aureas)


A "staff" infection is what the Browns suffered from 1999 to 2004.


but, what's in a name?

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CurlyD on Keith Rivers' Holdout:
Well they say he showed up to training camp today..Not on the field but a deal is imminent. Goodie goodie!

(The poster formerly known as "CoachB" - That's great news. That means by this time tomorrow, he'll be arrested.
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dawglover05 - The funny thing is this backup line is doing just as good as our OL probably did as a whole in '06 and '05.


and on reflection a minute later:

dawglover05 - Actually that's not funny at all now that I think about it.
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Thebigbaddawg - Blow me DA.

CapcityDawg - He'd miss, even if you were wide open


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DC on the QB change:
In a potentially related story, DA just slashed BE's tires.
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From Eo's What i Saw thread:

CapCityDawg:
I saw a safety roll over on the goal line and not challenge a runner because he was too worried about bruising his vagina
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Spectre - I'm sorry that you couldn't give me the courtesy of reading the following sentence to try to take the first even remotely in context.

Fletch - Apology accepted.
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AsianDawg on online dating:

One neat thing: Through the site, I met a Brownie fan that graduated from Ohio University. She's a Quinn fan but said she liked DA when he started in '07.

Kingodawg - I thought you already knew Ammo??

Same thread:

Asiandawg - I've been looking at online dating, .... I'm willing to get back on that horse and try.

DC - Dude, what kind of sites are you using?

Asiandawg (oblivious) - Mainly Catholic online dating sites. I haven't looked at eHarmony or match.com yet.
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Phildawsonrocks on Braylon - I think it's all mental with the kid...I think he's battling some demons.

Personally, I think he might be gay and struggling with it.

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RememberMuni to DawgMichelle after posting a piccy of himself:

Come on dude, grade me.
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Joe 88 on Bruce Drennan - This guy is a joker and needs designated for assignment. The only thing he knows with any accuracy are historical baseball facts. He can't go into deep strategy on any sport. He gets his facts wrong all of the time. He talks loud and cuts off callers that are smarter than him. I am sick of this jerkball. Its like Diamdawg having his own tv show.
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Quote:

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Thebigbaddawg - Blow me DA.

CapcityDawg - He'd miss, even if you were wide open

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That is hilarious!
It's funny because it's true.

Quote:

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Boise - Can we find something else to knock the snot out of

Diam - Wanna start a thread on Daman and what color skirts he looks best in ....

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My buddy Diam,, always good for a laugh isn't he

"Joe 88 on Bruce Drennan - This guy is a joker and needs designated for assignment. The only thing he knows with any accuracy are historical baseball facts. He can't go into deep strategy on any sport. He gets his facts wrong all of the time. He talks loud and cuts off callers that are smarter than him. I am sick of this jerkball. Its like Diamdawg having his own tv show."




This one definitely gets my vote for funniest post of the year.


KING

Yeah, thanks Riddler. Those are downright priceless.

Glad I could contribute.

Good ole dawgtalk..always good for a laugh.

Anybody else need their eyebrows licked?

Thoroughly enjoyable. I am making a note to my self to strive for "memorablitizing: writing (Bushism) for the coming year. Want to be on the 'less than visual' highlights of lowlife reels. I eespecially like the comment about eyebrow swabbing and am still laughing at that one. Lowbrow brilliance! My kinda posts! Thankee!

Yep, but it keeps my daughter safe

Can I hire you in about 15 years then? Hell, I don't even think the boys will wait that long for Anna. They're already vying for her hand in marriage at the sitter's house!

I noticed a couple of five year old punks drooling over her the other day

man, that stuff is classic! hope you keep them coming

Good stuff! Thanks!

Thanks Riddler! Glad to see that I could contribute.

Do you realize that I have spent every waking moment trying to get on this list? All I got was a blip about Shep? I think I'll start hating you Aussies more then the French...Oh wait. you ain't really an Aussie. Just a wannabe from that miserable dreary place known as the UK.

Haha, well i gotta be honest, a helluva lot of the zingers probably went under the radar....i'll do better next year.

Wannabe Aussie? I only moved there hoping some of my coolness would rub off on the natives. My efforts have been in vain alas. There's a contingent that still follow silly bunnies around like sheep and whats worse, export the fandom to people stateside also!! You just can't edumacate some people.....

The Bunnies Rock!! And I'm not just saying that because I was recruited by a gorgeous blond.

Quote:

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And I'm not just saying that because I was recruited by a gorgeous blond.

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I thought it was Soybomb who recruited you? Who's this gorgeous blonde?


(Ok i'm gonna run now as i'm probably in trouble.... )

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Do you realize that I have spent every waking moment trying to get on this list? All I got was a blip about Shep?

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You should be honored not ingrateful. Ungrateful. Whatever.

Dang! I made the list... not once, but twice. Didn't see that one comin'.

Riddler.... this is great. A blast of a thread, for sure. If I never make the grade again, I'll always stop in. Keep the tradition, R-Dawgg.

Fun stuff.

Your a regular Dom Delouise

gee, thanks.

so much.

Would you have rather I said Eddie Murphy

anything but Don Knotts or Martin Lawrence, and we're cool...

Alrighty then Mr Foxworthy

Wise words my dad once gave me:

"When in doubt, take shots"

think about that for a second

Your dad was a drunk