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Here's an article I wrote. I thought it could inspire some interesting discussion.
Once a cellar dweller, the New England Patriots are now the cream of the crop in the NFL because of their ability to work the draft.
Everyone knows that the Patriots have been one of, if not the, best teams in the NFL. It is hard to argue with their success, four Super Bowl appearances since 2002, and three wins. But what is it that makes the Patriots so good?
First and foremost, they have a great coaching staff. Bill Belichick is one of the the best game planners in the NFL. Many of his assistants move on to become head coaches, including Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini and Josh McDaniels. Their success as head coaches is up for debate, but all of them were great coordinators in New England.
What sets the Patriots apart from the rest of the league is their drafting. They get starters on the second day as well as the first. This isn’t to say that they haven’t had busts, but they gather a large quantity of picks, which increases their odds of getting good players. The Patriots traded back three spots in the first round (pick 23 to 26) with the Ravens and then traded back from 26 to 41 with Green Bay. They had four second round draft picks in 2009 and have collected three in 2010. New England has complete confidence in its scouts, evidenced by the selection of Sebestian Vollmer, an offensive tackle from Houston, in the second round, at least two rounds ahead of where he was slotted to go.
The Patriots rarely indulge in high priced free agents and only sign lower priced veterans. Adalius Thomas is the exception to this, though he was a 29-year-old veteran when he was signed. They continued with this trend by signing tight end Chris Baker, wide receiver Joey Galloway, defensive backs Shawn Springs and Leigh Bodden and running back Fred Taylor this offseason. The Patriots also differ from most teams in that they resist giving huge contracts to their home-grown talent, with the easily explicable exception of Tom Brady. They have no qualms about trading good players for draft picks, as Deion Branch and Ellis Hobbs have learned.
The team starts replacing soon-to-be free agents before they become free agents. New England drafted nose tackle Ron Brace with the 40th pick despite having Pro Bowler Vince Wilfork at the spot. Wilfork’s contract is up after this season.
The Pats also have an uncanny ability to know when a veteran has any gas left in the tank. They released Willie McGinest after his last full season, and Rodney Harrison won’t be coming back. Despite their productivity and their status as fan favorites, the team let them go with no issues.
The final piece of the puzzle is the Patriots’ scheme. They run a basic 3-4 defense with very few complex blitzes. This differs from notable defenses such as the Baltimore Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers, who blitz well and often. Rather, an emphasis is placed on coverage and fundamentals. Their defensive line consists of three first-round draft picks, two of whom have made Pro Bowls, and they added three defensive linemen in this year’s draft. They like veterans at both linebacker and defensive back. Intelligence is valued over talent.
New England’s offense is very pass happy, but this is a new development. Two years ago, they added Randy Moss and Wes Welker to make the offense more dynamic. They favor blocking over pass-catching in their tight ends. They value all-around backs who can block and catch as well as they can run, and they like to work a two-back system. In 2010, that system will involve former first-rounder Lawrence Maroney and recently signed Fred Taylor.
Teams have been trying to copy the Patriots’ way of doing business lately. Belichick disciple and current Browns’ head coach, Eric Mangini, is employing the same ideology. The team traded star tight end Kellen Winslow and traded back in the first round on three separate occasions.
The Patriots are a unique franchise, and they make moves that leave people questioning and second guessing. But the team rarely makes mistakes, and its record speaks for itself. linky
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Very solid. Agree with all points.
When I compare this to Mangini and the Browns, I hope we blitz more under Rob Ryan because he likely has the same ideology of his brother and father.
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He likes to blitz, but the Ryans do run more prevent than you'd expect considering their reputation. Rex and Rob run slightly different 3-4's, but they are very similar.
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Quote:
He likes to blitz, but the Ryans do run more prevent than you'd expect considering their reputation. Rex and Rob run slightly different 3-4's, but they are very similar.
Not sure if it's fair to evaluate because Rob was largely controlled by Al Davis, even when he tried to run the 3-4.
We'll see though.
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Good Post. I would probably rate the Steelers, Pats, and Eagles of having the "model franchise." The only point I would add is they all have great owners that stay the hell out of the way, and let the football guys run the operation.
My personal opinion on the model franchise is having stability in the front office. everyone has defined roles, and works well together. that would be followed by a strong head coach, and a great quarterback. I think if you're strong in those 3 areas, I think you'll have a great run like the pats, and colts have had the last 10 years.
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With the exception of one line, that was very well written.  Quote:
In 2010, that system will involve former first-rounder Lawrence Maroney and recently signed Fred Taylor.
If you were Grossi, Damanshot would jump all over you for not knowing which year it was. 
Good job.
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Legend
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Quote:
If you were Grossi, Damanshot would jump all over you for not knowing which year it was.
If Deep were Grossi, I'd never even speak to him 
Deep,, nice job.. Thanks
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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nice article and well written. Not to Nit Pick but I ASSume you posted this article here for Criticism didn't you?  
Just one thing like smacked me in the face as I read - when you noted the excellent Coaches he's had in his staff there was an omission of Charlie Weiss a very key Coach in all of this as he sort of had a close hand in building the offense and tutoring McDaniels as well as our current OC Daboll.
But good thought process and touched on some keys of their successes.
thanks for sharing 
Defense wins championships. Watson play your butt off!
Go Browns!
CHRIST HAS RISEN!
GM Strong! & Stay safe everyone!
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Legend
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Good post.
Can not argue with success. And to think that what we have seen from the Patriots could have very easily been the Browns. A simple twist of fate.
Say it ain't so Art.
They got lucky with Brady but there is always an element of luck, even when preparation meets opportunity. When you look deep inside the numbers of the Pats it is even more astounding.
Post season record: 15-4
Regular season: 105-40
Those are sick numbers when you look at the financial structure of the NFL and the designed parity of the league.
I can only hope the Patriot way rubs off on Mangini and the Browns can become the next success story.
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Legend
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Quote:
First and foremost, they have a great coaching staff. Bill Belichick is one of the the best game planners in the NFL. Many of his assistants move on to become head coaches, including Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini and Josh McDaniels. Their success as head coaches is up for debate, but all of them were great coordinators in New England.
Belichick is the difference.....
Rarely do you find a HC with 20 yrs experience as an assistant, before becoming a HC.
Rarely do you find a HC who gains experience even if his teams do not do well. Belichick cut his teeth with the Browns head coaching job and found out, he did not know the offensive side of the ball very well.
Belichick had good teaching too....even after he failed as HC of the Browns...Parcells took Belichick under his wing and continued to teach him to be a head coach.
Belichick is driven like no coach I have ever seen in the NFL. The guy works harder than most HCs and his coaching staffs do the same...Belichick leads by example too, outworking most of his coaching staff.
Belichick is involved in every aspect of coaching the Patriots, on both sides of the ball. Few head coaches know the game well enough to do what Belichick does or has the experience that Belichick has.
Most teams, like the Browns, are hoping they can hire the next Bill Belichick.
Will Mangini be that man?
FOOTBALL IS NOT BASEBALL
Home of the Free, Because of the Brave...
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Quote:
Here's an article I wrote. I thought it could inspire some interesting discussion.
Golly Wes! Earlier this month you announced that you just got your temp drivers permit and now you write an article like a pro. I'm impressed, OK a little suspicious too.Kudos if.... but hey,It's all good. 
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Editors are supposed to catch that kind of thing.
Eo: I only mentioned NFL Head Coaches, but I probably should have mentioned Weiss.
Thanks to all for the props. And Illegal, I've always written like a pro. But now I am a pro.
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Raven
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Really good article. Hell, I would hire you if I owned a newspaper, but even they are going out of business. Keep this up and you'll be writing for the President soon...... 
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Sorry, but I have no desire to write in politics. How about I replace Grossi? 
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Deep has always been a thoughtful and articulate kid so no real need to be suspicious. He's been getting a little full of himself lately, but he's still a good guy.
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Raven
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I don't care who you replace..You have a God-given talent that shouldn't be wasted. Trust me, you can go a long way with the talent that you have and I would support you all the way with what I just read....
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In gauging Belichecks success from his assitant coaches, it doesnt do him any justice just naming what his assistants have went on and did in the pro ranks. You also have to add the assistant coaches that have went on and head coach in the college ranks- Saban at MSU, Alabama, and LSU; Weiss at Notre Dame; and possibly Ferentz at Iowa (or is he just a Savage connection?). You also should add that the assistants have not proven as successful as they were with Belicheck. Saban is the most successful of the assistants that have moved on. Maybe add that he worked under Parcells.
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OK I'll be the constructive one.
DT, while this is well-contructed and concise (meaning the content-to-word-count ratio is good) it's not particularly fresh or informative. This reads more like a summary of reports than news. The Patriots' drafting proficiency (as well as the Colts, the Steelers, and the Eagles) and handling of veterans is well-documented and universally-championed. The Bill Belichek "coaching tree" (a branch of the Bill Parcells sequoia) is discussed every time a head coaching position opens up.
I don't mean to be critical, but if you want to make a living from sportswriting, eventually you'll have to offer insight, shed light on important decisions or strategies or strokes of fate which led to the successes or failures of a coach/player/franchise which we haevn't seen from reports from John Clayton 2 years ago.
Obviously if you're just starting you probably don't have the contacts or exposure to the teams required for most of this kind of thing, but I think its a direction you should try to work towards if you want to further your career in this arena.
Like I said at the beginning, your writing is technically sound and well-constructed and is a good base to further your work.
But that's like, my opinion man.
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Quote:
The Patriots rarely indulge in high priced free agents and only sign lower priced veterans. Adalius Thomas is the exception to this, though he was a 29-year-old veteran when he was signed. They continued with this trend by signing tight end Chris Baker, wide receiver Joey Galloway, defensive backs Shawn Springs and Leigh Bodden and running back Fred Taylor this offseason.
The one thing that the Patriots have over any team is the ability to sign ex- Pro Bowlers and big big name free agents past their prime, under their market value. Mangini might have signed alot of vets that have added to the depth, but the Patriots sign players that have already won and sign there for way less then what they could get from other teams like- Randy Moss, Corey Dillon, Jr Seau, and Doug Flutie. Like Galloway, Springs and Taylor this year.
Mangini or any other NFL haed coach has alot to prove before he can bring in players to play for less just for a chance to win. The opposite of Washington and the 99 Browns. Players went there for the paycheck.
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Legend
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All teams that win championships have this "advantage" when it comes to free agency...
Pats signing Galloway, Bodden, etc.
Lakers signing Malone, Payton, etc.
The guys are getting old, and want to win a championship before they retire.
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My illiteracy caused me to think this was a thread on Art/The Browns... 
I made this in 2005 ![[Linked Image from i17.photobucket.com]](http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b53/hwfstyles/future1.jpg) Three down, One to get rid of...
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Quote:
Deep has always been a thoughtful and articulate kid so no real need to be suspicious. He's been getting a little full of himself lately, but he's still a good guy.
The CoachB thing made me paranoid.
Maybe we should be knocking him down a peg. How's this?
I read that article and IMO the chimp that wrote it was not fully trained
Seriously nice job Wes.When I was 16 I couldn't string two coherent thoughts together now that I'm almost 60...... I .. .what was I saying? ... nevermind.
Good work young man. We'll all say, "we knew you when."
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Quote:
Sorry, but I have no desire to write in politics. How about I replace Grossi?
As anyone would attest to,,, I'd love that.. someone with a brain finally,,,, If I could vote for that,, I'd do it..
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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Quote:
I don't mean to be critical, but if you want to make a living from sportswriting, eventually you'll have to offer insight, shed light on important decisions or strategies or strokes of fate which led to the successes or failures
Steve,, JMO, but DT did just that. He pointed out why someone was successful and what they did to become successful.
More important, outside of a date, his article was factual, honest and void of hyperbole. He called it as it is.
I will grant you that it is a subject that has been hashed out a number of times, but in every instance, the reporter rehashing it trys to tell us his opinion of why it worked. DT isn't doing that so much as he's just stating facts..
No bold predictions, no off the cuff comments, just good ole fashion expression of the facts..
Frankly, I like how this kid writes... there is an honesty to it. And we sure could use a hell of a lot more of that.. That's for sure.
As for subject matter, hey, give him time to get really entrenched and I think we are seeing the beginnings of a solid writer in the future..
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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Quote:
He pointed out why someone was successful and what they did to become successful.
Yes, that's true. I was just suggesting that the next step in his writing be working towards fresh contributions, stories that haven't been run through a number of times.
Quote:
outside of a date, his article was factual, honest and void of hyperbole. He called it as it is.
I will grant you that it is a subject that has been hashed out a number of times, but in every instance, the reporter rehashing it trys to tell us his opinion of why it worked. DT isn't doing that so much as he's just stating facts..
No bold predictions, no off the cuff comments, just good ole fashion expression of the facts..
Frankly, I like how this kid writes... there is an honesty to it. And we sure could use a hell of a lot more of that.. That's for sure.
As for subject matter, hey, give him time to get really entrenched and I think we are seeing the beginnings of a solid writer in the future..
I agree 100% and said as much in my post.
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Quote:
Maybe we should be knocking him down a peg.
Please do. Constructive criticism is much appreciated, as is straight up criticism.
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You have 2 paragraphs that contain a single sentence. That knocked off 2 points right there. Pass happy is an adjective and,IMO, should be hyphenated. i.e. pass-happy. Be certain to keep each paragraph to a single thought. The first sentence in each paragraph should be your point and the remaining content of the paragraph is the substance to prove that particular point. Your opening and closing paragraphs are weak.Notice the -2 points that were deducted? The opening paragraph is your intro and the closing is the conclusion. Both should somewhat mirror each other. I'll try to knock you down a peg on your grammar if I can. More later after I open a beer and change clothes. PS you use too many commas.You are comma-happy. IMO para 2 sentence 2 should be a semi-colon.Which reminds me. Spell out your numbers unless it is a larger number esp over ten.
Last edited by Line Judge; 05/27/09 05:34 PM.
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Legend
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When I get home i like to open my clothes and change my beer.
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Quote:
When I get home i like to open my clothes and change my beer.
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Para 3: might expand more on Bellyaches success, record? Para 4 : examples of 2nd day successes please... Para 5 : Adalius Thomas sentence should come later in the paragraph.That sentence about Vollmer is a run-on grammatical nightmare. Vollmer is one example. Expand a little please. Are there any other teams other than the Browns trying to copy the Pats? Just us? Para four; "They get starters..... " can't you find a better adjective like acquire or draft or obtain rather than get?Try to use more descriptive adjectives. You don't have to be like Dennis Miller,however  your article transitions seamlessly from paragraph to paragraph.ie. it flows. Not bad for a 15 y.o. Grade: B- It would have been nicer to see a few more stats to back up your claims or a quote or two. JMO ,and keep up the good work PS you want your narrative to sound conversational. You did well with that.
Last edited by Line Judge; 05/27/09 06:15 PM.
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Critique:
1. Nothing fresh. I didn't learn anything new. You should look at your subject with fresh eyes and try to find interesting angles. One thing you might want to research is games played by their starters on defense over the past few years. I've noticed that when they integrate rookies and young players on defense that they're bracketed by veterans with more than five years experience. They rarely get put in the position of having a young, prone to mistakes position grouping like our DBs were last year. Their defense is successful because of the fact that they rarely make "mentals".
2. "The Model Franchise" is the title. What are they doing as a franchise to make it a "model"? In the middle of your story you make cogent points but to lead with the fact that they have great coaches? That does not make a "model" for anything. Have great coaches....lol. I'm sure the other 31 franchises need the memo. Also having an uncanny ability to tell if veterans have anything in the tank does not help either. How are they doing this? That's what makes a model.
3. You assert in the end that people are copying the way they do business lately yet you only come up with one example. I could argue that people are moving away from the Belicheck tree lately...that it was held in great esteem two or three years ago but lately has faultered.
Overall pretty good construction but I'd tighten the premise up and go into further detail to mine new information. This reads as a nice summary of what everyone knows already.
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First off, I'd like to say that all grammatical errors lie on the shoulders of my editor. He clearly isn't up to snuff.
And I had much of what you mention, but I was forced to cut it out. They said my article was getting too long.
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1. Appreciate the feedback, but again, I can only type so much.
2. I don't choose the title. And what makes the Pats the model franchise is their consistency, trading back in the draft, superior drafting, and their willingness to part with players.
3. Again, I only have so much I can write, but I appreciate the feedback.
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If that's the case focus on unique content. Make a novel assertion then back it up. Those articles are much more intriguing to me.
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Show us what you had before editing then!
Ruckaholics Anonymous: We can help.
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I'm not claiming to be a grammar genius. Not the emoticons.
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Legend
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Don't worry about it. No one expects you to be F. Scott, or at least they shouldn't. You likely won't reach that level until you're 19 or 20.
![[Linked Image from i28.photobucket.com]](http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/shadedog/mcenroe2.jpg) gmstrong -----------------
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I meant in terms of all the arguments you had to cut out for length..
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I honestly don't even have it anymore. I wrote it on the site's software thing, and my editor edited, and posted.
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Quote:
I honestly don't even have it anymore. I wrote it on the site's software thing, and my editor edited, and posted.
Rule #1...always use MS Word, copy and paste.
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