Some of you may know me some of you may not... my name is sean (rabid for short...and yes its my real nickname). But anyways been around the boards since back in the day... more of a lurker, but I find room to post now and then... I usually dont put my personal life on blast but...
Today my G/f of 8 years ( my angel )agreed to marry this washed up slouch!!!
The shindig will happen memorial day of next year.......
The point of the post is.. for all you married dawgs who have any advice how to cope with the her planning process and stay in 1 piece, I'd much appreciate any advice???
Stay out of her way and let her have it the way she wants it. It's not your day, it's hers, be aware of that fact. You can deal with all the other days that way the two of you see fit but that day is hers and you're only along for the ride, don't screw it up for her.
Me and my wife kept it simple.. we just went to Vegas and went to a chapel and got married.. But we aren't really in need of any elaborate ceremony, until maybe we goto the Philippines to visit her parents..
"Don't be burdened by regrets or make your failures an obsession or become embittered or possessed by ruined hopes"
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
Congrats Rabid Like Tulsa was wise enough to point out (even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while Tulsa) it's her day. It's your job to go along for the ride, support her, pay attention to her, and be her beck-n-call guy during the planning.
I guess I'll do the devil's advocate thing here ... I don't really see why its only "her day". It's the biggest day of your life too, so I don't really see why you shouldn't have input in the "process". These events have a way of spinning out of control, financially and in terms of grandiosity. If you prefer a smaller, simpler wedding then tell her that. Marriages shouldn't be based on only one person getting what they want, and that includes the event that begins it.
JMO.
Oh yeah, congratulations and good luck to you both.
Quote: I guess I'll do the devil's advocate thing here ... I don't really see why its only "her day". It's the biggest day of your life too, so I don't really see why you shouldn't have input in the "process". These events have a way of spinning out of control, financially and in terms of grandiosity. If you prefer a smaller, simpler wedding then tell her that. Marriages shouldn't be based on only one person getting what they want, and that includes the event that begins it.
JMO.
Couldn't agree more. Too often, "the big event" overshadows what a wedding should actually be about...which is exchanging vows and starting your lives together.
My niece recently got married, and afterwards, all she could talk about is how nervous she was the whole time. When you have all those details to attend to, and when you have 200 sets of eyeballs watching intently as you walk down the aisle, I can understand why. That's part of the reason why it's only going to be me, Shep, and the minister. Nothing else or nobody else matters.
But to the original poster -- congrats, and you better just do what she wants.
Quote: Stay out of her way and let her have it the way she wants it. It's not your day, it's hers, be aware of that fact. You can deal with all the other days that way the two of you see fit but that day is hers and you're only along for the ride, don't screw it up for her.
With that said, congratulations!
Ditto on the congratulations.
What Tulsa said is dead-on balls correct. Just be where she says to be when she says to be there. And have the checkbook ready. This will get things off to a great start.
My wife and I got engaged in February of 2006 and were planning on getting married in February 2007. As we started looking at the places, getting prices, we realized that it was ridiculously expensive.
So, we called Caesars Palace in Vegas. They have a wedding coordinator there. She sent us information and we took a couple weeks to pick the right package. From there on, there was absolutely NOTHING for us to do (well, my wife had to find a dress, but she found one really quickly, and her sister was her matron of honor and had a really nice bridesmaid's dress she had worn to a different wedding).
For tuxes, there was a place in Vegas that just delivered my tux and my best man's tux right to my room. All I had to do was go to a place around here and get fitted, then just send Vegas my measurements.
We got married in May, 2006. My parents and my sisters and her mom and a few of her sisters came out. We got married by the pool at Caesars at dusk (the pool was closed at that hour). We stayed in the penthouse suite at the Bellagio for our honeymoon.
In all, we had about .05% of the stress that people have for regular weddings and we figured out that we spent about half of what we'd spend just on the wedding if we had it around here (and our cost included our honeymoon, flights, meals, renting the hummer limo to take us all from Caesars to the Bellagio after, the wedding cake, the photographer, the video guy, and the wedding itself).
And, when you see our wedding pictures, it looks like we got married at some resort in Europe.
Now, I'm not telling you that having a traditional wedding is bad. Not at all. I'm just saying that there are other options that are extremely nice and very cost effective that you may want to consider as well.
Getting it done as quickly as we did almost forced us to deal with things quickly and efficiently and really took a lot of the stress out of it. Getting it done as "cheaply" as we did took that stress out of it, too (we had to pay for it all ourselves).
In the end, you're the one who knows what your fiance is like, so just go with the flow. If she's someone who has to be in control all the time, let it be. If she's someone who wants your input, give it.
But, in my experience with weddings, the fact that two people are committing to each other for life has very little implication on the wedding day. It's the ceremony and (more importantly) the reception that matter.
However, best of luck in the planning and, more importantly, best of luck in your marriage.
Congrats Rabid. And don't let these guys scare ya off. Yes, planning a wedding can be stressful, but it can also be a nice way for the two of you to bond even more. A lot of it will depend on your gal.
When the hubs and I got married, I didn't want the big, lavish wedding. We ended up with 10 people, in our living room, and rented flowers (my sister worked at a garden center at the time and they let her borrow a ton of stuff). Our mayor performed the ceremony and we went to a Sherton Suites afterwards for lunch. We did a "reception" about 2 months later and it was a pot-luck picnic. I think, in all, our biggest expense was my hubby's suit, he bought a new one and didn't scrimp on it.
Our honeymoon was a trip to Colorado (where the hubs lived for 7 years prior to meeting me), the airfare was free - miles - we stayed with a friend of his for a few nights, and when we got to our splurge night (expensive hotel), his friends surprised us by paying for our meals at the hotel. It was one of the best trips I've been on since it was so laid back.
And on June 25th, we'll be celebrating our 5th anniversary, and I still feel like a newlywed.
Go with her to all the planning events. She'll appreciate it more than you think. Even if all you do is nod your head and say "sounds good to me". Although, I told my wife that there was no way I was going to have anything to do with the flowers. She was alone on that venture. You'll like it more than most men will admit.
Couldn't agree more. Too often, "the big event" overshadows what a wedding should actually be about...which is exchanging vows and starting your lives together.
My niece recently got married, and afterwards, all she could talk about is how nervous she was the whole time. When you have all those details to attend to, and when you have 200 sets of eyeballs watching intently as you walk down the aisle, I can understand why. That's part of the reason why it's only going to be me, Shep, and the minister. Nothing else or nobody else matters.
My wife and I got married in Costa Rica. Eleven beautiful days at a small villa. With a very private beach ceremony. (just the two of us) I planned it all with the help of a photographer located in Costa Rica. All said and done $7000 door to door. It was beautiful. It was about us. There was VERY little stress. Most importantly all our guests (the two of us) had fun and got ''lucky" that night.
My biggest piece of advice is make sure you both have fun. Remember, in 10 years nobody is going to remember what the brides hair looked like, or what kind of flowers were at the tables, or any of that other crap that bridezillas stress over for months. What they'll remember is the ugly divorce.... err...um... I mean the good time they had. More importantly what a good time you both looked like you were having. In the end don't set yourselves up to look back at the end of this one very important day and think, "Man that was a lot of work. I'm glad it's over."
best advice you can get.....in the overall picture of things it's not a big deal, let her have her way. Like someone said earlier, 10 years nobodys gonna remember, if you served steak or squirrel burgers,
Also dont listen to other people on what to do or what not to have, It's your wedding do what YOU want or donrt want. Just becuase so in so did it dosent mean you have to. In the end do it for each other isnt that what marrage is about.
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But we aren't really in need of any elaborate ceremony, until maybe we goto the Philippines to visit her parents..![[Linked Image from i.imgur.com]](http://i.imgur.com/FUKyw.png)
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