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I have recently bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend, I am going to propose in November. The problem now is her grandmother has sent me her engagement ring and would like me to use it in some way. Her grandmother does not know that I already purchased a ring and I do not want to upset her, but I would like to use the ring that I bought as the "official" ring. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to use both of the rings that will make her grandmother happy?
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Legend
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Where the hell have you been?
Tough question though. If you really don't want to use grandma's ring, just be hoenst and let her know you had already bought one.
Women are good at this kinda thing, maybe a chick will have an idea,.
Last edited by lampdogg; 09/29/09 06:20 PM.
![[Linked Image from i28.photobucket.com]](http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/shadedog/mcenroe2.jpg) gmstrong -----------------
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first of all, congrats on making the move.
i don't think you can use both. one thing you can do is propose with your ring and, assuming she says yes, give her the choice as to which ring she would prefer. if she chooses your ring, she can explain to the grandma why she did so and keep it as an heirloom. if she chooses the grandma's ring, you can return yours. simplest and probably the most practical way to go bout it.
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Where the hell have you been?
I check in from time to time, just haven't posted much
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Tough question though. If you really don't want to use grandma's ring, just be hoenst and let her know you had already bought one.
I would really like to incorporate both rings if possible
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Legend
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Is it possible to use one as the engagement ring, and then incorporate the other one with the wedding band? I have no idea about the size, how it would look, etc.
When it comes down to it, it would be best to just be honest. If you really love the engagement ring you bought her, give that to her. See if it's ok with her grandmother to maybe make her ring into a necklace or earrings (if it's several diamonds) or something. That way, she can wear both sets of diamonds at the same time.
Congrats!!!
I am unfamiliar with this feeling of optimism
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Legend
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oh yeah like dong said, congratulations. Marriage is great! 
gmstrong -----------------
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Steeler
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 Congratulations!  I really do think you can use both. And you should, so as not to hurt grandmas feelings. Just give her your ring first when you propose, then follow up with grandmas ring, explaining to your finance that it would mean a lot to her grandma that you wear it as well. That would probably bring her to tears that you cared so much about her family to do something like that. She can wear your ring on her left hand, and grandmas ring on her right hand. Personally, if that were me, I would be thrilled to death to receive 2 rings!
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Legend
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see what I mean about chicks, PA.  esp that part about how the G/F would love how you took gram's feelings into consideration. Man, women are smart.
gmstrong -----------------
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All Pro
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When I got married last year, I learned of the "something old, something new, something blue tradition. It is what it sounds like. The bride wears something old, new, and blue. My wife used a ring from one of her relatives for the wedding, as the old item. She put it on her right hand. Maybe your fiancee would like to do the same. The blue thing she wore was a blue ribbon she tied to the Browns garter I bought her. 
[color:"white"]I've always been crazy, but it's kept me from going insane -Waylon Jennings
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Legend
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use grams ring, sell the one you bought, buy a 62 inch plasma screen and enjoy the ride.
jk. i would talk to her about it, maybe she has an idea, old people usually do.
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i gave my fiance her ring a year ago and we still look at engagement rings...
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Legend
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Quote:
Congratulations!
I really do think you can use both. And you should, so as not to hurt grandmas feelings.
Just give her your ring first when you propose, then follow up with grandmas ring, explaining to your finance that it would mean a lot to her grandma that you wear it as well. That would probably bring her to tears that you cared so much about her family to do something like that. She can wear your ring on her left hand, and grandmas ring on her right hand. Personally, if that were me, I would be thrilled to death to receive 2 rings!
^ This.
Heck of an idea. And it should satisfy everyone.
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Now is the perfect time for this,, if you go to your jeweler, show him the Grandmas ring.. ask for opinions as to how to incorporate it into the wedding setting. Some jewelers will actually give you several renderings so you can kinda look at them and see which you like best. For sure, no matter what,, get straight with grandma.., not only is it the right thing to do, you wanna talk about points.. dude,, you will be a hero  Especially after you tell her that you had already bought a ring and you feel it's important to honor her wishes in some fashion.. Now, I have one question for you,, Is it coincidence that you go out and buy a ring and Granny comes up to you and offers her's for you to give the girl,, I THINK NOT.. there is plan afoot young man...There is some Skulldugery here and you may well be the goat...  Proceed with Caution.....
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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Quote:
Now is the perfect time for this,, if you go to your jeweler, show him the Grandmas ring.. ask for opinions as to how to incorporate it into the wedding setting.
Some jewelers will actually give you several renderings so you can kinda look at them and see which you like best.
For sure, no matter what,, get straight with grandma.., not only is it the right thing to do, you wanna talk about points.. dude,, you will be a hero
Especially after you tell her that you had already bought a ring and you feel it's important to honor her wishes in some fashion..
Now, I have one question for you,, Is it coincidence that you go out and buy a ring and Granny comes up to you and offers her's for you to give the girl,,
I THINK NOT.. there is plan afoot young man...There is some Skulldugery here and you may well be the goat...
Proceed with Caution.....
I have talked to the grandmother on previous visits about the possibility of proposing, but she does not know about me buying one, no one knows about the ring except who has read this thread
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Thnaks for all the input so far everyone!
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Legend
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- Propose with your ring - Use grandma's diamond(s) in the wedding band A girl can never have enough diamonds. 
![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/Punchsmack/punch.gif) “...Iguodala to Curry, back to Iguodala, up for the layup! Oh! Blocked by James! LeBron James with the rejection!”
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Quote:
o one knows about the ring except who has read this thread
Better be careful. There's a good possibility that Christy is in fact the grandmother. I mean, I think she's certainly old enough.
I am unfamiliar with this feeling of optimism
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I mean, I think she's certainly old enough.
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Sean, Christy has the right of it. I was going to suggest the same thing. Propose with the ring you bought her and then tell her that you have another surprise for her. Give her Gran's ring and let her wear it on her right hand.
DO NOT EVER without permission or approval from Gran have her heirloom ring taken apart. That would go over badly for both of you. Gran's ring is probably worth a hell of a lot more than the one you purchased so you definitely want to step carefully when contemplating destroying a small piece of family history to rework it into something else.
just my 2 cents.
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Legend
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DO NOT EVER without permission or approval from Gran have her heirloom ring taken apart.
Agreed.
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Gran's ring is probably worth a hell of a lot more than the one you purchased so you definitely want to step carefully when contemplating destroying a small piece of family history to rework it into something else.
The family history I can agree with. But grandma's ring being worth a hell of a lot more than the one he bought? I doubt it. Not unless he is a cheapskate, OR if his grandpa was a very rich man.
I highly doubt grandmas ring has much more than sentimental value, unless she's a rich person.
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Quote:
Sean, Christy has the right of it. I was going to suggest the same thing. Propose with the ring you bought her and then tell her that you have another surprise for her. Give her Gran's ring and let her wear it on her right hand.
DO NOT EVER without permission or approval from Gran have her heirloom ring taken apart. That would go over badly for both of you. Gran's ring is probably worth a hell of a lot more than the one you purchased so you definitely want to step carefully when contemplating destroying a small piece of family history to rework it into something else.
just my 2 cents.
She gave me a written letter with the ring stating that I may use it as it is, or alter it if that is what I decide to do.
i do have the appraisal of both rings and the ring that I purchased was worth 45% (not going to say what I spent) more than the ring that her grandmother gave to me. I want to do something that uses both rings and Chrisyk suggestions seems like a good idea.
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Arch, back in the day and I mean way back when platinum was not as expensive as it is today, antique engagement rings are appraised at a value way higher than what is purchasable today. I knew a lady whose husband bought her a $3000 ring back in the early part of the 20th century that was appraised at about 10x the purchase price. Hell, my ma's rings were worth more 20 years after she got them than the price originally paid.
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As long as Gran is good with the idea of restructuring the ring that's cool.
I know you well enough to know that you are definitely not a cheapskate when it comes to purchasing something nice for your lady. Glad to hear that you are gonna settle down with a nice young lady. (And about time too!!)
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Quote:
Quote:
Sean, Christy has the right of it. I was going to suggest the same thing. Propose with the ring you bought her and then tell her that you have another surprise for her. Give her Gran's ring and let her wear it on her right hand.
DO NOT EVER without permission or approval from Gran have her heirloom ring taken apart. That would go over badly for both of you. Gran's ring is probably worth a hell of a lot more than the one you purchased so you definitely want to step carefully when contemplating destroying a small piece of family history to rework it into something else.
just my 2 cents.
She gave me a written letter with the ring stating that I may use it as it is, or alter it if that is what I decide to do.
i do have the appraisal of both rings and the ring that I purchased was worth 45% (not going to say what I spent) more than the ring that her grandmother gave to me. I want to do something that uses both rings and Chrisyk suggestions seems like a good idea.
I say work it down into a band. Either way, find a good local jeweler to work on it, don't go to a big chain. I got my fiance's done at a local shop and the work was unreal. Got it at a much better deal than Alvin's or whatever.
Be careful with appraisals though. They are usually inflated.
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Legend
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Arch, back in the day and I mean way back when platinum was not as expensive as it is today, antique engagement rings are appraised at a value way higher than what is purchasable today. I knew a lady whose husband bought her a $3000 ring back in the early part of the 20th century that was appraised at about 10x the purchase price. Hell, my ma's rings were worth more 20 years after she got them than the price originally paid.
Well, you'd know more than me I guess. However, the scenario you laid out fits into my "they were rich beyond belief" scenario.
So you know a lady who's $3000 ring is now worth $30,000? Platinum, too. When was the $3000 ring bought? What year?
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I do not remember when but it was somewhere in the 20's or 30's. She said he'd saved a long time to get it for her. It also depends upon the type of cut and who the diamond cutter was. I can't remember exact details but from what the woman told me the diamond cutter went on to become one of the most in demand cutters back then. The more prolific diamond cutters, the more expensive the diamond.
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Legend
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I do not remember when but it was somewhere in the 20's or 30's. She said he'd saved a long time to get it for her. It also depends upon the type of cut and who the diamond cutter was. I can't remember exact details but from what the woman told me the diamond cutter went on to become one of the most in demand cutters back then. The more prolific diamond cutters, the more expensive the diamond.
Well, he was a keeper then. And rich. Most people back then, not all, but most, got married at 17 to 20 years of age. Perhaps he worked a while to save up - then robbed the cradle?
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Use the grandmothers ring.
Return the ring you bought then put that money into a secret account. Only take money out to surprise your wife small gifts at random times throughout your marriage.
She'd appreciate that more than anything else and when the money runs out you could tell her what you did and give her a scrapbook of all the old receipts, what the gift was and why you bought it for her.
It would be something she'd cherish and it'd be a great story. And you'd be Lance Romance for the rest of your life to everyone she knows. hahaha
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Legend
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How did granny find out you were proposing before you actually did??
I can see the father knowing a day or so before when you seek his approval to ask for his daughters hand....but granny?
If everybody had like minds, we would never learn. GM Strong ![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/small-gator-chomp.gif)
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I had a ring from my mother's side of the family that my wife uses as a fill in ring when she gets her other ring cleaned or repaired. Or just when she wants something different. She really likes the option of having two to choose from.
If your heart is set on giving her the ring you picked out... give it to her. Let her have the family ring as a back up. Girls will never complain about having "too many" diamonds.
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Can you use the engagement ring that her grandmother gave you as the wedding band? Talk to her grandmother and let her know that you had already purchased a ring and ask what she thinks the best option would be considering you really want your fiance to have that ring as well......... what does the heirloom ring look like?
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I think I would want my Grandmothers ring to be intact. I like the right hand idea most...that way it's whole.
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
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See this is where I had it easy. My fiances ring only has tiny diamonds. She made it very clear several times that she did not want a giant diamond ring because she doesn't really like diamonds. Her ring turned out pretty amazing. It has a big Peridot stone in the center with a ring of small diamonds around it that really make the Peridot pop out. Peridot was chosen because green was her favorite color. Then going down each side of the ring there are two small diamonds side by side, two small aquamarine in a row, and another small diamond. The aquamarine is because my favorite color is blue and the aquamarine was a good compliment to the Peridot.
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Quote:
her grandmother has sent me her engagement ring and would like me to use it in some way.
Use it bye taking it to a pawn shop.....bye a deer gun, bye a bow....heck it's not all about her anyway....
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How did granny find out you were proposing before you actually did??
I can see the father knowing a day or so before when you seek his approval to ask for his daughters hand....but granny?
When I first started dating her grand-daughter, we would visit very often and the night before my girlfriends sister got married in July she asked me if I could see myself marrying her grand-daughter. I told her that in the near future I was thinking about proposing, but I was going to wait for awhile. Fast forward 2 months, I haven't proposed, I guess it's a nudge to ask her.
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Quote:
Can you use the engagement ring that her grandmother gave you as the wedding band? Talk to her grandmother and let her know that you had already purchased a ring and ask what she thinks the best option would be considering you really want your fiance to have that ring as well......... what does the heirloom ring look like?
From what I got out of the letter,if I am going to alter the ring, for it to still be the engagement ring....I really would rather not change the ring. I would like to use it in a way where no altering is needed
it's a small round center stone with 2 smaller stones on each side
Last edited by PA_Browns_Fan; 09/30/09 05:05 PM.
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I wouldn't alter the ring personally... something like that is a very special family heirloom and changing it up would devalue the sentimental aspect IMO. I like the two ring idea the most of all... if there's anything women like more than a diamond ring, it's two of them.
We're... we're good?
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Legend
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Legend
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Quote:
I wouldn't alter the ring personally... something like that is a very special family heirloom and changing it up would devalue the sentimental aspect IMO. I like the two ring idea the most of all... if there's anything women like more than a diamond ring, it's two of them.
I agree, you have to wait for people to die to do that if that is what you eventually want to do.
If everybody had like minds, we would never learn. GM Strong
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