I remember that

If there's one kids show I wish they'd bring back or put old episodes of on, it's gotta be Salute Your Shorts. That might have been my favorite. That and Pete and Pete.
Memorable Quotes from
"Salute Your Shorts" (1991)
Sponge Harris: You should have never come to this camp.
Michael Stein: Why?
Sponge Harris: Because the food bites, bug bite, activities bites, everything bites!
Donkeylips: Someday I will go out with her.
Bobby: Stop dreaming and glue your macaroni.
Donkeylips: I can't.
Bobby: Why not?
Donkeylips: I ate it all.
Bobby: How? It was uncooked, rock hard, and covered with yellow spray paint.
Donkeylips: I thought that was cheese.
Z.Z.: (trapped in a cave) Echo. Save the whales.
Telly: Will you shut up!
Z.Z.: What? You don't want to save the whales?
Michael Stein: [Michael's first day of camp and his boxers have been stolen and are hanging on the flag pole] Great. What do I do now?
Sponge Harris: Well, I suggest you stand tall, click your heels, and salute your shorts.
Donkeylips: [while locked in a bathroom] Hey, there's a machine on the wall that sells balloons!
Sponge Harris: Um, Ug, Donkey Lips just gave that police officer half a peace sign.
Ug: Which half?
[sirens sound]
Bobby: You are roasted.
Donkeylips: Toasted.
Bobby, Donkeylips: And burned to a crisp!
Donkeylips: Hey, sponge.
Sponge Harris: Yeah?
Donkeylips: Maybe if I did lose weight I wouldn't get picked on as much. I'm a little husky, you know?
Sponge Harris: Yeah I know. But getting picked on isn't so bad. Someday I'll get rich inventing this cool space laser and I'll have this giant company and people like Budnick will be emptying my waste baskets.
Donkeylips: Yeah! With gum on the bottom.
Sponge Harris: And big dripping wads of Kleenex!
Donkeylips: Yeah, and he has to pluck it out with his teeth! That'd be cool!
Sponge Harris: Revenge!
Dina Alexander: What are you goobers doing?
Sponge Harris: We're playing pick the pocks.
Donkeylips: You got to guess the exact number of chicken pox of Michael's face when he returns from the hospital.
Dina Alexander: What a completely moronic and childish thing to do.
Bobby: The winner gets a gallon of chocolate ice cream.
Dina Alexander: 35 pocks!
Ug: I'm sorry to have to tell you all like this but Michael Stine won't be coming back to camp this summer.
Telly: Why not?
Ug: Soon he'll be going to a better place.
Z.Z.: You mean he's died?
Ug: No. He's going to Europe.
Z.Z.: I made a locket out of a milk carton and put Michael's picture in it that way he'll always be by near heart.
Dina Alexander: It's only been four hours since he's been gone. Camp isn't the same.
Sponge Harris: Actually four hours and seven minutes.
Donkeylips: I don't miss him that much. It's like the change of season; life goes on.
Ug: This is it; the baseball field! What do you think?
Pinsky: It's not exactly what they showed me in the brochure.
Pinsky: You know guys most camps have rules against bringing in outside food, but you know what? I don't like rules. Thus ladies and gentlemen I come bearing gifts. Behold famous Pinsky salami; the most delicious meat or meat byproduct known to man.
Bobby: Hello and welcome to bunk 13. 200 miles from the nearest flush toilet.
Donkeylips: I can hawk a loogie eight feet in the air and catch it with my tongue.
Michael Stein: Wow. Your mother must be really proud.
Michael Stein: What's that smell?
Sponge Harris: Oh! That was a dead raccoon. They just dragged him out this morning.
Michael Stein: Is this where it died?
Sponge Harris: No. That's just where it suffered.
Bobby: Look this way... Look that way... Man, your head's lopsided.
Donkeylips: Can you fix it?
Michael Stein: Sponge! This is Ug's privet stereo, are you sure everything is hooked up all right?
Sponge Harris: My IQ is in the top 99th percentile.
Michael Stein: Look, sponge if anything happens to Ug's equipment, I'm dead.
Sponge Harris: Just... just turn it on.
Michael Stein: You said everything was going to be all right! What happened?
Sponge Harris: I was wrong. It's little things like this that keep me out of the 100th percentile.
Pinsky: Guys I can't believe it! My favorite movie is playing tonight, "Attack of the Cheese Monster". This guy's made of cheddar, jack, Swiss. This guys is a monster made of Muenster.
Ug: I did it! I did it!
Dina Alexander: What?
Ug: I finally out-negotiated Dr. Kahn.
Telly: What happened?
Ug: He was going to give me one night off every month, but I talked him into giving me one night off every four weeks.
Dina Alexander: Way to play hardball, Ug.
Bobby: Wow! That girl is amazing! That girl is breathtaking!
Pinsky: That girl is Dina!
Bobby: [Budnick and Dina are looking at their three-legged race trophy they just won] "Budnick and Dina." It has a nice ring to it.
Dina Alexander: Why isn't my name first?
Bobby: Do you want it first? I can make it first.
Dina Alexander: Whatever.
Bobby: You say that really nice.
Dina Alexander: You're weird.
Bobby: You say that nice too.
Bobby: [Budnick and Ronnie are talking about Budnick liking Dina] You want to know why?
Pinsky: Because she looks great in a bikini?
Bobby: No. Every cool guy needs a cool lady to hang with, and at this camp Dina is it.
[we see a fantasy version of Dina in the background as Budnick describes her]
Bobby: I mean she's perfect! She's gorgeous, she's smart...
Dina Alexander: E = MC... Hammer!
Bobby: And I bet she would win in a beauty competition. She really likes music too, just like me. She's a really good singer, and a good dancer, just like I am.
[Dina begins to hum]
Bobby: But it's what's on the inside that really counts. I mean Dina has a really big heart! And she really loves animals too. I think the thing I like about her most is that her dad has a couple of billion dollars. So I wouldn't mind calling him Dad either.
Pinsky: You just described a combination of Mother Teresa, Madonna, and Flipper. I'm not sure there was much Dina in there.
Bobby: I just got to find a way to ask her to the social so that she can't blow me off.
Pinsky: Well, if you are committed to that idea just do what you do best.
Bobby: Twist her arm?
Pinsky: Write her a song.
Bobby: A song... with a twist. Pinsky, you are a genius, second of course only to myself.
Pinsky: Hey!
[Sponge and Donkey Lips sit and watch Ronny and Telly fight over a piece of paper in the lake]
Donkeylips: Looks like Budnick has a crush on Dina.
Sponge Harris: And ZZ has a crush on Budnick.
Donkeylips: And I think Telly is actually crushing Pinsky.
Sponge Harris: But no-one has a crush on us.
Donkeylips: Do you think it is going to be that way our whole lives?
Sponge Harris: Nah, in a few years woman will love us for our minds and it won't matter if we're cool.
Donkeylips: I can't wait! Hey lets go rub some sticks together and see if we can start a fire.
[the kids just finish watching the tape of Budnick and Dina's first date]
Sponge Harris: The end.
Telly: The end of Budnick.
Pinsky: Budnick singing Captain & Tennille songs... Guys, to quote one of my favorite falsifiers, Baloo the Bear... "He's gone, man. Solid gone."
[campers are having a food fight when Budnick enters the room]
Bobby: Stop! Now!
[the campers stop]
Bobby: Are you all right, honey?
Dina Alexander: I'm fine; I was just having a little fun.
[Budnick yells at the rest of the campers as Ug enters the room with an ice pack on his head]
Bobby: Were you guys all born in barns? Don't you realize that food fighting is bad? Very, very bad! This camp has rules if we do not abide by those rules we could have complete anarchy!
[Budnick turns to Dina]
Bobby: I looked that up in the dictionary.
Ug: Bobby Budnick stopped a food fight? Oh, I must be still hallucinating. I need way more ice!
[Ug enters the cafeteria with a bandage on his head and talks to ZZ and Dina]
Ug: Question: What's wrong with Budnick? I mean, every time I saw his today he was nice. He even volunteered to pick up trash, it's scary.
Z.Z.: Sure is.
Dina Alexander: How's your head, Ug?
Ug: Fine, but do you guys hear this really high-pitched...
[Ug makes a beeping sound]
Z.Z., Dina Alexander: No.
Ug: Or this low pitched sound sort of womp... womp...
Z.Z., Dina Alexander: No.
Ug: So I guess that brontosaurus tap dancing in the corner isn't real, hun?
Z.Z., Dina Alexander: No.
Ug: I think I better go put some more ice on my head.
Z.Z.: You go do that, Ug, now...
[the kids are discussing how Budnick has changed since dating Dina]
Pinsky: Guys, we have a serious problem on our hands. The flow of candy into camp has dried up.
Donkeylips: Yeah, with Budnick stopping food fights it's like having another Ug!
Sponge Harris: I never thought I'd miss the old Budnick. I mean who wants to get beat up by a stranger?
Dina Alexander: I tried to break up with him, but he wouldn't let me.
Pinsky: Well, try plan B. Make him want to break up with you.
Z.Z.: How's she supposed to do that? Budnick worships the ground she walks on.
Pinsky: Look, I know you're normally a sweet wonderful human being without a ounce of meanness in you...
Telly: You haven't been in camp very long, have you?
Pinsky: But you got to do something so mean that Budnick won't be able to stand you. Call it "shock therapy for the love sick."
Dina Alexander: But I don't want to hurt him.
Pinsky: Dina! Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind.
Sponge Harris: Be mean!
Z.Z.: Be cunning!
Donkeylips: Be ruthless!
Telly: Be yourself.
Dina Alexander: I can do that!
[ZZ, Pinsky, and Donkey Lips are fishing]
Pinsky: Think about it. When you die they stick you in the ground and it's the worms that eat you up!
Z.Z.: Then somebody digs up the worms that ate you and use to catch fish which somebody else eats.
Donkeylips: So wait a second guys, when we had fish sticks the other night, I could have eaten a fish, that ate a worm, that ate Elvis?
Z.Z.: You could be burping up the king as we speak!
[Pinsky holds up a worm]
Pinsky: "Hey, look at me! I ate Moe from the Three Stooges!"
[ZZ also holds up a worm]
Z.Z.: "I ate Henry David Thoreau, who lived at Walden Pond."
Donkeylips: Come on, guys, just cut it out! That's weird!
[Pinsky continues to tease Donkey Lips, this time as Curly from the Three Stooges]
Pinsky: "Hey, look at me, I ate Curly! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!"
Z.Z.: Betsy Ross!
Donkeylips: That does it! I'm off of seafood. I'm sticking with hot dogs!
Z.Z.: You know what they put in hot dogs?
Donkeylips: I don't want to hear it!
Bobby: [everyone is singing the opening theme song] It makes me wanna fart.
Ug: [shouts] It's "I hope that we never part". Now get it right or pay the price.
Salute your shorts