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Bengal
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Bengal
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Love them to death, but there is somebody in my house every single day! Sometimes two or three a day. Not just the hubby's parents, but the whole family. They never visited us when we lived in a less safe neighborhood. Now that we're buying his late grandparents' house they are ALWAYS over.
Is it because of the house itself, and the old memories? Is it because they feel safe to come visit us now that we're out of the ghetto? Whatever the reasons, we just need some time alone once in a while. It's gotten to the point we have to hide our cars just so they think we're not home. We've even asked them to call first, which usually happens about 80% of the time now.
I'm not sure how to let them know without hurting any feelings. I've always wanted to be "the hang out house".... but now that I have it, I just want to go back like it used to be.
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Legend
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Legend
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Start hanging out at their house since they will be on their way over to yours.
There is only one way to do this you know...
If everybody had like minds, we would never learn. GM Strong ![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/small-gator-chomp.gif)
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Bengal
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Bengal
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![[Linked Image from media.lehighvalleylive.com]](http://media.lehighvalleylive.com/tv_impact/photo/birds-of-war-3b1e411c023703c8_custom_120xauto.jpg) Birds of War
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Legend
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Legend
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Coat yourself with coyote urine. The fear they will experience when they smell the coyote will keep them away.
Browns is the Browns
... there goes Joe Thomas, the best there ever was in this game.
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Bengal
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Bengal
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That may work for the problem at hand, but I'm afraid it would cause some other issues in the process. I was waiting to see if Peen's answer had anything to do with nudity.... but I think you probably topped him already. 
Birds of War
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Dawg Talker
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Get an accordion and play it everytime they come over.
"The medium for the bad news was ESPN, which figured. The network represents much of what is loud, obnoxious and empty in sports today."
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Legend
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Legend
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Every time they begin to say something, start a Gregorian chant.
Browns is the Browns
... there goes Joe Thomas, the best there ever was in this game.
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1st String
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1st String
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I think that What ballpeen was implying is that you just have to suck it up and sit down and have a conversation with them and lay down some ground rules.
That might not be his advise, but that would be mine.
It is pain to go through, but so is keeping everything the status quo, and if you result to some outlandish scheme, your in laws will probably lose more respect for you, than if you came right out and told them.
The other thing I would say is that it would be better if your significant other took the lead on this conversation. That way they know that this from both of you.
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Legend
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^^ I wouldn't listen to him  Do the Gregorian chants.
Browns is the Browns
... there goes Joe Thomas, the best there ever was in this game.
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Legend
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Answer the door naked, with a huge knife in your hand while playing good horror movie music in the background ....... Simply say ... "I've been waiting for you. You're just in time ....... for dinner".
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
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Hall of Famer
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You'll have to have a talk with them. Tell them that although you LOVE having them over, and you LOVE being the hang out house, you and your husband are still newlyweds and you would like to spend time together as newlyweds. So if they could PLEASE call you before they come over, you would greatly appreciate it.
Or, you could set up specific days of the week where they can come over and tell them you'll be happy to welcome them on, say, Tuesdays, Thursday, Fridays and Saturdays but that the other days they shouldn't be surprised if you don't open the door for them. (something like that)
![[Linked Image from i75.photobucket.com]](http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i302/lrhinkle/d5eaf0b9-e429-4211-b53f-b843bfcf6aa9_zps2ac17420.jpg) #gmstrong
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Hall of Famer
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Never clean your kitchen counters and offer them food when they show up. It works for my mom.
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Legend
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Quote:
What's that one way?
Tell them...what did you think??
I guess you could try the other stuff, but in the end, my way is the only way to get it done.
If everybody had like minds, we would never learn. GM Strong
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Legend
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OnB, if you were a male, you'd have this figured out by now.
You wouldn't care about anyone else's feelings. You'd simply tell them, flat out.
That's what I'd do. I'd try to tell them nicely, and if they still didn't get the picture, then I would tell them plainly without sugarcoating.
My mom and her friend were musing the other day about that. They said their sons tell them things like it is and the girls dance around the issues. They said that like what the sons were doing was a bad thing.
I'm not saying be mean. But be straightforward and honest. You just can't go wrong there. It might hurt their feelings, but, in the end, you're concentrating (rightfully) on your own feelings.
And, if that doesn't work, I recommend Gregorian chants.
I am unfamiliar with this feeling of optimism
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Legend
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Move and don't leave a forwarding address  Or maybe not 
#GMSTRONG
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.”
Daniel Patrick Moynahan
"Alternative facts hurt us all. Think before you blindly believe."
Damanshot
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Was the house the place the family gathered when it was his grandparents house? If so, then it may be habit. I know my family always gathered at my grandparents home. It was very difficult to turn that off for those who were in the area. It may just take some time for them to phase it out.
You can try mentioning in casual conversation that you two haven't had any days alone since moving in. Depends on the level of subtlety they can pick up on. Sometimes that won't work and you just have to say no...
KeysDawg
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. - Carl Sagan
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Legend
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Quote:
Every time they begin to say something, start a Gregorian chant.
That might relax them so much that they pass out, and NEVER leave...
well, after that last piece of drivel from me, I've finished reading the thread.
Keys might be onto something....
"too many notes, not enough music-"
#GMStong
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Tell them you have explosive diarrhea and that you cannot contain your bowel movements for the time being. If they come to your house anyway, take laxatives.
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Hall of Famer
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Tell them you're a Bengal fan.
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Legend
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Legend
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Quote:
Tell them you're a Bengal fan.
Well, that's just going way too far.
I mean, you just cannot overstep the bounds of good taste that badly.
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
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Legend
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Judging by the annoyingness of the in-laws, they are most certainly Bengals fans too.
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Legend
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Just tell them that you love seeing them, but that 2 or 3 days a week are "couple time" - time for you and your husband to have time alone together. I would choose one weekend day and one or two weekdays, but its your call based on your respective work schedules. They need to respect your wishes, but they will still be able to feel free to drop in 4-5 days a week, which should be plenty.
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Legend
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Just a little friendly advice OnB. Have your husband tell them to come over less (and call first when they do) and leave you out of it. It will probably be better.
#gmstrong
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Quote:
Judging by the annoyingness of the in-laws, they are most certainly Bengals fans too.
Of course they are,when ONB and hubby were living in the "hood" and things were bad they were nowhere to be found.
Now they have moved into a nicer house,and things are going well,they show up again.
Yep,Bengal fans for sure 
KING
You may be in the drivers seat but God is holding the map. #GMSTRONG
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Hall of Famer
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Quote:
Just a little friendly advice OnB. Have your husband tell them to come over less (and call first when they do) and leave you out of it. It will probably be better.
QFT!
#gmstrong
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A talk might be your best option but I have to tell you how I solved this problem 25 years ago.
When I bought my first home my parents just came by unannounced all the time. One night I had 5-6 friends over for a party(including my 18 yr old little brother). We were drinking and a couple had just smoked it up( lil' bro included) when the doorbell rang... in walks Mom and Dad!
They quickly excused themselves and to this day call before coming.
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This sound's like the show everybody love's Raymond
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First, I would change the locks if they all have keys. Second, even if I were home and they saw the cars, I wouldn't answer the door. When they ask why you didn't answer the door, tell them you were having mad sex and couldn't bother. Or tell them you went out for a walk and weren't there. Be sure to throw in that if they would have called first you could have planned a visit.
Easier than playing games, though, would be telling them to stop dropping in unannounced. Since these are hubby's peeps, I would have him tell them to just call first out of consideration for both of you.
#gmstrong #gmlapdance
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every day is excessive. they seem to feel like it's their house too.
Suggestions:
1. it's your husbands family. he needs to grow a pair and lay down the law.
2. . if they continue, sell the house and move
Years ago a friend got a great deal on a fairly new and bigger house with more land. He paid the same price for this one as the old clunker he moved out of.
The people that my buddy bought the house from bought his old house and basically sold at a substantial loss.Sort of a trade down.
Why? The in-laws sold them the property and were always coming over and being intrusive, To save the marriage they moved 25 miles away from the in-laws. No more drop-ins.
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Legend
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Your husbands name isn't "Raymond" is it? How long has this been going on? If it's only been a little while since you moved and they are all excited, there is a chance it will taper off on its own... if it doesn't look like that's going to happen then your husband needs to have a polite conversation with them.. if polite doesn't work then he needs to get more stern... but it shouldn't come from you..
yebat' Putin
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Legend
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Quote:
I think that What ballpeen was implying is that you just have to suck it up and sit down and have a conversation with them and lay down some ground rules.
That might not be his advise, but that would be mine.
It is pain to go through, but so is keeping everything the status quo, and if you result to some outlandish scheme, your in laws will probably lose more respect for you, than if you came right out and told them.
The other thing I would say is that it would be better if your significant other took the lead on this conversation. That way they know that this from both of you.
Perfectly said.
You have to just tell it like it is, as diplomatic but firmly as possible.
![[Linked Image from i28.photobucket.com]](http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c201/shadedog/mcenroe2.jpg) gmstrong -----------------
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IMO DM had the solution. Change the locks. If they ask about it, explain that too many people were dropping in without calling first.
You dont attack them directly, they get the hintage and everything works out.
SaintDawg™
Football, baseball, basketball, wine, women, walleye
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I had a situation like this ..... and every time the person would show up unannounced, I would be on my way out the door.
"I'm glad to see you, but I was just on my way out the door ...... about to get in the shower ....... etc."
Something like this along with a suggestion that they call first should be effective.
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
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Dawg Talker
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I say you tell them straight up.....call before you come to pay us a visit, or you could sugar coat it a little, like, We love you and your company but please give a call when you plan to come over so we can better prepare for your visit. jmo
LET'S GO BROWNS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.dawgtalkers.net/uploads/OldSixty-Two/new0400001.jpg) [b]WOOF WOOF[b]
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Or maybe something like "If you come over unannounced one more time, I swear to God I will burn the house down and become Wiccan."
I am unfamiliar with this feeling of optimism
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Dawg Talker
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Or you could just answer the door in your birthday suit and a very large can of creamed corn and say "you're just in time for some real fun!!!" 
LET'S GO BROWNS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [b]WOOF WOOF[b]
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Make sure you practice what you preach, call them before you go over there and when they ask about why you are calling, just state that you always felt that it was good manners to call before going over to someones house as a matter of good manners.
Welcome back, Joe, we missed you!
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Hall of Famer
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Quote:
Or you could just answer the door in your birthday suit and a very large can of creamed corn and say "you're just in time for some real fun!!!"
Sounds like a party I want to be invited to
KING
You may be in the drivers seat but God is holding the map. #GMSTRONG
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Legend
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Legend
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Quote:
Quote:
Or you could just answer the door in your birthday suit and a very large can of creamed corn and say "you're just in time for some real fun!!!"
Sounds like a party I want to be invited to
KING
Maybe Old Sixty Two will invite you next time .......  lol
Micah 6:8; He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
John 14:19 Jesus said: Because I live, you also will live.
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Well some of the parties this old hedonist used to throw could make Caligula blush like a school girl.
LET'S GO BROWNS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [b]WOOF WOOF[b]
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Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Need tips to keep the inlaws away
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