DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Girl Problem Updated

Hello fellow dawgs and dawgetts. It's me kazbone again. I had a post on here about two months ago regarding a lady friend i was head over heels for..The girl problem post that some of you probably remember and also helped me out so much with. Kept me sane too, now that i think about it. lol.

Anways wanted to give you fellow dawgs an update on the current situation, If anyone cared. And i do thank you all dearly for your advice and support.. Well i took your guys and gals majority advice on just letting it be and backing off because she was currently seeing another man at the time and it deeply broke my heart. But it also has paid off in the end.

We had a talk not to long after i got your advice and no not txting i told her i needed to say it to her not type it. Anyhow, i told her that it would be best that we quit talking because i really liked her but didnt want to intervene with her current boyfriend. She agreed and said it was best.She would see me around probably in the future, she doesnt want to break my heart yada, yada yada..

Anyways about a month or so after the conversation i see her out with her friends and her boyfriend, which is a nice guy i might add i went to school with him so i know him. I give her alittle eye contact, show her im still in play if you would and go about my regular business talking with my friends. Playing it off like she doesnt exist.. She sees im having fun and starts making out with him like you wouldnt believe. I pay no attention showing her it doesnt bother me, tell my buddy the Browns are going to the playoffs next year yada, yada, yada..

A week later im at my favorite watering hole slamming a couple brews, having a good time. And what do you no she walks in again with her friend but this time no boyfriend. Probably working he drives truck. So i do the same thing, give her alittle look and pay no attention to her. I then get a text on my phone and see its from her. We havent talked in a month up till now. The text says and i quote "Ooh u can buy me a cribbs jersey, but you cant even say hi. Whats up with that." I debate if i should respond, which i end up doing after sometime. and i text her back and say well i see your busy with your friends and dint want to bother you. So hi.

She then sits by me after awhile and what do you no. She slips me a kiss right at the bar. Which i pull away and say. I no u didnt mean that. She says sorry. I say no big deal. Well about two weeks after that. Which we were texting each other that whole time. She then text me and says she broke up with her boyfriend. she just didnt see it working out and she says that i have been on her mind more then i think and she really likes me and would like to get to no me better. She also told me she didnt want me to be the rebound guy because she thinks im a very nice guy and she didnt want to hurt me. i tell her i would like to get to know her better too.

So for the last two weeks now we've been talking and hanging out with eachother alot and getting to know each other better. She said she dont want to rush into another relationship right now and i totally agreed and told her she has to clear her mind and take time for herself. I even said that its prolly best that she stay single and we take it slow and see how where it goes from there..

So dawgs, it looks like i might just get my dream gal. But i just have to take it slow and go from there. I tried to rush it last time and i think i made her nervous and pushed her away. If its meant to be then it will be. We get along so good and im lovin it.. Hopefully everything will workout between us. Again thanks fellow dawgs for your advice i cant thank you enough and tell you how much it helped me. They say patience is a virtue, so true.

Good for you.. Hope it all works out man..

Keep your guard up. You don't want to be the old "standby" until something better comes along. I'd be keeping my options open until there's a commitment. Good luck!

Hah, add me to the list of people thinking that also. Just the feeling I got after reading it.

Im not a user peen. But i definetly understand yall's point. Im kinda thinking she might be a player also.. Dont really no what to think of her at times. I mean sometimes shes all cool with me and then sometimes it seems she doesnt even care. She's hard to read.

I might re think this whole thing with her.. Im kinda blank right now. Im having mixed emotions.. My heart says go with it one day and the next day its says the opposite.. I guess this is just a part of life and the stuff that is thrown at you at times. I just have to make the right descions. Thanks again guys and gals im really gonna think this over and see whats best for me. Im gonna keep my options open for sure..

From your story - and keep in mind this is just my opinion - I'd say goodbye to the girl. She only seems interested in you when you don't seem interested in her and sooner or later that appeal wears off..and in most cases it's sooner rather than later. If she makes you happy, great, go for it, best of luck to you. But my advice is if you do decide to pursue this is to do so with extreme caution because your dream girl might not live up to those expectations and after all this back and forth that could be a tough pill to swallow, especially if you get attached.

Damn arch very sorry to hear that. Thats messed up.. I really dont want to go through that. Im starting to think i might, if i try to take this any further. I mean the stuff she texted me when she was dating the other guy was not what i would want her to text anyone if she was with me.

She knows i have a big heart and fall to easy already. So maybe im just her boy toy until something else better pops up. Im really starting to think that. I mean i do think she is amazing and worship the ground she walks, but i dont want a cheater. I dont want to go through that. Maybe it was too good to be true and i should walk..Just confused.

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I mean the stuff she texted me when she was dating the other guy was not what i would want her to text anyone if she was with me.

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I think this is the key here. The way a person acts in a relationship tells a lot about them. It might suck, but you'll bounce back and find the right girl.

No need to walk away, play it yourself and have fun. Just be prepared for it to end at any time. Don't get too heavily invested. You already know you can't trust her.

You don't need to plan the rest of your life to have a fun weekend or two.

Don't feel sorry for me. I was there, did that, and got out of it - 21 years ago.

For the most part, players are players.

Reminds me of a joke.

A married guy went out with his friends. He got hammered drunk, came home hours after he said he'd be home....passed out on the floor once he got home.

When he woke up, there was a note from his wife. It said "honey, I cleaned up your mess from last night. I'm taking the kids shopping - we're going to get you an early anniversary present - that special thing you've been wanting for years. When we get home, I'm going to give you a massage, and then I'll make your favorite meal for supper. After supper I have lined up a babysitter so you and I can watch your favorite movie."

When the kids got home the dad said "what the heck is going on?"

The kids said "well, mom was pretty pissed off at how late you got home last night, and she was even more upset at how drunk you were. But when you puked and passed out, she'd had it. She tried to pick you up to get you in bed and you yelled "get your hands off of me, I'm married".

She forgave everything you did right then.

Players are players. Partners are partners. You can tell a lot about a person by just watching them.

My advice: Have some fun with her but don't let yourself get too emotionally attached unless it becomes clear that the feelings are mutual.

And stop trying to go out of your way to be the 'nice guy'. Honorable as it may be, it's not helping you any.

I understand completely nelson. But im the type of person that gets attached to damn easy. I mean i like having fun with her dont get me wrong, but i have a soft spot in my heart for her also. I was never really good at the friends with benefits thingy.. I think if i dont move on , i will be in for a big heartbreak.. Because i know she doesnt want a relationship right now and im starting to get attached.

Just invite her to read your threads here and guage her reaction... That will tell you A LOT! lol.

i along with most of the other posters think its in your best interests to move on. i personally would just go with it, get a little nookie till one of ya move on. BUT from the way you have described your feelings, she will break your heart.

there is nothing wrong with being a sensitive guy, wanting to find THE ONE, get married and have some morals. those are good qualities to have. but not for that girl. she sounds like the kind that chews up and spits out the good guys. they know you will always be there for them.

let her go, she will probably date the bad boys and have fun, then, end up w a guy that treats her like crap.

dont let her be Jenny and you be Forrest, you saw how that ended.

but thats just the opinion from the kind of guy she might date between nice guys. good luck

It's pretty apparent, in fact, glaringly apparent, that he's not that type of guy. So, why give advice like that? He's not looking to have some fun with the girl and move on, he thinks he found his "dream girl". That's a recipe for disaster if she is indeed a "player".

Kazn

Dude, follow what your heart is telling you. It is easy for people to say to dump. Her because they don't have feelings for her. You do, and if you just let that go who knows what you are missing out on. I am not saying to dive in head over heels but date the girl and see where it goes. You might find out she is not right for you, but how can you know that if you don't try?

King

no : a negative
know : to have knowledge of something

didn't : contraction of "did not"
dint : not a word in the English language


Aside from that I have no advice for you.

First of all Arch,, I've been where you were 21 years ago.. of course mine happened in the late 70's. Came home from work early to find my wife in bed with her college professor from Kent State... I kicked his ass out of the house. He sure as hell looked funny standing in my front yard, naked as the day he was born.....

As for the joke,,, good one..

Kaz,., follow your heart, but if possible, protect it. some of the "player" comments could very well be true in this situation.. again, good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for.

Probably too late to join the discussion but I'll chime in....

It's not fair for me to call the girl "loose" or a "player" without knowing her. But, if she's young and seems to bounce around a bit...I'd classify it as her being "young and free". And you know what, that's perfectly fine (as long as you're safe with STD's). Young people are SUPPOSED to not get tied down too young. Meet lots of people, date a lot, nothing serious, and take your time.

Kaz, you maybe sound like you're looking for something more than just "having fun" right now. Like you see a longterm future with her.

You two might be the perfect fit, unless she's not ready to think like that. And if so, move on. If you're both looking for something else right now, it will only come back to burn one of you.

I know it's a cliche but there are indeed other fish in the sea.

It's too bad I could give this same advice to myself 20 years ago. I spent too much energy looking, searching, or trying to hold on to a specific young woman even though I wasn't ready to for anything longterm. If you're young, have fun, you'll find that someone when the time comes (and they'll be ready for you too).

the more i hear about this girl, the more she sounds like trouble.

but hey, if you like her, go after her.

Doesn't she have a kid too?

What about her cries out "dream girl"? She has baggage, she sends provacative text to others while dating someone else, she strings you out until someone better comes along ...

She has kids in high school? Sorry, I thought you two were younger. I'm not sure what to say at this point.

I'm stunned. The way he described the interactions, we could only assume it was a late teens/early 20s type of thing. Let's see..... she's got teenagers, resorts to openly making out in a bar to get a reaction out of him, goes out of her way to keep him interested while in a relationship with another man.....yeah, that's everything I would look for in a woman. I think both have some growing up to do.

What you just wrote made me think of Doctor Phil.

The rest of the thread reminds me of a 20-something soap opera.

I think you guys are making a lot of assumptions without knowing this chick.

Making out at a bar with her boyfriend does not make her a player. You assume she did it to make Kaz jealous. For all anyone knows, her (ex)boyfriend could have asked her why Kaz was giving her the eye and she was honest and said he liked her and then the (ex)boyfriend shoved his tongue down her throat to mark his territory. Men do that, you know.

It could be anything.

Stop making assumptions. Jeez.

Kaz if you like her be good to her. Don't be manipulative and let the chips fall where they may. Stop thinking so hard and just enjoy it for whatever it is for however long it is.

I don't trust the chick.

Seems to me you let her know that you could live without her, and now she's trying to prove you wrong...

Find another woman.

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You assume she did it to make Kaz jealous.

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Heck, even Kaz assumed she did it to make Kaz jealous.