DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Top 15 Cop Comments

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate
a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift superviso r?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."

Quote:

---

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."

---

LMAO ... No kidding! That last one is COLD!

Quote:

---

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

---

Sad thing is, I know people who couldn't answer that sober!!!!

All of them are pretty good ones

That last one is COLD

Quote:

---

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate
a worthless document."

---

My personal favorite.

Interestingly enough.

I know a NYState Trooper, and he says the main catch in the Say the alphabet backwards. Is more of a trap than anything.

Their big hope is you'll say something like. Shoot, I couldnt do that sober.


and thats how they get ya

All outstanding things to say. It almost brings tears to my eyes as I laugh.

My favorite of all time

" sonnn put that sheep down"



KING

Greatest cop of all time:

There's no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!

buddy of mine was asked to do that.....he did....and then he said

"now i know my abc's next time won't you sing with me....

they took him in......lol