DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Youth Sports Situation

I just wanted to put this out there, and see what people thought, and what their reactions would have been. Thought it might be nice to have a discussion that doesnt turn into another Obama vs Romney debate.

My daughter,who is almost 12, had a soccer game against the other Kent City team in the U12 division. So fairly early in the game my daughter gets a shot on goal that the goalie stopped , but my daughter followed the shot in and the goalie dropped the ball right in front of my daughter and she poked it in for the goal. Cool, now fast forward. Almost identical situation but the goal jumps on the ball, my daughter pulls up and doesnt kick at the ball or anything. Which is the right play, you dont kick at the ball when the goalie is on ground with ball. Its at least a yellow card, and can be a red if you were to hurt the goalie. Well the guy sitting to rows behind me on the bleachers, who was apparently the adopted father or grandfather of the goalie( I only assume adopted because this guy was a fat old redneck and the goalie was black) said , and I quote exactly "she better not kick at that ball while she(the goalie) is down like that, I will go out there and drag her off the field by her hair" I assume he said it for my hearing pleasure, he knew I was the father of the shooter because i was yelling to her when she scored. So I turned around and said " really dude, your threatening violence against an 11 year old girl?" he basically said hell yeah I am and I gave him an earful. Just basically told him if he feels the need to threaten and attack somebody, right where I would be at, In so many words anyways.

So I have been thinking about this a lot, I feel kind of bad about the whole situation, but thats my baby girl, my only daughter. How could I sit there and let a grown man make threats of violence against her? Do you all think i was out of line? The coach from the other team came up to me and apologized for it happening and told me " trust us, we as coaches and parents are fed up with his crap too" I am new to Kent sports, but I guess this guy has been an ongoing problem.

I mean , even if she did kick at the ball, its not like she would have been doing to try to hurt anybody, she would have done it because she didnt know any better, never been in that situation. i am sure the refs,the coach, and me would have explained to her that you dont do that. Besides that I talked to her after game and made sure she understood that you dont kick at the ball with the goalie down and why not. She said she knew that already and thats why she didnt kick at it.

I am just glad she was too young to see me play hockey and some of the things i did to goalies while the were covering the puck

Thanks for letting me vent.

KING

The fact that she pulled up instead of kicking the ball, tells me she has sportsmanship. The guy if he had any brain cells wouldn't act all tough making threats if he understood that concept.

I think you did the right thing, now tone and posture can be vrey important in these situations. There are several way sto say the exact same thing, some will calm people down and make them realize THEY were out of line (assuming they aren't trashed at a kid's game), and others will put them on the defensive and things could escalate, which is something you really want to avoid at your daughter's game. Nothing is more embarassing to your daughter than her parent in a fight and getting handcuffed.

I didn't know Randy Marsh moved to Kent...

I think you did the right thing...people like that need to be told just how out of line they really are...unfortunately...he isn't giving it a second thought while you are wondering if you did the right thing.

Just wait...it'll get worse and more frequent as she gets older.

It's even more embarrassing when a parent on your own team says stupid stuff like that.

Sounds to me like you did the right thing by responding but not escalating it.... Parents like that annoy the crap out of me. I'm as competitive as anybody but you just don't do what he did.

In my own sarcastic nature, when I read what he said about dragging her out by her hair, my first thought at a retort was, "If you threaten to touch my daughter again, the only one getting dragged out of here will be you in handcuffs."

Is the guys wife there? Can she be reasoned with to help calm him down? My first thought is probably not because she is probably scared to death of him...

I applaud your daughter for doing the right thing, it can be easy to get in the moment and kick at the ball rather than pull up... and even if she did kick the ball it'd be a great teaching moment, not a time to drag her by her hair.

I 100% am with you on the parent. When I was in sports there were a lot of opposing parents who would yell crap at/about me and I think my parents always responded very similarly. Tell the parent that they basically are crazy without escalating it. Of course it was funny during one track meet to watch my 5'0 mother try to jump the fence to the track when a bigger runner basically threw me off the track during a relay Thankfully she didn't make it to the track.

I think my response was along the lines of, "if you go on that field after my daughter, the only thing getting dragged off the field is you in a ambulance"

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Sounds to me like you did the right thing by responding but not escalating it

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Perfectly said. I think it's important to let the person know he has no right to talk about your daughter that way, but escalating it to violence over (probably drunk) empty threats would have been a bad move IMO. I think all in all, you came out as the good guy and the other father will be known by both teams as a world-class jackass.

you did the right thing..I coached 6th grade football in Portage County for 5 years.
I decided to take a year off. why.The parents.
you would be surprise how many dads don't take time with their sons out of practice
to work with them. simply throwing a fball.
they don't understand that their kid isn't the next Brady or JJ Watt.
"how come my kid isn't getting as much playing time as this kid?"
I want to say,because your son lacks the temperment to play this game and if I put him in at RG,he's gonna kill my best RB. your kid is soft and really isn't interested in being physical.
I think some parents force kids to play football. anything to get them off the couch.

Don't lose another second of your life thinking about it, I think you handled it just fine.

Stuff like this is why I always stood off alone in some far corner.


I didn't need to hear other people comment's and they didn't need to hear mine.

I feel you on that one. I have been the director of Girls Basketball in Rootstown for the past couple years. Now that we are in Kent, I am so looking forward to being able to just go and enjoy the games and no have to hear so many parents complaining to me about every damn ,coach, refs,league,tournament that we play in/dont play in. Its bad enough to deal with the parents from one team, let alone from 5 teams.

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you did the right thing..I coached 6th grade football in Portage County for 5 years.
I decided to take a year off. why.The parents.
you would be surprise how many dads don't take time with their sons out of practice
to work with them. simply throwing a fball.
they don't understand that their kid isn't the next Brady or JJ Watt.
"how come my kid isn't getting as much playing time as this kid?"
I want to say,because your son lacks the temperment to play this game and if I put him in at RG,he's gonna kill my best RB. your kid is soft and really isn't interested in being physical.
I think some parents force kids to play football. anything to get them off the couch.

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