DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... My mom needs about 4.9 million prayers- bad cancer

so... I decided that I have been on this board (and the old one combined) for about 10 years now. I haven't met anyone off of here but I decided that I would share with everyone what has been going on in my personal life

So rewinding back to 5 days before Christmas this past year.

I I got a text from my cousin while I was at work telling me that my mom was up at the hospital because apparently she had passed out. I got up there as quick as I could and i found her in the ER. She was so far out of it they thought she escaped from the psych ward. Apparently, she was going for a walk and while she was walking she had passed out on the side walk. A good Samaritan had driven by and seen that she was was soaking wet and not awake. They called 911 and someone came and got her.

By the time I got there they had done a MRI/Cat scan and were waiting for a brain surgeon to drive over from the main campus of the Cleveland Clinic to read the results and talk to me about it. He basically told me that my mom had a ton of pressure in her brain and that had caused her to pass out. They had to do emergency surgery and put in a shunt to equalize the spinal fluid that was in her brain. I am an only choild and she is not married so I had to authorize it because she was not mentally capable. And that is how I became her POA for medical decisions (will get to that later)

After the shunt was put in and removed she remained in a step down unit at the main campus for about a week until they let her move to another general admin room for a few days until they could get her into the assisted living place that she is still at today because she can't take care of herself anymore. I should probably stop here and throw out there that I am 32 and my mom is only 53.

because of the tumor she can no longer look up with her eyes and her eyes shake when she looks at you because of the location where the tumor is. They also started her on a steroid so that we could do a biopsy and figure out what type of tumor it was in her brain. After 6-7 week she gained about 60 pounds. She had gone through a lot of setbacks both mentally, and physically. They were also doing every test possible tryoing to figure out what type it was.

They exhausted every option and we finally got a biopsy scheduled on mar 11th. The Dr was very reluctant because it was located on her brain stem next to the 4th ventricle (which controls the spinal flluid flow from her brain into her spine) and apparently (as the doc put it) where this thing is.... it is very expensive real estate and one lil thing gets bumped and they could cause her to bleed to death or cause damage to her abilities for example (talk, bathroom control, breathing etc)

She still wanted to go through with it and on the 11th after about 2 hours the doctor came out and said she did well and they would have results in about a week but it didn't look good. When she woke up she had lost her ability to speak properly (she was probably the most eloquent and proper spoken people I have ever met in my life) she now struggles to find her words, she talks very slow, and she stutters. (none of which she did before) she graduated from Ursuline about 12ish years ago she was pretty much at the top of her class and was working on a triple major.

Anyways... we met with the doctor on the 19th and they told us she had been diagnosed with a grade 4 anaplastic gbm.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glioblastoma_multiforme

this thing is the most aggressive tumor there is (it has doubled in size in less than two months )there and to boot the tumor itself is extremely rare.
She is 53, she may live a year but because she cannot have surgery because it is located on her brain stem. she is doing chemo and radiation for approx 8 week She is expected to make it about 6 months and there is no cure for this and even if they shrink it or make it go away... it will grow back.

Please say a prayer or two for her... she has been having a rough time coping and she didn't have a job/insurance-health/life.

thank you

SBD

Oh man, I cannot imagine what you and her are going through.

I will definitely keep your mom (and you) in my prayers. It doesn't sound like she can get better, but I will pray for her, that she does not suffer, that she can find peace. and that you can find some peace as well. (But I will pray for a miracle as well)

May God be with you both, and comfort you.

Prayers are on the way buddy

My prayers are with you and your Mother.

thoughts and prayers...

I'm very sorry to read that. I echo YTowns words. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom and praying for a miracle as well.

I will certainly pray for you and your mom.

Oh man I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.. She's way to young for this.

I wish I had words that would help, but really, all I have for you is prayer..

super...thanks for sharing such a personal story.

Hopefully your mom will take some comfort knowing the DawgTalkers are praying for her.

Both you and especially your mother, will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Our thoughts and prayers SB.

My prayers are with you sbd. God bless both of you.

Your situation brings back memories from approx 40 years ago. My father at age 37 had virtually the same thing.

One thing. When he looked up with his eyes he couldn't bring them back down, or basically the exact opposite of your mothers. However, in the beginning, we would tell him to focus and follow our finger down until his eyes were leveled off. It worked, albeit for a short while.

He was the biggest Browns fan there was in the early 60s till 73. Season tix holder and started taking me to every game in about 1960. He's the sole reason I've had them ever since 73.

I'm sorry man :\

I'm a hospice nurse. If you need someone with a professional unbiased perspective to talk to, or have questions, PM me.
Prayers sent for you and your mother's peace.

Prayers out to you and your mom, man.

You got 'em.

You've got it.

My family's prayers are with you and your mother

Sorry to hear about your mom, super... Prayers are on their way. Godspeed.

I will say a prayer for your mom and you. I'm sorry this has happened.

My Dad has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and we all know what that means. It's very difficult to watch a parent start to fail and seemingly fade away. It makes me so sad. So, if you need to talk with someone who isn't going through the exact same thing, but is going through something similar, feel free to PM.

Take care.

Prayers to you and your mom.

Thoughts and prayers to you and your Mom, Superbowldogg. You too, Jules. I don't know if either of you have seen it in the Colt McCoy trade thread, but Redddawg has a similar sad situation with his son. Hang in there.

Prayers go out to your mother and to you brother. I went through something similar not long ago, so if you ever need someone to talk to just give me a yell.

My mother's experience was drawn out over several years.

There came a point when more chemo and radiation was being suggested. Her response "I'm not doing that again" "But, Mom.." "I've had enough. No more."
Her call, not ours. (There are four children.) No Regrets.

There were discussions with her doctor, as in "how many pain pills would it take..."

There had already been discussions about extraordinary measures. " I don't want to live with all those tubes and machines. If I'm gone, i'm gone. Let me go". There came a point when the decision to pull the plug was made. All four of us knew her wishes. Her call, not ours. No Regrets.

There were certain other events at the end that are complicated, but basically revolved around who should be there, or really who should not. Our father was there, which none of us four desired. The first discussion was "is he in on the plug decision? NO. Do we want him there? NO. Does SHE want him there? Long pause. I don't know" There is a LOT more to that, but, if you have any such questions, you need to find out now. The answers may not be available when you need them. Eight years later, I really, REALLY wish I had known the answer to that question. HUGE Regrets.

Another thing she said was "When I die, a lot of history dies with me." I have this old family video with a bunch of people in it I have no idea who they are. I meant for a while to watch it with her, which I did, and record her comments, which I did not. Really meant to do that. Ran out of time.

She wanted cremated, and her ashes sprinkled in the ocean. We did that, and watched the ashes spread out, and disappear. I'm the baby of the family, and right where I was standing, there was a little eddy or pool by some rocks, where some ashes lingered and circled for a while. I said to my Mom "It's OK, you did good, I'll be alright." They just faded away after that.

Don't think I ever said exactly that while she was alive, but I wish I had. I like to think she heard me when I did.

j/c

Will pray for you and your family. Peace to you and yours.

Sorry to hear about your Mom, SBD. Prayers for sure.

sorry, dogg. Can't imagine the pain. Sending prayers.

Nothing I can say will seem adequate.

Thoughts and prayers to you and your mother.

I know what you are going through. My daughter was diagnosed with an anaplastic astrocytoma (Grade 3) at the age of 12. We went through a number of surgeries, chemo, radiation, steroids, and alternative treatments. I am praying for your mother and you.

While we went through this I met a lot of great people. Some of them had been healed miraculously despite docs saying there was no hope. God does heal people. My daughter passed away after 2 years of fighting the disease. She died on July 28th 2011. But I am just as sure that God does heal than I have ever been. Sometimes we see the healing on earth and for some it comes in Heaven.

My wife (Melanie Boulis) wrote a book called "Between Heaven and Healing" that describes our journey and how God has brought us through...even though God chose Heaven for our little girl. If you PM me your address I will send you a free copy of the book. We have heard from many people that it has helped them as they have gone through various trials themselves.

I still remember how hard it was when we had to decide to continue to fight or call in hospice. We called in hospice but continued to pray for a miracle. There is nothing harder than losing a loved one but God can and will help you through if you run to Him and not from Him...Jesus was the only one that could console me in my grief. I still lean on Him as you never get over losing someone you love that much.

Oh Superbowl!, I am so sorry to hear about this.

You have my prayers. I couldn't imagine what you and your family are going through right now. I will pray for you and your family...

thank you everyone for your prayers it means a lot. I've been running around crazy the past few days. I hope things will sort of settle back down. I am glad I'm not the only one who is/has gone through this stuff. it's crazy how draining physically and mentally it all is.

@ chuck wow... I'm so sorry! I think that would probably be harder to lose a child vs a parent because as children we all expect (at some point) to bury our parents. I just didn't expect it to be at 32-33. It is really hard to watch my mom go through this and she wants to fight so I will do whatever she wants. I couldn't imagine losing my son. He is my life and ever since he fit in my arm he was most of the reasons I am so motivated and the reason I got up in the mornings. My heart goes out to you.

I don't know if I mentioned that I can appreciate the anaplastic part. My mom does have that as well. I'll have to try and check out the book.Honestly, a lot of times right now I just feel like I'm on auto pilot.

My son's (11) first baseball game is in 2 1/2 weeks. I have my internet marketing job that I travel around the state of ohio. I am right in the middle of remodeling 3/4 of my home and my gf just started a new job about 2 weeks ago. lol

Anyone got another brick they can lend me before I attempt to go swim in Lake Erie? LMAO. luckily- I am stubborn and strong (might be stupid) enough to just keep plugging along one day at a time and not focus on stuff too far out or how heavy the bricks are. I just keep kicking along.

thank you nelson for sharing your experience with me.

I had discussed why she wanted because of her first brain surgery because I'm her medical POA and I didn't want to do what she didn't want. I personally would want to go as quick as possible. I would want to say my goodbye's and be done. I have watched my mom fall apart so fast that I would rather it be done in 3 months than 12. She has gotten to the point where she can't walk by herself.

I have been trying to sit down with my mom and talk about her recipes that she made when I was a kid and just get the stuff off my chest that I want to say before she passes away. I don't know if I will have enough time but I am doing the best I can with it.

Portland and jules... than you so much!

I have to find some time to pm you both and reply to mr peen too. I went from being on this site like 4x a day two weeks ago to 2x in the past 3-4 days.

Dogg - consider it done. While I'm not a religious person, or even believe in God to be honest, I do believe in spirituality, the positive energy of well being, and the power of love and the mind.

I lost my mom to cancer on Thanksgiving Day in 1981, when I was 13. Not a day goes by when she isn't with me, in some form or fashion. Constantly thought of, influenced by her, motivated by her courage and strength. That's what gets me through this rollercoaster we call life.

I use that experience to help me deal with the situation my father is currently in ... Bad alzheimers. He's my only living relative, and doesn't even know me. Makes for a lonely existence.

Fight the good fight, brother. It's all you can truly do. Love, support, encourage, and lean on those that are there for you.

- John

Hang in there Erock your not alone. My Mom is not is good shape and my Dad is not far behind. My Mom's mind is in bad shape and my Dad is not far behind and alzheimers runs in my family. My Dad was my best man at my wedding so that tells you how close we have always been

Then prayers out to you and your parents as well.

My prayers and positive thoughts to her and your family. I'm so sorry your mom is going through this. Wish there was more I could do or say.

Hey I ALWAYS look on the bright side bro. When I come down with oldtimers (If I live that long) I can make new friends every day, AND sleep with a new woman every night without getting in trouble

Thoughts and prayers are with you, SBD. My step-grandson is a cancer survivor, working his way through college. Prayers and positive thoughts do help.

LOL...but it could be awkward the next day when you offer to pay for her cab fare...