DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum On the lighter side.. The Pet Rules..

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain
your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I
am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the
bathroom. If by Some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not Necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other
dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the
following message on our Front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain
About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

That's why they call it "fur"niture .

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and Cats are better than kids because
they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

I loved this and want to post the whole thing on my fridge and/or at work. My hubby would completely disagree with you about

Quote:

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4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

---

But somewhow, their innocence and unconditional love get the best of me....

Ha! Good one... My dog to a Tee.. Now if I could only teach her and All The Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain how to read.

heh, cute pups

that bit about the bathroom and the stairs....i've got 5 cats...been tellin them both things for years now.... "fur"niture...LMAO

He! He! Good read

Thanks Paul that brought a to my face.

Haha that was funny. My dog for sure thinks the stairs are a nascar track. Apparently the only way to go up and down stairs in dog world is full blast supersonic speed.

-Eve