Who said anything about losing your cool? It's an emotional game played by emotional people.
Romeo was cool. Passive Pat was cool. How did that work out?
Look, you have to be your own self. There is no right or wrong way. All I know, is that I much preferred playing for emotional coaches rather than the Ice Kings. But, to each their own.
Here is a personal story. I was the starting point guard on our high school basketball team. We were playing in a three-way scrimmage w/Barberton and some other team I can't recall. Barberton was coached by the legendary Jack Greynolds. They had the Bodner twins who both later starred at Michigan and Carter Scott, who starred at Ohio State.
It was my job--as our best defender--to cover Scott. I checked him pretty good. He couldn't get squat off the dribble and his jump shot wasn't that great. However, he took me inside and even though I blocked him out perfectly, he jumped over me and got two offensive rebounds. It was humiliating. We lost that first scrimmage.
We go to the locker room afterwards while Barberton and the other team played the next quarter. My coach, a Bobby Knight type of guy, comes at me and grabs me by my jersey and pushes me into the lockers. He calls me a f...............p................. He's spitting on me while he is cussing me out.
I had three choices.
1. I could have cowered in submission and went home and told my parents. Pffftttt, my dad would have smacked me in the freaking head and said I was wrong to make my coach mad.
2. I could have hit him. I was a golden glove boxer and I knew I could have kicked his butt. However, I was raised to respect authority, and that was not even a real option.
I chose choice number:
3. I glared at him w/my chin up and vowed to myself I would show that son of a you know what who was tough and who wasn't. I went out and played the best ball of my life. I played great against the third team and then got the better of Scott in our rematch.
The little soccer peeps might think my coach was a goof. He wasn't. He knew what buttons to push w/me. He would never do that w/some other players, but he knew that is what worked w/me.
I do want to add that it doesn't always have to be confrontational. Most times, it is not. I was a emotional as a coach. But, most of the time, when I yelled, it was to pump my guys up. I would scream at them that they could kick number 78's butt. You have worked harder than they have. You are better than they are. Believe in yourself. Dig deep. Etc, etc.........
Some of you will think that is stupid and lame.
All I know is this.................my own children, who were younger and the reason I quit coaching.............tell me stories of how many of my players view me as the greatest influence in their life. I do know that my players still converse w/me. When I return to Ohio, we hook up. Some call me "dad."
No Ice King will ever get that return on their investment. I guarantee you that!