DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Tailgate Forum Open Letter from josh

An Open Letter To Charles Barkley & Co.
Yes, I have a “problem,” but it’s not the one all of you seem to think it is.
By Josh Gordon

Dear Sir Charles, Stephen A., Cris and other interested parties,

Thank you for your recent outpouring of concern about my well being. In what has been a difficult time for my family, friends and fans, you — and those like you — have taken it upon yourselves to express just how much you care about me and my future. For that, I am truly appreciative.

The thing is, though, you don’t even know me.
Chuck, you have never so much as shook my hand, let alone exchanged a single word with me. Few of you have, to be honest. Respectfully, your worry over my “problems” with substance abuse and my twisting descent into darkness and, apparently, my impending death, is misplaced — mostly because you have very little idea what you are talking about. None of you do, even those of you who seem curiously obsessed with the goings-on in my life:

You’re done with me, Stephen A.? That presumes we ever actually got started. How, exactly, can you be “done” with someone you have never had a meaningful conversation with beyond a quick First Take spot? Regardless, I am relieved that you no longer need to harbor sympathy for me — mostly because I never asked for it, never wanted it, and certainly never needed it. I am not a victim here; I never claimed to be one, either.

And Cris, your level of interest in my life is even more puzzling, especially considering we have never met, either.


In addition to being concerned about me — like when you publicly called for the Browns cut me so I could learn the same lessons you learned — you also stated as fact that “we are dealing with addiction here.” Know this: We are not dealing with anything, Cris. We are not the same. Not at all.

So, in the interest of lifting the heavy burden of my welfare off your collective consciences, I’d like to set the record straight about a few things.

First, words cannot express the remorse and regret I feel over this latest incident. I acknowledge that the repeated transgressions that have led up to this point have damaged my credibility, and for that, the only person to blame is me.

I have let down many in Cleveland — my Browns teammates, our hard-working coaching staff, the team’s ownership, and the loyal fan base that wants nothing more than to win. Playing there is different than in many other cities. We feel the fans’ pain. We know how important this is to them.

Also, I have disappointed the family and close friends who have always stood by me — no matter how tough things have been at certain points in my life. Believe me, there have been more dark days than I care to remember.

Most importantly, I have failed myself. Again.

I failed myself when started using marijuana regularly as a young teenager. I failed myself when I ruined a once-in-a-lifetime chance to be Robert Griffin III’s running mate during his Heisman Trophy-winning season at Baylor. I failed myself when I didn’t check with the league office to ensure that my doctor-prescribed, codeine-based medicine was allowed under NFL guidelines. I failed myself when I was arrested for driving a motor vehicle with a blood-alcohol level over the legal limit. I failed myself when I missed a team walkthrough late in the season and was suspended for the final game of the year.

But you know what, Charles, Stephen A., Cris and everyone else? I also have succeeded.

I succeeded by escaping a youth riddled with poverty, gang violence and very little in the way of guidance or support. I succeeded by narrowly avoiding a life of crime that managed to sink its clutches into almost all of my childhood friends. I succeeded by working tremendously hard on my craft and my body to even have a chance to play professional football for a living. And, contrary to popular belief, I succeeded by overcoming my longstanding relationship with weed — because I knew I was risking my future over it.

Truth is, I have not smoked marijuana since before I was drafted by the Browns in 2012 — and there are years’ worth of drug tests to prove it.
So, then how did I get here, you ask? That’s easy. I messed up. But to even begin to understand why I messed up, you need to know the Josh Gordon that existed before the NFL.

I don’t speak of it often, and even less so publicly, but I faced a fair amount of hardship growing up. My father was pretty much out of the picture, which left my mom to fend for herself with three sons at home. She did the best she could, but there were large stretches of time as an adolescent when I was completely alone — with no supervision, no one to guide me, and no one to keep me in line.

We lived in a poor section of Houston called Fondren, and to say it was a rough place would be putting it lightly. The other kids in the neighborhood weren’t well off, either, but it always felt like we had even less to our name. We moved at least seven times, and things were so bad sometimes, there were days I would come home from school and there would be no electricity, heat or hot water.

Over time, particularly after my older brothers moved out, I started hanging out with the wrong kind of people. The kind who would think nothing not only of carrying guns, but using them. Back then, smoking marijuana wasn’t an addiction for any of us — we were still boys, basically. It was just what everyone did. It was everywhere, just like alcohol was.

So Charles, Stephen A., Cris — you judge me now, but what if you came from where I come from? Heck, maybe you did experience similar upbringings, but I wouldn’t know, because I do not know you. Each of you have dealt with more than your fair shares of self-inflicted controversies, though, that I do know.

Again, I make no excuses for my past. That culture didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, but when you judge me without actually knowing me, you deny the existence of the world I come from.
Later, when I went to college, it was like a dream come true, but in retrospect, I wasn’t ready for it. I had to have that opportunity taken away from me before I could really look within myself and decide what I wanted for my future. Was I going to continue to break rules to get high, or was I going to get straight and make the most of my God-given talents?

I made my choice when it came to the NFL, and I haven’t wavered.

Now, I messed up again. It happened about four weeks ago.

As most everyone knows, I missed a considerable portion of the 2014 season because I was suspended by the league. The details in relation to my reinstatement, however, are important to understand.

In connection with the DWI case, the league — in consideration of the fact that my blood-alcohol level was just .01 over the legal limit — agreed to shorten my punishment from four games lost to two. These games were tacked on to my eight-game suspension that had been levied on account of my inadvertently inhaling second-hand marijuana smoke last offseason.

That punishment — while harsh, given what my lab results clearly showed, including a backup sample that was under the league threshold — was just. I foolishly put myself in a precarious situation, one which I could have easily avoided if I had thought more clearly about the potential ramifications of my actions and who I chose to spend time around.

As a strict condition to my reinstatement in Week 12, I had to agree not only to abstain from drinking for the rest of the season, but also to submit to an alcohol screen as part of my in-season drug testing under the league’s substance-abuse protocol. Did I think that was excessive given I had never had any issue whatsoever with alcohol? Yes. Did I think it was hypocritical that a professional league making hundreds of millions of dollars off beer sponsorships was telling me not to drink? Yes. Did I so much as blink at the condition? No.

My primary concern was — and is — being the best football player I can be; I really didn’t even view it as much of a punishment or sacrifice.

On Jan. 2 of this year, just days after our season ended earlier than we all had hoped — and yes, my actions during the prior offseason definitely contributed to our failure to make the playoffs; it killed me seeing our guys fight so hard when I wasn’t out there with them — I boarded a private flight to Las Vegas with several teammates. During the flight, I had two beers and two drinks. It was the first time I had consumed so much as a drop of alcohol since July 4, 2014, the day of the DWI.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not much of a drinker. Even calling me a social drinker would be an exaggeration, but at that moment, on that flight, I made a choice. The wrong choice, as it turned out.

Upon landing, I received the all-too-familiar notice by phone that I was to report to a testing location within four hours. I failed the test, obviously, and the rest is history … colored by media speculation and faux outrage.

In the end, of course, I failed myself.

It doesn’t matter if I thought that the league-imposed restriction on drinking had expired at the end of the regular season; what matters is that I didn’t confirm whether or not that was the case. Now, that oversight has further jeopardized my relationship with my team and our fans, my reputation, and maybe even my career.

So that’s it, Charles & Co.

These are the actual facts surrounding my situation, and these are my words. What comes next is uncertain. I haven’t decided whether to appeal the latest suspension. That’s a matter for my agent and me to discuss.

To those of you who traffic in lies and innuendo over fact, with seemingly no consequences for your actions …


I really don’t know how you get away with it.

What I do know is the following: I am not a drug addict; I am not an alcoholic; I am not someone who deserves to be dissected and analyzed like some tragic example of everything that can possibly go wrong for a professional athlete. And … I am not going to die on account of the troubled state you wrongly believe my life to be in. I am a human being, with feelings and emotions and scars and flaws, just like anyone else. I make mistakes — I have made a lot of mistakes — but I am a good person, and I will persevere.

If I have a “problem,” it is that I am only 23 years old — with a lot left to learn. I’ve come a long way from those mean Fondren streets, but it’s clear that I can be a better me — one who kids coming up to me for selfies and autographs can be proud of. I want that future for myself. And I truly believe that what I am going through right now will only make me stronger. I believe that my future is bright.

If you see me someday, Chuck, Stephen A., Cris, or any other well-intentioned person to whom this letter is directed, please come on over, shake my hand, and say hello. I won’t be holding a grudge, but I will expect you to admit you were wrong about me.

Sincerely,

Josh Gordon, No. 12

https://medium.com/the-cauldron/an-open-letter-to-charles-barkley-co-cb5c4e64cf3

Good letter.. but I refuse to believe he actually wrote it.

I don't care about what he has to say, he needs to just stop acting like an idiot and that will fix everything. It's REALLY simple to do, too. He has lost the care from me (and others, I'm sure) to listen to what he has to say. Just shut up, stop making stupid decisions, and play your butt off. This screams of the look-at-me society we live in right now. I don't need to read a novel from this guy about all of his "hard" times.

Why?

Those are still his thoughts. It doesn't matter if he was the final revision or not.

Anyway, ok, he owned up to it, but he "owned" up to it all the other times. When is enough just enough?

I can understand why he thought the alcohol ban expired after the season was over. But even still, he should've ASK before doing ANYTHING at this point. All it would've took was a phone call to the coach or GM just to see if it meant the end of the Browns season or the league season. That's it. He didn't do it.

The sob story is a joke. I grew up in the hood too. So did countless others in the NFL. Unlike those countless others in the NFL, he's the one screwing up time after time. There's gotta be a time when you stop using your childhood and the way you was raised as an excuse. Crow had it rough, yet oncenhe hit the NFL, we didn't hear a WORD out of him. Not one.

Tired of the excuses. Put up or shut up. You should be happy the Browns haven't cut you yet, seeing as there's no point since you owe us 2 more seasons.

This is funny because I was under the impression the whole time that it was actually his agent who wrote this.

Take the very next line...



... Right.

Who care's if he personally put pen to paper? They are his thoughts and story and someone editorialized them into the letter. It's no different that LeBron's "I'm Coming Home" letter.

To me, it was an honest self-assessment and he did not make excuses. He understands he has screwed up numerous times and has taken ownership of his failures. From a human element, I hope the guy gets back on his feet and has a successful career whether that be with Browns or another NFL team.

That is one heck of a letter. I wish that I could believe it.

I do believe that he screwed up with the alcohol, and maybe he did believe that his requirement to stay away from it ended when the season ended, but his assertion that he almost never drinks is belied by the fact that he got a DUI, and then failed a test for alcohol. The more I think about it, I do not think that Gordon has a drug or drinking problem. I think that he has a stupid problem. I also find it a little disingenuous that he says that he has not smoked pot since he entered the league, yet he has failed 5 or 6 different drug tests in that period of time. I can understand that maybe there was one for a doctor prescribed medication. Maybe another was for second hand smoke. What about the other 3 or 4 though?

This letter seems to be a letter where he takes responsibility while also somewhat passing the buck. I accept that he grew up in a troubled area, in far from ideal circumstances. I would guess that this happened with over 50% of NFL players. Josh still has a responsibility to his team, his teammates, his family, and to himself and his own talent to stay clean. If he doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem, yet keeps failing all of these tests, then he has a "stupid" problem.

I hope that Josh can get himself straightened out, but I find it impossible to believe that the Browns will ever count on him as anything but a 4th or 5th receiver. I don't see how any team could. He has incredible talent, yet his history is one of a man who constantly lets those around him down. It is a shame. he could be one of the greatest of all time if he only put himself completely into his craft, yet he keeps allowing stupid to get int he way. The "I am only 23" bit is also getting old. Last year he was only 22, and the year before he was only 21. When does getting past that excuse come of age?

I hope and pray that he manages to confront whatever problems he has with drugs, alcohol, and a lack of good judgment. While I do think that some in the media use situations like this as a self promotion, and they exaggerate the situation in order to make their points, the fact remains that Gordon put himself in this situation, and he opened himself up for such examination. He cannot blame anyone else. He did it to himself.

Josh, please get yourself into counselling. You need a mentor to help you to make better decisions. You need to learn to make better decisions, so you look at a situation where you could be suspended for a single drink, and you say to yourself, "I could be suspended for a single drink during this season. I know that all eyes are upon me, so I better not have a single drink for the rest of this year, and all of next season." He needs to get to the point where he says "I love playing football, and I know that this is a job, so I better treat it as such. I owe it to my employer to do everything i can to be as great a player as I possibly can." He needs to tell his friends who smoke pot that they cannot smoke it anywhere around him. They cannot smoke it in his home, car, or anywhere else. His job depends upon it, and if one of his friends wants to sabotage his success by bringing pot into Josh's life again then that friend isn't a friend, and has to be removed from his life.

Josh needs help in a lot of areas. He needs to grow up and take absolute and total responsibility for his actions. I would guess that he is completely out of chances here. However, he owes it to his next employer, if there is one, to do better than he did for the Browns.

As a teacher there are only so many times I will believe my students' "excuses"

Whether it was they didn't have the internet, or had a sporting event that ran late, or took the wrong book home, etc ... at some point I stop believing them

Yeah I personally don't feel like the letter changes my perception of anything. I can believe he thought that he was only tested for alcohol during the season. apparently he's not disputing that he was wrong about it. That's the only thing it might change for me.

This is garbage. Everything he said during the season, his action on the field, they all paint an entirely different picture than what he wrote. The crying about how his teammates didn’t support him during his 10 game timeout. The dogging it on the field and missing meetings.


Lots of guys come from tough upbringings, it stopped being a valid an excuse the moment he left the ghetto. What a load of “look at me”, “feel sorry for me” horse crap.

yep. actions always speak louder than words

At this point, not many people care about sob stories and fluff pieces. Actions speak louder than words. JG has to find a way to get clean, stay clean, and be stone cold sober 100% of the time for at least the rest of his career. Obviously he is not very good at balancing between between catching a buzz and staying under the NFL's limits on marijuana and alcohol. I know his lawyered up letters suggest differently but I see right through that (maybe I'm wrong, but I doubt it.)

This brings up another idea.

Since JG passed so many drug tests, and he's on record as to saying that taking codeine was from a perscription, he has not smoked marijuana since joining the NFL, and went months without drinking a drop of alchol....... release the results of the drug tests. Make them public. If those are actually truthful statements, he should consistently be coming in at 0 ng/ml on marijuana and 0.00 on alcohol. I would bet those are not how the tests actually went but I have no evidence of that and the NFL can't release that info. Josh Gordon can.

So "Gordon" doesn't have a problem with drugs or alcohol. . . it just cost him his livelihood because he couldn't control himself when those things were around. Got it.

I wonder if the teammates on the plane knew Gordon was allowed to drink?

I like how "Gordon" justifies is DUI by saying it was only .01 over the legal limit.

I feel sorry for Gordon. He has obviously had a hard life. With that said he needs to get help for whatever ails him. Whatever he has been doing for the past several years obviously doesn't work.

Everything happens to him.

He clearly doesn't get it.

I would release him today and move on.

IF he actually wrote this, or had someone put on paper what his thoughts were but in a more literate manor is not relevant to me.

What's relevant is that going into the future, he gets it right.

If he does, he probably can have a career in the NFL, if he can't, Oh well....

Also, it's clear he didn't do much homework before he wrote this. Charles Barkley, Chris Carter and Stephen A Smith??

Apparently THOSE guys don't know what it's like to grow up in a tough environment??? I am beyond sick of this kid and his know it all, I don't need any help, I can do this all on my own attitude.

I am by no means supporting Josh Gordon and his stupidity, nor making excuses for his behavior. But, this quote from the article gave me cause for pause.

So...... Gordon, (maybe Manziel) and teammates boarded a private plane heading to Vegas and out of the blue, Josh gets a call to pee in a cup, basically when they land?

I wonder if someone that has it out for Gordon tipped off the NFL that he was taking a flight to Vegas with possibly Manziel. It almost seems too convenient that that was the way it went down. I guess it's just me playing my usual conspiracy theory self. I don't know. *shrugs*


Or me believing this blockhead's account....

Or they saw this picture on instagram and said "hey we should probably test this moron."

Quite possibly, BpG. I just find it hard to believe that the NFL monitors its players THAT closely. I wonder if someone on the staff that was bent with his effort over the last six weeks notified the league and said "Hey, Gordon and Manziel are on their way to Vegas. I bet nothing good will come from that."

If someone can't drink or do drugs why are they even going to Las Vegas in the first place?

Bunny Ranches????

I follow it that closely and I don't get paid to do it. So...

I get instant notifications on my phone anytime Manziel tweets something. I have to imagine the league office employees are doing the same.

Here is a link to the group in question.

I recognize Miles Austin, Travis Benjamin, Joe Haden, Buster Skrine, Andrew Hawkins, and Gordon. There are several others I don't recognize.

Even worse. I am supposed to believe that Joe Haden was cool with Josh Gordon drinking on the flight? I seriously doubt it or Haden didn't know he couldn't, which is also unlikely.

You mean like the small white guy who looks completely out of place?

I really hope his teammates didn't know. If they knew they shouldn't have even invited him. That is still no excuse though.

Yeah.

Plenty of guys in the drug program that aren't getting 10 game and now 16 game bans in less than one year.

Now to be fair to josh and I dont want to defend him cause the kid does have issues but I am sorry, I dont fly without a couple drinks before and during the flight and when I land I dont want to be coming down.

Did he misunderstand the leagues new drug policy? Probably did, cause I have yet to see anyone that does have a good understanding of the new policy and that includes the guys that signed it. When they were asked questions they gave the most vague info i have seen.

Now as for the excuses come on gordon, if you didnt smoke pot, you were damn sure eating brownies or sucking down lollipops. I hope he finds a way to beat it. Do I think he will fail another? yes I do. Do I think his NFL career is over? No, he has the talent to get him another chance or two. He is a top 3 receiver in the league talent wise. That will give him more opportunities.

j/c

2 beers and 2 drinks.......on a flight from Cleveland to vegas..........That's a minimum of 3 hours - maybe 4.

Then, he had 4 hours to report for the test?

Come on Josh..........things aren't adding up. An adult male processes the equivalent of 1 drink per hour. ("regular" drink).

ANd the whole "hey, I grew up in a rough area and smoking pot was the norm, so don't hold it against me" crap....Obviously, when he went to college in a much better environment, smoking pot was still the norm.

That was Browns (now-fired) WR coach Mike McDaniel.

Seriously.

Yeah, I saw someone tweet that, wasn't sure if it was true or not.

it is, i compared pictures.

Good post.

-I really liked the letter a lot!

But the reality of the situation is he is a first class football screwup. I don't even think he knows what the future holds for him.

...Good God, is this team pure drama or is this team pure drama?

he should have been fired. Oo wait guess he was.

I enjoyed reading the letter and all but there is nothing Josh Gordon has done to deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Still, I keep him. He costs nothing, won't take up a roster spot, and his contract life is frozen in time.

Seemed like an extremely real letter to me. I hope he turns his life around. . . . and it matters not one bit whether he penned the letter or it was written by someone else based on Josh's sentiments/opinion.

Seems like we have some awfully judgmental souls on this board. Lord knows I would have failed worse than JG if I had been given the same riches at his age.