DawgTalkers.net Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Serial car pooper on the loose in Akron

'Bowel movement bandit' who pooped on 19 parked cars sought by Ohio police
By ABC 7 News March 12, 2015 - 07:21 pm

AKRON, Ohio (WEWS) - Akron Police have quite a mess on their hands.

The mystery pooper. (Photo: WEWS)
Officers are searching for someone they said has defecated on 19 parked cars in driveways since May 2012.

The bowel movement bandit strikes between 4 and 6 a.m. On Wednesday morning, a resident caught the suspect on film. She set up a camera after the seventh time that someone had pooped on her car while it was parked in her driveway.

One man said that the defecator has struck his car six times, and has even smeared it on his hood, door handles, gas tank cover, windshield and mirrors.

The map above shows the places hit by the man, who could face misdemeanor criminal mischief or criminal damaging charges. The spots are between Hancock Avenue, Waterloo Road, state Route 93 and Kenmoore Road.

So far, none of the victims have recognized the man in the photo, but Akron Police said Thursday that the department has received about a dozen tips about the identity of the man.

No arrests have been made, but police are following up on leads, hoping to get to the bottom of this.

If you have information, call Akron Police at 330-375-2552.
Website

Finally, someone that gives a crap.

"You asked for miracles, Theo, I give you the F...B...I..."

I don't understand the problem. He's just putting a deposit down on a car.

Just a bit of intestinal fortitude

I wonder if he picks just any cars or if he has a certain type. Mini Pooper?

Talk about a Hot Car-l.

There are just some things that cannot be made up lol...

Well, that's one way to put a big drop on the car payment.

Once they see the carnage left on these cars: "We're gonna need some more FBI guys"

Serious question though...

Let's say this is someone in your family. Do you turn him in? Talk about an awkward convesation.

I think I'd try to convince them to move to the west coast and never come back.

I wonder if he is targeting certain makes models or colors? Or if he knows his victims? If he was out in the cold we had last month just to poop on cars during the hours of 4-6 am; he is certainly committed!

I know the area where this has been taking place. Its in the Kenmore district of Akron. My ex GF lives in Kenmore and I almost moved there myself, until I got sick of her. But, Kenmore can be a pretty tough neighborhood. If he gets caught he better hope its the police and not the wrong person.

Perhaps.

Ever hear that song: "Little Deuce Coupe?"

He seems to be a fan of the BM... W.

Was actually putting some serious thought into this (lol, I know, trouble!) but the conclusion I came up with is...

If I happened to walk out and encounter someone dropping a #2 on my Subaru, one of two things will happen:

Someone isn't fast enough to outrun a 12 gauge loaded with 2 3/4 double 00 buckshot.

Someone is fast enough to outrun a 12 gauge, but won't be fast enough to outrun an AR-15 haha.

I wonder if this is covered under your auto insurance? "Like a good neighbor State Farm is there!" ... there is poop on my car.

This whole situation stinks!

Disgruntled Browns fan...

Dan Lebetard?

I worked for an uber fancy hotel in NYC right after it had been converted from a rental building. There were 6 "permanent residents", aka people they couldn't buy out and the hotel just had to wait for them to die. These people had rent control from as far back as the 1970's and in one case was paying $475/mo for a two bedroom in a trendy midtown neighborhood In other words 1/10th (conservatively) of what they'd pay now. Anyway, shortly after the grand opening the hotel was riding a major buzz... celebrities galore, over $100m art collection in the lobby, one of the most exclusive clubs in the city on the ground level, the place was "it" central. It was a fun place to work at a fun time. Then.... The BM's started appearing. In a potted plant in the lobby. Behind a floor to ceiling curtain against a wall in the bar. Next to an ash tray out side the smoking door. Next to a couch on the roof terrace. Another potted tree in the lobby. Like 10 in 2 months. We dubbed him the BM bandit. He was always careful to not do it in the range of a camera. Many rumors, many suspects. Lots of drunk people in the lobby and on the roof at night. It was a real caper and the GM or the hotel was losing his freakin' mind. Finally he was caught in the act by hotel guest guest crapping behind another of those giant velvet curtains and it was the most obvious guy. An old drunkard permanent resident who hated the hotel and knew all the back hallways and doors. They ended up suing and evicting him. Thus concludes BM story time with 10year.

No matter what corner you poop in , it still makes the room stink

Back in the day, if he did this to a Yugo, the value of it would go up.

Yep, that would triple it, at the least.