I hate you all. (especially you GM) “It’s not so bad.”
Quote by me on the thread “The Medical Profession” on March 6th, 2016:
”OK
Thanks guys. I wouldn't have thought that reading posts from a Cleveland Browns fan forum would have influenced my opinion on having a colonoscopy.
But it has. Strange.
I was not "on the fence", I was dead-set against having one.
My primary care provider already gave me a referral to see a gastro-whatever doctor (I didn’t think I’d use it)
I'll be calling the GI doctor’s office this week for an appointment. (it may be months before I get in).
But be warned!
I will post a complete, detailed (with 8 by 10 colored glossy's) description of the procedure.”
My colonoscopy is scheduled for this Wednesday afternoon, May 11th.
This appointment was scheduled ~ 2 months ago. I’ve been dreading this day.
In particular there's three things I'm most nervous about:
1) The day-before-preparatory-"colon blow". (getting everything out of the colon) That starts tomorrow. Don’t worry I’ll keep you informed. 2) Being put into an induced coma. I have never been "put to sleep" before. 3) Feeling weak and sick and getting home afterwards. I'll have to rely on minibus transportation.
I suppose there's a fourth - 4) They find something.
There's a joke in Blues Brothers that could end up getting applied here, but the language ain't appropriate for the board.
I'm a much younger dude, Rocky. My only advice is to relax, and trust the professionals. Only worry about what you yourself can control. That's how I live life.
I've had two colonoscopy's and methinks you're nervous about mostly nothing.
The day before "colon blow" isn't fun insofar as the drink and the not eating anything but green jello till the scoping is done, but nothing to be nervous about.
The being put to sleep is nothing to be nervous about either, really.
They found pollops on my first go round, removed them, tested them, they came up benign. After I was released, it was a slab of ribs and fries for me!!
There is probably nothing medical that can be done that doesn't involve being uncomfortable to a degree but I'd rather have a colonoscopy than a root canal.
You might want to check and see if your balls are still attached. If not then please strap them back and stop worrying. Remember mirolax and orange G-2. It does not taste bad, and if you have followed your somewhat restrictive diet the last few days then your clean out is a breeze on Tuesday. After your first few trips to the bathroom you will be pretty much just pooping out clear liquid. You in and out of the bathroom in just a few min. each trip.
Now as for the induced coma..... Don't tell me you have never drank and passed out before. Well when you wake up from your "Coma" you won't have a hangover. I have also never felt weak or sick after a colonoscopy.
Now your 4th worry. If they find something you will be thanking your lucky stars that they caught it before it got any worse.
Just had one done last month, by far not the worst thing I've ever had happen. I remember nothing but rolling onto my side, then lights out for the procedure. The prep kind of sucked, but it's only one night and not that bad either.
So quit worrying and just do it. They found a polyp in me, tested clean though but have to repeat in 3-5 years. That's better than being told I have the Bic "C" and get to fight for my life; I'll take that anyday.
I had one last November. I was having a lot of abdominal pain and blood. Long story short, I know have ulcerative colitis. After a 12 day hospital stay, I've been mostly back to normal (knock on wood).
As for the colonoscopy, the hardest part was the prep drink. My wife mixed the stuff with room temperature water, that wasn't a good idea. I found out later that I could have mixed it with Gatorade. Although, that wouldn't have helped with the amount you have to drink in the short amount of time. A guy from the UC Facebook support group suggested starting 6 hours earlier to space out the drinks. If you want, call the doc or nurse to get pointers to make that part easier (or search on the Google machine).
The procedure and the recovery were nothing. Lay on your side, go to sleep, then you wake up. I took a long nap when I got home. You'll be fine.
As long as you get put to sleep and not just on twilight drugs, you'll be fine. I've had one colonoscopy and it was not a bad experience at all. You'll be out the whole time.
And yes, lots of going to the bathroom the day before the procedure and the day after maybe some too.
They've given me what I believe is the "pint prep" - one pint of water mixed with the medicine followed by two more pints of water within an hour.
This is done twice.
The night before (that's tomorrow night for me) and the next morning (at least 2 hours before the procedure).
My main concern during this stage is the fact that I'm not exactly Jumpin' Jack Flash (especially when I'm half asleep in bed at 3 am and I'm gonna go NOW)
Millcreek - you're not helping (the SNL "Colon Blow Skit" - I loved Phil Hartman)
Just a hint. If you are doing it the night before try to move that up to 4 or 5 PM the AFTERNOON before. Also do it EARLY the next morning and be done way before the two hour window. I Try to have mine done at least 5 to 6 hours before so I am not only cleaned out but I am done running to the bathroom by the time I leave for the hospital.
I don't know if different hospitals are different so I can only relate my experience.
I hate the dentist and I would rather have a colonoscopy any day than have my teeth cleaned.
The "colon blow" as you called it was easy. I brought my laptop & the Sunday paper into the bathroom. I had taken several laxative type pills a few hours early. Then I just had to drink a large bottle of light colored Gatorade in a certain amount of time with a powder in it. I was worried about this because some internet searches mentioned a bad taste. To me, I thought there was no taste or consistency issues.
Eventually they started working, (it took longer than my doctor had told me). All the while I watched Netflix & YouTube videos. When I was done I went to the basement to watched TV which was my biggest issue because I was starving and there were too many food commercials.
This leads me to my only issue. I was permitted breakfast on Sunday and nothing else until after the procedure Monday around Noon. I had a headache from not eating.
Regarding the "induced coma" comment. I was not. I was given a drug that appeared to put me out almost instantly. Being inquisitive, I was going to watch the clock to see how long it took. I counted to 3 than woke up in the receiving area next to my wife and the procedure was over.
I was stunned to find out I was awake through the whole thing & the drug was more of a memory "killer'. I did not believe her but the doctor walked in and said we talked through it all. When he told me the questions I asked him I knew that was me talking.
They gave me food in recovery.
MY wife drove me home about 2 & I ate more. Then I walked to my job and went over my e-mails and any customer messages for about an hour.
That was my experience & I live in a small rural county of about 35K people and one small hospital.
Good luck regarding what they could find but I think your prep and the procedure should be fine.
I had a test done on my back/nerves and was supposedly awake and talking through the entire process, but last thing I remember was rolling off the cart and onto the exam table ..... and the next thing I remember was waking up in recovery.
I guess the procedure is fairly painful, but they need to have the patient awake so they know what nerves they are hitting.
My brother died of colon cancer before he was 50... so I started getting colonoscopies when I was 43 and I'm on the every 3 year plan instead of every 5.
Colon cancer is very slow growing and it is very treatable if caught early, by the time you start to feel symptoms, it's often too late. So stop whining and lift your skirt and get the scope.
Some advice, for the night before, get baby wipes. By about the 10th time on the toilet, that toilet paper will feel like sandpaper.
And no colonoscopy thread would be complete without this...
My brother died of colon cancer before he was 50... so I started getting colonoscopies when I was 43 and I'm on the every 3 year plan instead of every 5.
Colon cancer is very slow growing and it is very treatable if caught early, by the time you start to feel symptoms, it's often too late. So stop whining and lift your skirt and get the scope.
Some advice, for the night before, get baby wipes. By about the 10th time on the toilet, that toilet paper will feel like sandpaper.
And no colonoscopy thread would be complete without this...
WHOO WHOO WHOO any guy over 50 who has not realized that wipes are to be used 100 percent of the time in the bathroom is just plain stupid
Always use flushable wipes because the other kinds of wipes are not meant to be flushed and cause a lot of problems for water treatment centers. It costs millions of dollars to get rid of those things.
Always use flushable wipes because the other kinds of wipes are not meant to be flushed and cause a lot of problems for water treatment centers. It costs millions of dollars to get rid of those things.
Well the dreaded “day before the colonoscopy” is here, Toto.
The Colon Blow medicine says “You can have a light breakfast the day before, OR clear liquids.
Nothing else to eat today or before the procedure.
I just finished a black coffee (with some sweet ‘n low). (I prefer my coffee light - but NO MILK PRODUCTS the day off or before a colonoscopy)
I’m debating having my usual breakfast - an orange, a banana and an apple. (that sounds light to me - but I don’t want any extra poopage later so I haven’t had my light breakfast yet - still debating)
The real fun starts tonight when I consume the first dose of “Colon Blow”.
For those of you who have not experienced the joy of having your lower intestines violated, you take two doses of Colon Blow: 1) the night before, and 2) the morning of.
I’m going with GM’s advice:
Quote:
By GM above:
Just a hint. If you are doing it the night before try to move that up to 4 or 5 PM the AFTERNOON before. Also do it EARLY the next morning and be done way before the two hour window. I Try to have mine done at least 5 to 6 hours before so I am not only cleaned out but I am done running to the bathroom by the time I leave for the hospital.
I rely on minibus transportation that has somewhat unpredictable ride times (sometimes these minibuses have to pick-up and drop-off other riders and a half-hour ride door-to-door can turn into a 1 ½ ride.)
I can’t be “having to go” in the middle of the trip. That’s extreme No Bueno.
I think I’m going to skip the optional “light breakfast” this morning and just go with a couple more black coffees. That would mean no more food for the next ~35 hours (And I haven’t eaten since last night ~ 7 pm. So a total of 46 hours no food)
Now that I look at that - I’m gonna splurge and have the banana.
Just another Tuesday night at the hilldawg residence.
Do I look fat in this dress? (on Tuesday nights, I self-identify as Dorothy)
This leads me to my only issue. I was permitted breakfast on Sunday and nothing else until after the procedure Monday around Noon. I had a headache from not eating.
That is why whenever I've scheduled a test like this, I've always wanted to be the first patient in. Earlier the better. 6am if they can start that early. About an hour and a half later, I'm eating something.
And growling. I'd love to have a bowl of popcorn right now.
I typed this message at ~ 5:30 pm and before I could download the following image, I had to immediately rush to the toilet to evacuate my bowels (for the next hour).
And shower after that. I'm hungry. I gotta do this again ~ 4 am tomorrow and I'm less than happy.
I'm going to have a bowl of popcorn tomorrow night. Just like this one.
Was up from 2-3 am with residual effects of dose #1 (siting on toilet). (About 11 hours after the dose)
9:45 am I need to be outside waiting for minibus to hospital 11:30 am check-in at "gastro" unit (It's at a huge hospital) 12:30 pm colonoscopy 1:30 pm estimated revival time 3-4 pm hopefully back home and eating myself into oblivion.
Anybody know the fatality rate on colonoscopies? I heard it's only like 43%.
It was relieving to get to share my pre-procedure angst about this with a crazy Browns Forum board. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
As was noted above by several of you, the actual procedure itself is nothing. But that’s only ½ hour of a three day ordeal. (most notably, the colon blow) One polyp removed otherwise normal.
My buddy stopped at Subway on the way home yesterday afternoon and I got a 12” grinder (submarine, hero, poboy whatever you call it). I ate it voraciously like a pride of lions that hadn’t eaten in three years. It was the most delicious meal I ever had.
The ordeal is still not quite over. My sphincter region is throbbing in a most unpleasant manner after having been roughly violated. I will never go through that again.
(Did you note the error above in semantics class? - Lions who go 3 years without eating ARE DEAD.)
Whew, was worried we were going to lose you there rocky! AND since they found a polyp, you have to do it again in 3 or 5 years? lol, never doing it again until the next time because cancer sucks.
Yeah, glad it went well (or as well as it could go).
I think I'll probably have to do another one soon. The meds I'm on have enabled me to be "normal" since December. The doc hasn't said I'm in remission with my UC just yet. I wonder if he has to look again to make sure. I'd rather just take his word.
I am probably about due for one, but my doctor doesn't seem too concerned. I do blood work twice/year, with about 65 or 70 individual tests involved, and I don't know if that's why, or he just doesn't want to torture me more that I already am being tortured. lol I did do the test where you scrape up some of your excrement into a little tube, and mail it off to the testing company. Talk about a crappy job ... how about the person who has to open those up. "Hey Honey, how was work today?" "Crap, as usual." It was a relief to get the call saying that everything was normal though.
WAIT your due? Don't make me drive up there naked, walk up to your front door naked, bang on your front door naked. Drive you to the Dr's naked. You know damn well that I will
It's been strongly suggested by my doctor that at sixty-four, in two days, it is past the time for me to have a colonoscopy. I have resisted thus far, mostly due to the fear of the anal probe. Thanks to the conversations here that explain sleeping through the procedure I no longer fear that.
My new fear is the "colon blow". I had a bout of diarrhea a couple of months ago due to the interactions of two different medications. In one day I sat on the crapper eleven times. Half-way through I could hear my anal aperture weeping at the thought of being touched by toilet paper again. I have and use baby wipes, but after so many episodes even those begin to feel like wiping with a roofing shingle.
I really appreciate a thread like this. Old guys sharing their experiences about an unspeakable medical process. Nowhere else could one hear so many versions sharing their experience, strength, and hope on such a delicate topic. It brings those deep dark fears out into the open where they dissipate.
After reading this thread, and seeing how much GM seems to like it, (the anal probe aspect anyway), I'm thinking maybe the doctor is right. I should forge ahead and go for the adventure. My next doctor appointment is the 27th. I believe I'll bring it up and get it scheduled. The worst that could happen is still a good thing.
As for the "colon blow" process, I only disliked drinking the full glass of lukewarm, flavorless, thick liquid every 10 minutes. If I had known, I would have mixed it with Gatorade, watered it down further, and started the process earlier so I could do it every 20-30 minutes.
I didn't mind the toilet action. Due to my illness, I was already going every 45 mins and was "downloading" a very unfulfilled amount too. The heavy amount of liquid was a good change of pace, if you will.
I initially told the doc I didn't want to be totally out during the procedure so I could see the results real time, but my attitude changed about 10 minutes in. Yeah, drop me out completely. It got a little uncomfortable. Once I was out, I didn't feel a thing.
For those of you who hate the prep. PLEASE remember to tell your DR. YES TELL them, don't ask, don't kitty cat foot around just come right out and tell them that you will be using miralax and a clear colored gatorade. Downing 32 ounces of cold gatorade is 1,000 times easier than that other junk some DR's try to tell you to drink.
Also follow a low Residue diet the week before your colonoscopy. (If you sat down and ate a pound of cashews the day before your colon blow your going to be sorry, and make sure you do the all clear liquid diet the day before your colon blow. (I only eat peach jello, and banana popsicles the day before) This will solve the issue's or a sore butt as you will still be running to the bathroom but by your 3rd or 4th trip you will be pooping nothing but clear liquid, without any straining so you can just dab instead of wipe with your
Thus avoiding the sandpaper feeling ddubia was talking about.
On a side note, the colonoscopy prep shows what a bunch of BS the "cleansing" proponents are spewing. There's not an inch plus of toxin buildup on the walls of your intestines, requiring an expensive multi day cleansing process. The one evening colonoscopy prep cleans every last bit of waste, leaving a clean, spotless interior that you can see. If you feel you need a cleanout, don't waste all of that money, just use GM's Miralax colonoscopy prep.
I am an IBS-C sufferer, I deal with it every day. Put a couple of squirts of your favorite skin lotion on your TP (aloe vera is wonderful), it works great and keeps things from getting irritated down there. Clean up in the sink after.
If you can't handle a little diarrhea and constipation your going to want to commit Hara-kiri if you need a colostomy bag. Trust me bro you don't ever want that.
On a side note, the colonoscopy prep shows what a bunch of BS the "cleansing" proponents are spewing. There's not an inch plus of toxin buildup on the walls of your intestines, requiring an expensive multi day cleansing process. The one evening colonoscopy prep cleans every last bit of waste, leaving a clean, spotless interior that you can see. If you feel you need a cleanout, don't waste all of that money, just use GM's Miralax colonoscopy prep.
I am an IBS-C sufferer, I deal with it every day. Put a couple of squirts of your favorite skin lotion on your TP (aloe vera is wonderful), it works great and keeps things from getting irritated down there. Clean up in the sink after.
Also, if for some reason you don't want to use lotion, try getting the softness TP you can find, which is probably Charmin ultra soft. Don't screw up and get their ultra strong instead! It's just too harsh for down there. (Yikes!)
Extra virgin olive oil (extra virgin because you probably are).
Drink enough of the beer until you're ready.
Hook up the hose to your shark vacuum, use duct tape for any piece not exactly fitting airtight.
Dip the end of hose not connected to the shark into the extra virgin olive oil. Insert that end appropriately into your rear end. You'll have to decide what appropriate means to you.
Hand you beer to a buddy.
Turn on the shark (as a safety measure keep a firm grasp on the power cord, yank it like a ripcord if something goes wrong).
Once you feel properly sucked, turn off the shark, remove the hose and throw the hose and the shark in the trash.
