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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13,722 Likes: 174
Legend
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Legend
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 13,722 Likes: 174 |
I am an IBS-C sufferer, I deal with it every day. Put a couple of squirts of your favorite skin lotion on your TP (aloe vera is wonderful), it works great and keeps things from getting irritated down there. Clean up in the sink after.
Also, if for some reason you don't want to use lotion, try getting the softness TP you can find, which is probably Charmin ultra soft. Don't screw up and get their ultra strong instead! It's just too harsh for down there. (Yikes!)
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 16,195
Legend
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Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 16,195 |
Bypass all that garbage.
Get a 24 pack of your favorite beer.
A 3 foot piece of 3/4" garden hose.
A shark vacuum.
Extra virgin olive oil (extra virgin because you probably are).
Drink enough of the beer until you're ready.
Hook up the hose to your shark vacuum, use duct tape for any piece not exactly fitting airtight.
Dip the end of hose not connected to the shark into the extra virgin olive oil.
Insert that end appropriately into your rear end. You'll have to decide what appropriate means to you.
Hand you beer to a buddy.
Turn on the shark (as a safety measure keep a firm grasp on the power cord, yank it like a ripcord if something goes wrong).
Once you feel properly sucked, turn off the shark, remove the hose and throw the hose and the shark in the trash.
If possible, have another beer, if not call 911.
#GMSTRONG
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 7,612
Hall of Famer
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OP
Hall of Famer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 7,612 |
Just another Sunday night in OK, eh Tulsa?
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 16,195
Legend
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Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 16,195 |
Nah, everyone's at church tonight.
#GMSTRONG
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 14,758 Likes: 933
Legend
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Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 14,758 Likes: 933 |
I know your screen name is Tulsa, but would your real last name be McGuyver?
"too many notes, not enough music-"
#GMStong
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 16,195
Legend
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Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 16,195 |
I know your screen name is Tulsa, but would your real last name be McGuyver? If I was McGuyver I could have come up with a way to keep the shark vacuum.
#GMSTRONG
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 14,758 Likes: 933
Legend
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Legend
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 14,758 Likes: 933 |
 Reuse, recycle, reduce... 
"too many notes, not enough music-"
#GMStong
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DawgTalkers.net
Forums DawgTalk Everything Else... Colonoscopy
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